Non-brahmin cook

[sudnarayanan]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

Hi,
I am in a huge dharmasankatam here. We are a husband and wife duo who are in our twenties. Both of us are working. I somehow manage to cook bfast, lunch and dinner inspite of going to office and coming back. Our work timings are pretty cool and we are in IT. Since the cooking was becoming slightly too much of a burden, we started looking out for a brahmin cook. We found one and we were very happy with them for 5-6 months. The cook maami had back pains and she could not continue. Now I am back to managing the cooking.

The main point is, that the mind does not allow me to hire a non-brahmin cook. Their way fo cooking is generally filled with garlic and the likes, and the thought that they would have probably cooked non-veg in their house and then they come to our brahmin household and cook for us, really makes it totally unacceptable. I tried a non brahmin cook for a day. Even though what she made was ok, we two felt very uneasy after eating the food both psychologically and we felt very sick. We do follow all our traditions religiously and do poojai everyday. Some how it does not feel right to have non-brahmin cook.

I do not know whether it is only our way of thinking(I am a typical mylaporean with staunch values and tradition imbibed by parents, uncles,aunts, and grandparents) or do other brahmin members also feel the same?

Now I heard about a non brahmin cook who works for 2 Iyengar households in our apartment. She said she prefers to work only in brahmin houses. I am still confused if this setup is ok, or if we would fall into the same psychological feeling as the previous cook. I am simply not able to decide if it is right on my part to have a non-brahmin cook. Sometimes, I feel I should just put in some extra effort and get the cooking done myself.

Just wanted to find out what our community thinks.

-Sudha

 

[sankara_sharmah]

We have tried both Brahmin and Non-Brahmin cooks in Chennai. Getting a Brahmin cook had almost become impossible. And they put one too many conditions.

We tried and had a non-Brahmin cook for some years. She was religious and a better cook than the Brahmin cook we had earlier. Surprisingly she was cleaner and also more appreciative of our religious tradition ( Poojai, homam etc.) than the Brahmin cook.

We could tell our non_Brahmin cook to have a bath (head bath) everyday and come to our house. Shocking news is that some of the Brahmin cooks we interviewed refused to do this.

In fact we have found that our non-Brahmin servants were more appreciative of our religious traditions than the Brahmin neighbors and cooks.

Please try to get over this apprehension.

Of course this is only an individual's experience and point of view.

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear friend,
At the outset I wish to assure you that there is nothing wrong in getting food prepared by aNon-Brahmin Cook. Only preference should be the Cook should be able to prepare Vegetarian cuisine suited to your taste. Just for information I wish to remind you many vegetarian Hotels employ non brahmin cooks on regular basis, this is the same with Marriage Catering contractors also. Please be informed that Non Brahmins belonging to Saiva Vellala and Veera Saiva Communities are strict Vegetarians.
You can give proper instructions to your cook (whether brahmin or non brahmin) regarding your preference in respect of hygiene and food to be prepared and guide him/her for some time.

Regards,
Brahmanyan

 

[suraju06]

Hi Sudha,
This is a dilemma which dogs many of us. I think there are three questions to be considered here:
1. Hygiene: Does the cook (NB) maintain himself clean and follows clean practices like not touching his hair, teeth etc while cooking? Does he wash his hands frequently to keep himself clean? Does he wash the cookware cleanly before using etc. are some of the questions you will have to ask yourself.
2. Expertise: Does he cook to your taste? Does he use too much of spices like they use in their home? Thes questions will have to be asked and answers found.
3. Brahmins believe that the food if it is cooked by some one with saatvic qualities, it is good for eating. You will have to find out whether your cook is saatvic in nature. This will be a little difficult.
The easiest solution is to look for a brahmin cook because they are supposed to qualify in all these aspects. If a NB cook also qualifies then it is ok. I think for you the solution will be to ask some brahmin who runs a private kitchen to supply you breakfast and lunch everyday at your door - that is if u r in chennai. Cheers.

