How should we act in this world - our Dharma

[prasad1]

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The_Times_of_india
Parmarth Niketan, Rishikesh
In our lives we encounter people who harm us, insult us, plot against us, whose actions seem calculated to thwart the successful achievement of our goals. Sometimes these are obvious acts, such as a co-worker who continually steals our ideas or speaks badly of us to our boss. Sometimes these acts are subtle – a friend, relative or colleague who unexpectedly betrays us or who we find has been surreptitiously speaking negatively about us behind our back.


Slowly we find that our own actions, words and thoughts become driven by anger and pain. We find ourselves engaged in cunning thoughts of revenge. Before we realise it, we are injuring ourselves by allowing negative emotions dominate us. They insulted us or plotted against us or sabotaged a well-deserved achievement at work. But we injure ourselves more deeply and more gravely by allowing our hearts and minds to darken.


Our dharma is to be kind, pure, honest, giving, sharing and caring. Others, due to ignorance, lack of understanding or due to the way in which their own karmic drama is unfolding, may act with malice, deceit, selfishness and indifference. But we must not let their actions or their ignorance deprive us of fulfilling our dharma. We must not allow ourselves to be lowered by their ignorance, their habits or their greed. The darkness in their heart should not be allowed to penetrate into the lightness of our hearts.

 

[sangom]

The_Times_of_india
Parmarth Niketan, Rishikesh

...
Our dharma is to be kind, pure, honest, giving, sharing and caring. Others, due to ignorance, lack of understanding or due to the way in which their own karmic drama is unfolding, may act with malice, deceit, selfishness and indifference. But we must not let their actions or their ignorance deprive us of fulfilling our dharma. We must not allow ourselves to be lowered by their ignorance, their habits or their greed. The darkness in their heart should not be allowed to penetrate into the lightness of our hearts.

IMHO, it is not only 'their own' karmic effects unfolding, more primarily, it is 'our own' karma unfolding.

 

[tks]

The_Times_of_india
Parmarth Niketan, Rishikesh
In our lives we encounter people who harm us, insult us, plot against us, whose actions seem calculated to thwart the successful achievement of our goals. Sometimes these are obvious acts, such as a co-worker who continually steals our ideas or speaks badly of us to our boss. Sometimes these acts are subtle – a friend, relative or colleague who unexpectedly betrays us or who we find has been surreptitiously speaking negatively about us behind our back.


Slowly we find that our own actions, words and thoughts become driven by anger and pain. We find ourselves engaged in cunning thoughts of revenge. Before we realise it, we are injuring ourselves by allowing negative emotions dominate us. They insulted us or plotted against us or sabotaged a well-deserved achievement at work. But we injure ourselves more deeply and more gravely by allowing our hearts and minds to darken.


Our dharma is to be kind, pure, honest, giving, sharing and caring. Others, due to ignorance, lack of understanding or due to the way in which their own karmic drama is unfolding, may act with malice, deceit, selfishness and indifference. But we must not let their actions or their ignorance deprive us of fulfilling our dharma. We must not allow ourselves to be lowered by their ignorance, their habits or their greed. The darkness in their heart should not be allowed to penetrate into the lightness of our hearts.

Not sure I understand the thesis of this write up and seriously doubt if author understands what Dharma (or Karma) is especially since these are terms freely used these days in all walks of life.

While our attitudes need not be affected by others, protecting Dharma may require appropriate response sometimes- Arjuna was asked to kill his dear teacher, grand father and his cousins . Our teachings do not emphasize passivity which is what I read in the above article.

 

[moodamadayan]

Dear Shri. Prasad 1,

I think whatever you have stated is absolutely true. I have gone through whatever you have stated in my professional life and it can be so hurting and sometimes humiliation could devastate us. Luckily I have reacted in the manner you have suggested in your post as I always ( Even at that age ) believed that there is something called "natural law of justice". I only had wait for some years (around 5 years to be precise) when I started overtaking everyone who went ahead of me and was highly successful too. The person who tried to damage my career, confidence ultimately lost his job but I maintained my cordial relation with him. After almost 15 years, without any provocation he started crying and went on crying for whatever he tried to do to damage my career. I didnt get satisfied or happy but only felt sorry for him.Even now we maintain good relations.

