Last Rites of maternal grandmother

[radhakannan]

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Hi

We wanted to clarify as to who must perform the last rites and rituals in this case:

Last rites of a Widow who has only one child who is a Daughter. Daughter is married (sumangali) and has a Son who is also married and she has a Grandson from him.

Should the Husband of the Daughter perform the rituals for her mother or her son should perform the rituals for his grandmother?

Thanks and Regards
Radha

 

[kgopalan]

Daughter"s Husband can do last rites. If the widow"s husban"s brother or his brother"s son can do last rites.

 

[sangom]

Hi

We wanted to clarify as to who must perform the last rites and rituals in this case:

Last rites of a Widow who has only one child who is a Daughter. Daughter is married (sumangali) and has a Son who is also married and she has a Grandson from him.

Should the Husband of the Daughter perform the rituals for her mother or her son should perform the rituals for his grandmother?

Thanks and Regards
Radha

The accepted Sastraic system is for the grandson through daughter to perform the cremation rites. But if this grandson is the only son of his parents and his father is alive, then the father (son-in-law of the deceased widow) can accept 'pullu' from the son and perform the rites.

If this is wrong I will like to be corrected.

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Sradha Vidhi

Summary of the rules regarding Sradha as given by Anna
Subramanian in a Tamil book titled Pithru Pooja and
another book titled Pithru yagnam by Sri.V.Srinivasan.

1. When we do Sradha to father, mother , grandfather ,
grandmother,great grandfather,great grandmother, maternal
grandfather, maternal grandmother, wife, brother of fathe
brother, biological father , biological mother, we do
Sradha aimed at three generations (Tri Purusha udhesa) .
For all others only his generation would be addressed(Yek
Purusha udesa). The Sradha where three generations are
addressed is called Parvana Vidhana and where only one
generation is addressed it is called Yekodhishta.

2. In Sradha being done by ladies in case of Father in la
mother in law, father, mother, husband, Grandfather , and
grandmother, three generations are addressed. All other
cases only one generation is addressed.

3. If Sradha is performed by someone representing a lady
child by taking authorization in the form of Durba grass,
he does not have Apavasya.(Sacred thread need not be worn
on the right shoulder).

4. When Sradha is performed for father, mother , grandfather ,
grandmother , great grandfather , great grandmother , maternal
grandfather, maternal grandmother, wife, brother of father, brother,
biological father ,biological mother, then only Homa is performed .
For others Homa is not there.

5. For all sradhas performed by women there is no Homa.

Above Compilation by P.R.Ramachander per the wishes of Maha
Periyaval of Kanchipuram

P.S.: Anna was my high school Principal from whom I learned whatever
I know about Hindu scriptures.

 

[Raji Ram]

Recently, I learnt that if the husband passes away when his wife is alive and the couple don't have children and have only unwilling,

eligible family members to perform the last rites, the widow can authorize any brahmin, whose father is NOT alive, using pullu.

Some poor brahmins do these rites for a decent payment. :sad:

 

[sarang]

P.S.: Anna was my high school Principal from whom I learned whatever
I know about Hindu scriptures.

Anna has edited, translated and interpreted many books for Ramakrishna mission, chennai. He has done a lot for tamil readers.

 

[radhakannan]

Hi All

Thank your for your responses. We are unable to understand the solution to our situation using the excerpt quoted from Anna's book.

The widow is my husband's maternal grandmother who passed away last year. The last rites were performed by my father-in-law for first 3 days.
As grandmother has no sons or relatives (my mother-in-law is the only child), the head priest insisted that the rites be handed over to my husband who is the Poutran through her daughter (i.e my mother-in-law).
My husband performed the rites, wearing his poonal on the left shoulder. This was done meticulously for last 12 months and we just completed the varshaabdeegam.

The question as to whether this is correct was raised recently by a well wisher and hence we want to clarify and seek alternate opinions. If this is not correct not then what should we do to rectify.

Thanks and Regards
Radha

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Hi All

Thank your for your responses. We are unable to understand the solution to our situation using the excerpt quoted from Anna's book.
.......
The question as to whether this is correct was raised recently by a well wisher and hence we want to clarify and seek alternate opinions. If this is not correct not then what should we do to rectify.

Thanks and Regards
Radha

The fact that there have been several members taking the time to respond to your query implies that you have had many more well wishers here than the one 'well wisher' who created confusion in your mind.

I am sure I will be reflecting the sentiments of many here, that whatever has been done has been carried out in all sincerity and that is all that matters, so, take heart and be assured that nothing is amiss.

All those who agree, say aye.

 

[sangom]

Hi All

Thank your for your responses. We are unable to understand the solution to our situation using the excerpt quoted from Anna's book.

The widow is my husband's maternal grandmother who passed away last year. The last rites were performed by my father-in-law for first 3 days.
As grandmother has no sons or relatives (my mother-in-law is the only child), the head priest insisted that the rites be handed over to my husband who is the Poutran through her daughter (i.e my mother-in-law).
My husband performed the rites, wearing his poonal on the left shoulder. This was done meticulously for last 12 months and we just completed the varshaabdeegam.

The question as to whether this is correct was raised recently by a well wisher and hence we want to clarify and seek alternate opinions. If this is not correct not then what should we do to rectify.

Thanks and Regards
Radha

Smt. Radhakannan,

I am now 75 years old. My maternal grandfather expired in 1948. My mother was the only surviving child of his, at the time of his demise. Plus, my GF was a Vaadhyaar who had a prominent place in the tabra community of that remote village. Hence, the knowledgable GhanapaaDikals and my grandfather's cousin (who also was a vaideekan) referred to the Saastra texts and decided that my father (i.e., the son-in-law of the deceased) should be authorised by my youger brother (who was just a two years old baby then) by giving a bunch of Darbha grass to my father and that my father should perform all the aparakarmas as an agent for the Karta (my younger brother), till such time my brother got married and could do Sraaddham in the proper way, with homam etc. To the doubt about what will happen if my father were to expire before my younger brother got married, the answer was that even as a Brahmachari, he (i.e., my younger brother) could perform Hiranya Sraaddham with feeding of the Braahmanas, and that on getting married, he can start pucca sraaddham.

My brother got married and my father lived long thereafter, but unfortunately, my brother's wife died (due to heart disease). He did not want to marry once again, and so he was doing Hiranya Sraaddhams for both my maternal grandparents since then. Many Vaadhaars and GhanapaaTigals have come and performed these hiranya sraaddhams and nobody has said any objection to it.

I therefore feel that since your father-in-law is alive and in case your son is the only male issue of your FIL, then your FIL should perform the rites himself. After his (your FIL's) time, it is left to your desire whether your husband should continue the annual Sraaddha. At that stage may be you can make the payment for one day's noon meals in the Poorna Mahameru Trust of the Kanchi Mutt in Chennai; I am told that this old-age home is only for brahmins and that they collect the name, gotra, etc., of the deceased person in whose memory the donation is made and make a special prayer also before the meals.