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How is success measured?

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Vaagmi

Vaagmi

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This is an interesting forward I received. I bring it here for the benefit of our young members.


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[TD]Would You Swap With Him?

Zig Ziglar

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I once discussed total success with a young man who was risking his health and his family by following his "hero's" example. He concluded that if anyone is happy, healthy, reasonably prosperous, secure and has friends, peace of mind, good family relationships and hope, he or she is successful.

I suggested we measure his hero's "success" by that yardstick. First I asked, "Is your hero- who spends all of his time working- happy?" The young man said he did not think so because he seldom smiled, never laughed and had ulcers. We gave his hero a failing grade on being happy and healthy, as well as on peace of mind (obvious, because of the ulcers). His hero passed the prosperity test with flying colours and received a question mark on "financially secure," since even billionaires can lose all of their money. On the friendship factor, his hero (who, incidentally, was his boss) failed completely because, as far as he knew, his boss had no friends- including himself. He commented that actually his boss was somewhat of a "jerk." His wife was divorcing him, giving him a failing grade on family relationships, and he believed that it was questionable that his boss might have real hope. Test results: On the eight things which constituted success in the young man's mind, his hero received five minuses, one positive and two question marks.

Then I asked, "Knowing what you now know, would you swap places with your boss?" There was silence, then slowly the young man stood up, extended his hand- indicating the interview was over - and said, "No, I wouldn't." I bet you wouldn't swap places with him either.

Fortunately, the young man made some dramatic changes. When I saw him again three years later, he had changed careers, was doing better financially, was living a balanced life and had a new baby. Look at your life and ask yourself, "Am I successful?" Answer honestly and take any necessary corrective actions and I'll see you at the top!

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vaagmiji

a few youngsters if any in this forum might appreciate your post

many members are senior citizens.

by now if they do not know if they are successful by any yardstick then probably they can continue the same way

upto the end.

after a certain age , some marginal changes might be possible but radical ones are ruled out

most are part of a family system . it is decided by people around them what is best for senior citizens in the family

only option is either accept it or drop out and perish.lol.
 
Dear Vaagmi ji,

I am contended..so that is my measure of success.

I never set goals..I make the best of what comes my way.
 
How is success measured?
Click to expand...
Who measures who's sucesss and in what time frame ?
I know of people who are quite contented with their own life but their own family and friends feel that this guy is wasting his potential by being in his own comfort zone .No doubt he was a good family member but their complaint was that he did not make much money as he played very safe .
On the contrary I know of people who wentoutside their comfort zone and made lot of money only to find their family and friends accusing them that money is great fine but at what cost ? He hardly spent time with family , the kids , lost his health due to frequent travel etc etc
One of my uncles died recently at age of 95 . He had a very excellent life till age of 85 ,had a huge family , married of all his sons and daughters and was the enby of many but the last 10 years from 85-95 years was pure hell for him as no one was willing to take care of him and he was tossed from one son to another son , from one daugther to another daughter and matter became such a worse that they got fed up as to why is this old man is not dying and torturing us .So up to 85 years one could say he was successul but from 85-95 he can be considered unsuccessful .

In the end I feel you cant staisfy everyone's standards and the individual itself has to verify for himself/herself how far he/she was successful . So if one has no regrets or very limited regrets in the end i.e at the time of dying then I can say such a person was successful .
 
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renuka said:
Dear Vaagmi ji,

I am contended..so that is my measure of success.

I never set goals..I make the best of what comes my way.
Click to expand...

Renukaji,

You are in good company. Most of the "successful" people are like you. I hate setting goals. But the goals-if they are milestones-do exist. Only when I cross it in my journey I remember it or notice it. For someone else who sets goals and achieve them these milestones must have been goals-I tell myself. My philosophy is I just keep moving without anxiety about any goals and I keep crossing them. This is perhaps "karmanyevaathikaarasthe.........." I enjoy every moment of my life and keep moving. So do not bother about goals. Just keep moving and hitting. LOL.
 
mkrishna100 said:
Who measures who's sucesss and in what time frame ?
I know of people who are quite contented with their own life but their own family and friends feel that this guy is wasting his potential by being in his own comfort zone .No doubt he was a good family member but their complaint was that he did not make much money as he played very safe .
On the contrary I know of people who wentoutside their comfort zone and made lot of money only to find their family and friends accusing them that money is great fine but at what cost ? He hardly spent time with family , the kids , lost his health due to frequent travel etc etc
One of my uncles died recently at age of 95 . He had a very excellent life till age of 85 ,had a huge family , married of all his sons and daughters and was the enby of many but the last 10 years from 85-95 years was pure hell for him as no one was willing to take care of him and he was tossed from one son to another son , from one daugther to another daughter and matter became such a worse that they got fed up as to why is this old man is not dying and torturing us .So up to 85 years one could say he was successul but from 85-95 he can be considered unsuccessful .

