An iyer boy(Brahacharanam) is in love with an Iyengar girl. Basically they are vadakalai iyengars.The love is one sided but the iyers are willing to extend their hands to shake off this Lord Shiva - Lord Vishnu separation ... Will thy love be accepted by iyengars ???
-
This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
-
Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.
Iyer - Iyengar marriage possibility ???
- Thread starter laxman.k.a
- Start date
- Status
H
hoover
Guest
why not, when a large section of brahmin society is harping the tune of caste barier breaking bussiness. they will have to accept. It is trillion times good than an icm.
Brahmanyan
Active member
Iyer - Iyengar marriage possibility ???
Why not, Sri Ramanuja himself was born to Asuri Keshava Somayaji Deekshitar and Kanthimathi belonging to a Smartha family. There is no scriptural bar for marriage between Smartha and Sri Vaishnava sects of Brahmins. But if the Love is one sided where is the question of marriage?
Regards,
Brahmanyan.
Dear Sri Laxman,
Why not, Sri Ramanuja himself was born to Asuri Keshava Somayaji Deekshitar and Kanthimathi belonging to a Smartha family. There is no scriptural bar for marriage between Smartha and Sri Vaishnava sects of Brahmins. But if the Love is one sided where is the question of marriage?
Regards,
Brahmanyan.
@Mr.hoover and @ Brahmanyan
Sir,
Many thanks for your responses. I should have also mentioned that the girl is just too good ( which by the way is no exaggeration) and the sole reason it is one sided is because of the fact that the girl is too devoted and loyal to her parents and does not want to take any of these decisions onto her hands on the thought that its not only for her to decide and the boy respects her totally on this and is even more proud that he is in love with such a good woman(absolute goddess) even though knowing, there is a possibility that the proposal might not go through. But he has hope, hope a good thing , a good thing never dies.
Sir,
Many thanks for your responses. I should have also mentioned that the girl is just too good ( which by the way is no exaggeration) and the sole reason it is one sided is because of the fact that the girl is too devoted and loyal to her parents and does not want to take any of these decisions onto her hands on the thought that its not only for her to decide and the boy respects her totally on this and is even more proud that he is in love with such a good woman(absolute goddess) even though knowing, there is a possibility that the proposal might not go through. But he has hope, hope a good thing , a good thing never dies.
"Hariyum Sivanum Ondru, Ariyathan Vayile Mannu"
Laxmana,
Looks like a lots of Butterfly flying around!! Good luck to the Boy and Girl.
thanks,
Laxmana,
Looks like a lots of Butterfly flying around!! Good luck to the Boy and Girl.
thanks,
laxman,
you better take the bull by the horns. otherwise you are going to lose her, and spend the rest of your life, thinking about 'what if".
'what if' are the saddest words in any language.
what have you lose? go after her you idiot. don't goddess her. she is a female, with feelings and make sure that you want her.
don't wait man. what if someone with more guts wins her over. don't worry about the parents. that will sort itself out.
you are the typical brahmin boy, i always feel for, and fear about. ...
girls too like some dash. some thudukku. don't be a wimp. after her young lad, and you will have everyone in this forum cheering for you.
God Bless
i perfectly second sri kunjuppu ji.
lakshman, please do woo the sweet goddess, buy her flowers, send her sweet nothings thru SMS, talk your heart out to her, make her feel that she wants you and only you in her life...cmon young man, take it to the next step...
lakshman, please do woo the sweet goddess, buy her flowers, send her sweet nothings thru SMS, talk your heart out to her, make her feel that she wants you and only you in her life...cmon young man, take it to the next step...
kunjuppu sir,
If we had a few coaches like you in India, we would have won a few more medals @ CWG
thanks,
Brahmanyan
Active member
Iyer - Iyengar marriage possibility ???
Dear Sri Laxman,
When I read your response about the boy eulogising the girl to the level of "absolute Goddess", I get little apprehensive whether this is the effect of age related "infatuation" or real love. Better tell this boy to be sure about this, before venturing further to take the Bull by the horns, to avoid the risk of getting hurt later.
Regards,
Brahmanyan.
Dear Sri Laxman,
When I read your response about the boy eulogising the girl to the level of "absolute Goddess", I get little apprehensive whether this is the effect of age related "infatuation" or real love. Better tell this boy to be sure about this, before venturing further to take the Bull by the horns, to avoid the risk of getting hurt later.
