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All marriage shastras come to us from the Grihya Sutras.

The outline for marriage is common for all castes and communities within the Hindu fold. The Sankhyayana and Ashvalayana Gruhya Sutra [we follow in South India] mention the following steps - [1] Nishchitartha [engagement] - all negotiations and conditions put forth by both families are documented and the engagement is finalized]; [2] Punyaha & Nandi - seeking permission from ancestors for this ritual to go ahead; [3] Devara Puja [seeking divine intervention to go ahead]; [4] Kushmanda Homa; [5] Gowri Puja; [6] Kanya Dhana [7] Kankana Bhandha; [8] Laja Homa; [9] Sapthapadi and [10] Mangalya dharana.

All these shastras have specific reasons and are meant for the prosperity of the couple and long & happy relationship. A good purohit would be able to give a scientific explanation behind these shastras. Most communities follow these customs, in their own tradition [sampradaya]. Within each community itself, traditions vary from one family to another. Since it is more a social event, rather than a religious one, many other rites and traditions have also evolved around the above framework.

Whether Brahmin or NB, any good purohit / vaadhyaar can take you through these steps.

I read a post about Gandharva form of marriages for inter - caste couple. It is a kind of marriage, but not suggested. Marriage is a contract between the couple in Abrahamic religions and for them these kind of marriages are OK. In our Sanathana belief, a husband and wife are sahadharmins. All the punya and paapa are shared during the marital life. For a couple to become eligible for that position they have to perform some rites. In the best interest of the couple, the shastras are best performed.

<blockquote data-quote="Narendra KV" data-source="post: 452809" data-attributes="member: 92681">All marriage shastras come to us from the Grihya Sutras. The outline for marriage is common for all castes and communities within the Hindu fold. The Sankhyayana and Ashvalayana Gruhya Sutra [we follow in South India] mention the following steps - [1] Nishchitartha [engagement] - all negotiations and conditions put forth by both families are documented and the engagement is finalized]; [2] Punyaha &amp; Nandi - seeking permission from ancestors for this ritual to go ahead; [3] Devara Puja [seeking divine intervention to go ahead]; [4] Kushmanda Homa; [5] Gowri Puja; [6] Kanya Dhana [7] Kankana Bhandha; [8] Laja Homa; [9] Sapthapadi and [10] Mangalya dharana. All these shastras have specific reasons and are meant for the prosperity of the couple and long &amp; happy relationship. A good purohit would be able to give a scientific explanation behind these shastras. Most communities follow these customs, in their own tradition [sampradaya]. Within each community itself, traditions vary from one family to another. Since it is more a social event, rather than a religious one, many other rites and traditions have also evolved around the above framework.Whether Brahmin or NB, any good purohit / vaadhyaar can take you through these steps. I read a post about Gandharva form of marriages for inter - caste couple. It is a kind of marriage, but not suggested. Marriage is a contract between the couple in Abrahamic religions and for them these kind of marriages are OK. In our Sanathana belief, a husband and wife are sahadharmins. All the punya and paapa are shared during the marital life. For a couple to become eligible for that position they have to perform some rites. In the best interest of the couple, the shastras are best performed.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Narendra KV, post: 452809, member: 92681"] All marriage shastras come to us from the Grihya Sutras. The outline for marriage is common for all castes and communities within the Hindu fold. The Sankhyayana and Ashvalayana Gruhya Sutra [we follow in South India] mention the following steps - [1] Nishchitartha [engagement] - all negotiations and conditions put forth by both families are documented and the engagement is finalized]; [2] Punyaha & Nandi - seeking permission from ancestors for this ritual to go ahead; [3] Devara Puja [seeking divine intervention to go ahead]; [4] Kushmanda Homa; [5] Gowri Puja; [6] Kanya Dhana [7] Kankana Bhandha; [8] Laja Homa; [9] Sapthapadi and [10] Mangalya dharana. All these shastras have specific reasons and are meant for the prosperity of the couple and long & happy relationship. A good purohit would be able to give a scientific explanation behind these shastras. Most communities follow these customs, in their own tradition [sampradaya]. Within each community itself, traditions vary from one family to another. Since it is more a social event, rather than a religious one, many other rites and traditions have also evolved around the above framework. Whether Brahmin or NB, any good purohit / vaadhyaar can take you through these steps. I read a post about Gandharva form of marriages for inter - caste couple. It is a kind of marriage, but not suggested. Marriage is a contract between the couple in Abrahamic religions and for them these kind of marriages are OK. In our Sanathana belief, a husband and wife are sahadharmins. All the punya and paapa are shared during the marital life. For a couple to become eligible for that position they have to perform some rites. In the best interest of the couple, the shastras are best performed. [/QUOTE]

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