kaadhal tips

[kunjuppu]

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not ever being in kaadhal, me trying to give tips is much alike the blind man appreciating mona lisa.

still, kadhal is a fact of life for many many folks. my younger sister had kadhal, albeit with a TB boy, and hence easily acquired parental approval.

my children have kadhal. we watch vinnaithaandivaruvaaya together. in this song hosanna, we have simbu jumping like a bull on high. i asked my younger son if this is believable, and the wise youngster replied in the affirmative.

openly, we have, raghy and nachi, as kadhal mannars of this forum. there may be the hidden kadhalars - RVR? swami? after all, kadhal can attack anyone?

we have our lady kadhalars here, maybe? renu, who does not participate here any more. happy hindu, made happier hindu, at remembrances of her kadhal.

krs who reads, but not writes, is also a known kadhalar, of his own admission.

i used to think, that one needs to have a six pack body, brilliantined hair and gift of the gab to practice kadhal. but when i attend the numerous weddings and see those ordinary looking guys, and someone whispers that this is a loww marriage, i am impressed.

i still think, along with lady drummers, lady politicians, lady kadhalars are among my favourite set of characters.

so, here, from theory, i hand over to experience...

 

[nachi naga]

k,

its nice thread,hopefully members will chirp in with their tweets.

1991 in last century,is indeed a memorable year.its like magic.became 'tun toon boing' seeing my lady love.used my friends shamelessly for 'jihad pyaar' aka 'kadhal kadamai' ,ok my own wierdo definition.my friendsshamelessly did shameles things for 'kadhal mannan' and 'kadhal manni' .my best friend is my mummy dear.she gave me all the freedom in the world.my uncles,aunts,siblings,spiritual guru,all blessed me.

letters,pictures,restuarants,bike ridings,figts galore ,jealousy,snide looks of other girls,no pre-marital sexual union ,i am so kshatriya hee hee....anyways all worth it becoz this sort of 'kadhal' is godsgift or lord kama devan himself....i bow to thee and thank you...

 

[RVR]

Kunjuppu ji,

I really appreciate you for starting a thread meant for our children at this age

You wrote in one of the threads that you are still fascinated by `Thrisha'.

Let me admit here that I am not a saint. But at the same time, I never had any love affair at any point of time till date.

Now I don't want to do anything which my children are suppose to do.

At my young age I was definitely fascinated by few cinema actresses like Hema Malini (Dream Girl) and Latha (MGR's heroine). My wife will immediately make fun if I watch any serial or advertisement involving these two actresses.

As you rightly said, let us leave it to our youngsters to take over from now.

All the best

 

[kunjuppu]

k,

its nice thread,hopefully members will chirp in with their tweets.

1991 in last century,is indeed a memorable year.its like magic.became 'tun toon boing' seeing my lady love.used my friends shamelessly for 'jihad pyaar' aka 'kadhal kadamai' ,ok my own wierdo definition.my friendsshamelessly did shameles things for 'kadhal mannan' and 'kadhal manni' .my best friend is my mummy dear.she gave me all the freedom in the world.my uncles,aunts,siblings,spiritual guru,all blessed me.

letters,pictures,restuarants,bike ridings,figts galore ,jealousy,snide looks of other girls,no pre-marital sexual union ,i am so kshatriya hee hee....anyways all worth it becoz this sort of 'kadhal' is godsgift or lord kama devan himself....i bow to thee and thank you...

clear as mud man!!

go slowly, step by step...take your time.. installments by the day?

more details

 

[sankara_sharmah]

My favorite subject. Thank you for starting it. I learnt about காதல் from Kumudam. My first Love story was Sivakamiyin Sabadam which I read when I was 7.

I am an expert on the subject having fallen in and out of Love with so many girls.

Please read the novel

காதலென்ன கத்திரிக்காயா?

Your definition of Kadhalar is wrong. Kadhal does not and need not always end in marriage. Have you not heard of காதல் after marriage?

