• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Happy Valentine's day - to one and all

Status
Not open for further replies.
prasad1

prasad1

Active member
valentine's day.webp

Valentine's Day isn`t just for lovers. Feb 14 has also come to be a celebration time for families in general. The modern celebrations of the day sees people complementing their family members with gifts that include popular items as cards, fresh flowers like rose, chocolates and candies. Have a great Feb 14 with your family.

It might be commercialization, but for a good purpose.


I hope the Hindu-Taliban are not watching this site.:hug:
 
Dear Prasad ji,

Actually Valentine's day is too insipid..we Indians should celebrate Santa Vatsyayana's Day.
He gave us the Love Bible!LOL

I somehow totally feel Valentine's day is a big commercial joke.
Have you seen the price of roses on this day?

It will be some 4-5 times the normal price and guys are foolish enough to pay so much and girls do not mind their guys wasting money!LOL

BTW I really would not like to see the Indian Movie channel in the TV today.

All Tamil movies that will be shown this week will be about undying love that somehow ends up in suicide.

I have no problems if others celebrate Valentine's day even though I do not celebrate it but I just wish the Indian movie channels out here would stop glorifying it.
 
Tsk, tsk Prasadji, a plug for a mlechcha commercial festival. :)

Interestingly this web site is showing a Zee TV Valentine's ad right to the left of this web page, so the internet (or Google) can read your mind.

BTW, I understand what you are saying. My sons give Valentines to their parents, teachers and all classmates regardless of their gender. That is quite sweet, IMHO.

Happy Valentine's Day to you!
 
Last edited:
Happy Valentines Day to all my friends and everybody on this forum..
 
Raji Ram said:
Don't worry Prasad Sir! You are clever enough to post this thread in chit chat! :lol:

Happy Valentine's day to you! :high5:
Click to expand...
I have anti-prasad group watching it, are you saying that Hindu-Taliban do not chit-chat? :tsk:
 
Had a blasting valentine day with my lady love..a surprise party..candle light dinner and a late night movie..everything was just perfect.. :)
 
காதலர் தினம்..by Jeyamohan.

Jeyamohan, i admire, for many many reasons. this is from his blog. the url is below. but the excerpt is Jeyamohan's words, and from my heart...


நாம் திருமணத்தில் எல்லா பொருத்தங்களையும் பார்க்கிறோம். பணம் குடும்பம் சமூக அந்தஸ்து நிறம் படிப்பு வேலை உயரம் எல்லாம். ஆனால் ரசனை, மனநிலை, அறிவுத்திறன் ஆகியவற்றில் பொருத்தம் உண்டா என்று பார்ப்பதில்லை.

அதை கொஞ்சமேனும் பழகாமல் அறியவும் முடியாது. மரபான மணங்களில் ஆண்-பெண்ணை முடிவுசெய்தபின்னர்தான் நாம் அவர்களை பழகவே விடுகிறோம்.

நம் ரசனை,மனநிலை, அறிவுத்திறன் ஆகியவற்றில் இணைவு இல்லாத ஓரு நபரிடம் சிலநிமிடங்களுக்குமேல் நம்மால் பேசவே முடிவதில்லை. அப்படி ஒரு திருமணத் துணை அமைந்தால் அந்த உறவு எப்படி இருக்கும்?

நம் திருமணங்களில் ஒருவருடம் தாண்டிவிட்டால் அதன்பின் உரையாடலே நிகழ்வதில்லை.

சாப்பிட்டீங்களா, பிள்ளைங்க தூங்கியாச்சா. நாய்க்கு சோறு வச்சியா என சில சொற்றிடர்களுக்குமேல் உரையாடும் தம்பதிகள் நம்மிடம் மிக மிக அபூர்வம்.

இங்கே ஆண்கள் பெரும்பாலும் நண்பர்களிடம்தான் பேசுகிறார்கள். ‘எங்கிட்ட பேசாதீங்க. உங்க ப்ரண்ட்ஸுன்னா மட்டும் ராப்பகலா சிரிச்சுப்பேசுங்க’ என பெண்கள் புலம்புவதை கண்டிருக்கிறேன்.

பகிர்ந்துகொள்ள ஒரு பொதுத்தளம் இல்லாத நிலையில் வெற்று உரையாடல்கள் மட்டுமே சாத்தியம். வேறு வழியே இல்லை.