 

[Govinda]

Not sure I understand the thesis of this write up and seriously doubt if author understands what Dharma (or Karma) is especially since these are terms freely used these days in all walks of life.

While our attitudes need not be affected by others, protecting Dharma may require appropriate response sometimes- Arjuna was asked to kill his dear teacher, grand father and his cousins . Our teachings do not emphasize passivity which is what I read in the above article.

Our brains have dopamine like chemicals, which makes us get attached, habited etc. Even if someone tries to stay positive, this repeated torture from the 90% selfish/opportunist society, has a profound effect
on these chemicals. There are people, who get depressed or stressed due to such repeated attacks/loss-of-hope.

A couple of people I have noticed said 'I stopped moral policing'. A couple other wanted to send repeated group emails on staying positive, dharmic, healthy. Except these four, all others want to either boss over (
money-saver/selfish/avoid adapting to good values) or stay private (at their convinence). We are lost! There are very few good people around, all others are opportunists!

All the nice people out there imagining to be dharmic, are simply sharing junk stuff (due to mis-education from the media/commercials).

 

[renuka]

The best known form of Dharma practiced by almost everyone is Mama Dharma(My definition of Dharma)!LOL
Meaning of Mama : My

I feel the best way of leading our lives is not to indulge in anything that might land us in jail!

 

[suraju06]

I would like to follow the Gujarati in the following story when someone acts maliciously towards me:

This story is told to emphasise how a Gujarati is businesslike in every thing he does. One day a Gujarati was sitting in front of his home. A person walking on the street who had some enmity towards this Gujarati came stood before him and wanted to provoke him into a quarrel. He started abusing the Gujarati. The Gujarati kept quite without replying. It went on for some time. A friend of our Gujarati came that way. He understood what was going on and asked the Gujarati, "woh to itna gaali deta hai tumko, tuk kyon chup baitthe ho. kuch tho bolo na?(Why do you keep quite as the fellow keeps on abusing you. why dont you retort). The Gujarati replied "woh to deta hi hai. Kuch letha tho naheen." ( he is only giving. He is not taking anything away from me. why should I bother).

 

[prasad1]

Forgiveness is that quality in a human being which separates him from the animals and the lower forms of living beings. To preach forgiveness is a simple task but to practice forgiveness in real life is the essence of life.


Only a person with extreme humbleness imbibed within and a feeling of compassion for his compatriot is able to practice forgiveness! To forgive requires that the forgiver forgoes all the sufferings of the past that may have been inflicted upon him by the gruesome acts of the indulgent. A tough task indeed but not something that cannot be practised!


In most circumstances one may not have committed any sin, still practising forgiveness brings within us a feeling of extreme calm and compassion for the mankind in general. Practice of forgiveness normally cannot be practiced by the common man for it requires practising patience to its extreme.


If we are to achieve our goal of life... we just cannot manage to cling on to events of the past... happenings which cannot be reversed by us using any means. We cannot travel back in time to undo the events of the past. Why not practice forgiveness and forgive those ignorant denizens of the society who practiced ill will and caused harm to the society.


Forgiving the ignorant is the best policy... it clears us of the debris of the past! Indulgence in the ugly residual remembrances of the past results in anger. Why destroy our body and health by harbouring the evil thoughts of the past.


Knowing well that we cannot undo the events of the past... we must brace ourselves for the times ahead! To peacefully practice in the present we need to follow the dictates of forgiveness to its extreme! There are no allowances in the field of forgiveness. It has to be total surrender!

Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani"
Forgiveness Stories Essays Definition Quotes essay

 

[tbs]

hi
swadharmo nitharaam shreyaha....para dharmo bhayavahaha....