In the end I feel you cant staisfy everyone's standards and the individual itself has to verify for himself/herself how far he/she was successful . So if one has no regrets or very limited regrets in the end i.e at the time of dying then I can say such a person was successful .
Click to expand...

Hi mkrishna,

In my world these are the universal measures/standard of success:

You are successful when you can say without any hesitation:

1. I am blessed because God gave me such wonderful parents.

2. I am blessed because I got such a wonderful wife to whom I am indebted for everything that I am. Even in the next several generations I can not repay all that I owe her.

3. I am blessed because I have such wonderful children who live every one of my dreams about them.

4. I am blessed because God gave me such great teachers and such wonderful friends.

5. I am blessed because God gave me such an excellent health.

6. I am blessed because God gave me the potential to earn adequate wealth to live a comfortable life.

7. I am blessed because there is nothing there for me to ask from God in this life. I have everything.

8. I carry no regrets.

I can say all this without any hesitation. So I am successful.
 
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8. I carry no regrets.
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Vaagmi Sir , this alone would suffice .That was also the conclusion of my reply earlier which I have now highlighted in BOLD . I make it clear that this NO Regret at the END is important as in case of my Uncle he was considering himself very successful till the age of 85 and he was completely broken in the last 10 years of his life . No one knows how the future will unfold as health can deteoriate , wealth can deteoriate , people closer to us can have different attitudes later and people younger to us can die much before us and that will devastate that ( i have had people in my family who enjoyed fine health but who lost their son , grandson due to some mysetrious illness ) and while we can do our best to insure a comfortbale life for the present as well as future ,there is no guarantee that things will workout the same as we want and things may go even completely contrary .So all we can do is to be grateful for all our current blessings and pray for strength to face any adverse situations later to such an extent that even in worst circumstance we remain calm ,centered and happy with whatever we have .
 
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Vaagmi said:
This is perhaps "karmanyevaathikaarasthe.........." I enjoy every moment of my life and keep moving. So do not bother about goals. Just keep moving and hitting. LOL.
Click to expand...

I have this line in my consultation room 'karmanyevadhikaraste ma phaleshu kadacana..etc" printed in bold words and stuck on the wall.

I dont call anything a goal..I prefer to call it a plan.

Goal is something that is fixed and can generate anxiety and worry if not reached/attained.

Plans on the other hand can change..if Plan A does not work out than try Plan B.

So life is smoother and easier that way.

I am not competitive..I never compete with anyone becos each person has different strength and weaknesses so there can never be a comparison in the real sense.
 
Dear Vaagmi ji,

Do you really think like this?

My answers in blue..


Vaagmi said:
In my world these are the universal measures/standard of success:

You are successful when you can say without any hesitation:

1. I am blessed because God gave me such wonderful parents.

I just live..never thought of feeling blessed..parents are parents.. good or bad its still Mata Pita Guru Deivam.

2. I am blessed because I got such a wonderful wife to whom I am indebted for everything that I am. Even in the next several generations I can not repay all that I owe her.

We can never really know if a spouse is wonderful or not becos we usually have only 1 spouse!LOL(just kidding)

BTW I do not place anyone too high up anywhere or feel indebted becos that creates a Karmic debt in lifes to come. We come to this world to experience life and not get too involved with anyone no matter spouse or child.

3. I am blessed because I have such wonderful children who live every one of my dreams about them.

I give my child the freedom to live his dream..why should he live my dream?

4. I am blessed because God gave me such great teachers and such wonderful friends.

I had some teachers I liked and some I disliked..friends I have just one true friend...but why feel blessed..we dont know what will happen tomorrow?

5. I am blessed because God gave me such an excellent health.

Health is not to be taken for granted.

6. I am blessed because God gave me the potential to earn adequate wealth to live a comfortable life.

We work hard and get according to our effort.

7. I am blessed because there is nothing there for me to ask from God in this life. I have everything.

I love God that even if I had nothing I would still not ask Him becos I rather He give someone who needs something more than me.BTW no one really has everything.



8. I carry no regrets.

Same here.

