• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Arranged marriages losing respect in India?

Status
Not open for further replies.
prasad1

prasad1

Active member
49070305.cms


Oh, it must be an arranged marriage, there's no way any girl would have married him otherwise? How is it possible that you didn't meet anyone in college? I can't even think about my parents looking out for a match for me? I'll certainly have a love marriage, I'm today's woman. You mean to say you'll get married to someone you just met? Well, these are just some of the phrases that we often hear, thanks to the growing hatred towards arranged marriages in urban India.

It wasn't long ago when love marriages faced a similar wrath and were considered a taboo. Finding love on your own and choosing to settle with him/her meant being disrespectful towards your parents and family. However, there's a recent shift towards this trend and while love marriages are gaining popularity, arranged marriages are increasingly looked down upon. No wonder when Bollywood actor Shahid Kapoor decided in favour of an arranged marriage, everyone started speculating the reason behind his move. More than anything else, people questioned the 'need' for an arranged marriage and his 'failure' to find love on his own.
...........................................


What most people fail to realize is that compatibility, love, trust and adjustment pave way for forming the most lasting unions and marital success has little to do with how the alliance was formed. Dr Rajesh Goyal, Consultant Psychiatrist, Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, says, "Marriage is something where you start knitting your life along with the other person and you discover new things about your partner every day. In arranged marriages, you discover these things after getting married, which further add to the mystery and the charm, whereas in love marriages, you already know a lot about your partner." Hence, it is difficult to say whether a love or an arranged marriage is responsible for couples parting ways and which one of the two deserves to be looked down upon.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/...idget&utm_medium=ABtest&utm_campaign=TOInewHP

My marriage was arranged, and I am happy about it even after 36 years. :peace:
 
Last edited:
Out here where I stay other races view arranged marriage differently.

They ask you "you mean to say you could not find anyone or no one wanted you that you had to go in for an arranged marriage?"

People think arranged marriages are for losers!LOL

Frankly speaking I feel arranged marriage is fine too..I do admit I did not know much about my husband when I married him. In fact he himself did not know much about me.

I only saw his house after marriage and not before that.

Some of my friends who had arranged marriages made it a point to visit the house of the groom at least after the engagement to just get an idea about how he lives.

But my parents told me that a girl is not supposed to visit the house of the groom before marriage ..so I did not go.

Anyway who wants to see how a guy lives!LOL..after marriage we would be staying on our own and I would find out sooner or later.


My parents and inlaws both had Inter caste love marriages and they still claim that love marriage couples feel more for each other.

In their cases I feel its true..both my parents and inlaws marriages have a strong bond and they seem devoted to each other.

I still feel its becos they are from a different era...so they seem so devoted.

These days arranged or love marriages there is not much difference..everyone is independent and become mechanical as we age.
 
Last edited:
"These days arranged or love marriages there is not much difference..everyone is independent and quite technical as we age." Super summation of the present status of marriage across continents!
 
Most educated working girls think arranged marriages are crutches which they do not require to choose their spouse.

Also the process of selection in arranged marriage is made so complicated with gothra, horoscope match, financial commitments from girls side , besides wrong

projections of girls inherent qualities , interests etc, most would not like to subject themselves to this exercise.

They would rather date , get into a relationship , know the person to some extent and then only commit. They do not want to get stuck with the wrong type.

They trust their own judgement to parents.If I , as a human being had been born 40-50 years later , I would probably also follow this path for choosing a lifetime mate.

Most girls in metros take this approach. It is best they choose and err than her parents getting into match making and bungling to regret later.
 
Last edited:
Not only are girls getting into marriages thru the dating route , they are also getting out of relationships after a few meetings or after engagement or marriage , if they

find it not to their liking. most assert their rights to a equitable relationship and walk out of abusive or violent relationships . the divorce rates are going up and also the

number of divorced girls for remarriage. the number of divorced girls far outnumber the widows. Brahmin girls constitute a good chunk of divorced girls. most of them

are in late twenties or thirties.It is mostly the girls who sue for divorce and not boys.
 
I still feel its becos they are from a different era...so they seem so devoted.

These days arranged or love marriages there is not much difference..everyone is independent and become mechanical as we age.
Click to expand...

True these days everything is very superficial and lasts only for a short time .
 
hi

now a days...3 types of marriages.....purely arranged marriage....purely love marriage.....love cum arranged marriage...

i prefered 3rd category....
 
Dear tbs garu

Nowadays there are 3 types of marriages:

1)man & woman


2)man & man

3)woman & woman


Which one do you prefer?
 
Hum janam bithake jayenge, tum janam gavake javoge.

Hindi ka gyan jaroori hai.

Hindi mein bolo - aapko dil se ya dimag se bolna chahiye.

Dimag se bolna mushkil hai kyon ki dimag ki jarrorat padthi hai.

Dil sub ke pass hai .
 
Returning to the subject of the thread,

How to make arranged matches a win -win situation for both boy and girl and parents of both ?

There is a strong need to simplify match making .

Minimise requirements of both boy and girl getting married and the parents of either side.

Just both can be give a max of 2-3 minimum requirements to be satisfied. If they can put it down on paper , it will be objective An outsider should match the

requirements and decide on a short list of 2 or 3 for both parties.

I came across an online website which says it does that. But it takes care of only boy and girls requirements.

It should be expanded to take care of parents needs also to be successful'.

In older days there were marriage brokers. now we have only matrimonial portals.

This assumes all are net savvy to capitalise on it and caters only to a particular group.

besides they are interested only in money making . they should cater to the lowest common denominater for them to be successful

Quick meeting of the persons getting married two or three times by themselves and deciding yes or no.

If this can be done in two or three weeks it is best.

IMHO this is easily possible.
 
Last edited:
krish44 said:
Hum janam bithake jayenge, tum janam gavake javoge.

Hindi ka gyan jaroori hai.

Hindi mein bolo - aapko dil se ya dimag se bolna chahiye.

Dimag se bolna mushkil hai kyon ki dimag ki jarrorat padthi hai.

Dil sub ke pass hai .
Click to expand...



Your trying to hide behind Hindi text all of a sudden shows you have no guts to face the ire.

Why such an apprehension against a member?

What prevents you coming out directly for an argument in a common language?

There is more which I can presume that trying to hide behind Hindi text especially in a conventional conversation is an unbecoming act.

And you are the only member who adopt such poor standard strategy and prone to overstep the decency in such an open Forum thus exhibiting your mentality.

As for me dealing with such members who consider themselves as timid hearted are worthless to deal with.

In fact such exercise of dealing with them is nothing but a waste of time and energy.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Share this page

Latest posts

Latest ads

Follow us on Social Media

Back
Top