 

[kunjuppu]

sudha,

it is all in our mind, poisoned with the worst aspects of caste.

my own neice has had a christian cook and livein maid. like you between husband and wife, there was no time to cook, maintain a home and take care of two children - all of which fell on the willing shoulders of the christian maid theresa.

the aspects are cleanliness, godliness (theresa is a devout christian but very diligently respects our tradition and moves accordingly), skillset or the willingness to learn the skills and quickly adapt to the type of cooking that you want, take instructions without peevishness and above all to blend with the family.

these qualities should be the primary requirements and not the caste of the person. i think you have enough advice here from the rest of the folks, and i do not wish to add any more. before God all of us are equal. so should we be before our eyes too.

best of luck.

 

[nachi naga]

its all in your mind,if i may chirp in.we only have nb cooks-live in-always,as far as my memory serves.in fact all,gardener,chauffer,cook,maids ..only nb's.never had any problems.each had their own ever-silver utensils with their names marked just like mine was,like thambalam,tumbler,davara....only for parties the corelle or peenghon wares were used.so,plz employ nb's and if you still feel only tambrahms,just do that...i mean its your life and you have every right to feel whichever way yo think

 

[Somayaji.S]

In Chennai in which standard hotel like Saravana -Geetha Cafe etc is having a Brahmin is cook.I think we should come over all these inhibitions--one thing is the cook should have neat,hygenic habits.Even at the age of 65-72,we have given up these inhibitions--Youngsters at the age of 25-29 should come out of these inhibitions.Here Brahmins are eating in Italian restraunts "Vegetarian Paashta"--next table a family is eating Beef preparations.In interoior USA(Utah/Nevada) even to get a restraunt wher some "COOKED" Vegetarian dishes are served ,one has to travel 60 to 80 miles!!!! Near Boston (Road side Restraunt) we ordered a Vegetarian food.That lady gave a bowel full of Elai-Thalai-Kozhai and charged exorbitant $25/ (Rs 1250/=) per bowel.A beef meal is just $3/=--In Interior places one has to manage whatever is available in the name of Vegetarian=>pure cereals and raw cut vegetables--fashionably called as "Salads"--some times they pour Vinegar(Glacial Acetic Acid)--nauseating---or one has to starve.In Durrham(North Carolina) one fellow served Pork Patti sand-wich as Vegetarian--when my son-in law questioned the waiter,an African-American says "I have put Tomato and Lettuce also--what else is Vegetarian? huh"!!!!!!

 

[Nara]

.....Even at the age of 65-72,we have given up these inhibitions--Youngsters at the age of 25-29 should come out of these inhibitions.

I tried to stay away from this topic, but the flesh is weak.

I think the original post was a bait. Look at this sentence, "Even though what she made was ok, we two felt very uneasy after eating the food both psychologically and we felt very sick." IMO, this is a calculated bait to get us to go after each other.

If it is not a bait, then this young couple is messed up. I am sure they will have no qualms eating at an assortment of restaurants that Shri Somyaji mentions and not feel uneasy or sick. The hypocrisy is breathtaking.

Here Brahmins are eating in Italian restraunts "Vegetarian Paashta"--next table a family is eating Beef preparations.In interoior USA(Utah/Nevada) even to get a restraunt wher some "COOKED" Vegetarian dishes are served ,one has to travel 60 to 80 miles!!!! Near Boston (Road side Restraunt) we ordered a Vegetarian food.That lady gave a bowel full of Elai-Thalai-Kozhai and charged exorbitant $25/ per bowel.A beef meal is just $3/=--In Interior places one has to manage whatever is available pure cereals and raw cut vegetables--fashionably called as "Salads"--some times they pour Vinegar(Glacial Acetic Acid)--nauseating---one has to starve.

When I came to USA a very long time ago vegetarian meant no red meat, i.e. beef. Fish and chicken were considered veg. But, today, in my experience, USA is the best place to have any kind of food you want. Way down south in Tamil Nadu, if you don't eat onion or garlic, you have to go hungry. Even in curd rice they put onion.