Regards,
Brahmanyan.
Last edited:
I see few red flags. I request Sri. Laxman to show me I am wrong, please. Firstly, the girl being very devoted and very loyal to the parents is good. Only such girls are suitable to have a serious love 'thingy' ( I did not use the word 'affair' because, the word 'affair' may change the meaning); if the boy can't see that, it is one strike against the boy.
Secondly the boy 'respects her totally on her not willing to take decision in her own hands'. This is strike two against him. Why would he worry about what she thinks? If he wants her, then he should arrogantly approach. If the boy 'totally respects her decision', then it is already 'game over'. If the boy even doubts 'his proposal may not go through', then his proposal will not go through. This is a huge strike three against him.
Hope? Hope is good thing indeed; a good thing never dies, but only she marries someone else!
A girl should feel 'wanted'. The boy should be prepared to put a fight for her, and start a fight for her. He should have the guts to walk up to her and say 'I want to marry you'. Even better would be to walk up to her and declare 'you are going to be my wife'; but such an arrogance should be backed up with similar actions. Girls would go putty for such a young man.
This case is a piece of cake, provided the girl is not annoyed by the young man already. Even if she is neutral about that young man, this can be done very well. Kindly provide more details about the boy..employed? decent income? modern or madi-sanchy? ready to marry? (or just munching on the idea?)
If we know more information, a game plan can be prepared. There is nothing wrong in trapping and catching a girl; she has all the rest of the life to get even!
Cheers!
sravna
Well-known member
I think both are mature enough the way they are described. But I think they shouldn't feel any unceratainties at this stage after having started loving. Parents are lot less obstinate these days when it comes to marraige of their children and I think factors such as sect is a minor one.
H
hoover
Guest
better you go directly to the parents as soon as possible and not with some hooligan friend. GO with any man of propriety and skill of speking, of our own caste.formally propose her. And not forget to convene to her father through the middleman ' i am not willing to take anything from you except the girl, one rupee and coconut'
Dont underestimate Brahmin . modesty is a good value. we are not like dogs who go after**** clamouring. we are brave where bravery needed. Indias first Paramvir Chakra was awarded to a brahmin Maj.Somnath Sharma. and In recent Kargil war paramveer chakra was awarded again to a brahmin i.e. Manojkumar Pande. The person who killed record number of gangsters Pradeep Sharma is also a brhmin. and most powerful politician india ever has was also a brahmin i.e. Mrs. Indira Gandhi.
We belong to that race which is standing next to god. and so the properties also. we are more delicate than fowers when matters of love and such romantic, human situations arise. and hard as vajra when standing for truth.
Dont underestimate Brahmin . modesty is a good value. we are not like dogs who go after**** clamouring. we are brave where bravery needed. Indias first Paramvir Chakra was awarded to a brahmin Maj.Somnath Sharma. and In recent Kargil war paramveer chakra was awarded again to a brahmin i.e. Manojkumar Pande. The person who killed record number of gangsters Pradeep Sharma is also a brhmin. and most powerful politician india ever has was also a brahmin i.e. Mrs. Indira Gandhi.
We belong to that race which is standing next to god. and so the properties also. we are more delicate than fowers when matters of love and such romantic, human situations arise. and hard as vajra when standing for truth.
Either the couple should discard both Shiva-Vishnu for the purpose of marriage or accept that both are venerable gods only. Like all other caste wars, the discard will go on under one pretext or the other. Both the deities or godheads are the manifestation of supreme power. Like casteism in Indian politics it suits the groups. I do not find much difference between 'Allaho-Akbar' and 'Marandhum Matrarai Thozhom'. I doubt god himself would want to interfere, to go by the stand he has taken, vide "Gita". In his advanced evolution, man might not have hair, nails and teeth. But I doubt he will ever shed his bigotry. Be that as it may. One side love is half-madness. It can go on in films, TV Twists (I will call serials as such only), etc. In fact, there should be a law to ban this non-sense. No sensible person can give recognition to such thing. Love itself is a funny invention, notwithstanding the fact that the whole world is raving about it. It is just infatuation or mild insanity which could develop into love or sheer madness.
