Badly need your advise

[Aravind Somasundaram]

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Hi all,
I badly need an advise on an issue i am facing, hope you all know about the spiritual tour "Srimad Bhagavata Krishna Anubhava Yatra organized by Velukkudi Sri.U.Ve. Krishnan Swamy", my mother wants to participate in this tour, the problem is, recently my grandpa ( My father's father) had expired and what i want to know is, as my father is the first son and is it mandatory that my mother should not participate in this spiritual tour. I know that my father should not participate in such yatras for atleast one year, Please advise.

 

[sangom]

Shri Somasundaram,

This yatra is a farce, IMHO, to increase the popularity of velukkudi krishnan (he is already being denoted as velukkudi krishnan swamigal ). There is, therefore, no need to consider it as a holy pilgrimage or anything like that and so even your father can take part in it, (it is just an excursion) provided you have enough money to blow off in the (imaginary) effort to acquire punyam! But whether the God of your concept - whoever it be - will be pleased with such antics is a matter for your unbiased consideration.

Arunagirinathar says in one Thiruppukazh - காவியுடுத்தும் தாழ்சடைவைத்தும் காசினி முற்றும் திரியாதே........ ஞான தீப விளக்கம் காண எனக்குன் சீதள பத்மம் தருவாயே.

 

[kunjuppu]

aravind,

you might want to heed sangom. i respect sangom's caution, and second it.

only because, i have seen numerous ladies, abndon their families midway. age does not appear make a difference in these things. your mother's place is next to her husband, and not next to some pseudo swami. one recent convert to a cult, is a young girl, who quit her medical studies, and went into a swami ashram. the irony of it, is that that mother was a devotee of the swami, and encouraged the daughter. by the time, the mother realized what was happening to the daughter, it was too late.

watch out!!

 

[tks]

Hi all,
I badly need an advise on an issue i am facing, hope you all know about the spiritual tour "Srimad Bhagavata Krishna Anubhava Yatra organized by Velukkudi Sri.U.Ve. Krishnan Swamy", my mother wants to participate in this tour, the problem is, recently my grandpa ( My father's father) had expired and what i want to know is, as my father is the first son and is it mandatory that my mother should not participate in this spiritual tour. I know that my father should not participate in such yatras for atleast one year, Please advise.

Sri Somasundaram - Not sure what kind of suggestions you are looking for. If you need interpretation as per your religious traditions then you have to ask those that practice such traditions. But if you are asking for suggestions based on how to best interpret any of our traditions I can offer some principles that you may find useful.

1. Your mother need not be home just for your father to do all the Karmas for his father. It may be desirable for moral support but not necessary. If both exhibit shraddha in their own way regardless of where they are that is all that matters.

2. This travel expedition is just that as Sri Sangom explained. However I would add that if this 'Yatra' gives a sense of peace to your mother and the have the money to spare why stop her wishes. I think it is cruel to deny what people want to do for their mental peace because of some traditions or what we think is the value they are likely to derive from this. The person leading the this 'Yatra' may or may not be a great person but what matters is your affordability and if your mother is likely to derive personal benefit from such a trip.

3. Let me give you my opinion on another item. While it is useful for your father to follow the traditions regarding doing all the Karmas such as Masyam etc if he truly wants to accompany your mother in this trip ("Yatra") why not? He can do these Karmas by fasting on those days due to his Shraddha and be back to do the year end Karmas. This is only if he wants to go

Bottomline: Let your mother go on this trip and do not deny her peace of mind due to some traditions assuming you can afford this trip and there are no other negative consequences

Hope this helps ...

 

[Raji Ram]

Hello Aravind,

I do not know how far your family follows our traditions. Now a days we take pride in NOT

following our culture and traditions!

FYI, I put your query to our family friend Manjakkudi Krishnan sasthrigaL, and he said that

according to sAsthrAs, your parents are not supposed to take any pilgrimage for one year

after the demise of your grandfather. The visit to local temples are allowed but no archanai

can be performed. And no hill temples and kula dhaivam to be visited in that period.

Best wishes,
Raji Ram

 

[tks]

Hello Aravind,

I do not know how far your family follows our traditions. Now a days we take pride in NOT

following our culture and traditions!

FYI, I put your query to our family friend Manjakkudi Krishnan sasthrigaL, and he said that

according to sAsthrAs, your parents are not supposed to take any pilgrimage for one year

after the demise of your grandfather. The visit to local temples are allowed but no archanai

can be performed. And no hill temples and kula dhaivam to be visited in that period.