இந்த மனவிலகலில் இருந்து திருமண உறவே ஒப்புக்கு நிகழ்வதாக மாறிவிடுகிறது. பெண்கள் குழந்தைகளுடன் ஒரு தனி உலகில் வாழ ஆண் தனித்துவிடப்படுகிறான். நாற்பதை ஒட்டிய வயதுகளில் இளமையின் இலட்சியவேகங்கள் தணிகையில் அவன் இன்னும் தனிமையாக ஆகிறான். குடி போன்றவற்றில் சிக்குகிறா

and this conclusion..

ஏற்பாடுசெய்யப்பட்ட திருமணங்கள் ஒன்றாக நீடிப்பதற்கு சமூகமும் குடும்பமும் அழுத்தம் கொடுக்கின்றன. அவர்கள் எவ்வளவு கசந்தாலும் ஒருவரை ஒருவர் உச்சகட்டமாக வெறுத்தாலும் பிரிய அனுமதிப்பதில்லை.

ஆனால் காதல்மணங்களை பிரிக்கவும் காதலர்களை மனம்சோர்வுறச்செய்யவும்தான் குடும்பமும் சமூகமும் முயல்கின்றன. காதலர்களின் சிறிய பிரச்சினைகளைக்கூட சமூகமும் சுற்றமும் பெரிதுபடுத்துகின்றன.


அதையும் மீறி காதல்மணங்களில் பெரும்பாலானவை சிறந்த உறவுகளாகத்தான் உள்ளன என்பதுதான் நடைமுறை உண்மை. எந்த உறவிலும் சோர்வும் மனக்கசப்புகளும் கொஞ்சம் இருக்கலாம்.

ஆனால் காதல்மணத்தில் இருக்கும் மன ஒருமை முன்பின் அறியாத இருவர் சேர்ந்துவாழ்வதில் நிகழ்வதில்

my sister, who love married, swears by this above :) and i, many a time, feel forlorn hearing this, though satisfied on her behalf though.

and Jeyamohan's own life with Arunmozhi Nangai... இருபத்தொன்று வருடம் முன்பு காதலித்து மணம்புரிந்துகொண்டு இத்தனை வருடங்களில் ஒரு சிறு மனக்கசப்பு கூட இல்லாமல் அதே காதலுடன் அதைவிடப்பேரன்புட்ன் வாழக்கூடிய ஒருவன் என்றமுறையில் காதலர் அனைவருக்கும் என் வாழ்த்துக்கள்.

Jeyamohan on Valentine's Day
 

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

Not all the love marriages have the everlasting love! If the couples have good health, wealth and children, it is possible.

I have come across a few couples who fight over trivial things every day, who were once in deep love! This is because,

when in love, they see only the better side of each other and fail to see the other side. After all, love is blind, right?

My father used to jokingly say that a lady who loved a man for his style and good looks decided to go for a divorce the very

next day of their wedding! The reason............. She heard the noises he produced while brushing his teeth the next morning! :)
 
Raji Ram said:

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

Not all the love marriages have the everlasting love! If the couples have good health, wealth and children, it is possible.

I have come across a few couples who fight over trivial things every day, who were once in deep love! This is because,

when in love, they see only the better side of each other and fail to see the other side. After all, love is blind, right?

My father used to jokingly say that a lady who loved a man for his style and good looks decided to go for a divorce the very

next day of their wedding! The reason............. She heard the noises he produced while brushing his teeth the next morning! :)
Click to expand...

dear raji,

just because i havent seen antarctica, i cannot say that it does not exist. people say it is beautiful, but of a kind, that i will not understand. so should i deny it.

all i was trying to say, is, that, i believe, there is a type of kaadhal, that exists. of which i was bypassed. i bypassed. or it never came to me to byass.

all those who have experienced it, including my son, have told me, and defined it, in terms of a purity and ecstaticness, that i never know.

so i will not despise it. nor deny it.

like anything else in this life, that too has flaws. maybe. maybe not. but i do not know. so i will not mock it or deny it.

you know who came to me in my mind..our own Ravi..for the first time..i doubted myself in his relevance to me.. maybe he knows what he is looking for..and will not compromise.

how many of us, of our generation, would do that? if i did not marry at the right age, the shame is not mine. but my mothers'. have i not been drummed this into my psyche.

i do not have answers. but i do not have the courage to point fingers. or the conviction that what i did or did not, was right, or wrong.

hence,

my children. they live a life. of choices. choices, of their own option. if it succeeds, nothing like it. if it fails, they say, they will live by it. with it.

so be it. thaathaasthu.

