Father's Day - Remembering our Parents/Ancestors. Shraddham

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

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Today is Fathers Day. Most of us are aware of it because of the advertisement mail we get. But in India there is no mention of this in the press or TV.

When Valentine's day has become so popular how come we have not taken to Father's day and Mother's day?

There have been many threads about Shraddham in this forum. But Shraddham is when the parents are dead. What about the time when they are alive? Since the parents were staying with the children in old days may be a particular day was not set aside for the parents. But this is no longer true.

Everyone loves to be surprised with gifts. When was the last time you bought a gift for your father and mother? A surprise and unexpected Gift?

We are all concentrating more on the ritual aspect of Shraddham.

Shraddham is one of the ways by which we remember our parents and ancestors and pay our respects to them. Thank them.

But Shraddham will be effective only if one has treated the parents well during their life time.

Why not surprise your father by greeting him today and also send him a Gift? Something which he may not buy otherwise. Like a Kindle for a voracious reader.

Unfortunately we tend to ape the Americans mostly in the bad aspects. Not the good ones.

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

But in India there is no mention of this in the press or TV.

There was a supplementary with Fathers Day wishes in one of the newspaper I read...Nowadays nobody leaves a good business opportunity.

When Valentine's day has become so popular how come we have not taken to Father's day and Mother's day?

Personally speaking I consider all these as business blitz by clever business houses ..There may still be more ...Days if it can cater to the busines .. Ultimately there may be a special business calendar with 700 days ..or thousand days...OR they may divide each day into many sub days...!!!???

There have been many threads about Shraddham in this forum. But Shraddham is when the parents are dead. What about the time when they are alive? Since the parents were staying with the children in old days may be a particular day was not set aside for the parents. But this is no longer true.

Still, does it become so unimportant that there should be an outside reminder to make one remember about your own father who is not still alive..(or for that matter mother also..).Or it being just a schedule on your desk application..? One does not need a reminder day for Wedding day, own birthday(bash)..birthday for the puppies...

I do not understand whether one's brother, sister, uncle etc are less important ..why not a day for them ...?

Everyone loves to be surprised with gifts. When was the last time you bought a gift for your father and mother? A surprise and unexpected Gift?

So it all ends up into that...Gift...Bigger and better gift means more love and affection..? If there are two children, and one is not able (not capable ) to give gifts does it mean this child does not love father/mother..? That is why I say it is a businessman's idea..to sell his wares...

We are all concentrating more on the ritual aspect of Shraddham.

Shradham (annual or periodical obsequious rituals for the departed ancestor)is being performed by all religion and communities , each call it in different way , and perform in their own ways.... In fact remembering the ancestor after his/her death...and symbolically performing some ritual or prayer in whatever way, when the performer is sure that his ancestor is not there to see it, and there is nothing the ancestor can do now to benefit him---(except if some heritage is left with conditions..) ..this is rally great...may be out of repenting, may be out of gratitude....
Why can't a small action e done every day for the living parents..? Whenever one is in shock or unexpected danger, naturally comes the yell(call) to his /her mother in one's own mother tongue...so it is inbuilt..but deliberately one forgets...

Shraddham is one of the ways by which we remember our parents and ancestors and pay our respects to them. Thank them.
But Shraddham will be effective only if one has treated the parents well during their life time.

I do not think so...Respect and taking good care when they are living is necessary.... But similarly remembering them after their death ( you may call it sradham ...if need be..) is also necessary..They are not mutually exclusive..

I pray Let no one have the ill fate of necessity of an outside reminder to remember about one's parents...

Let parents live with us when they are live ( as far as possible..) and let us remember everyday our parents even after their death...and do something to keep alive their memory ever...so that the next generation also imbibes it..


Greetings

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Wishing the awesome fathers / grandfathers /

great grandfathers of The Forum

A very happy father's day!

:flame:

Have a wonderful day today! :hungry:

 

[renuka]

Somehow I dont really believe in Fathers day,Mothers days and neither do I wish my parents on these days.They themselves do not believe in this types of celebrations.
We Hindus have our own Mata,Pita,Guru,Daivam upbringing which is deeply embedded in us to love all the above mention of daily basis and the greatest gift is being there for them always.

Mother's day has non hindu origins being the second sunday after Easter in the month of May. I used to wonder if Mother's day had Hindu origins for example one of the Navaratri days.. would the world be celebrating it like how Mothers day is celebrated these days? Just a thought.