Types of காதல்

பள்ளிகூட காதல்
கல்லூரி காதல்
Office காதல்

ஒருதலை காதல்
கண்டதும் காதல்

There are people who believe that only கண்டதும் காதல் is the real காதல்.

 

[Dr.T.N.Jambunathan]

This is the the post Manadu effect All of us bitten by Tamil and Tamil culture bug தமிழனுக்கு காதலும் வீரமும் இரு கண் போன்றவை. " என் வாளும் உன் விழியும் சந்தித்தால் " etc. Proof of you being a பச்சை தழின் Great I enjoy:high5: Jambu

 

[kunjuppu]

being first and only son, parents actively denied kadhal for me. even to go to a movie every 2 months was a simmasoppanam. so, any talk of falling in love with girls, i probably, would have got the cane.

but kadhal existed in the india of 70s and 80s. 4 of my closest friends got kadhal, all to north indians. they have lived happily ever after, bar one, an orthodox iyengar family, who have made life miserable for him. even he says that it is worth every minute of it.

on the contrary, a couple of my even closer friends with arranged marriages have had miserable lives, one of the, sad to say, from day one.

which is what makes me think like raghy, 'have i missed out something in life?'

my children tell me i do, but not in front of their mother.

my sister, 8 years younger, found kadhal. one sign of prevalent kadhal in our home was, that no one was allowed to cricise my brother in law even to an atom level. such was/is their passion and loyalty. i am yet to see any marriages behave like this.

nachi says his mother encouraged him. did she encourage him towards a particular girl whom she found suitable?

i have repeatedly said, that if i was in the marriage current in the current times, i too, would have been termed a chopLangi or dreg, depending on your preference. to my parents, i might be the greatest son, but to a young lass, i would probably be a ammaiyotti nerd.

i dont think this should be considered as normal behaviour. atleast i have ensured that my children, if they so chose, will have not have any kadhal denied, due to their upbringing.

 

[tbs]

hi kunjuppu sir,
palakkad pattar kaadhala.....palakkad gramam kadhala?....high school kadhal palakkad gramathile?

ilamayil kaadhal thevai.....koncham viraham....koncham ekkam...
but i did wrong kaadhal...kaadhal with telugu brahmin girl ...being tamil
vadama boy...it was not materialised....only vadama girl...its kattalai..
same way my friend got kaadhal....after kaadhal realised...its same
gothra....even though vadama girl....same gothra girl summarily
rejected.....it was in 70s and 80's....koncham high school oru thalai
ragam.....college kaadhal koncham revolution....kadasiyaga
kalyanam....iraivan kodutha varam......living with fully arranged
marriage....ilamayil young age crisis....ippo middle age crisis...
apparom old age crisis....i prefer avvai shanmugi kaadhal...a typical
old age kaadhal?....


regards
tbs

 

[Dr.T.N.Jambunathan]

This is the the post Manadu effect All of us bitten by Tamil and Tamil culture bug தமிழனுக்கு காதலும் வீரமும் இரு கண் போன்றவை. " என் வாளும் உன் விழியும் சந்தித்தால் " etc. Proof of you being a பச்சை தழின் Great I enjoy:high5: Jambu

Your posting on the next day after Manadu has kindled my interest in Tamil culture. Tamils saw life in two parts as அகம் மற்றும் புறம் அகம் is Love (Khadal as you put it) & புறம் valor Person who excels in both is considered to be Tamil Icon (Complete Tamilan) and respected by society. Your posting covers the one half of Tamil culture why not a thread regarding the other half . since these two were considered as Two eyes Now read this as an after effect செம்மொழி மாநாடு

கோவை செம்மொழி மாநாட்டு பின் விளைவு .

தமிழர் வாழ்வை அகம் புறமென இரு கண்களாய் கண்டனர் இரண்டிலும் விஞ்ஜியவரையே முழு தமிழ் தலைவனாய் ஏற்றனர்

தாங்கள் அகத்தி்ல் அமிழ்ங்கி அமிழ்தம் பருகி ஆனந்த அரைத் தமிழன் நிலையில் உள்ளீர் தாங்கள் புறத்திலும் புகுந்து புறம் காணாது போர் குருதி பூசி பரணி பாடி பூர்ணத்துவம் பெறலாமே !