In the U.S. I am able to get food without onion or garlic in American restaurants than Indian ones. As a rule we don't go to Mom/Pop restaurants, but go to any major chain, you will get cooked veg food without onion or garlic, anywhere in the U.S., even in Nevada and Utah.

Cheers!

 

[kunjuppu]

The hypocrisy is breathtaking.

nara,

no, it is not, i think. there are many many members with the same view. it is widely prevalent, this type of prejudice, as is evidenced by threads about requiring brahmin cooks, mushrooming regularly.

the usual excuse, is that even though the poster is open minded, it is the 'parents'. some of whom, till recently open minded, but now observe 'madi', like one of my relatives.

to that extent, this poster who started the thread, i should say, is honest, and must be commended. n'est pas?

 

[Nara]

....to that extent, this poster who started the thread, i should say, is honest, and must be commended. n'est pas?

K, yes, it is possible it was not a bait. But, if it is not a bait, then it is rank hypocrisy -- sincere hypocrisy may be? Can one be sincerely hypocritical ? Yes, I think people who suffer from cognitive dissonance have no problem managing it. I have a few in my own family, very close family members.

As Shri Somyaji pointed out, these people have no problem eating in restaurants where meat is cooked side by side by unknown NB and served by NB, etc., and then come home and feel queezy about a known NB cook. Please note that the uneasiness is on their part, not their parents.

I have seen enough ஊழல் களஞ்சியம் among Brahmins, even among the most orthodox, that they are anything but clean, hygienic, satvic, etc. Painting these qualities along caste lines is downright repulsive to me.

Cheers!

 

[nachi naga]

I tried to stay away from this topic, but the flesh is weak.

I think the original post was a bait. Look at this sentence, "Even though what she made was ok, we two felt very uneasy after eating the food both psychologically and we felt very sick." IMO, this is a calculated bait to get us to go after each other.

If it is not a bait, then this young couple is messed up. I am sure they will have no qualms eating at an assortment of restaurants that Shri Somyaji mentions and not feel uneasy or sick. The hypocrisy is breathtaking.



When I came to USA a very long time ago vegetarian meant no red meat, i.e. beef. Fish and chicken were considered veg. But, today, in my experience, USA is the best place to have any kind of food you want. Way down south in Tamil Nadu, if you don't eat onion or garlic, you have to go hungry. Even in curd rice they put onion.

In the U.S. I am able to get food without onion or garlic in American restaurants than Indian ones. As a rule we don't go to Mom/Pop restaurants, but go to any major chain, you will get cooked veg food without onion or garlic, anywhere in the U.S., even in Nevada and Utah.

Cheers!

i think nara nailed it well for north americans,but this is mylapore specific thread initially started.so,i sort of empathise with the couple.but honestly nb's cook lot better or maybe we only had nb cooks and only for devasome the brahmin cooks were a customary ritual.left to my dad,he would have reversed that too and revoloutined it,but then p.appa's heavy hand and frowny faces,would have even scared our pithrus let alone us in bhu-lokam.somayaji experiance is true to the core.my wife still prefers her own cooking and in the bargain kids and myself have got so used to it,even indian food in restaurants tastes awful for us.but then indian grocers stock and stack,racks of goodies,which are so easy to make.especially mtr,ruchis,sakthi..etc products.indians rock

 

[sudnarayanan]

Hi
Thanks for all the replies. Please do not get me wrong here. The stress in my mail was about them being non-vegetarians and they cooking non-vegetarian food in their house ad other houses and coming to our house and cooking for us. The thing is that everyone is equal before God, but each community has its own culture and tradition and way of living.

We cannot stand non vegetarian food, and that is the way it is. It makes us puke or vomit, because we have surely not been used to it, and we know how cruel it is (I do not wish to elaborate more on it). Even at the workplace, I have friends who are non-vegetarians, but they respect the sentiments of a few of us, and sit slightly away in case they consume non vegetarian food.

