Going dutch, the secret to a happy new-age marriage

[prasad1]

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The traditional view across India is that a husband must ‘provide’ his wife and children with everything that money can buy and make them ‘secure’ even after he is dead. Is this true today with women earning equally well? Ample money is no longer the only secret of a happy marriage! Women today expect much better.

Marriage is no longer a security nest for women. It is an equal institution where women want more than just money.

So what do the women of today expect?

* Respect and dignity at all times
* Expressive love
* Sharing responsibilities
* Respect for each other’s families
* Inclusive future planning
* Equal parenting
* Ample attention

Deccan_Herald Vimla Patil

Sorry Mr. TBS this is not my original thinking, it is inspired by the article I have referenced. You must be disappointed that it is a cut and paste though not from TOI. LOL

 

[sangom]

The traditional view across India is that a husband must ‘provide’ his wife and children with everything that money can buy and make them ‘secure’ even after he is dead. Is this true today with women earning equally well? Ample money is no longer the only secret of a happy marriage! Women today expect much better.

Marriage is no longer a security nest for women. It is an equal institution where women want more than just money.

So what do the women of today expect?

* Respect and dignity at all times
* Expressive love
* Sharing responsibilities
* Respect for each other’s families
* Inclusive future planning
* Equal parenting
* Ample attention

Deccan_Herald Vimla Patil

Sorry Mr. TBS this is not my original thinking, it is inspired by the article I have referenced. You must be disappointed that it is a cut and paste though not from TOI. LOL

Regarding * Respect for each other’s families, here's a sample:

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The family members of the boy are fondly

nicknamed as Rahoo, Ketu, Guligan, Kaalasarpam etc! :shocked:

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Sangom Sir,

Nice pudhu kavithai!! But Prasad Sir will need the translation!

Hope you will do it.

 

[renuka]

* Respect and dignity at all times
* Expressive love
* Sharing responsibilities
* Respect for each other’s families
* Inclusive future planning
* Equal parenting
* Ample attention

*Respect and dignity at all times..its kind of subjective and depending to the situation cos sometimes when we are mad with our spouse but we might not show them we are angry..but the moment he/she turns their back we might show them our middle finger!(so never have a CCTV at home..in case our spouse checks the recording!LOL)


*Expressive Love....well this is fine...who does not like to hear ....I Sayang You.(Sayang is a malay word for love sans lust)

*Sharing responsibilities...yes this is important for marriage..I just did my share of my housework today and my husband will do his share right after he comes back from Voting today in the general elections.(I don't believe in voting..thats why I am here typing in forum)

*Respect for each others family...after years of marriage I feel its much better for both husband and wife to be a comfortable distance away from both parents and in laws...cos if our parents are too near they will start nagging us to and try to give their opinion on things..same goes with in laws..if too near it will be a problem..so its only fair both husband and wife try to pay equal attention to both inlaws and parents without getting too close for comfort.

*Inclusive Future Planning...somehow its better to live by the day and save and invest a comfortable amount form future and sail through life...worrying too much of the future is no use.
Just live moderately and nothing can go wrong..having too much expectations will only add anxiety.

*Equal parenting..at times of need like sick and old in law or parents..we need to pay them to attention.
If there is single in law who might be lonely...try to get him/her a good partner to share thoughts.
Somehow we Indians never think of emotional needs of elderly...some emotions can only be given by a partner and not children.

*Ample Attention...no one can stand 24/7 ample attention..we need our own breathing space too.
It will be good that at times husband and wife could take separate holidays..sometimes we need time and personal space to connect with our own self...after all our very life is our own journey.

 

[sangom]

Dear Sangom Sir,

Nice pudhu kavithai!! But Prasad Sir will need the translation!

Hope you will do it.

Smt. RR,

This is a joke from Mangaiyar Malar. Does it satisfy the requirements of "pudu Kavithai" in Tamil also? Surprising!

The translation would have been better if done by a person of your calibre. But I cannot expect you to do my job; so here goes my free translation:
Mother-in-law (to be)'s demands:

• the girl should be good-looking
• she should be well-to-do
• should be an educated girl
• must be able to do all household jobs

But daughter-in-law's demand is only one

• mother-in-law must be only in the photo!!

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... This is a joke from Mangaiyar Malar. Does it satisfy the requirements of "pudu Kavithai" in Tamil also? Surprising!
.......

Dear Sangom Sir,

The ending 'இருக்கணும்' might make it a 'pudhu kavithai'!

 

[Raji Ram]

I wonder why there are not many responses here!

Times are changing and the society also has to change the outlook.

Girls in the older generations were not educated much and even the educated ones were not allowed to work

after the wedding. With the price of stuffs raising sky high, it has become a necessity for both the husband and

wife to work and earn. So, the wedding plans have to change:

1. Wedding should be conducted with 50% sharing by the families of the bride and groom.

2. All gifts should be in cash to the newly weds so that they can purchase what they want!

3. A guys should not have any ego problem if his wife earns a better salary.

4. A woman should treat her husband with as much care as she expects from him even if she earns more!

5. The couple should share the expenses of their family and financially help the parents if needed. :grouphug:

 

[renuka]

1. Wedding should be conducted with 50% sharing by the families of the bride and groom.

Dear RR ji,


Out here in Msia the grooms side pays for the wedding expenses fully and buy gold, jewelery and saree for the bride and also buy clothes for the bride's parents and bride's brother and alsoa gold ring for the bride's brother.

Girls side pays for the engagement expenses fully.

So that means the grooms side ends up spending more than the girls side cos wedding is more expensive than an engagement and these days all girls want expensive pre wedding photo shoot by professional photographers where they have to wear different costumes and pose.

I find that a total waste of money and who wants to spend hours in a photo studio wearing clothes that so many others have worn in the studio!

So its cheaper to have daughters out here in Malaysia...those with sons will have to spend more.