I wrote this several years back based on an incident at home
"No.. pa…" - she was very firm in her negation of my argument. "They have been bursting crackers for the last 4 days continuously in swetha's house. If we burst even few crackers today, we won't have it for tomorrow. And tomorrow is deepavali. So I have to save all the crackers for tomorrow".
It was the evening of the day before deepavali.
"But dear, I have bought you crackers for Rs.1100. What more do u want..?" - I asked.
"That is shared between myself and my brother. Hence I may not get anything.." - she insisted.
"He is just 6 years old and may not actively burst all the crackers u have got. In any case, I will buy u more also, if u really want it that way." - I said.
"No.. No.. U will buy.. But u will start advising me on the value of money and how I don’t understand the plight of poor people etc.." - she said. "U will start advising me on how this money would have been more valuable for an orphanage and I just can't bear that.."
"That is for sure.." - I said. "While I will get u what u desire, it is my responsibility to advise you on the right path. U have to control yourself and hence I will advise you definitely"
****
Again crackers started bursting in swetha's house. Swetha is my daughter's friend, who lives in the house opposite to us. While ours is an apartment, swetha lived in an independent bungalow, which was situated opposite to our apartments. Theirs was definitely a more resourceful family. And they have been celebrating deepavali for a week now, with various lightings and crackers.
In these days, there are two dimensions of this city life. One is the resourcefulness and another is the willingness to spend. It may not be impossible to spend a thousand more on crackers and lightings for a family like us, but it is the willingness to spend. Having been brought up in a lower middle-class environment, I value money very much. I wouldn't like to waste it, just like that.
My next generation does not share this. They compare themselves with people in the higher rungs of the society and point out their misfortunes of being what they are. Contentment is something that has become dear to these young kids. They are simply not satisfied.
In any case I don't let my ideas cross in my daughter's way. I get her what she desires. But, I definitely give her a piece of my mind, on how I think it should have been. This is just to expose her to the world around her and ensure that she sees also my point of view. My thinking is, it would help her in the long run.
***
"No.. pa.. I am not satisfied.." - she said.
Her face became very dull.
"Dear.. Let us go down with our cracker bag, burst whatever u could do today.. If crackers get exhausted, I will definitely get u new ones tomorrow" - I said.
"But u promise that U will not start advising me afterwards." - she said. "I don't want to hear your lectures"
I could not let her get disappointed on the eve of this occasion. I said "Okay.. it is a deal.. I promise, I will get u what u want and I will not open my mouth to u after that.."
***
We started bursting crackers. Suddenly there appeared two kids on our gate. They were from the nearby slum.
Our street is very unique. It is at the heart of a high-valued area, with bungalows, apartments, but it is also the home to a slum colony in one of its small lanes. About 30+ families lived in that place, who were primarily flower vendors or working as servants in bungalows and apartments.
These two kids were eagerly, passionately looking at us, as we were bursting the crackers. Their lips did not say anything. Their eyes told a lot of things. It could be sorrow; it could be desire; It could be anything.
I did not say anything, even though I wanted to say lot of things to my daughter. I kept quite as I was afraid of making her angry again.
My daughter took one cracker and gave it to one of them and asked that child to light up that cracker.
Suddenly there was a rush of joy in that child's face. All the dark clouds had suddenly vanished and there was a sunlight, in the face of that child. The child extended her tender hands happily and got hold of the incense stick that we used to light up the crackers.
The child lighted the cracker up and when it burst, what I saw in that face was much more than the feelings of happiness or pleasure. It was a feeling of satisfaction. Contentment of a life time achievement. Needless to say, my daughter asked the other child also to light up another cracker.
Afterwards we lost count of who burst what. My daughter and son shared whatever they had with the kids who were there and we all had a fun of a time. We all burst crackers to the excitement of everybody in that place.
Who lit the cracker was no longer an issue. Since all crackers were lit one by one, crackers did not get exhausted fast, even though many kids burst them.
By the time, we stopped it, we had exhausted most of the crackers on the day before deepavali itself.
**
I prepared myself mentally to buy more crackers. Probably, I have to spend a thousand more. More than the money, it is convincing myself to spend that money without getting angry or agitated at my daughter, which was a difficult task.
So when we came back to our flat late in the night, I asked my daughter, about what to buy for next day.
She said "Why pa.. Why do u want to buy more..?"
"But we don’t have much crackers left in the house. It could last only for an hour or so tomorrow. So let me buy something." - I said.
"No pa.." - she said "It is true that I wanted to buy more crackers. But I don’t know.. I am satisfied. I don’t think we need more. I feel as if I had had it enough. It is as if, I have saturated."
***
Actually I did not have to buy more crackers at all, that deepavali. I started wondering what happened, that made my daughter so contended that it left her totally saturated and fulfilled.
Is it because she saw those poor kids, which made her realize that she is in a better position in life? I don’t think so. She bumps into so many poor and unfortunate kids in every step in this society.
I could identify only one thing, after a lot of thinking. Today she shared her crackers without worrying about it being small or large with those kids and we had a good time together.
I think in general, how much ever we demand more and more, get more and more, it would not make us happy to the point of satisfaction, to the point of contentment.
The moment we start sharing our joys with others, however little it looks, the joy of sharing, the joy of seeing the
joy in other's face, learning to enjoy the happiness of others, truly makes us happy to the point of satisfaction and contentment.
Probably this is what gave her the contentment and saturation.
-TBT
