a Second Partner in life

[kunjuppu]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

A new partner for mom | Society | Times Crest

if i am not mistaken, a while back, i posted that we had a widow/widower marriage from our community here in toronto, with the full support of their chldren.

the earliest i know of widow remarriage, is one of my girl cousins, with a young daughter, who married a nair youth in the early sixties. she had met this gentleman at work, and both fell in love, he knowing her circumstances and having the confidence to handle being a ready-made father.

that above story has a happy ending, the last i heard. the daughter married off to an iyer guy, with her insisting that the nair father giving her off.

increasingly i am seeing widowed folks in friends and relatives. with the men, it is no issue to talk about finding another partner.

but with the women, my wife and i, are uniform in our attitude, that they too should pursue finding a partner.

nowadays, the children grow up and leave him, leave the country and go far away. it is a deadly state to be alone, waiting for a phone call or skype contact with the child, for succour.

not only do i think there is nothing wrong, but i think, all of us here in this forum, should encourage our widowed mothers, sisters, daughters to find a companion, and actively go about searching for the same - similar to what we would do, if these were in their early 20s and seeking spouses for the first time.

what is good for the gander, is also good for the goose. n'est pas?

 

[renuka]

A new partner for mom | Society | Times Crest

if i am not mistaken, a while back, i posted that we had a widow/widower marriage from our community here in toronto, with the full support of our chldren.

the earliest i know of widow remarriage, is one of my girl cousins, with a young daughter, who married a nair youth in the early sixties. she had met this gentleman at work, and both fell in love, he knowing her circumstances and having the confidence to handle being a ready-made father.




that above story has a happy ending, the last i heard. the daughter married off to an iyer guy, with her insisting that the nair father giving her off.

increasingly i am seeing widowed folks in friends and relatives. with the men, it is no issue to talk about finding another partner.

but with the women, my wife and i, are uniform in our attitude, that they too should pursue finding a partner.

nowadays, the children grow up and leave him, leave the country and go far away. it is a deadly state to be alone, waiting for a phone call or skype contact with the child, for succour.

not only do i think there is nothing wrong, but i think, all of us here in this forum, should encourage our widowed mothers, sisters, daughters to find a companion, and actively go about searching for the same - similar to what we would do, if these were in their early 20s and seeking spouses for the first time.

what is good for the gander, is also good for the goose. n'est pas?

Just to add..we often neglect the elderly who are widows and widowers.
I have seen one elderly person I know who is related to me through marriage.
He has grown up kids who are married and stay on their own and he stays with his younger son who comes home real late due to bussiness commitments.
He is alone the whole day and is in his 70s and reads books whole day and watches TV too..
I feel sad for him that he goes thru this life after his wife passed on 2 years ago.
In fact even my son had said why dont we find a wife for him..he has no one to talk too.
At an older age we need someone to share our feelings with and no one will kind of agree with me cos they will feel at this age what do we need anymore.
In fact I had told him to get internet savy and even suggested this Forum to keep himself busy or even Facebook and in fact I told him may be I will help you open a Facebook account and put a pic of you when you were young and get a few online friends or if you are interested in religious topics with occasional "fights" TB forum is a good forum.

Well not many view my suggestions to get over his loneliness seriously.
Many dont realize that the elderly get depressed too.
Well may be God knows i can get him to meet some nice lady who can share his thoughts and I will let all of you know when that happens cos this person is my Father in Law.

 

[kunjuppu]

renu,

you are so right. companionship is a necessary ingredient in everyone's life, regardless of age.

i do know of another lady who had an abusive marriage. when the husband died, she got back her freedom and life. she revels in it. whenever i approached her over the years, of another marriage, she used to retort, that having one bad experience is enough.

just this time on a visit to chennai, she confided that she is on the look out for a suitable man. her children, who are grown up and abroad, are very supportive.

so there is hope. even for your fil. get him on to facebook and this forum. surprisingly how quickly he would find the zest for life again.

 

[nachi naga]

men and women are polygamous in nature.humanity invented moral codes,so that one can be controlling.god has given us freedom but humanity restricted the freedom and paying a price for it now.just that men can have their sex drive well even in age 80 and now i find women in 80's too rock and roll.