Best wishes,
Raji Ram

Smt Raji Ram -

If you happen to talk to your family friend Sastrigal could you kindly ask him the significance behind this directive? I think people are likely to follow traditions if reasons behind a directive can be appreciated .. Thanks

 

[sangom]

Smt Raji Ram -

If you happen to talk to your family friend Sastrigal could you kindly ask him the significance behind this directive? I think people are likely to follow traditions if reasons behind a directive can be appreciated .. Thanks

Shri tks,

As per sastras and also tradition generally followed by tabras, the soul of the dead person becomes a "pitru" only after one year, when the Sapindeekarana is to be done. Till then it is in the form of "preta" and so the entire immediate family - sons and sons' families especially, because we follow the patrilineal rule - are said to be under gruhaseetakam (house-based pollution or impurity) and one is not supposed to perform any pilgrimage, visit to temples (some say only such temples as have a dhvajasthambham need be avoided), special poojas like rudraikaadasinee, santhis like shashtiabdapoorthy, and so on.

The house pollution is believed to be wiped off after the "aabdeekam" and the gruhayajnam attached to that.

 

[tks]

Shri tks,

As per sastras and also tradition generally followed by tabras, the soul of the dead person becomes a "pitru" only after one year, when the Sapindeekarana is to be done. Till then it is in the form of "preta" and so the entire immediate family - sons and sons' families especially, because we follow the patrilineal rule - are said to be under gruhaseetakam (house-based pollution or impurity) and one is not supposed to perform any pilgrimage, visit to temples (some say only such temples as have a dhvajasthambham need be avoided), special poojas like rudraikaadasinee, santhis like shashtiabdapoorthy, and so on.

The house pollution is believed to be wiped off after the "aabdeekam" and the gruhayajnam attached to that.

Thanks for the explanation. However 12th day (because the Kartha may not live a full year) there is a practice to do an abbreviated version of Sapindeekaranam. On the 13th day a Griha Yagnam is done as well. Also if there is a wedding of a daughter is arranged that is also allowed to take place within a year in the tradition. In fact after the 11th day Preta is treated as Pitru though it may take a day of that Pitru to reach the Pitruloka which is equivalent to one year of Karmas for us. With a duty of doing one year of Karmas (Masyam etc) there is a prescription to not visit temples etc so that the focus is not lost.

13th day Gruha Yagnam may not make sense otherwise

I can be corrected !

Regards

 

[Raji Ram]

Smt Raji Ram -

If you happen to talk to your family friend Sastrigal could you kindly ask him the significance behind this directive? I think people are likely to follow traditions if reasons behind a directive can be appreciated .. Thanks

Dear Sir,

Our sasthrigaL told the same explanation that Sri. Sangom has given in his post. He also told

that visits to temples could be done, IF the person happens to attend some wedding in the

same temple premises, but NO archanai to be performed. One day in pitru world is one year

for us and hence we perform the annual sradhdham, to feed them everyday. Even for

'Kaaradaiyaan nonbu' and 'Varalakshmi nonbu', that year, fruits can be offered as neyvedhyam

and no need for special dishes.

Regards,
Raji Ram

 

[sangom]

Thanks for the explanation. However 12th day (because the Kartha may not live a full year) there is a practice to do an abbreviated version of Sapindeekaranam. On the 13th day a Griha Yagnam is done as well. Also if there is a wedding of a daughter is arranged that is also allowed to take place within a year in the tradition. In fact after the 11th day Preta is treated as Pitru though it may take a day of that Pitru to reach the Pitruloka which is equivalent to one year of Karmas for us. With a duty of doing one year of Karmas (Masyam etc) there is a prescription to not visit temples etc so that the focus is not lost.

13th day Gruha Yagnam may not make sense otherwise

I can be corrected !

Regards

Shri tks,

These are all beliefs and so no logical proof or support may be possible. As I have written more than once in this forum, the sapindeekaranam on the 12 th. day of demise is like "advance booking" and the "sodakumbham" is in fact influencing the members of the jury for changing impartial verdict and hence, in the nature of "bribe".

The 13th. day grahayajnam is done to cleanse the house of all impurities associated with death, the worship of "preta" and even the repeated pronouncing of the "preta bhoota", "pretaroopa", etc. It allows , IMLimited O, the marriage of only the son who is karta - within one year; marriage of younger son/s and daughters are not held.

The belief seems to be that the pollution attaches to the family for one year and undertaking the prohibited activities will be harmful because of the pollution.

I shall be glad to hear differing views.

 

[T R RAMAMURTHY]

I wish to make a point with regard to observation of Mr Sangom. I think it is a practice among vaishnavas to refer to educated persons as "Swamigal" and it does not make them a "swami" in the way in which we smarthas understand (Sanyasi, monk etc.)but it is a matter of address for the vaishnavas . IMHO, Velukkudy is a scholar deserving such address. I am not making any other comment with regard to the tour or the eligibility or otherwise of the persons taking the trip. Even Velukkudy makes mention of others as Swami in the same way which I have heard in his pravachanams. Like we say Sastrigal.