 

[Brahmanyan]

Forgiveness is that quality in a human being which separates him from the animals and the lower forms of living beings. To preach forgiveness is a simple task but to practice forgiveness in real life is the essence of life.

Dear Sri Prasad,

Wonderful words indeed. I give below the words of Jain Dharma (Shramana Dharma) that I read recently on the subject:

"A major characteristic of Jain belief is the emphasis on the consequences of not only physical but also mental behaviours. One's unconquered mind tainted with anger, pride (ego), deceit, and greed joined with uncontrolled sense organs are powerful enemies of humans. Anger comes in the way of good human relations, pride destroys humility, deceit destroys peace, and greed destroys good judgement. Jainism recommends conquering anger by forgiveness, pride (ego) by humility, deceit by straight-forwardness, and greed by contentment."

Best Wishes,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.

 

[Raji Ram]

This ThirukkuraL gives us the idea as to how we should act in this world.

அழுக்காறு அவாவெகுளி இன்னாச்சொல் நான்கும்
இழுக்கா இயன்றது அறம்.

It is dharma to avoid envy, lust, anger and harsh words. Envy leads to lust;

lust leads to anger; anger leads to harsh words.

 

[Govinda]

I would like to follow the Gujarati in the following story when someone acts maliciously towards me:
The Gujarati replied "woh to deta hi hai. Kuch letha tho naheen." ( he is only giving. He is not taking anything away from me. why should I bother).

True, not just with Gujjus but with any north indian. Because they are smarties, money-minded, practial vaishyas.

Plus, North Indians are balanced and goal oriented, becos they eat more sabjis/dhAl, but the wheat and erumai paal (makes them cold-minded!) left with the
logical/feeling right brain (parietal) mal-functionting. So, these people never realize their faults and we simply have to deal with them.
If you go further north (Iran/Mid-east), their right brain is numb, and would be ready to do any killing. So, Just Shut up and do their work, they will get your Salary!!!

The South Indians eat all carb rich and can do only the routine jobs (Frontal lobe) and are very sensitive/emotional and get angry.
They eat rice, lucky, they still have feelings, but give others the heart/head-ache to deal with them [they can understand only their own way!]. I was one among them, I changed a bit as I started taking more Sundal.

 

[Govinda]

Forgiveness is that quality in a human being which separates him from the animals and the lower forms of living beings. To preach forgiveness is a simple task but to practice forgiveness in real life is the essence of life.


Only a person with extreme humbleness imbibed within and a feeling of compassion for his compatriot is able to practice forgiveness! To forgive requires that the forgiver forgoes all the sufferings of the past that may have been inflicted upon him by the gruesome acts of the indulgent. A tough task indeed but not something that cannot be practised!

Knowing well that we cannot undo the events of the past... we must brace ourselves for the times ahead! To peacefully practice in the present we need to follow the dictates of forgiveness to its extreme! There are no allowances in the field of forgiveness. It has to be total surrender!

Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani"
Forgiveness Stories Essays Definition Quotes essay

Prasad Ji,

It is a big joke.

Do you consider repeated ignorance or defiance or abuse by others on the humble/victim as dharmic ? Why do you enforce forgiveness,
when the opponent is a dictator or aggressor?

If someone is ignorant or adamant, their brains are clouded. There are only two ways to brain/mind problem - Structural (Past Karma) and Functional (Physiological - Present Karma).

We may not be able to fix the structural problem, but we can on the Functions with right food, right education, right environment.
[We are responsible for our present Karma/actions , fix it now or our suffering will fix it later!]

Let us try to educate the society on the right actions, not humble the right or nice person. My opinion!

We are obliged to forgive someone only on special conditions (forgetfulness or illness/poverty or repentance etc), but for others who fail in their duty, carry a stick.
This adharmic humility, silence, forgiveness has brought India to this corrupt level. Why would a million suffer when billion are corrupt?? Chase that billion rogues!

Why dont we deal with the other side of the coin first?!

You guys talk of depreciating Rupee Value, Super power India Dreams, sadhu stories of using twigs to save the spider, etc. without a solution.
Now, Carry the Stick for those adharmic to oneself and to others!!!

