That's the topic that I read a few months back in Forbes and it is also covered in today's edition of Wealth..Being open, transparent and honest on Money matters will work well...Sharing your debt, money transfer to dependents have to mutually agreed..It is better that bank accounts are separate initially for a period of 6 months to 1 year and later combined if required
[h=1]Are Money Issues Affecting Your Marriage?[/h]
By Sonya Stinson
Married 48 years, Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz have a long-standing rule about shopping: Neither makes a purchase above $200 without consulting the other.
“If it goes beyond that limit, you come home and talk about it,” said Charles, a PhD and professor emeritus of counseling and family therapy at the University of Missouri–St. Louis. “You sit at the table and figure out how it fits in the budget.”
It’s not just their own experience that makes them firm believers that open communication and joint financial decision making are essential ingredients for a happy marriage. They also have the research to back it up.
The Schmitzes, co-authors of Building a Love that Lasts, The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage and several other books, have spent 32 years studying marriage. Their findings reinforce what a number of other studies have shown: Financial disagreements are the No. 1 cause of marital strife and divorce.
In a national survey published in May 2012 by the American Institute of CPAs, 27 percent of respondents who were married or living with a partner cited conflicts about money as their most common reason for arguing. Nearly 60 percent of those said the spat usually stemmed from differing views about “wants” vs. “needs.” Almost 50 percent said they argued about unexpected expenses, and a third fought about not saving enough money.
Financial arguments usually start when household economic conditions are most stressful, said Elizabeth Schmitz.
“You’re not arguing if everything is hunky-dory, money is in great shape and you’re sailing and cruising along,” she said. “The arguments start when the stress comes—when you can’t pay the bills, when one of the two partners bought something extraordinary and didn’t tell the other partner.”
The Schmitzes have seven rules for protecting a marriage in tough economic times:
1. Handle money matters as a team. Instead of dividing financial obligations into “yours” and “mine,” think “our bills, our mortgage, our debt.”
2. Communicate openly about all financial issues. For example, if one person pays all of the bills, he or she needs to update the other at least once a month about where things stand.
3. Agree on a course of action, based on your common goals, for resolving financial setbacks.
4. Don’t play the blame game. When successful couples face financial problems, “they roll up their sleeves and figure out together how to solve them,” Elizabeth said.
5. Don’t wallow in self-pity. “It’s a wasted emotion,” Charles said. “The message you hear from successfully married couples … is that no problem has ever been solved by feeling sorry for yourself or your situation.”
6. Take immediate action to address financial problems. Putting things off—or taking what Elizabeth calls “the Lone Ranger” approach—won’t help.
7. Celebrate whenever you achieve a financial success. That could include paying off a credit card bill or mortgage or reaching a savings goal.
For newlyweds, Elizabeth underscored the need to avoid accumulating too much debt too soon through furnishing a new home, buying a new car or making other big purchases as a couple.
“All of a sudden, the arguments start because they are so far in over their heads they can’t figure out how to get out,” she said.
Communication, both said, is the key to achieving compromise between couples with differing financial goals or money management styles.
“You don’t resolve something by not paying attention to it,” Charles said. “You don’t resolve a disagreement by not talking. If you don’t find common ground on some of these really important financial situations, they are going to draw a wedge between the two of you.”
Northwestern MutualVoice: Are Money Issues Affecting Your Marriage? - Forbes
[h=1]Are Money Issues Affecting Your Marriage?[/h]
By Sonya Stinson
Married 48 years, Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz have a long-standing rule about shopping: Neither makes a purchase above $200 without consulting the other.
“If it goes beyond that limit, you come home and talk about it,” said Charles, a PhD and professor emeritus of counseling and family therapy at the University of Missouri–St. Louis. “You sit at the table and figure out how it fits in the budget.”
It’s not just their own experience that makes them firm believers that open communication and joint financial decision making are essential ingredients for a happy marriage. They also have the research to back it up.
The Schmitzes, co-authors of Building a Love that Lasts, The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage and several other books, have spent 32 years studying marriage. Their findings reinforce what a number of other studies have shown: Financial disagreements are the No. 1 cause of marital strife and divorce.
In a national survey published in May 2012 by the American Institute of CPAs, 27 percent of respondents who were married or living with a partner cited conflicts about money as their most common reason for arguing. Nearly 60 percent of those said the spat usually stemmed from differing views about “wants” vs. “needs.” Almost 50 percent said they argued about unexpected expenses, and a third fought about not saving enough money.
Financial arguments usually start when household economic conditions are most stressful, said Elizabeth Schmitz.
“You’re not arguing if everything is hunky-dory, money is in great shape and you’re sailing and cruising along,” she said. “The arguments start when the stress comes—when you can’t pay the bills, when one of the two partners bought something extraordinary and didn’t tell the other partner.”
The Schmitzes have seven rules for protecting a marriage in tough economic times:
1. Handle money matters as a team. Instead of dividing financial obligations into “yours” and “mine,” think “our bills, our mortgage, our debt.”
2. Communicate openly about all financial issues. For example, if one person pays all of the bills, he or she needs to update the other at least once a month about where things stand.
3. Agree on a course of action, based on your common goals, for resolving financial setbacks.
4. Don’t play the blame game. When successful couples face financial problems, “they roll up their sleeves and figure out together how to solve them,” Elizabeth said.
5. Don’t wallow in self-pity. “It’s a wasted emotion,” Charles said. “The message you hear from successfully married couples … is that no problem has ever been solved by feeling sorry for yourself or your situation.”
6. Take immediate action to address financial problems. Putting things off—or taking what Elizabeth calls “the Lone Ranger” approach—won’t help.
7. Celebrate whenever you achieve a financial success. That could include paying off a credit card bill or mortgage or reaching a savings goal.
For newlyweds, Elizabeth underscored the need to avoid accumulating too much debt too soon through furnishing a new home, buying a new car or making other big purchases as a couple.
“All of a sudden, the arguments start because they are so far in over their heads they can’t figure out how to get out,” she said.
Communication, both said, is the key to achieving compromise between couples with differing financial goals or money management styles.
“You don’t resolve something by not paying attention to it,” Charles said. “You don’t resolve a disagreement by not talking. If you don’t find common ground on some of these really important financial situations, they are going to draw a wedge between the two of you.”
Northwestern MutualVoice: Are Money Issues Affecting Your Marriage? - Forbes