Love can come after years of give and take, facing difficulties together in life, forgiving each others mistakes and so on. The love between a mother and her newborn is the foundation for the above. All other talks are just trash.
Love can come after years of give and take, facing difficulties together in life, forgiving each others mistakes and so on. The love between a mother and her newborn is the foundation for the above. All other talks are just trash.
Suresoo,
Thank you for the support.
Kunjuppu and happyhindu
Thanks for your support too.You are kinda right. He is a typical brahmin boy who is not interested in
any heroics or theatrics. He is planning to go for her and propose to her formally by talking with her
parents.
Brahmanyan,
Am sure the boy knows what it is sir.But the fact that "Asuri Keshava Somayaji Deekshitar and
Kanthimathi belonging to a Smartha family" is not true as some say. Most of the Vasihnava sects say
this...One of the popular gita preacher Velukudi Krishnan swamy has the same stand point on this that it is erroneous. What is your take sir ???
Regards,Laxman
Raghy
Well, thanks for your comments sir.I should've mentioned earlier that the gal is in neutral grounds
and she wont commit unless and otherwise her parents decide for her. And boy respects her decision
meaning that he likes her for that "respect n loyalty to elders attitude" and it doest mean that he's
giving up on her.And for the final part where its not that he's in doubt but, he believes whatever is
done must be done with elders blessings with their happyness . Some iyengars families are very
vigorous in their ways and he's ready for it. He's an eternal optimist . And boy is employed and
earningly handsomely, waiting for the girl to do with her studies.
And i appreciate your humour side of catching and trapping but i think no game plans are needed
when it comes to life issues and i think it is wrong to trap a women where its not only disrespectful but
also kind of belittling them. Righteous path will serve.
Regards,
Laxman
Sravna
Hopefully, but i must again mention that girl is neutral. But these days there are some families not iyengars in particular who are very vigorous in their ways. Its good if all are in the way as u say for the unity of Brahmanism.
Regards,
Laxman
Hoover
Rightly said ,that is exactly what he has in mind.
Thanks.
Iyyarooraan
I have to disagree with you here.Guess your perception is very clear when you compare it with the
one's that are shown in cinemas and serials. In love, madness and illusions never comes into play. If it
does, simply it is not one.I guess it jus takes trust, respect and affection to love anyone or anything in
this world.As u rightly indicated the love between a mother and a new born baby.Only anything other
than this is trash.
Regards,
Laxman
Last edited:
Shri Laxman
My point is the modern youngs are influenced by cinemas/tv twists. As you say, trust, respect and affection can not be built instantly. Modern day love is the product chatted up and 'generated' at college lobbies and theatre foyers and the youth instantly, love, trust and 'understand' their counterparts whereas they are not able to do the same with their parents who have reared them up at least up to this level, i.e. about 16/20 years.
My point is the modern youngs are influenced by cinemas/tv twists. As you say, trust, respect and affection can not be built instantly. Modern day love is the product chatted up and 'generated' at college lobbies and theatre foyers and the youth instantly, love, trust and 'understand' their counterparts whereas they are not able to do the same with their parents who have reared them up at least up to this level, i.e. about 16/20 years.
Absolutely true sir, absolutely true ... But that doesnt fit into all cases
Sri Laxman said -
Greetings. What can I say! Wrong to trap a woman!? I did not know this! Sir, it is only right to trap a woman. I don't know what you understood by 'trapping', though. It is very important, a woman should feel 'wanted'. If one likes to marry a girl, one should tell the girl 'I love you' as often as possible, and continue to say that after marriage as often as possible. One should trick her as often as possible, so that she would look forward for those moments. You may do all these things while she is studying. It should not affect her studying. By the way,many more persons know these methods; if you don't walk in and make her feel important, someone else will.
May I ask you something, please? Why don't you ask your friend to say the things I wrote to that girl to see if she likes them? Well, I wrote from my experiences; I don't know if the girls have changed since.
Cheers!
...when it comes to life issues and i think it is wrong to trap a women where its not only disrespectful but
also [COLOR=#DA7911 ! important][COLOR=#DA7911 ! important]kind[/COLOR][/COLOR]
of belittling them. Righteous path will serve.
