Marriage & relations

[ashwin84]

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Dear Forum Members,

What is the tradition, acceptable norms, dharma or text says on marrying your aunt's grand daughter. Age difference in a case is 6 years. Thanks!

Ashwin

 

[kunjuppu]

normally, i hesitate to use the word 'silly', in whatever sense one wishes to mean it.

but dear ashwin, in your query, i found that the term 'silly boy' would apply gleefully.

you silly boy, if you love this girl, and she loves you, go grab her, before someone else in the female starved community would. havent you not read about the dearth of tambram girls. who knows, by the time you hesitate, a millionaire may be dangling a rolls royce and 10 carat diamond, and twisted her head away from you.

just kidding man...

dont worry about sastharams. marry the girl, have a happy and contended life. and may all your troubles be only little ones

 

[Anand Manohar]

Well said Kunjuppu !

Yes Ashwin, I too strongly feel that you should do as you have been advised in post # 2 .

If the feelings are mutual, then you really shouldn't feel jittery - ha, that's very easily said - 37 years
ago, I was all nerves myself, under similar circumstances.

Wish you all the best - let's hear some good news. Who's the lucky girl, or is it to be seen who is lucky ?

Good luck

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Aswin,
Our friends have found out that you are that confused guy! :spy:

Hope you mean 'athai' or 'maami' by 'aunt'!

All the best.

 

[Anand Manohar]

Oh Tmt RR

Spare the guy - he already seems pretty shaken-up.

Guruvethunai
Yay Yem

 

[renuka]

Dear Ashwin,

If she is your aunt's grandaughter that makes her your niece isn't it?

Is the practice of marrying nieces still in vogue these days?

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

'akkA magaL' is the most sought after bride in movies too! Here is a song for you!

Kada Veedhi

 

[Anand Manohar]

Oh Dr Renu !

You are interfering with his endocrinology ! Let a cocktail of hormones - Adrenalin & Testosterone work.

Give it a chance 'yaar' [ as you usually say ]

Yay Yem

 

[renuka]

Oh Dr Renu !

You are interfering with his endocrinology ! Let a cocktail of hormones - Adrenalin & Testosterone work.

Give it a chance 'yaar' [ as you usually say ]

Yay Yem

Dear AM ji,

Yes you have a valid point....let's wait for some feedback from Ashwin.

 

[ashwin84]

Thanks for your inputs.

Please note aunt here is Dad's Sister's

And the girl is not aunt's daughter, but aunt's GRAND daughter.

She is not 'akkA magaL' in this case, she is niece.

Some folks say she is like daughter in this case. Hence the original question.

Thanks for the time

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Ashwin,

Where are you? :fish2:

 

[tbs]

hi
i think ....too much advice........he ran away from forum......lol

 

[SANDHYAV]

pazhagu or pazhakkam or pazham !!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear TBS Sir,

Newbies take time to know about our forum veterans!!

வெட்டரன் OR வெட்டறான்! :bolt:

 

[tbs]

lol....

 

[tbs]

Dear TBS Sir,

Newbies take time to know about our forum veterans!!

வெட்டரன் OR வெட்டறான்! :bolt:

hi
becoz of too much advice....he might be eloped with girl.....who knows?...lol

 

[Raji Ram]

I got a message posted by Ashwin in my mail box and many of our friends might have also seen it!

He says that 'aunt' is his dad's sister. But adds that the girl is NOT akkA magaL! Is it aNNan magaL??

A person can marry aththangA's daughter; but what about athAn's daughter??

 

[sangom]

I got a message posted by Ashwin in my mail box and many of our friends might have also seen it!

He says that 'aunt' is his dad's sister. But adds that the girl is NOT akkA magaL! Is it aNNan magaL??

A person can marry aththangA's daughter; but what about athAn's daughter??

Smt. Raji,

Athangar's daughter could be "sagotra" sometimes but athan's daughter will not be. Thus there is an advantage in choosing athan's daughter.

And this is not prohibited among tabras, I believe.

 

[Raji Ram]

Even if he has some other gothram, is not athAn equivalent to aNNan, Sangom Sir?

 

[P.J.]

Here is an apt song!!
But Chinna Idai Missing!!

அத்தைமகள் ரத்தினத்தை - Athai magal rathinathai - YouTube

 

[sangom]

Even if he has some other gothram, is not athAn equivalent to aNNan, Sangom Sir?

athAn is not equivalent to aNNA or aNNan but we now get confused because sons of periyappAs/chitthappAs as also atthais and chitthis and periyammais all have become "first cousins" thanks to English language. Only the sons of periyappAs and chitthappAs are aNNA or thampi others are athAn, and maternal cousins, though we call them aNNA or ambi, are not really blood brothers as per our sanAtana dharma beliefs.

Irrespective of all these details athAn's daughter is quite eligible to be chosen as wife at least among we tabras.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Good response by veterans for a newbie's query!! Seekirame vivaha prapthirusthu. Maangalyam thanthunaanaena mama jeevitha haethunaa / kanttae bathnaami supahae sanjeeva sarasa satham:

 

[Raji Ram]

One more doubt Sangom Sir! It is not a custom to marry the daughter of amma's sister (chithi/ periamma).

They also come under the category of 'blood brothers', right?

 

[Raji Ram]

There is only one cousin in our whole family circle who calls Ram as 'athAn' and me as 'athAn manni'!

And........ my dad had one 'athAn' who called him 'ammAnji'!

 

[tbs]

There is only one cousin in our whole family circle who calls Ram as 'athAn' and me as 'athAn manni'!

And........ my dad had one 'athAn' who called him 'ammAnji'!

hi RR madam....


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Tamil Brahmins terms for relatives

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Onnu vitta means one step away from the main - onnu vitta brother is a cousin. Onnu vitta chitthappa is father's cousin. Onnu vitta mama means mother's cousin.

In our usages, there were ( or there continues to be ) some undertones. Atthan is an endearing term. Ammanji is slightly derogatory. Atthai, being the natthanar of amma, is a dominating force in marriages. Atthai's husband, Atthimber, is generally considered to be a little innocent. Akka's husband Atthimber has to prove his innocence else he would be construed as demanding type. Macchinar is tolerable. Orpadi is always hostile. Kozhundan, if he is the youngest needs special attention. Mama is considered as "our man". Mami needs to be watched carefully. Amma's sister chitthi is acceptable. Chittahappa's wife chitthi is referred to with indifference. These are mere generalisations and not logical conclusions.

"Chumma kidaithal chittappavukku rendu", is a commonplace usage.

Hilarious blogger Anand Ramachandran once wrote on "Ambi mama". In every brahminical family, there is atleast one ambi mama. Mr.Ramachandran's write up evoked atleast two hundred responses.

In Travancore, an elderly brahminical woman was endearingly called 'Chitthi'. In Maharashtra too we refer to middle-aged women as " moushi ", a little more poignant than the dry 'aunty'.

It is 'patta' and thathi' in Kerala. Thattha and patti in Tamil nadu.

i got it from my email...