I can say all this without any hesitation. So I am successful.

I prefer to say I am contended.
Click to expand...
 
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It seems to be a thread for members patting their own backs .

they are posting their thanks giving statements also

I do not relate to it
 
Renukaji,

That was an interesting post. Let me see whether I can add to it:

In my world these are the universal measures/standard of success:

You are successful when you can say without any hesitation:

1. I am blessed because God gave me such wonderful parents.

I just live..never thought of feeling blessed..parents are parents.. good or bad its still Mata Pita Guru Deivam.

No. The fact that one does not have any option in choosing parents is a serious handicap in the given situation of one's life. To say Mata Pita Guru Deivam and to understand that and accept that as an inviolable piece of wisdom requires a certain level of maturity. Otherwise that transaction of giving and understanding would have fallen flat. So I am blessed by God and got excellent parents. The probability there was 50:50. LOL

2. I am blessed because I got such a wonderful wife to whom I am indebted for everything that I am. Even in the next several generations I can not repay all that I owe her.

1.We can never really know if a spouse is wonderful or not becos we usually have only 1 spouse!LOL(just kidding)

2.BTW I do not place anyone too high up anywhere or feel indebted becos that creates a Karmic debt in lifes to come. We come to this world to experience life and not get too involved with anyone no matter spouse or child.

1.That is just a statement of the obvious.

2. What you say is dry philosophy. Whatever I owe is such that I can not paper over it and so I say it with all sincerity . I do not believe in carrying any karmic burden into the life to come because I am a thruptha prapanna. I just wait for my day.


3. I am blessed because I have such wonderful children who live every one of my dreams about them.

I give my child the freedom to live his dream..why should he live my dream?

I have heard this said before by several people. That is okay. May be there was a rare overlapping of dreams here.

4. I am blessed because God gave me such great teachers and such wonderful friends.

I had some teachers I liked and some I disliked..friends I have just one true friend...but why feel blessed..we dont know what will happen tomorrow?

To have a good teacher and a good friend is indeed a blessing. You will know this as you progress in life if you have not got it so far.


5. I am blessed because God gave me such an excellent health.

Health is not to be taken for granted.

I speak about the position so far and today. What is in future I am not bothered.

6. I am blessed because God gave me the potential to earn adequate wealth to live a comfortable life.

We work hard and get according to our effort.

The worker laying the bitumen road on my way to my office also works hard but does earn adequate wealth.

7. I am blessed because there is nothing there for me to ask from God in this life. I have everything.

I love God that even if I had nothing I would still not ask Him becos I rather He give someone who needs something more than me.BTW no one really has everything.

That is because you are not really in need.
I would correct my statement as "I have enough of everything" instead of "Ihave everything".

8. I carry no regrets.

Same here.

I can say all this without any hesitation. So I am successful.

I prefer to say I am contended.


If you are happy that is enough. What you call contentment I call it success.
 
Success and failures come and go in one's life. There cannot be universal measure of success since each of us are different in terms what we want.

Anyone that feels compelled to advertise success has not yet achieved anything that is lasting.
 
Vaagmi said:
If you are happy that is enough. What you call contentment I call it success.
Click to expand...



Dear Vaagmi,


We are like ahrarnisham(day and night) is thoughts..our minds never meet.

Contentment can not be equated with success even though contentment might be a measure of success.

Contentment is not a desire.

Success is a feeling that has desire as it substratum.

Happiness is hard to define..a person who is happy never says he is happy becos happiness is the innate nature of humans...so he wont stop to think that he is happy..its like breathing..we do not stop to think that we need to breathe.

Only when we are sad we write volumes about it becos sorrow is not the innate nature of humans.

What I am saying is not dry philosophy but life comes with cycles of various experiences.

The best is just sail thru it without getting too involved with anyone or anything or even the thought of success or failure.

But whatever said and done..If I really want to feel "successfu"l that would be the day when everyone in the whole world is also successful otherwise just personal success is of no use if a fellow human is 'suffering'
 
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renuka said:
But whatever said and done..If I really want to feel "successfu"l that would be the day when everyone in the whole world is also successful otherwise just personal success is of no use if a fellow human is 'suffering'
Click to expand...

