Government to rename SBI as Swiss Bank of India!_The Unreal TOI

[sangom]

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The Government has been coming under pressure from across the board on details of people who have stored black money in foreign banks. While Swiss banks have caught everyone’s attention, it is also alleged that there is enough and more stored in offshore havens like Mauritius, Seychelles, Cayman Islands and so on.

While AAP started the trend, media has fanned the fire. Now, it is almost as if the list should contain the names of some very rich industrialists and political families. If, by design, they have stayed away from these banks, then people will say the Government is protecting them.

To resolve this dilemma, the Government has decided to rename the Public Sector Banks. Accordingly,

State Bank of India becomes Swiss Bank of India

Bank of Baroda becomes Bank of Luxembourg

Punjab National Bank becomes Seychelles National Bank

Bank of India becomes Bank of Mauritius

and finally, Canara Bank simply becomes Cayman Islands Bank.

The Government is also accordingly holding off on making Public Sector Bank (PSB) head appointments. It will instead recruit international bankers from target countries to head them.

The Government announced this radical initiative with elan through a series of tweets:

(Read the full report here.)

 

[Naina_Marbus]

The Government has been coming under pressure ..... the Government has decided to rename the Public Sector Banks. Accordingly,

State Bank of India becomes Swiss Bank of India

(Read the full report here.)

Sorry Sir! The UPA Government earlier had already renamed State Bank of India as Secular Bank of India!
UPA renames State Bank of India to Secular Bank of India

It what is perceived to be a major blow to Modi,…. the UPA government … announced that the State Bank of India would be renamed .. Secular Bank of India. … FM Chidambaram said, “The economy is in a bad shape. Inflation is high. Investor confidence is low and so is the value of the rupee. Under these circumstances, we wanted to do what any government would do – rename stuff.” “….we wanted to send a strong message to the communal forces while examining the possibility of implementing some much needed reforms in the banking sector as well.”

When asked to explain the nature of these reforms, Mr. Chidambaram said, “Well, we are in the process of implementing multiple interest rates for different sections of society. …The gist of the whole thing is that we have always wanted inclusive growth, …we want to give pain to all sections of society in equal measure.”

RBI Governor, Mr. D Subbarao .. announced the formation of a parallel credit rating agency, which would rate your secularism based on which loans would be granted. “We have something called the Secular Quotient, let’s call it SQ. Now, SQ is an index of all your activities online and offline. Your posts on Twitter, Facebook and other social media would be analysed for secularity by an algorithm provided by our Joint Chief Secular Officers, Ms. Barkha Dutt and Ms. Sagarika Ghose.”

“Of course, for minorities, SC/STs, OBCs and holders of secularism certificate personally signed by either Ms. Barkha Dutt or Ms. Sagarika Ghose will automatically have the highest SQ”, the FM added.

 

[sangom]

Sorry Sir! The UPA Government earlier had already renamed State Bank of India as Secular Bank of India!
UPA renames State Bank of India to Secular Bank of India

< Clipped >

Thank you, Sir. But Secular Bank of India can also be renamed as Swiss Bank of India, can't it be?

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Thank you, Sir. But Secular Bank of India can also be renamed as Swiss Bank of India, can't it be?

That would offend the minorities, wouldn't it? And what about all those who obtained SQ certificates?