Why our brahmin boys and girls well educated and hailing from respectable families are running after NB girls and boys to marry them. What are the biological reasons and attractions towards them. Though I gathered some informations through some of my knowledgeable sources , I would like to know the views, suggestions, reasons for such exodus ,from our well informed forum members.Is it not our responsibility to arrest such trend.? :
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Intercaste marriages/Reasons
- Thread starter psnarasimhan
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sangom
0
Shri Narasimhan,
Intercaste Marriage (ICM) is a topic which has been discussed threadbare (and perhaps, ad nauseum) in this forum. You have to only search the archives.
As an old man belonging to the previous generation (or, even the one previous to that) it is my feeling that caste is no longer a factor influencing our younger generations, especially in the matter of marriage. So, if you are also an old person like myself, it is better to just allow the world to go by and watch the procession; if you are middle-aged, may be it is better to try inculcating in your children's minds that caste is also a factor in choosing their life-partners.
Vaagmi
0
There is no special biological reason. The hormones and pheromones are the driving forces since primordial times. The opportunity and proximity are the immediate facilitating factors. In the young age boys perhaps think " age cannot wither her; nor custom stale her infinite variety" and fall for the girls. The values inculcated never allow them to ditch even when the familiarity bred contempt raises its head. Then it is marriage and a routine humdrum life with children, ration card, gas cylinder, hospital and also a car and a holiday in London/Europe once in a while. Thus goes on the life of a brahmin boy.
C
CHANDRU1849
Guest
The primary reason is the economic independence of women.
During the previous generations, though men were only the earning members, love marriages were very less. If so, in most of the cases, it was within the community.
The present day women, who are well employed, don't want to follow like men of earlier generations.
In the 'NEEYA NAANA' program telecast on Sunday 26.10.2014, the topic was the attitude of present day girls - on the one side, young girls studying / employed and the opposite side, fathers of the girls.
Most of the girls prefer love marriage and no bar in choosing dalit boys, if they are well educated and well employed. From the fathers' side, except three, others are willing to accept love marriage. As per the organizer, similar program was organised four years back. Only three fathers agreed for love marriage.
Change in the society is inevitable and we will have to live with it.
Otherwise, the B Association has to be made stronger with regular interaction.
During the previous generations, though men were only the earning members, love marriages were very less. If so, in most of the cases, it was within the community.
The present day women, who are well employed, don't want to follow like men of earlier generations.
In the 'NEEYA NAANA' program telecast on Sunday 26.10.2014, the topic was the attitude of present day girls - on the one side, young girls studying / employed and the opposite side, fathers of the girls.
Most of the girls prefer love marriage and no bar in choosing dalit boys, if they are well educated and well employed. From the fathers' side, except three, others are willing to accept love marriage. As per the organizer, similar program was organised four years back. Only three fathers agreed for love marriage.
Change in the society is inevitable and we will have to live with it.
Otherwise, the B Association has to be made stronger with regular interaction.
renuka
Well-known member
In the young age too girls looking at the the strong movie hero physic of the young males think "Wow Nainam chindanti sashtrani, nainam dahati pavakah..na cainam kledayanti apo..na shoshayati maruthah" and verily fall for the boys!LOL
After all heros in Tamil movies..weapons,fire,water or wind hurt them not!
tbs
0
hi
primary reason education/economnic indepenence.....more wider choices out of the box....
secondary reason parents of old generation had joint family system with rigid jataka porutham...
even old generations can't break that rules in their time...now they want to
give/some encouragement from girl's mother/boy's mother.....women are more engaged in these
marriages and very supportive than male counter part.....change is rule of law....its inevitable
sometimes.....sometimes we have to flow with water.....against the tide may loose our kids...
primary reason education/economnic indepenence.....more wider choices out of the box....
secondary reason parents of old generation had joint family system with rigid jataka porutham...
even old generations can't break that rules in their time...now they want to
give/some encouragement from girl's mother/boy's mother.....women are more engaged in these
marriages and very supportive than male counter part.....change is rule of law....its inevitable
sometimes.....sometimes we have to flow with water.....against the tide may loose our kids...
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very interesting post.
1.in addition to opportunity and proximity, there are factors like caste [improvement?], financial status,religeous
factors[escape from rigid practises],besides physical looks and similar preferances in foods,hobbies could be deciding
factors. ultimately it is cold blooded choice for both boys and girls.
2.being a brahmin per say does not mean better values than other castes IMHO. brahmins can also ditch each other
if there are differences in marriage relation ship. there are as many brahmin couples in divorce courts as in other
communities
3It appears difficult for all couples to come to terms with a routine humdrum life after marriage, is there a way to
make post marriage life a lot pleasanter without hassles associated with running a familyif we can escape from caste or
religious considerations to make life simpler after marriage?
marriage
I like yr post.
You can make difference with a stand instead of watch the procession.
young people are looking upto senior mature citizens for guidance on issues of marriage and finding a mate
they are unable to come to terms with caste and religion related issues.
not many are able to finding a reasonable choice with constraints imposed by family and society besides
complexities of modern living involving education and career. beliefs in horoscope matching and traditional ways of
finding a match are making things very difficult for youngsters
TBSji
Male -Female equations in marriage has undergone a change
Women are more perceptive of the change in gender relationships and are striving for for gender equality and justice
in marriages for girl child. They want more equal/equitable relationships and friendship in marriage more than just a
economic provider as men for their daughters.It has become inevitable as you say for girls with good education and
paying jobs
what women want , most women do not know.
it is OK girls may look for a good physic for a relationship.
it is just one thing.
otherwise how do you explain, girls falling for short pot bellied,slightly thin haired highly educated and high earning
boys marrying beautiful, dumb girls and calling it love.