Greetings. What can I say! Wrong to trap a woman!? I did not know this! Sir, it is only right to trap a woman. I don't know what you understood by 'trapping', though. It is very important, a woman should feel 'wanted'. If one likes to marry a girl, one should tell the girl 'I love you' as often as possible, and continue to say that after marriage as often as possible. One should trick her as often as possible, so that she would look forward for those moments. You may do all these things while she is studying. It should not affect her studying. By the way,many more persons know these methods; if you don't walk in and make her feel important, someone else will.
May I ask you something, please? Why don't you ask your friend to say the things I wrote to that girl to see if she likes them? Well, I wrote from my experiences; I don't know if the girls have changed since.
Cheers!
laxman,
each girl is different. but one thing that is common, i think, is the feeling that they are #1 for their paramour.
switch sides. would you rather be comforted by an indifferent or lukewarm attitude from your beloved, or something more than that. how much more depends on the individual. to some it may be an sms every hour. others just some malli flowers sneaked inside the house without the knowledge of the parents or a coffee together.
but there should be distinct movement towards closeness. getting to know the persona - both good and bad, and finding that the overall positive aspects outweigh the negative ones.
the process of this discovery is among the most entertaining and fun part of a courtship. there are no responsibilities which comes after setting up a household. there is a sense of illicitness, esp in india, maybe, but as the saying goes, 'all the world loves lovers'.
go for it. gently. carefully. firmly. lead and do not be indecisive or frightened of the parents. be a man. best wishes.
each girl is different. but one thing that is common, i think, is the feeling that they are #1 for their paramour.
switch sides. would you rather be comforted by an indifferent or lukewarm attitude from your beloved, or something more than that. how much more depends on the individual. to some it may be an sms every hour. others just some malli flowers sneaked inside the house without the knowledge of the parents or a coffee together.
but there should be distinct movement towards closeness. getting to know the persona - both good and bad, and finding that the overall positive aspects outweigh the negative ones.
the process of this discovery is among the most entertaining and fun part of a courtship. there are no responsibilities which comes after setting up a household. there is a sense of illicitness, esp in india, maybe, but as the saying goes, 'all the world loves lovers'.
go for it. gently. carefully. firmly. lead and do not be indecisive or frightened of the parents. be a man. best wishes.
Mr.Lakshman,
The subject of this thread gives a wrong impression that this is the first case of a "LOVE AFFAIR" in the history of Iyengars and Iyers.Quite number of iyer boys marrying iyengar girls and vice-versa are already there.
If this case is going to be the first of this kind then it may have to be viewed as
a novel case.This is another case of a love affair in tamilbrahmin group.
Will you kindly elucidate what is 'SPECIAL OR EXTRAORDINARY' in this case?
The subject of this thread gives a wrong impression that this is the first case of a "LOVE AFFAIR" in the history of Iyengars and Iyers.Quite number of iyer boys marrying iyengar girls and vice-versa are already there.
If this case is going to be the first of this kind then it may have to be viewed as
a novel case.This is another case of a love affair in tamilbrahmin group.
Will you kindly elucidate what is 'SPECIAL OR EXTRAORDINARY' in this case?
The iyengars and iyers were not encouraging marriage between them.Because their way of daily life was different.But nowadays no iyer or iyengar are living with seperate entity.With heavy heart I would like to mention whether iyer or iyengar the youngsters without elders living with them adapt their habbits from their neighbours wether they are brahmins or non brahmins.As such the daily way of life in metros are alike among people of all castes.So a Iyer boy can happily marry an Iyengar girl and vice versa.
I
Iyer
Guest
When Kamalahasan, an Iyengar, married Vani Ganapathy, an Iyer, why not an Iyer boy marry an Iyengar girl !!!!!!!
Point one Vaniganapathi is not living with Kamalahasan Mr. Iyer wants such things to happen. Point two the Hasan family declares that they have no faith and they are neither iyer or iyengar. Please try to give better examples.
How about a couple of iyer iyengar stories here
We know a iiy couple here in their 30s, handsome and luvvy duvvy all the time. Both I and iy like to take ownership of these. At one gathering, the iy declared that this I girl did not find any I boy attractive enough and so jumped to the iy side to pick a mate.
