A doubt regarding performing Srardham

[P.J.]

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One of my close relative lost his wife recently; his mother's srardham is in November 2012.
He has a doubt performing Sradham without his wife, hence this question.

Kindly Advice

 

[kgopalan]

Sratham for mother must be done. If he is having brother he can join with him.

 

[P.J.]

Sir
He is not having any brother; his doubt is since he has lost his wife recently, can he perform his mother's srardham which is in November 2012?

 

[ozone]

As long as he is alive, he needs to perform the srardham for his departed parents. What is the doubt?

 

[kgopalan]

he must do the sratham

 

[Raji Ram]

There are places in SingArach Chennai, like Chithiraik kuLam in Mylapore, where the total arrangements for the

Sraddham are made, on payment. The kartha can have his lunch there, after the SrAddham is performed.

I can understand the difficulty of that gentleman, when the 'Gruha Lakshmi' is not there to help!

Mrs. Raji Ram

 

[P.J.]

Thanks Raji Ram.

 

[ozone]

He has a doubt performing Sradham without his wife

his doubt is since he has lost his wife recently, can he perform his mother's srardham

I can understand the difficulty of that gentleman, when the 'Gruha Lakshmi' is not there to help!

True, you can understand difficulty, ... whereas I found it difficult to understand

 

[vgane]

Dear Mr Janakiraman,
Further to post by Mrs Raji Ram,
The address in Chitrakulam is as follows:
Mylai Vaidika Mahajana Sabha,
Sankaraalayam, Old No 26, Chitrakulam North Street,
Mylapore, Chennai:600004
Phone no:044-24957195

Here the ceremonies are performed in the I floor in a traditional manner.

 

[P.J.]

Someone says he can't understand the difficulty!! The person is over 75, all alone, no brothers, and he does not like to go to Sasthrigal's place or somewhere to perform Srardham because of his health condition; some people live here in dreams, go on giving one line answer; As long as his wife was alive, she used to prepare every thing and help to complete Srardham.
He was under the impression 'graha Lakshmi is a must for performing Srardham, hence this question.No one answered this part or thought about it.
Anyway thanks for Raji Ram and vgane.

 

[ozone]

Someone says he can't understand the difficulty!!

I think this is targeted at me.
Please re read my post if that is the case. I mentioned it as 'find it difficult to understand'
and you rightly support it with

No one answered this part or thought about it.

BTW, You also mention

One of my close relative ...

I guess you were looking for a loop hole or an escape clause. You could have been more explicit in stating your needs.
I have no more comments to offer.

 

[Raji Ram]

......... He was under the impression 'graha Lakshmi is a must for performing Srardham, hence this question.No one answered this part or thought about it. ...

Dear Sir,

You asked

Sir
He is not having any brother; his doubt is since he has lost his wife recently, can he perform his mother's srardham which is in November 2012?

and Sri. Gopalan answered in post # 5

he must do the sratham

Many persons who can not go out, due to health conditions, opt for 'hiraNya srAddham' at their residence, with the help of family sAsthrigaL.

 

[C RAVI]

...... Many persons who can not go out, due to health conditions, opt for 'hiraNya srAddham' at their residence, with the help of family sAsthrigaL.

Absolutely true!!!

'Hiranya Sraddham' is more than enough when things are not too comfortable to go ahead with 'Sraddham'. Sraddham/Thavasam is conducted in a more systematic and elaborative way

 

[P.J.]

Thaks Ravi Sir, That is what my relative is going to do.

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

Dear Shri.Padmanabhan Janakiraman,
I am a widower and now aged 79.I started performing 'Sradham' in Sri.Raghavendra Mutt even when my wife was alive.
She was not keeping good health in her last days.
After her death,I wanted to perform the 'Sradham' as "Hiranyam"
The regular family priest deputed new persons.One lady aged 65+ was helping us in Cooking staying in our house as a regular member.The purohits mistook that lady as my wife causing embarassment to me.
So I started going to Sri.Raghavendra Mutt on a regular basis.
The procedure may be a bit different,but we offer rituals to Agni in a kumutty,offer Pindams to forefathers,Pindam for crow etc.
They charge Rs.425 or so and allow meals for two persons.They charge etc for additional persons.
I find lot of Iyers & Iyengars come there and perform the ceremony as they find it convenient.
Being aged,I find difficulty to wait for food which will be available by 12.30 or so after finishing daily Pooja to Shri.Raghavendra,while the ceremony will be over by 10.30am.
There is no compulsion that one should stay and take food in the Mutt.