Chandruji
regards post5 above,
most parents have come to accept other brahmin sub castes[say iyers and iyengars],Still NB is a bigger issue.
most brahmin parents most reluctantly accept a NB groom while brahmin girls do not mind NB match if the comfort
level is high with a NB mate who is a classmate, office colleague or just a friend
Choice for parents is very little. it is choice of girls or highway.
hence the crowd of brahmins in old age homes- many have not come to terms with intercaste relationship of their
offspings
regards post5 above,
most parents have come to accept other brahmin sub castes[say iyers and iyengars],Still NB is a bigger issue.
most brahmin parents most reluctantly accept a NB groom while brahmin girls do not mind NB match if the comfort
level is high with a NB mate who is a classmate, office colleague or just a friend
Choice for parents is very little. it is choice of girls or highway.
hence the crowd of brahmins in old age homes- many have not come to terms with intercaste relationship of their
offspings
C
CHANDRU1849
Guest
sir
Idhu Kalthin Kolam. Circumstances, individual mind set, interest like this goes on.... recently i have read and seen through daily news paper that one couple used helicopter for their marriage purpose ( sorry it is not to criticize anyone ) - ithu avargolda viruppam - periavargal ithai patri solliyiruka mattargala illai yosithu irukka mattargala - irai arulal thirumanam nandraga mudinthathu - vazthukkal. Ithupol nam anaivarum varum kalangalil veru veru athisayangal parpatharkku thayar paduthikkolvom. Enakku therintha varayil all parents nandraga padikka vaithu nalla nalla palakka vazakkangal sampradayam anaithum soli koduthuthan valarkirargal etho ondru naduvil nadanthu vidugirathu - inguthan satru vithiyai patri yosikka vendiullathu. Nan arva kolarinal ethagilum thavarana karuthai pathivu saithirunthal manikkavum.
Idhu Kalthin Kolam. Circumstances, individual mind set, interest like this goes on.... recently i have read and seen through daily news paper that one couple used helicopter for their marriage purpose ( sorry it is not to criticize anyone ) - ithu avargolda viruppam - periavargal ithai patri solliyiruka mattargala illai yosithu irukka mattargala - irai arulal thirumanam nandraga mudinthathu - vazthukkal. Ithupol nam anaivarum varum kalangalil veru veru athisayangal parpatharkku thayar paduthikkolvom. Enakku therintha varayil all parents nandraga padikka vaithu nalla nalla palakka vazakkangal sampradayam anaithum soli koduthuthan valarkirargal etho ondru naduvil nadanthu vidugirathu - inguthan satru vithiyai patri yosikka vendiullathu. Nan arva kolarinal ethagilum thavarana karuthai pathivu saithirunthal manikkavum.
Intercaste marriage is the order of the day. Hindu marries christian and muslim boys and girls- they do not know what will be their style of living after 25 years when their son/daughter prepares for marriage. Also veg/ nonveg families are changing their way of life. Not at all to be supported. Hinduism is the foremost religion and it will survive and start dominating after few years. How quickly they get married and how quickly they divorce is to be noted. Salvation is from the parents only
salvation from parents?
RAMVENI999 forget it. Parents are what the younger generation is running away f from due to the parents rigid views on castes/subcastes , horoscope matching.
Change is inevitable . How to transact change with minimum damage to family with some compromises is to be learnt by all parents.
Those who see what is happening around and come to terms with it will do well.
Others will meet an unpleasant fate
RAMVENI999 forget it. Parents are what the younger generation is running away f from due to the parents rigid views on castes/subcastes , horoscope matching.
Change is inevitable . How to transact change with minimum damage to family with some compromises is to be learnt by all parents.
Those who see what is happening around and come to terms with it will do well.
Others will meet an unpleasant fate
S
SANDHYAV
Guest
another katcha meeta
Raji Ram
Active member
What is Tambram Boy - Muslim Girl lovvu called, Renu?
Any specific name?
S
SANDHYAV
Guest
Recently a priest said, food taste should nt be a prblm, coz his mutt prvides free orginal taste.
I havent seen any of the old discussions being a casual visitor. But reservation benefits is one obvious factor. I am all for ICMs as long as a few core Brahmin customs are not given the go-by. It is amazing to me that people of this forum still discuss Iyer-Iyengar differences. Both of minuscule number - does it matter at all?
ICMs are not the issue - its erosion of Brahmin customs and values thats the issue. Today we see many Bs even of the older generation proudly saying *I never do Sandhyavandanam...I never follow any of the brahmin customs or values..yet I am none the worse of it* - As if yogakshemam of a few yrs is all that matters. Are they any different from NBs? They eat....sleep..copulate the same way that NBs do. Whereas if an ICM results in a NB taking up B values - thats the best I would say. The focus should be more on spreading the B values. If that happens with an ICM (a big IF) then I am all for an ICM. I dont feel the same for IRM as - the non hindu religions generally dont encourage a person belonging to their religion following the Brahmin customs and values - though as always there might be exceptions.
Raji Ram
Active member
Dear KRN Sir,
It is a news to me when you say that nonbrams are taking bram values! A boy in our extended family says that he has the same
taste in food, music, politics, fine arts etc with a girl from another religion! We are wondering when this boy, who appears to be
very orthodox, started eating meat!
BTW, have you ever heard of IC / IR guy who became a brahmin? The most broadminded guy might allow his spouse to pray to
her ishta dEvatA and go to the temples. That is all!
It is a news to me when you say that nonbrams are taking bram values! A boy in our extended family says that he has the same
taste in food, music, politics, fine arts etc with a girl from another religion! We are wondering when this boy, who appears to be
very orthodox, started eating meat!
BTW, have you ever heard of IC / IR guy who became a brahmin? The most broadminded guy might allow his spouse to pray to
her ishta dEvatA and go to the temples. That is all!
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