Pat came the reply from the I crowd – that this guy found the iy girls so troublesome, that the I girl was a heroine, who took ‘pity’ on him and ‘rescued’ him from the iy vixens. The said couple ofcourse were in a world of their own, and completely ignored this chit chat about them.
A few years ago I met a palghat girl, in mid 20s in London England a distant relative. Under pressure to get married and wishing to marry a south Indian (read tamil Brahmin) she was finding London a desert. I suggested that she move to nyc and she took my advice and wangled a transfer to nyc.
a year later came a wedding invite – she had no less than 20 tambram boys in wall street chasing (or her clipped English accent) and she could pick and chose – she chose the iyengar. The boy during the wedding wore the naamam and yellow veshti, his side in iyengar madisar, the girl wore iyer madisar and so did her mother.
The wedding looked cute, putting to rest, my mother’s fears expressed some 45 years ago, that iyers and iyengar madisars wont mix. I found them mixed rather well including arthi and every other joint function.
I am quite sure, there are humour in every such engagement. It is for us to discover and narrate. Personally whenever I meet mixed marriages of any type, I am always curious as to how these started and how it ended. Very very entertaining stories – all of them.
We know a iiy couple here in their 30s, handsome and luvvy duvvy all the time. Both I and iy like to take ownership of these. At one gathering, the iy declared that this I girl did not find any I boy attractive enough and so jumped to the iy side to pick a mate.
Pat came the reply from the I crowd – that this guy found the iy girls so troublesome, that the I girl was a heroine, who took ‘pity’ on him and ‘rescued’ him from the iy vixens. The said couple ofcourse were in a world of their own, and completely ignored this chit chat about them.
A few years ago I met a palghat girl, in mid 20s in London England a distant relative. Under pressure to get married and wishing to marry a south Indian (read tamil Brahmin) she was finding London a desert. I suggested that she move to nyc and she took my advice and wangled a transfer to nyc.
a year later came a wedding invite – she had no less than 20 tambram boys in wall street chasing (or her clipped English accent) and she could pick and chose – she chose the iyengar. The boy during the wedding wore the naamam and yellow veshti, his side in iyengar madisar, the girl wore iyer madisar and so did her mother.
The wedding looked cute, putting to rest, my mother’s fears expressed some 45 years ago, that iyers and iyengar madisars wont mix. I found them mixed rather well including arthi and every other joint function.
I am quite sure, there are humour in every such engagement. It is for us to discover and narrate. Personally whenever I meet mixed marriages of any type, I am always curious as to how these started and how it ended. Very very entertaining stories – all of them.
R
R. Ramanujan
Guest
I wish to share a personal. One of my close relatives has got hitched in love marriage(this i got to know from the vambu that my amma shared with chitti) recently got married. he is vadakalai iyengaar(VI). and the girl is also a VI. So amma told my chitti that aama aama ithu paartu thaan(VI) love pannirkanga.
Meaning he must have asked her, neenga VI AA? she must have replied aama naan oru VI Thaan. aanaal neenga ithu yean kaetkareenga?
boy- apdi naan namma rendu perum love pannalam. inthanga oru red rose.
ha ha ha. its 100 percent true.
Meaning he must have asked her, neenga VI AA? she must have replied aama naan oru VI Thaan. aanaal neenga ithu yean kaetkareenga?
boy- apdi naan namma rendu perum love pannalam. inthanga oru red rose.
ha ha ha. its 100 percent true.
- Status
Share this page
Share this page
Latest ads
-
Wanted [Cook Wanted] Female cook wanted in karapakkam Rajiv Gandhi salaiNeed a part time female home cook in karapakkam chennai
- Krishna65 (+0 /0 /-0)
- Updated:
- Expires
-
Wanted [Others] Daily food deliveryNeed daily Tamil Brahmin vegetarian food delivery at Electronic City in Bengaluru.. any pointers...
- ksr1561 (+0 /0 /-0)
- Updated:
-
Wanted Fulltime care person neededLooking for a fulltime lady who can look after 80 yr old person who has dementia. She can manage...
- vashok (+0 /0 /-0)
- Updated:
- Expires
-
Free [Bride Wanted] Bride WantedLooking for Bride - Family Oriented and brought up from Cultured Family
- SRIKANT S -(Bride Wanted) (+0 /0 /-0)
- Updated:
- Expires
-
