Can i marry a girl who is 3 months older than me

[sri_3464]

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Hi,

I am 26 yrs old and i am in love with a girl who is 3 months(just 3 months and not 3 years) older than me. SO my parents are not accepting as by vedam this is wrong and should not do the marriage.
Can anyone please let me know is it really wrong or offense against the vedas law?

 

[KRS]

Dear sri_3464 Ji,
Just on curiosity, please ask your parents which 'Vedam' exactly prohibits this marriage and where? You are going to find out that there is no 'vedam' prohibiting this alliance! It is they, who are prohibiting, I suspect, mainly because of fear what their relatives and friends would think / say about this. There is no bar either in our 'Vedams' or based on modern science to forbid this marriage.

Regards,
KRS

Hi,

I am 26 yrs old and i am in love with a girl who is 3 months(just 3 months and not 3 years) older than me. SO my parents are not accepting as by vedam this is wrong and should not do the marriage.
Can anyone please let me know is it really wrong or offense against the vedas law?

 

[sri_3464]

Hello KRS,

i am following yejur vedam.. My father says though he likes the gal's character whom i love he says by vedam and 'sasthram' this is a sin. I told him like there is nothing like that. Elders says marrying a girl older than you wont work out as she may be more matured than you. But in my case its not like that. That too with 3 months difference what big maturity she gonna have than me. Its all our mind set. But then i just want to confirm is there really anything written in vedam about this.

 

[sangom]

Hello KRS,

i am following yejur vedam.. My father says though he likes the gal's character whom i love he says by vedam and 'sasthram' this is a sin. I told him like there is nothing like that. Elders says marrying a girl older than you wont work out as she may be more matured than you. But in my case its not like that. That too with 3 months difference what big maturity she gonna have than me. Its all our mind set. But then i just want to confirm is there really anything written in vedam about this.

Sri,

There is nothing in yajurvedam as such saying that a girl should not be older than the boy. But our tradition of some centuries past decreed that a girl should be given in marriage before she attained puberty and the brahmin boy had to have completed his "vedaadhyayanam" and "samaavartanam" which made him at least near about 20 years. But even your own elders are now not insisting that you are given upanayanam at the age of 7, learn veda/s for 12 years in a gurukulam and after the guru feels your learning is complete, "samaavartanam" is done. When your parents could deviate from our Saastras in all these matters, insisting only on a girl who is older than you, is not commonsense. I know a few cases of TB couples where the girl is older than the husband and they are well into their late middle age with children and are leading happy married lives. Probably, the wives in these cases may not celebrate their "Shashtipoorthy" on the exact due dates and may postpone it to a convenient later date so that the age difference, which is not known publicly, is not tom-tommed.

 

[Raghy]

Hi,

I am 26 yrs old and i am in love with a girl who is 3 months(just 3 months and not 3 years) older than me. SO my parents are not accepting as by vedam this is wrong and should not do the marriage.
Can anyone please let me know is it really wrong or offense against the vedas law?

Greetings. I heard Sri.Ramachandran (Vishnu's Avataar) was younger than Sita by about 1 year. I don't have proof though. I leave it to the scholars.

The fammous batsman Sachin Tendulkar is younger than his wife. Mr.M.K.Gandhi was younger than his wife. This may be an excuse to oppose 'love marriage', in my opinion. Sometimes it is better not to tell the truth. After all, one may lie up to even 1,000 times to progress a marriage.

cheers!

 

[pannvalan]

Mr 3464,

While reading your words "Just 3 months and not 3 years", it appears you have already decided the issue yourself.

 

[kunjuppu]

ssri,

if it is only age that gives you a hangup, get rid of the hangup and not the girl. you should be proud to marry a woman older than you. probably wiser and mature than you, and hence a good guide, partner and friend, all in one. best wishes.

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

Mr 3464,

While reading your words "Just 3 months and not 3 years", it appears you have already decided the issue yourself.

Sri_3464

I concur with Sri Pannvalan,

If you had already taken a decision that way, I ratify the same , and put my weight by you in support. Show this to your parents,and they will get convinced( at least they will get an escape route to help you without getting blame from others.

Best Wishes& Greetings

 

[girishsai]

Per Sastras, man should be atleast one day older than woman. Double check this with a guru or a scholar.
There are a few rational reasons behind this which they will be to explain you in detail. Good luck.

 

[aramakrishnan1]

I suggest you perform Sandhya Vandhanam for 5 days and medidate Gayatri Jabam 108 times during each Sandhya. On the 6th day, your conscience would guide you in the most appropriate path.

 

[pannvalan]

Girishsai,

This topic was discussed threadbare long back.

 

[AnanthaNarayanan]

girls are verymuch dear now a days.and more over people are marring taller girls too. opp to my house one mama got taller mami than him ,there son is still taller...
when get introduced to a girl one will not think all these, why now. leave it ...go with your mind.

wish u both a happy married life