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It is not her fault! The fault of English!

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Dear Govinda Ji

We've got to be proud - Bihar seems far ahead of the European Union: Read on, if you have not already
done so:

English or German, What shall it be???
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

- Quoted from a mail received.

Yay Yem

 
Anand Manohar said:
Dear Govinda Ji

We've got to be proud - Bihar seems far ahead of the European Union: Read on, if you have not already
done so:

English or German, What shall it be???
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

- Quoted from a mail received.

Yay Yem
Click to expand...

OH MY GOD!!! Everything else seem to be fine except replacing "th" with "z" and that of eliminating the silent "e" at the end of the word.

:boom: :jaw:
 
I am reminded of Gandhiji (Mohandas Karamchand variety, not the Sonia, Rahul types) who made the famous observation about "Gutter Inspector". If I were the person who had the opportunity to video shoot that classroom, I would not have done this; instead I would have empathised with that teacher, purchased an English primer from Patna or any nearby town and given it to that madam for her use. Even now I am prepared to do that if someone will give me complete postal address of that lady.

Note: I may be a Brahmin Basher for some people here, but I don't like bashing poverty and ignorance, from an imaginary high pedestal.
 
You guys haven't heard Manglish..Malaysian English.

When we meet a fellow Malaysian we speak it.

Manglish is a combination of English,Malay and Cantonese/Hokkien(Chinese Dialects)..

Example :

1) Have you already taken your meals?

Manglish : You oredi makan ah?

Oredi=already(Chinese style)

Makan =Malay word for eating/meals/food

Ah=Chinese slang word for past tense.


2)Are you mad.

Manglish : Hey you gila ah?

Gila= Malay for mad

Ah=sometimes also used in present tense when in a question(Chinese style)

I use Manglish when I speak with patients who are not too well versed with English and further more speaking perfect English all the time might also be considered "Action".

The word "Action" is used in Manglish to denote a person who is a Show Off.

So ah I don wan to be action lah..so I speak Manglish...better maa..
(I don't want to be known as a show off..so I speak Manglish..cos its better)

Maa is a Chinese slang word for "isn't it"or ""it is" depending on the sentence.
 
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Bengali Speaking people first construct English words in Bengali in their mind and then speak.

Since they have V for B, they always pronounce and spell my name as PADMANAVAN instead of Padmanabhan.
 
P.J. said:
Bengali Speaking people first construct English words in Bengali in their mind and then speak.

Since they have V for B, they always pronounce and spell my name as PADMANAVAN instead of Padmanabhan.
Click to expand...


Dear Sir,

I thought it is the other way round for BONGs.

They make every V into a B.
and every A in the middle of word into an O

Vijay becomes Bijoy

Viswa becomes Biswa

Raghuvar becomes Raghubar.

Kajal becomes Kajol.

Namita becomes Nomita.

So I guess a Bong will say 'I Lobe You' instead of I Love You!
 
Renukaji

I wonder If we also construct English words into Tamil First and then speak

Udambu sowkiyama ? Body Good?

Poittu varene ...... Going and Coming...


Probably many more

he he
 
Govinda said:
Hinglish speaking Bihar Teacher!

The Lady teacher, spells english words as she pronounces. That's how, we do in Sanskrit, Tamil or any Indian languages [even Hebrew, arabic, persian, etc...]

It is not her fault! It is fault of English, made up from Latin, German, Ancient Greek and what not?!

Old English! Proof is here!

Oops! english teaches us hypocrisy ;)
Click to expand...

Dear Govinda,

English is a non-phonetic language. In Indian languages, for every sound we have an alphabet. English alphabets are non- phonetic and sounds are made up of letters. Words in English are not pronounced as spelt and vice versa. It is not a shortcoming of that language. It is characteristic of English and some other European languages also. Since English is foreign to us, we obviously cannot avoid accentuated speech. Tolerance is required.

When an Englishman speaks Indian languages with an accent, we accept it. Our minds have been set to do so.

Accentuated speech is largely owing to difference in vocal chord anatomy. Our vocal chords are a little different from the Englishmen. Hence some of the phoneams one utters is difficult for the other and hence absent in the respective languages. For example the 'zha' of Tamil, is difficult for an Englishman to pronounce coz his vocal chords are structured so. If one understands this basic truth, one would develop tolerance.

Yet another feature is Mother Tongue Influence. We tend to speak a foreign language as we speak our own. Every language has a syntax, idiom, phrase etc. We attempt to impose our Mother Tongue characteristics on a foreign language, take liberties and hence err in effective communication.

Regards,
Iyer
 
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P.J. said:
Renukaji

I wonder If we also construct English words into Tamil First and then speak

Udambu sowkiyama ? Body Good?

Poittu varene ...... Going and Coming...


Probably many more

he he
Click to expand...


Tamil is rather more instructive....

E.g:

Wash your hands... pOi kai alamindu vA (go, wash hands and come)
Bring me water ... pOi thanni edutthu vA (go, get water and come)

[why add 'poi' and 'vA ?] May be there are lot of tamil-day-dreamers!
 
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Govinda said:
Tamil is rather more instructive....

E.g:

Wash your hands... pOi kai alamindu vA (go, wash hands and come)
Bring me water ... pOi thanni edutthu vA (go, get water and come)

[why add 'poi' and 'vA ?] May be there are lot of tamil-day-dreamers!
Click to expand...

Dear Sir,

It is the same even in Malay.

Bring me water...pergi bawa air mari (go bring water and come here)
 
Work instructions are a must to do a job without mistakes. Otherwise what is the need for ISO 9000? The west or the english have learnt it now; we always knew and practiced.

Govinda said:
Tamil is rather more instructive....

E.g:

Wash your hands... pOi kai alamindu vA (go, wash hands and come)
Bring me water ... pOi thanni edutthu vA (go, get water and come)

[why add 'poi' and 'vA ?] May be there are lot of tamil-day-dreamers!
Click to expand...
 
Dear Govinda Ji

Your post #12 [ Yay Yem ? - that's actually copied style ]

That was copied from the captain of Chennai Super Kings, who appears on the TV with a floral shirt
and a roomy checked, multi-coloured, lungi [ worn half-mast ] and a cricket bat casually resting on his
shoulder [ picturise Hanuman and His Gadhai ], when he announces "

"I yam Yem Yes Dhoni, from Chennai, mind yit !"

Yay Yem
 
sarang said:
Work instructions are a must to do a job without mistakes. Otherwise what is the need for ISO 9000? The west or the english have learnt it now; we always knew and practiced.
Click to expand...
Sarang, I followed the ISO standard of 'Going and Coming' but forgot to 'Wash hands'. Instead use 'wash hands thoroughly' , 'kaiya thEcchi alambu'.
 
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