God Bless., dear lady.
 
kunjuppu said:
dear raji,


..........like anything else in this life, that too has flaws. maybe. maybe not. but i do not know. so i will not mock it or deny it.

you know who came to me in my mind..our own Ravi..for the first time..i doubted myself in his relevance to me.. maybe he knows what he is looking for..and will not compromise.

how many of us, of our generation, would do that? if i did not marry at the right age, the shame is not mine. but my mothers'. have i not been drummed this into my psyche.
Click to expand...

Shri Kunjuppu,


The fact is, I am a very compromising person and that's the reason that I am living along the convictions of my MOM who is not courageous to face her relatives and society. She don't have the mind set to get along with the changing generation and still want things to be as per norms of marriages in Brahmin community, no matter what's the ground reality. She still keep hopes and I continue to support her hopes (when I could sense her after couple of my attempts to make her see things differently) :)

She is neither highly orthodox nor too particular about this and that of everyday life. She is a great mother and can be a great MIL too, in keeping her future DIL comfortable. It is just that she cant imagine to have a DIL from another community.

I have to agree that, I am adamant in not making compromises to keep "MY SELF" happy, unmindful of what could be the possible impact on my mother.


I take it as my destiny and I am happy as long as I am not shocking and disheartening my mother.


Any single girl reading my above message would sure be shocked and disgusted, considering me holding my mother's "mundhaanai" LOL!! She will be scared about the guys like me and their mothers, finding them stupid and terrible people.LOL!! And would feel pity of a girl who probably would marry guys of this kind in future and have such a MIL...LOL!!!


 
Last edited:
thank you ravi.

i have said several times before, in this forum, with the rules of the marriage game being played today, i would not have found a spouse, of the calibre, good looks and sophistication, as mrs K, who 33 years ago, agreed to hitch on to my veshti.

it is but a 'what if' lazy journey, had i been a youngster of 30 today, and unable to find a wife. i would have behaved, out of respect fear regard and lifelong practice, the same as you. ie wait for mummy to take the initiative.

only one thing would have differed. i think, while my mom, who was neither orthodox, and who eschewed jadhaga poruthal for me, might. might have looked beyond a tamil brahmin circle, to find a mate for her son.

because, knowing her, with her fantastic capacity to judge people, and particularly me, she would fear falling from my grace and also disappointing me of a 'must' ritual at the right time of my life. her focus on marriage, child rearing and such, was absolute, and she wanted those above all, for all her children.

also, her background, growing up in north malabar, with its wide mixture of communities, all intermixing, and from there straight to madras, again in another polyglot community - made her bypass the familiarities rigours and obligations, of an agraharam based culture.

but how much farther, she would have moved away, from the pattar community, in her search, i dare not hazard to guess.

best wishes to you ravi. and God Bless.
 
C RAVI said:
Shri Kunjuppu,


The fact is, I am a very compromising person and that's the reason that I am living along the convictions of my MOM who is not courageous to face her relatives and society. She don't have the mind set to get along with the changing generation and still want things to be as per norms of marriages in Brahmin community, no matter what's the ground reality. She still keep hopes and I continue to support her hopes (when I could sense her after couple of my attempts to make her see things differently) :)

She is neither highly orthodox nor too particular about this and that of everyday life. She is a great mother and can be a great MIL too, in keeping her future DIL comfortable. It is just that she cant imagine to have a DIL from another community.

I have to agree that, I am adamant in not making compromises to keep "MY SELF" happy, unmindful of what could be the possible impact on my mother.


I take it as my destiny and I am happy as long as I am not shocking and disheartening my mother.


Any single girl reading my above message would sure be shocked and disgusted, considering me holding my mother's "mundhaanai" LOL!! She will be scared about the guys like me and their mothers, finding them stupid and terrible people.LOL!! And would feel pity of a girl who probably would marry guys of this kind in future and have such a MIL...LOL!!!
Click to expand...