 

[valli]

Dear Shri Nacchinarkkiniyan

Greetings!

Today is Fathers Day. Most of us are aware of it because of the advertisement mail we get. But in India there is no mention of this in the press or TV.

Just wanted to share something. Father's Day is not celebrated on the same day all over the world. In Australia and NewZealand Father's Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of September every year!

Kind Regards

 

[kunjuppu]

nacchi,

i am with you in spirit. if we do not have the practise, i think, it is good, to atleast treat dad special this one day.

take him out for a dinner and buy him something, that he wants, but would never spend money of his own.

people say that the world is getting commercialized, but there is also benefit in such process. it gives jobs to people, and in a somewhat oblique way reminds us, on certain days, of certain obligations.

ofcourse, i find, even among my friends here or in india, sometimes, i get strange answers for not 'celebrating' fathers or mothers day.

most of it appear to be that these are not in our 'tradition', or that we already do 'more' or some such sort. i view it, as any excuse NOT to celebrate it, is my view. eh eh!

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

I happened to hit on the following poem in a blog..It was actually put in the blog in 2007, and claimed by the writer to have published a couple of years earlier . But as stil has relevance ,I thought to copy it here..

QUOTE:



அப்பாவுக்கு அப்பாவாக !

இருபதை கடந்த இளைஞனாய் இருந்த நான்
இல்லறம்கான திருமணம் செய்து வாழ்தினாய் நீ !
இனிய இல்லறம் நடத்திய உனக்கு
இன்னொரு அறுபதாம் திருமணம் செய்து வாழ்துப் பெற்றேன் நான் !
நடந்த என்கால்கள் மிதிவண்டி பழக
மிதிவண்டி வாங்கி வந்தாய் நீ !
நடந்த உன்கால்கள் தடுக்கி விழாமல் இருக்க
ஊன்றுகோல் வாங்கி வந்தேன் நான் !

தேழனாய் மாறி பாலன் என்னுடன்
பம்பரம், கோலி விளையாடி மகிழ்ந்தாய் நீ !
தோழனாய் மாறி பழுத்த உன்னுடன்
பரமபதம், சோளி விளையாடி மகிழ்ந்தேன் நான் !

திருவிழாக்களுக்கும், கடைவீதிகளுக்கும்
அன்பாக தூக்கி சென்றாய் நீ !
திருக்கோவில்களுக்கும், கடற்கரைகளுக்கும்
அன்பாக அழைத்து சென்றேன் நான் !

அருகிலிருந்து அக்கறையாய் எனக்கு
அரிச்சுவடி சொல்லி கொடுத்தாய் நீ !
அருகிலிருந்து ஆர்வத்துடன் உனக்கு
அன்றாட செய்திகளை வாசித்தேன் நான் !

யானையாய் மாறி என்னை இடம் வலமாய்
தூக்கி சுமந்தது மகிழ்த்து, மகிழ்ந்தாய் நீ !
பூனையாய் மாறி உன்னை அங்கும் இங்கும்
தூக்கி அறைகுள் இடம் மாற்றி நெகிழ்ந்தேன் நான் !

தவழ்ந்தது போதும் என்று
தள்ளாடி தள்ளாடி எழுந்த நான்
தடுக்கி விழாமல் நடை பழக
தள்ளும் நடைவண்டி வாங்கினாய் நீ !

தளர்ந்ததால் உன் நடை
தள்ளாடி தள்ளாடி
தவழவும் நிலைக்கு வந்த போது
தள்ளும் சற்கர நாற்காலி வாங்கினேன் நான்!

எனக்கொரு குழந்தையாய் மாறினாய் நீ !
உனக்கொரு தந்தையாய் மாறிப் போனேன் நான் !

கருவறைவிட்டு வந்த என்னை,
ஆனந்த கண்ணீருடன், நெகிழ்ந்த இதயத்துடன்
கைகளில் ஏந்தி சென்றாய் நீ !

கல்லறைக்குள் விட்டு செல்ல உன்னை,
ஆ(ற்)றாத கண்ணீருடன், கனத்த இதயத்துடன்
தோள்களில் தூக்கி செல்கிறேன் நான் !