 

[Raghy]

Sri. Govinda, Greetings.

I refer to your message in post #12. Due to my present discomfort, I am not quoting a specific portion though. I agree with the tone of your message. Unless the aggressor seek an apology, forgiveness by the victim has no meaning. One may forget; but one may not forgive until an apology is sought.

Cheers!

 

[Govinda]

Sri. Govinda, Greetings.

I refer to your message in post #12. Due to my present discomfort, I am not quoting a specific portion though. I agree with the tone of your message. Unless the aggressor seek an apology, forgiveness by the victim has no meaning. One may forget; but one may not forgive until an apology is sought.

Cheers!

Greetings! Thank You.

 

[prasad1]

Prasad Ji,

It is a big joke.

Do you consider repeated ignorance or defiance or abuse by others on the humble/victim as dharmic ? Why do you enforce forgiveness,
when the opponent is a dictator or aggressor?

If someone is ignorant or adamant, their brains are clouded. There are only two ways to brain/mind problem - Structural (Past Karma) and Functional (Physiological - Present Karma).

We may not be able to fix the structural problem, but we can on the Functions with right food, right education, right environment.
[We are responsible for our present Karma/actions , fix it now or our suffering will fix it later!]

Let us try to educate the society on the right actions, not humble the right or nice person. My opinion!

We are obliged to forgive someone only on special conditions (forgetfulness or illness/poverty or repentance etc), but for others who fail in their duty, carry a stick.
This adharmic humility, silence, forgiveness has brought India to this corrupt level. Why would a million suffer when billion are corrupt?? Chase that billion rogues!

Why dont we deal with the other side of the coin first?!

You guys talk of depreciating Rupee Value, Super power India Dreams, sadhu stories of using twigs to save the spider, etc. without a solution.
Now, Carry the Stick for those adharmic to oneself and to others!!!

Sir,
If you do not like the message you can ignore it.
Just because you do not like the message it does not give you right to kill the messenger.
My post was to show a way forward for people who are not bent on revenge.
I give you all permission to carry your grudge in this life and beyond, hope it helps you.
I personally do not want to carry any grudge against anyone. I can easily forgive someone but I may not forget the incident.
Forgiving others is for your sanity not for their welfare.

Since Hindu beliefs work on the principle of Karma, taking revenge would mean, you will be stuck in the endless cycle of death and birth. Hence, the principle of karma would imply that we need to lead a life of content and peace.

I did not mean to increase your BP or your karmas.

 

[prasad1]

Revenge will only hurt the avanger!


Forgiveness frees an individual from some of the harm that the offender caused
and repays evil with good.Revenge on the other hand is the inflicting of
punishment in return for an injury or insult and returns evil with evil.


Forgiveness seems to be unjust. Revenge seems to bring justice. But harboring
bad feelings against another person is like a cancer that kills. It does not
bring justice or peace.


From both a behavioral and a spiritual perspective, it is time to renounce
revenge for good. In life, both the forgiver and avenger are harmed in similar
ways. It is their reaction to that harmful event that makes the difference.
Forgiving is essentially an act of giving and sharing. Avenging is an act of
taking, stealing, or hurting.


Forgiveness is a good choice that comes from a rich spiritual person and is
helpful. Revenge usually is an outgrowth of anger and harms all parties
concerned.Thus in short, revenge has more an injurious goal than a constructive
goal. An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.


Thus, there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. In taking revenge, a man
is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is much more superior! !


Avoid taking revenge, practise more forgiveness!

http://www.indiadivine.org/showthread.php/870513-Revenge-will-only-hurt-the-avenger

 

[Govinda]

Sir,
If you do not like the message you can ignore it.

Prasad Ji, Cool Down!

When Sangomji raised some opinions about one recently frequent headlines poster, you sided him.

I have the similar message. This is a public forum, if I have differing views,
I have an equal voice as the poster. [ so does everyone, even with my posts].
Noone can ignore, if they have time to reply.