டாஸ்மாக் பார்" நம்மொழி" மாநாட்டின் hangover effect

தமிளன்" டாவையும், தில்லையும்" லைப்லே ரெண்டு கண்ணா கணடுகினாம்பா யவன் ரெண்டுத்லேயும் கில்லாடியோ அவந்தான் முயூ தலவன் புர்ஞ்சுதா நீ டாவுலா டக்கரா பூந்து அலப்பரை பண்ணீட்டே ஆனாலும் நீ "ஆப் " தான் கண்ணு இப்ப நீ தில்லே குத்சு அவனவன் நெஞ்சு மஞஜா சோத்தை நோண்டி டின்கட்டி தூள் கெளப்பிநாதான் நீ "புல் "கண்ணு புற(பொர)ம்போக்கு புரிதா ? Jambu:rapture:

 

[nachi naga]

k,

being first and only son, parents actively denied kadhal for me. even to go to a movie every 2 months was a simmasoppanam. so, any talk of falling in love with girls, i probably, would have got the cane.

that was the perception of my sisters,though my immdeiate sis older to me,did choose her own life partner,and got approval from parents.dad was brilliant.

but kadhal existed in the india of 70s and 80s. 4 of my closest friends got kadhal, all to north indians. they have lived happily ever after, bar one, an orthodox iyengar family, who have made life miserable for him. even he says that it is worth every minute of it.

it sure is an experiance.

on the contrary, a couple of my even closer friends with arranged marriages have had miserable lives, one of the, sad to say, from day one.

which is what makes me think like raghy, 'have i missed out something in life?'

my children tell me i do, but not in front of their mother.

north american lifestyle is way too diff,from our roots.seperation is no big deal in western culture,nor children being born out of wedlocks,is a common occurence.in fact,western style does away many ceremonial formal bindings on an union of hearts.india has way to long to catch up on this score.

my sister, 8 years younger, found kadhal. one sign of prevalent kadhal in our home was, that no one was allowed to cricise my brother in law even to an atom level. such was/is their passion and loyalty. i am yet to see any marriages behave like this.

awesome .

nachi says his mother encouraged him. did she encourage him towards a particular girl whom she found suitable?

the reason my mother being totally free was due to a reason,as my parents had suggested a match for me and the girls parents also agreed,but when i proposed marriage to the girl,being under the impression parents have consented amongst themselves,the girl gave me the rudest shock in my life and turned me down:faint2:.after getting over such a rejection,i vowed myself,never again will i let my parents interfere in choice of women,and by jove i made my choice and i can die without any regret in my life now.thats why mom became my ally after my dad died.otherwise mom was a conservative woman & confused by fathers lifestyle always.

i have repeatedly said, that if i was in the marriage current in the current times, i too, would have been termed a chopLangi or dreg, depending on your preference. to my parents, i might be the greatest son, but to a young lass, i would probably be a ammaiyotti nerd.

i dont think this should be considered as normal behaviour. atleast i have ensured that my children, if they so chose, will have not have any kadhal denied, due to their upbringing.

ammaiyotti or acchanyotti is besides the point,isn't it k?.owing to exposure,education,caste is somewhat getting less importance.why it still continues is becoz of education(class mates,or office mates),food,speech,rituals,festivals,relatives and identity which allows it flourish with minor disturbance in india.

 

[sangom]

A purely brahmanical doubt - do our Dharmasastras/Grihyasutras approve of kaadhal? If not this topic itself becomes forbidden. Then how can it be discussed in a TB forum?