 

[P.J.]

Dear Sri.B.Krishnamurthy

Thanks for your valuable advice. in fact one of his friend also suggested the same thing
Regards

Padmanabhan.J

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear padmanabhan !
as raji ram madam said there are many places to perform sraathams on payment of fixed charges .if your relative is near trichy ,he can perform it trichy with Kavery snanam .one " dharma pradha "
in srirengam is available and many houses in trichy andal street
guruvayurappan

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear friends !
it is better to perform srartham with homam in stead of hiranya srartham .the hiranya srartham may be the lost option for very old and disabled persons
guruvayurappan

 

[sangom]

One of my close relative lost his wife recently; his mother's srardham is in November 2012.
He has a doubt performing Sradham without his wife, hence this question.

Kindly Advice

AFAI have heard from elders, one cannot perform a Sraaddha with homam if he is widower; he may do only 'hiranya sraaddham'. If this widowed man is not the eldest surviving son, then he need only participate in the Sraaddham performed by his elder brother, who may be having his wife still alive.

 

[P.J.]

Dear sangom sir
He has no brother/younger or elder .
So he has to do only 'hiranya sraaddham' as per your advice
Thanks

 

[moodamadayan]

I am only reminded of an incident from Bhagvan Sri Ramana Maharshii's life- A devotee of Maharshi came to Bhagvan and said" Bhagvan, tomorrow is my mother's shrardham and I don't feel like doing it". Bhagvan replied " Don't do it then". After two or three days the same devotee came to Bhagvan and said that he was feeling guilty of not doing the shardham of his mother. Bhagvan immediately replied " you should have done it"

Hope the message is clear- If you want to do or don't want to do, take a decision and stick to it and most importantly don't keep thinking about it.Association with the action creates vasanas.

Love,

Moodamadayan

 

[prasad1]

I am only reminded of an incident from Bhagvan Sri Ramana Maharshii's life- A devotee of Maharshi came to Bhagvan and said" Bhagvan, tomorrow is my mother's shrardham and I don't feel like doing it". Bhagvan replied " Don't do it then". After two or three days the same devotee came to Bhagvan and said that he was feeling guilty of not doing the shardham of his mother. Bhagvan immediately replied " you should have done it"

Hope the message is clear- If you want to do or don't want to do, take a decision and stick to it and most importantly don't keep thinking about it.Association with the action creates vasanas.

Love,

Moodamadayan

Good post. If the mind is wavering, that is guilt. Guilt is detrimental to your mental peace.

 

[P.J.]

Sir
It is not the question of 'doing or not doing' ; my relative was thinking as he has lost his wife recently, he was worried about doing his mother's sraddham without his wife in his home; one member rightly pointed out that without wife only Hiranya Srardham can be done and no homam. That settles the issue.
thanks

 

[HARE RAMA HARE KRISHNA]

Good post. If the mind is wavering, that is guilt. Guilt is detrimental to your mental peace.

prasadji

if mind not wavering no guilt ji? lets say ji one born criminal doesnt feel any guilt ji but he go on injuring others ji. like a terrorist ji , now is he guilty or no guilty ji?

 

[prasad1]

prasadji

if mind not wavering no guilt ji? lets say ji one born criminal doesnt feel any guilt ji but he go on injuring others ji. like a terrorist ji , now is he guilty or no guilty ji?

My message was to moodamadayan on his post.
I only compliment the post i like.


I am not the judge or the jury to ascribe guilt.
If someone does something against their value system, and have a conscience, the mind is at an agitated state. This churning is self guilt.

The crimes against society, nature or the state is taken care by other agencies.
A crime against society is taken care by police, and court system.
A crime against nature is punished (try jumping down a high rise).
A crime against country is punished by the military.

You think that what you say is right and what others say does not count, let me tell you sir, you are far from right.