Just because you do not like the message it does not give you right to kill the messenger.

Oops! You have taken it personal. I respond only for the message/content, sir.
Plus, I am a follower of your, Renuka, Raghy, Sangom sir etc.'s follower. These people are
famous here, and even have radical views, sometimes contradicting views. That interests me!

Forgiving others is for your sanity not for their welfare.

You read betwn lines, sir. Do you? Forgive only those exceptions, else those should be chased for their correction and the welfare of others.
If someone gets you in trouble all the time, next time stop them, challenge them, cut a deal. So, they would realize and you have the good
karma of making them better! They have high dopamine's/carb&Fat, that makes them have selfish goals.

If I am a Sadhu, I can forgive forever, and be humble and would vanish one day. But, we are leaving generations behind. Teach logic and Values.
Correct the people's actions! I didnt ask you to revenge.

Since Hindu beliefs work on the principle of Karma, taking revenge would mean, you will be stuck in the endless cycle of death and birth. Hence, the principle of karma would imply that we need to lead a life of content and peace.

It is true, we better dont dwell in the past either. If we do, we have been taking those carbs/fat too much and our minds are lost in loop!
We should learn logic, science and values, fix ourselves, then we will better chance of fixing others.

Like Revenge, Passivity does no good. I meant 'Act, not React'.

 

[Brahma Rishi]

Dear Prasad and Govind,

To err is human, to forgive divine.

Zenith of forgiveness was demonstrated by the Messiah at His crucifixion for absolutely no fault of His :

"Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing"

Regards,
Rishi

 

[Acharya]

True, not just with Gujjus but with any north indian. Because they are smarties, money-minded, practial vaishyas.

Plus, North Indians are balanced and goal oriented, becos they eat more sabjis/dhAl, but the wheat and erumai paal (makes them cold-minded!) left with the
logical/feeling right brain (parietal) mal-functionting. So, these people never realize their faults and we simply have to deal with them.
If you go further north (Iran/Mid-east), their right brain is numb, and would be ready to do any killing. So, Just Shut up and do their work, they will get your Salary!!!

The South Indians eat all carb rich and can do only the routine jobs (Frontal lobe) and are very sensitive/emotional and get angry.
They eat rice, lucky, they still have feelings, but give others the heart/head-ache to deal with them [they can understand only their own way!]. I was one among them, I changed a bit as I started taking more Sundal.

Dear Govinda,

Behavioural trends and traits based on Language group, caste, creed, ethnicity is a thing of the past. In the present times you cannot generalize and attribute character, conduct and behaviour to any of these. Conduct and behaviour are influenced by many factors and are individualistic.

Regards,
Acharya

 

[Govinda]

Dear Prasad and Govind, To err is human, to forgive divine. Zenith of forgiveness was demonstrated by the Messiah at His crucifixion for absolutely no fault of His : "Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing" Regards, Rishi

Oops! Don't think all innocent, defenceless Jesuses have to suffer!

 

[Brahma Rishi]

Oops! Don't think all innocent, defenceless Jesuses have to suffer!

Dear Govinda,

To suffer when defenseless is no big deal. Coz there is no alternative. To remain passive while yet you are omnipotent is GODLINESS!!!

Regards,
Rishi

 

[sravna]

Dear Govinda,

To suffer when defenseless is no big deal. Coz there is no alternative. To remain passive while yet you are omnipotent is GODLINESS!!!

Regards,
Rishi

That unfortunately doesn't work in this age. Having said that, divine acts may not always be readily understandable because they are always done with the big picture in mind.

 

[Govinda]

Thanks to Prasad Ji for a nice topic/Thread.