அன்புடன்
கோவி.கண்ணன்

link:காலம் - எண்ணக் கவி'தைகள்' (கோவி.கண்ணன்)

 

[Iyyarooraan]

You said it. But we want to ape the West in all. Why not in this too. Further the kids and new settlers there have to do what others do there. Assimilation of that culture dissolving our own! I am afraid nobody can stop the changes. Each unto his own!

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

I see that the keeping the tradition alive squad is in full force.

I will ask them only one question?

Which tradition is that you are talking about when you talk about the parents staying with you. Is it Hindu or Indian? It is neither. The sons stayed in the house of the parents in the Indian/Hindu tradition. The eldest member of the family was the head of the household. The father or sometimes the Grand father.

Now to suit your convenience you want your parents to come and stay with you where the father will not be the head of the household.

When my grandfather left my village about 150 years back to get his law degree in Madras, his father advised him not to go, but stay back in the village and look after the paddy fields and other property. But my grandfather left. But my grandfather did not expect his father to come and stay with him. This did not happen in my father's generation also. The parents stayed in the village in their own house. Things started changing with my generation and now the present generation talks about the parents staying with them as if it is a tradition.

Tradition my foot.

You will not send birth day cards to your parents as it is a Western tradition. You should be ashamed that you do not remember the birthday of your parents who conducted Ayush Homams on your birth day every year. Oh!

Dipavali sales, Akshaya Thrithiya sale, Pongal sale and what not every day. Have we stopped celebrating Pongal and Dipavali because of that.

The gross neglect of parents by the children in India is well known. Because of the pressure from old age associations and social activists the government enacted a law which enables a parent to sue the son for maintenance. But very few cases s0 far because the parents still love their children.

I have never criticized the younger generation in this forum. I can write a lot from my actual experience with older people. But then you provoke me.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Yes. Father's day is about Gifts. Were you not happy when you got a new dress for Divali? What is Divali if we do not buy a new dress. Our community believes in Cheer at the drop of a hat. Even going to the extent of expecting a father in law to give a gold ring to the son in law when his father dies.

There is a lot of pleasure in giving. Parents are always giving gifts to children. Find the joys of giving Gifts to your loved ones. Or is it restricted only to the wife and children? Think.

 

[Brahmanyan]

I see that the keeping the tradition alive squad is in full force.

I will ask them only one question?

Which tradition is that you are talking about when you talk about the parents staying with you. Is it Hindu or Indian? It is neither. The sons stayed in the house of the parents in the Indian/Hindu tradition. The eldest member of the family was the head of the household. The father or sometimes the Grand father.

Now to suit your convenience you want your parents to come and stay with you where the father will not be the head of the household.

When my grandfather left my village about 150 years back to get his law degree in Madras, his father advised him not to go, but stay back in the village and look after the paddy fields and other property. But my grandfather left. But my grandfather did not expect his father to come and stay with him. This did not happen in my father's generation also. The parents stayed in the village in their own house. Things started changing with my generation and now the present generation talks about the parents staying with them as if it is a tradition.

Tradition my foot.

You will not send birth day cards to your parents as it is a Western tradition. You should be ashamed that you do not remember the birthday of your parents who conducted Ayush Homams on your birth day every year. Oh!

Dipavali sales, Akshaya Thrithiya sale, Pongal sale and what not every day. Have we stopped celebrating Pongal and Dipavali because of that.

The gross neglect of parents by the children in India is well known. Because of the pressure from old age associations and social activists the government enacted a law which enables a parent to sue the son for maintenance. But very few cases s0 far because the parents still love their children.

I have never criticized the younger generation in this forum. I can write a lot from my actual experience with older people. But then you provoke me.

Dear Sri Nacchinarkiniyan,

Strong words, but I am with you in exposing the truth. In today's world I find many of the aged parents who would like to follow "tradition" are like "Trisanku", neither here not there. Among the families whom I know, in most cases, they are lured by the temporary attractions of foreign Countries and being "used" and sent back once their shelf life is over. I do not understand the logic of eulogising benefits of old age home.

Regards,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

I happened to hit on the following poem in a blog..It was actually put in the blog in 2007, and claimed by the writer to have published a couple of years earlier . But as stil has relevance ,I thought to copy it here..

QUOTE:அப்பாவுக்கு அப்பாவாக !
......................

Good thoughtful poem!

But why so many spell errors? :typing: