how to solve family problem

[shivagami]

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My husband is very egoistic character.I m struggling to live with him.he is thinking me as his servent.no equal importance for me.I am tolerating everything.I feel very sad.he knows ego,domination,commanding,superiority etc.,even before marriage itself he told me that he will live than me in everything. I can't do anything that time my parents are severe.now I m struggling lot.guidance please.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Shivagami,

It is very common for the males to have ego! There is no solution and the change has to occur in that person himself.

Do you think all females have equality in their households? NO, dear! The Indians have set a few jobs ONLY for women.

Many of my friends who work and earn fairly well, do the household chores themselves - of course with the help of a maid.

Accept his egoism. Be bold and carry on. Feel happy that you are managing you home very well. :thumb:

Please understand that happiness is within ourselves and depression is the worst enemy!

 

[rajagopi74]

Nice

 

[Raji Ram]

I have already posted this in our forum five years back!

It will be apt to post again here, I think.


மாற முயலலாமே!

சொல்லுவது எளிது, செய்வதோ மிகக் கடினம்;
எள்ளளவும் மாறாதோருடன் வாழ்வதும் கடினம்!

கொஞ்சம் நம்மை மாற்றினால், நெஞ்சத்தில் வந்து
கொஞ்சம் அமைதி கிட்டுமோ என எண்ணுகிறேன்!

இப்பிறவியில் கிடைத்தது இவ்வளவுதான் என
இப்பொழுதே உணர்ந்து, கெட்டவை மறக்கலாம்!

எதிர்ப் பேச்சே பேசாது, காதையும் மூடியிருக்கலாம்!
எதிர்பார்ப்பைக் குறைத்து, ஏமாற்றம் தவிர்க்கலாம்!

நம்மால் முடிந்ததை மட்டுமே செய்துவிட்டு,
என்னால் இனி முடியாது என்று ஒதுங்கலாம்!

நம்மிடம் உள்ள திறமை மறுக்கப்பட்டாலும்,
நம்முடைய தனிமையில் வெளிப்படுத்தலாம்!

மிதியடிபோல மாறவேண்டாம்! அதே சமயம்
அதிரடியாய் எதிர் பாணம் போட வேண்டாம்!

நம் வயதைக் காரணமாகக் காட்டி, இனிமேல்
நம் வேலைகளின் இலக்கை நிர்ணயிக்கலாம்!

நல்ல நிகழ்வுகளை மட்டுமே நினைத்து, மன
அல்லல் தவிர்க்க எப்போதும் விழையலாம்!

‘ஒன்றரை கண்ணன் ராஜ பார்வை பார்க்க மாட்டான்!’,
என்பதை உணர்ந்து கொண்டால், அமைதி கிட்டலாம்! :thumb:

 

[shivagami]

My husband is very egoistic character.I m struggling to live with him.he is thinking me as his servent.no equal importance for me.I am tolerating everything.I feel very sad.he knows ego,domination,commanding,superiority etc.,even before marriage itself he told me that he will live than me in everything. I can't do anything that time my parents are severe.now I m struggling lot.guidance please.

Thanks for you both for posting a healing words for me.i feel lonely ,cry lonely but I will come to normal soon.then I will start to meditate.

 

[shivagami]

My husband is very egoistic character.I m struggling to live with him.he is thinking me as his servent.no equal importance for me.I am tolerating everything.I feel very sad.he knows ego,domination,commanding,superiority etc.,even before marriage itself he told me that he will live than me in everything. I can't do anything that time my parents are severe.now I m struggling lot.guidance please.

Ladies shouldn't have self respect?ladies also humans,

 

[krish44]

What is really bad is accepting the status quo and putting up with unreasonable expectations of an egoistic person.

One can easily change by either standing up to it for which one requires belief in self more than anything else.

One can start by changing the rules of the game by pushing the mate slowly by playing to his weakness and ego to get what you want.

Only one has to be persistent to get ones way.

There is no need to be a door mat in the process of your feeding and suffering mates ego alone.

In fact egoistic persons are the easiest to cheat . Nothing like unregulated and wholesome praise and sweet talking to get what one wants.

One has to build dependance of mate on yourself so that he has to return to you for everything.

Most women know how to do that.

You should be sharing some interests and hobbies with your husband to keep him interested in you.

Many times good food and decent friendships accepting another persons weaknesses and exploiting it for good of both helps.

Frankly , lot of women face problems like you do . They learn to cope and get their way with a little bit of wisdom . I am sure you will overcome and win.

Best wishes

 

[sangom]

Smt. Shivagami,

I feel you should consult a good astrologer (not money-making type) and find out whether your horoscope and your husband's horoscope matches. If they don't, then consult a good lawyer who practises in the family court and seek his guidance.

Today the laws favour the woman (wife) so much that no woman needs to feel lost and lonely. I know a young girl, about 30, who threatened her (newly married) husband within 2 years of marriage saying if he did not act according to her orders, she would go to the nearest police station and file a complaint against him for cruelty (mental) in marriage. The poor fellow got so scared, and his father turned half mad thinking that all of them would be put in jail. Now that husband has changed completely. Your husband with may be tons of ego cannot stand a chance in the family court, or even before the police.

It will be better if you seek a job which will give you some regular income.

 

[shivagami]

My husband is very egoistic character.I m struggling to live with him.he is thinking me as his servent.no equal importance for me.I am tolerating everything.I feel very sad.he knows ego,domination,commanding,superiority etc.,even before marriage itself he told me that he will live than me in everything. I can't do anything that time my parents are severe.now I m struggling lot.guidance please.

I m from poor family, when I came here I was suppressed by him.I lost my self-respect.I don't have the place to go.my husband using this to show his egoism,but me too a graduate,me too having talents.a village girl without education, suits to my husband, that kind of girl may think husband as her world.but this person will not marry that kind of girl.