I am with you in this post till the last sentence.
Even Buddha could not eradicate suffering, if you are born you will have sufferings. Accepting and going beyond the cycle of life and death is the only solution.
I fully agree with you success and contentment are two different things.
Religions want us to be content so we are not contesting for things others have (religions are encouraged by people with money).
Success is measured by comparison with others. If everyone came first then no body needs to try their best to succeed.
 
prasad1 said:
I am with you in this post till the last sentence.
Even Buddha could not eradicate suffering, if you are born you will have sufferings. Accepting and going beyond the cycle of life and death is the only solution.
I fully agree with you success and contentment are two different things.
Religions want us to be content so we are not contesting for things others have (religions are encouraged by people with money).
Success is measured by comparison with others. If everyone came first then no body needs to try their best to succeed.
Click to expand...

"Success" is based on comparison and its driving force is competition with the rest of the world. And success or otherwise cannot be determined until one's life is over, because, all that one boasts till then (like good health, wealth, good and excellent children, etc., etc.) can all vanish in no time; and any way they all "vanish" for the dying person!

Let us, therefore, not go by comparison, success and all those things but by equal welfare for all.
 
Renukaji,

But whatever said and done..If I really want to feel "successfu"l that would be the day when everyone in the whole world is also successful otherwise just personal success is of no use if a fellow human is 'suffering'
Click to expand...

I thought I would give up my notions of success and become a follower of you. So I am trying to make everybody around me successful. I dismissed my driver-poor fellow he has been working hard and has been wondering why he is not as rich as his master. He has got his freedom to chart out his course to become successful. Next on the line is my cook.

But the irrepressible cuckoo sitting on the tree outside my house tells me that I am wrong. There will always be cases of successes and failures in the society and so Vaagmi you are running after a mirage-it says. But I ignored it because Renukaji says otherwise and it must be right. LOL
 
sangom said:
1. "Success" is based on comparison and its driving force is competition with the rest of the world. 2. And success or otherwise cannot be determined until one's life is over, because, all that one boasts till then (like good health, wealth, good and excellent children, etc., etc.) can all vanish in no time; and any way they all "vanish" for the dying person!

Let us, therefore, not go by comparison, success and all those things but by equal welfare for all.
Click to expand...

Respected Sangom Sir,

Numbers for convenience of reference:

I set for myself goals which are values determined by my intellect. When I reach them I consider myself successful. There are other values also which are universally considered as desirable and when my intellect tells me that they are indeed so I accept them too as my goals. So my success is purely a product of internal processes. I am keenly aware that others too have their goals but I do not bother about that. If at all there is any comparison it is only with the self set standards not any thing external. May be for the world the success is always a comparison and so you always need a loser to declare a winner.

A Dhirubhai, son of a primary school master in a remote seaside village called Chorwad in Gujarat might have become the richest man in India by hard work. But I do not set my standards on that. Vaagmi, the son of a school teacher in a remote village in Tamilnadu is as happy or even more happy than D.Bhai perhaps because he considers himself successful with just his own millions and without all those loads of millions. Think about it and you will understand what I say.

2. We are discussing life and success. You are speaking about death and disappearance. The two are different.
 
Jaykay767 said:
Please read this before you go around gloating howhappy/successful/contented you are etc.. Life can turn on its head in oneinstant of time…

Cosmic Theory - Life's Real Secrets !

One should be very respectful, very humble & almostfearful of what tomorrow can bring… and of course pray as always…
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice.

Mere statements of facts do not become "gloating". Anyone who considers it so may be suffering from ennui.

Yes. Life may turn upside down in just one second. But only "may". I will handle that crisis when I come to that or when it comes to me.

I am respectful of God. Humble before the God that I pray to. That is why I repeatedly say I am blessed by God.

I am not fearful of anything for I do not know what is fear. I have lived without fear and I intend to live like that till the end. I am not afraid of tomorrow. When it comes I will live it.
 
prasad1 said:
I am with you in this post till the last sentence.
Even Buddha could not eradicate suffering, if you are born you will have sufferings. Accepting and going beyond the cycle of life and death is the only solution.
I fully agree with you success and contentment are two different things.
Religions want us to be content so we are not contesting for things others have (religions are encouraged by people with money).
Success is measured by comparison with others. If everyone came first then no body needs to try their best to succeed.
Click to expand...


Dear Prasad ji,

I should have been a bit more specific..when I meantn suffering..I meant extreme cases like how people are unjustly killed like what ISIS is doing.

That is a hard blow to whole of humanity and one cant help feeling guilty to be even alive..at times when I read such news I find it hard to even get a good nights sleep.

I know suffering can not be eradicated and is inevitable but our human hearts cant help feeling the pain of others too.

This I am sure you would agree with me.
 
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