These are the words of Prahlad to his grand-Son Bali on Forgiveness:

"'I shall now indicate the occasions in detail of forgiveness, as laid down by the learned, and which should ever be observed by all. Hearken unto me as I speak! He that hath done thee a service, even if he is guilty of a grave wrong unto thee, recollecting his former service, shouldst thou forgive that offender. Those also that have become offenders from ignorance and folly should be forgiven for learning and wisdom are not always easily attainable by man. They that having offended thee knowingly, plead ignorance should be punished, even if their offences be trivial. Such crooked men should never be pardoned. The first offence of every creature should be forgiven. The second offence, however, should be punished, even if it be trivial. If, however, a person commiteth an offence unwillingly, it hath been said that examining his plea well by a judicious enquiry, he should be pardoned. Humility may vanquish might, humility may vanquish weakness. There is nothing that humility may not accomplish. Therefore, humility is truly fiercer (than it seemeth)! One should act with reference to place and time, taking note of his own might or weakness. Nothing can succeed that hath been undertaken without reference to place and time. Therefore, do thou ever wait for place and time! Sometimes offenders should be forgiven from fear of the people. These have been declared to be times of forgiveness. And it hath been said that on occasions besides these, might should be put forth against transgressors.'"

Actually, this discussion was quoted by Draupadi to her husband Yudhistira (Dharma) who wanted to be silent/forgiving to all the torture, atrocities committed
by the Kauravas. Plus, the discussion between them talks of the needs/merits of Action Vs Inaction. These are detailed in few sections in Mahabharata, Vana Parva. These are a nice read.

The Mahabharata, Book 3: Vana Parva: Arjunabhigamana Parva: Section XXVIII

My understanding is that those Article writers, should not just write blanket view or force their views. Like Programming, they should include the exceptions, if, elsifs and buts, and also quote or use the content of authoritative/practical texts.

P.S: Sravna ji , how to add a signature like yours ? Help!
___________________________________________________________________________

Fear of God is to dodge needful learning.
Denial of God is to dodge rightful actions.

 

[sravna]

Thanks to Prasad Ji for a nice topic/Thread.

These are the words of Prahlad to his grand-Son Bali on Forgiveness:

"'I shall now indicate the occasions in detail of forgiveness, as laid down by the learned, and which should ever be observed by all. Hearken unto me as I speak! He that hath done thee a service, even if he is guilty of a grave wrong unto thee, recollecting his former service, shouldst thou forgive that offender. Those also that have become offenders from ignorance and folly should be forgiven for learning and wisdom are not always easily attainable by man. They that having offended thee knowingly, plead ignorance should be punished, even if their offences be trivial. Such crooked men should never be pardoned. The first offence of every creature should be forgiven. The second offence, however, should be punished, even if it be trivial. If, however, a person commiteth an offence unwillingly, it hath been said that examining his plea well by a judicious enquiry, he should be pardoned. Humility may vanquish might, humility may vanquish weakness. There is nothing that humility may not accomplish. Therefore, humility is truly fiercer (than it seemeth)! One should act with reference to place and time, taking note of his own might or weakness. Nothing can succeed that hath been undertaken without reference to place and time. Therefore, do thou ever wait for place and time! Sometimes offenders should be forgiven from fear of the people. These have been declared to be times of forgiveness. And it hath been said that on occasions besides these, might should be put forth against transgressors.'"

Actually, this discussion was quoted by Draupadi to her husband Yudhistira (Dharma) who wanted to be silent/forgiving to all the torture, atrocities committed
by the Kauravas. Plus, the discussion between them talks of the needs/merits of Action Vs Inaction. These are detailed in few sections in Mahabharata, Vana Parva. These are a nice read.

The Mahabharata, Book 3: Vana Parva: Arjunabhigamana Parva: Section XXVIII

My understanding is that those Article writers, should not just write blanket view or force their views. Like Programming, they should include the exceptions, if, elsifs and buts, and also quote or use the content of authoritative/practical texts.

P.S: Sravna ji , how to add a signature like yours ? Help!
___________________________________________________________________________

Fear of God is to dodge needful learning.
Denial of God is to dodge rightful actions.

Dear Shri.Govinda,

Click on notifications . you will get a list like INBOX. LIKES RECEIVED . If I click on INBOX, it takes me the page where I can edit my profile including the signature.

That's what worked for me.