 

[kunjuppu]

A purely brahmanical doubt - do our Dharmasastras/Grihyasutras approve of kaadhal? If not this topic itself becomes forbidden. Then how can it be discussed in a TB forum?

i think, we have moved away from the premises re dharmasastra approval.

if that be so, i think all of us here in this forum, are guilty of excommunication, as none of us have the kudumi . i think we practise atleast one infringement on the orthodxy and that should ban us.

so, being sensible, realistic folks that we are, we discuss everything under the sun and the moon.

 

[Nara]

... as none of us have the kudumi .

Not so fast, I do have kudumi and I can prove it. But then, I excommunicated myself....

Cheers!

 

[nachi naga]

sangom,

A purely brahmanical doubt - do our Dharmasastras/Grihyasutras approve of kaadhal? If not this topic itself becomes forbidden. Then how can it be discussed in a TB forum?

gandharva-viveha aka love marriage, a marriage by mutual consent, without any wedding ceremony.many weddings in the modern times fall under this category. the most common wedding in the Vedic tradition, however, is the vaidika-viveha, also known as the brahma-viveha.in these, friendship pledge to support each other and use the marriage as a means for self-growth.

 

[Raghy]

Sri.Kunjuppu said:-

not ever being in kaadhal, me trying to give tips is much alike the blind man appreciating mona lisa.

Sri.Kunjuppu,

You have given the best tip in kaadhal. It does not matter whether you were ever being in kaadhal or not. Kaadhal is.....'a blind man appreciating Mona Lisa'. It is not a calculated act; often times, not a rational act;

Brahmin boys (not girls) live with a lot of restrictions. Most of the restrictions are pushed by the parents. If the boys are only groomed for targetting and obtaining a professional career/ admission to professional career, such boys could lack social skills. Such boys seldom would attract outgoing girls. (Mind you, they may attract a lot of NB girls though). The parents can not be blamed either; in this competitive world, it is only natural for them to push for a comfortable furure for their children. (Although I was a rebel in my youth, I am also guilty of pushing my children. My poor son listened to me a lot; my daughter told me to dive in the nearest creek). (I was away...sorry, I could not respond to the thread earlier).

Cheers!

 

[SuryaKasyapa]

...........................................................................................

Brahmin boys (not girls) live with a lot of restrictions. Most of the restrictions are pushed by the parents. If the boys are only groomed for targetting and obtaining a professional career/ admission to professional career, such boys could lack social skills. Such boys seldom would attract outgoing girls. (Mind you, they may attract a lot of NB girls though). The parents can not be blamed either; in this competitive world, it is only natural for them to push for a comfortable furure for their children. (Although I was a rebel in my youth, I am also guilty of pushing my children. My poor son listened to me a lot; my daughter told me to dive in the nearest creek).........
Cheers!

Sri Raghy,

You have written......

The Truth,...the Pain.... the painful truth.....

Saying truth without hurt is a knack...It will get appreciated by all alike.

To criticise and oppose is easy...to empathise needs courage and conviction.



Greetings

 

[KRS]

Folks,

Let me say a few words here - even though I have pledged to that amazing 'secularist' - the Professor that I would not post anymore! I must say also that Sri Kunjuppu Ji opened up a great discussion thread, that I think needs to be discussed in a deep way. Because, everything wortwhile in life, including the best aspects of a human being springs from the eternal gift called 'love'.

I was fortunate in my life to have fallen in love, with the love of my life. And have been equally unfortunate to have lost her to the Lord of Death after almost 30 years of happy union. But then, the same thing happened again. In my case, lightning did strike twice!

Love is not about infatuation, even though it may start there. In my case, it was one look and there it was, both times. And I have been very lucky both times.

I know, this is perhaps jarring to the ears of our more conservative friends, but, I need to say that you have to walk in my mocassins a bit to understand what I am sayiing.

Long live 'Kadhal'. Because, it is one of the most purest forms of love, perhaps almost as selfless as a love of a grand father to his grand son (I know this also).

Pranams,
KRS

 

[nachi naga]

Folks,

Let me say a few words here ....

KRS

so moving that you are struck by thunderbolts twice.some strong foundation you have got built by your pithrus,maybe shukran is uccham also,krs...kadhal kadhal kadhal sadhal sadhal....

