Dear Geetha,
Let me advise you as a doctor.Try to set aside some time and wonder what is troubling you.
There is something that is bothering your mind hence unable to concentrate.
You mentioned you are a single parent..may be you are facing stress in life.
When our mind is troubled its impossible even to focus on God.Thats why you feel unable to pray in the manner you want.
Have a heart to heart talk with someone you trust and try to find out whats troubling you.
Do not rush into elaborate chantings and poojas..try out a simple relaxing exercise first of sitting down quietly in your pooja room and focus your mind on your Ishta Devata.
Do not even think of lighting the lamp even yet.
Try to relax your mind..do this for a few days..doesnt matter even if you miss a few days. It should not stress you up and no one is taking attendance for you too.
First few days try just to calm yourself and through out the day you can try listening to what ever songs you like even film songs is fine as it can help us relax.
Try not to get too religious too soon..even watching movies is fine after all god is in all forms even in Shah Rukh Khan..so go see which movie you like.
Ok next step is..once you are relaxed..try to ask yourself what is troubling you?
Try to figure out what the problem is..if you can solve it find a solution if you cant solve it leave it to God to show you a way out.
In life sometimes not all problems have solutions..some problems are lessons for us to learn from..so no use cracking our head trying to figure out too much.
Once you are done at this stage..I guess you should be ready to do poojas the way you desire.
Most important..do not compare yourself with anyone else in terms of religious discipline.
No two people are alike and God loves everyone the same anyway.
take care
renu