RAVI SIR

I appreciate your approach to wait till your mother changes her perception; but at the same time, you have a duty to convince your mother to make some relaxation to accept girls from any Sub Sects in Brahmins community.
If you are having a younger brother and if he is also in the marriageable age, you must think about him also as delay in your marriage might affect his getting married also.

This is the case with my brother in law who has two sons, and since the elder son's marriage is not happening, the younger brother is also not getting married, and both grow older all the time.

Keep this in mind and i sincerely wish you early marriage.
 
kunjuppu said:
thank you ravi.


it is but a 'what if' lazy journey, had i been a youngster of 30 today, and unable to find a wife. i would have behaved, out of respect fear regard and lifelong practice, the same as you. ie wait for mummy to take the initiative.
Click to expand...

No, Shri Kunjuppu, it is not that I am waiting for my mummy to take the initiative. Even when my Dady was alive, right from that time, I am taking all the initiatives. We brothers took and continue taking all the initiatives for our selves and for each other. But, off course within the limits we can do along with our work schedule, other than what mummy and daddy were doing.

Old mummy and Old daddy were literally on the roads, attending each and every Matrimony meet as possible, daddy spending hours on internet surfing all the Matrimonial websites in which we have registered paying money and making calls across the country etc..etc in search of an alliance

Mommy, Daddy (when alive), myself and bro are all on our toes to complete the project BUT the project is not getting completed due expecting girls only from Brahmin community.

This is the plight of many Brahmin guys whose parents are all looking for Brahmin girls.

Those days of yours were different and today its a different story altogether.
 
Last edited:
P.J. said:
RAVI SIR

I appreciate your approach to wait till your mother changes her perception; but at the same time, you have a duty to convince your mother to make some relaxation to accept girls from any Sub Sects in Brahmins community.
If you are having a younger brother and if he is also in the marriageable age, you must think about him also as delay in your marriage might affect his getting married also.

This is the case with my brother in law who has two sons, and since the elder son's marriage is not happening, the younger brother is also not getting married, and both grow older all the time.

Keep this in mind and i sincerely wish you early marriage.
Click to expand...

Shri. PJ,


We are OK with any sub-sects. We are OK with Iyengar girls too. We are OK with Telugu, Kannada and Malayali Brahmin girls too, provided they know spoken Tamil.

I am the youngest of the Home. My elder brother has no issues if miraculously I could get a girl for myself before him. We brothers don't have any such sensitive feelings and issues other than what I would personally wish to have him married before me or at least the marriage gets finalize at the same time or in a short notice.

Thank you for your wishes.
 
RAVI Sir

Last time when i was in India , doing my father's Srardham, one of the Sasthrigal around 35 years age told us, no Brahmin girl ( even Sasthrigal's Daughters) wish to marry a Sasthrigal. That particular Sasthrigal was looking healthy, having a crop, but a small Kudumi behind it. This plus his profession proves to be stumbling block for him to get married.!!
 
P.J. said:
RAVI Sir

Last time when i was in India , doing my father's Srardham, one of the Sasthrigal around 35 years age told us, no Brahmin girl ( even Sasthrigal's Daughters) wish to marry a Sasthrigal. That particular Sasthrigal was looking healthy, having a crop, but a small Kudumi behind it. This plus his profession proves to be stumbling block for him to get married.!!
Click to expand...

Exactly!!

People of our community are many running behind aacharayas and their Matts and I am doubtful if they really mean it!! I don't understand what they wanna achieve? Is that only to scale high in their spiritual journey at their old age?

Then what about their wish to perform vedic rituals at their home by Sasthrigals? What if vedic profession ceases to exist?

It is the irony that, people know that many are the poor Brahmin families and their generation would continue to be purohits. So, there is no threat of losing them in our community, having them changed to other profession and they would continue to render their services for their livelihood. So, even a vathiyar family need not to bother to marry off their daughter to a sasthri. In fact they can't expect their educated daughters to heed to their request, if at all those parents want them to marry a vaathiyar.

There are very remote cases where a successful and well placed vathiyar could marry a girl from their community, forking for MNC. The Vaathiyar who perfomed all the rights for my father, up to Varshaabdigam, is aged only 36 years and his wife, from the same gurukkal community is working as a Software Engineer in a MNC. She is not mindful of his type of profession and a cropped head with a short tuft.

 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Share this page

Latest posts

Latest ads

Follow us on Social Media

Back
Top