 

[tbs]

hi NN
sukran uccham...........hahaha.....maharshi viswamithra with menaka.............king dushyanta
with sakunthala,,,,,,,LOVE IS BLIND............KAADHAL JAATI PARPADILLAI...

regards
tbs

 

[nachi naga]

hi NN
sukran uccham...........hahaha.....maharshi viswamithra with menaka.............king dushyanta
with sakunthala,,,,,,,LOVE IS BLIND............KAADHAL JAATI PARPADILLAI...

regards
tbs

tbs

isn't it true?when you get the love fragrance,you do get intoxicated,wherein logic rationality or anything can sway you away.its like a graham clasping you in ecstactic feeling,it all depends how long it lasts and that sir,is a deiveega arul.

regarding jathi,as a modern tambrahm,i believe only two jathi exists.ie aan jathi & penn jathi - period.then based on personality traits,the chemistry works on the physical level

enna naa solradhu coreeeeeta ba ...nainaaaa

 

[AnanthaNarayanan]

Kaadal tragedies or bad kaadals on purana

urvasi >>>>arjun ( not cine stars) lose
indra`s son >>>>>sita devi ( resulted lost on eye)bad
soorpanaka>>>>>>>>>>rama/ lakshmana(lost ear and nose)bad

rughmani>>>>>>>>>>>krishna(win)
parvathy>>>>>>>>>siva(win)
radha>>>>>>>>>krishna
sakunthala>>>>>>dhushyantha(win)

and some more good and bad kaadal, members can add

 

[Dr.T.N.Jambunathan]

காதலிக்க நேரமிலலை காதலிப்பார் யாருமில்லை That was my romantic teen days story. But I thought Arjuna was a இதிஹாஸ புருஷன் well versed in மன்மத லீலை etc and proves himself so with சுபத்ரா கல்யாணம். But with Uloopi he is reduced a அசட்டு அம்மாஞ்ஜி to be kidnapped by her. Why this contradiction in his character?Jambu:noidea:

 

[sangom]

Kaadal tragedies or bad kaadals on purana

urvasi >>>>arjun ( not cine stars) lose
indra`s son >>>>>sita devi ( resulted lost on eye)bad
soorpanaka>>>>>>>>>>rama/ lakshmana(lost ear and nose)bad

rughmani>>>>>>>>>>>krishna(win)
parvathy>>>>>>>>>siva(win)
radha>>>>>>>>>krishna
sakunthala>>>>>>dhushyantha(win)

and some more good and bad kaadal, members can add

Dear Ananthanarayanan,

All the above incidents are about "lust" felt by the male for the female or vice versa. I always held the view that காதல்
is at best a euphemism, if not a synonym, for lust. Some people used to vehemently oppose me saying காதல்
refers to Platonic love only. Should we as TBs openly discuss and propagate such topics?

 

[nachi naga]

hey ,our murugan -------------->Valli--------------->Devyanai

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Ananthanarayanan,

All the above incidents are about "lust" felt by the male for the female or vice versa. I always held the view that காதல்
is at best a euphemism, if not a synonym, for lust. Some people used to vehemently oppose me saying காதல்
refers to Platonic love only. Should we as TBs openly discuss and propagate such topics?

sangom,

i wish to say that காதல் is different from lust. lust, to me, is the immediate tremors in the body and the urge to express it through sex. or along those lines.

காதல் is more than that. it involves the mind, the heart, the head and the whole universe. lust can be immediate, but even though we say we fall in காதல், it is more of a gradual slope that we slide into.

i talk of this not from my personal experience, but watching the experiences of my children. it is interesting to watch the process - they talk of this one person with enthusiasm, then all is quiet about this person, and then the open acknowledgement of relationship. the total span of this process may run to few months upto a year.

unlike above, lust is immediate. once satiated lust is no longer an urge.

காதல் has a little more permanence, though with western youth, as they mature in life, they can quite often fall out of காதல் as they fall into one.