If you re-read my original post, this is my main concern. The truth is that all non-brahmins (except for saiva pillais) are non vegetarian. And it is extremely difficult for some people who cannot adjust to that kind of a setting. Thats why I said that even though the food that they prepare is ok, there is a constant feeling that the same hands have touched non-vegetarian food everyday and cooking for us too.

Eating in restaurants is not an everyday affair, and we prefer to go only to pure vegetarian restaurants by preference, unless it is unavoidable like office outings. If there is no way, say like in the US, then probably people do not have a way out.

It is unfair to blame parents who have brought the kids up teaching them good values and culture and tradition. They are proud that atleast we stand out with others, following spiritual practices to some extent, instead of drinking and making merry like most of our generation.

Thanks for all the other feedback given. I am exploring this option to see how it works out. If it does not work out, then its probably not due to narrow minded thinking or having the caste system deep rooted, its because we have some concerns are are not willing to compromise on them.

A lot of constructive comments given in this thread, were useful for us. Thanks

Regards.

 

[kunjuppu]

sudha,

thank you for your detailed and self searching post. much appreciated. no matter what, there is no reason to defend or feel ashamed. that is what you are re veggies. there are lots of veggies in canada, among whites and muslims, and their habit is by choice. same as many TB being non veggie.

re your cook, i have only one suggestion to help you set up for success. be frank up front and list down your priorities - cleanliness,
bathe before cooking veggie food (if that is what you want), skillset, feelings about garlic etc etc. i think, values, gently explained along with the reason, would be appreciated by the deserving candidate.

do not choose someone just because they are brahmins. i have seen the poorest hygiene and worst cooking skills among brahmin cooks employed by my extended family. along with a sense of entitlement and a chip on their shoulders, they are among the worst to manage. my experience.

best wishes.

 

[Somayaji.S]

Nara (quote);-In the U.S. I am able to get food without onion or garlic in American restaurants than Indian ones. As a rule we don't go to Mom/Pop restaurants, but go to any major chain, you will get cooked veg food without onion or garlic, anywhere in the U.S., even in Nevada and Utah.(en-quote)

I do not know about "major chain"--Just 15 days back 2010,July 4 th long week end(4th was Sunday so as per rule here Monday was a Holiday) we had been to Ausable Chasm,Keeseville(NY) and stayed in a Motel--first day we managed with our Puliyodarai and Thayir saadham-second day we had to travel 80 miles(60 mph) to a very small town,to an Italian Restraunt(which my son knows) to get "Vegetarian Paashta"(real cooked vegetables-no red or white meat-with Paashta and came back to Keeseville Motel(80 miles back).

Not connected to this thread:-Mr.Praveen---I have a small collection of Hindu Temples in U.S.A.(beautiful temples)--only exteriors-may be our friends in the forum delighted to see the Hindu Temples in an alien culture--I do not know how to upload them--my knowledge of computers is very poor--can I send them as an attachment to my e-mail,so that you may up-load them in the Photo gallery.-Somayaji.S

 

[saidevo]

namaste everyone.

This thread is a typical example of how a genuine, practical difficulty is given the dye of caste to the extent of considering a person hypocrite!

It is a common experience that at least one member/relative in each brahmin family today resides with family and works abroad, but the tendency that traditional brahmin precepts and values are looked at and sought to be evaluated by our brahmin diaspora with reference to their own practices and experiences in overseas environments, is distressing.

Perhaps the title of the thread cascaded all the criticism. Had the title been "Non-vegetarian cook in a vegetarian home", I think, the avalanche of advice would have been saner and to the point.

• It is perfectly reasonable, IMO, for a vegetarian to feel uneasy about non-vegetarian food, and for that matter, about employing a cook who cooks non-vegerian at home. It is an altogether different issue that a vegetarian brahmin eats the vegetarian food cooked in a non-vegetarian restaurant, here or abroad, without any qualms. In the first place, a brahmin is not supposed to eat in a restaurant at all, but such things are not practical today.

• There is nothing wrong for brahmin who has no qualms at eating veg.food in NV restaurants to try to be traditional in his/her food and habits at home, and feel uneasy at the practical difficulty of not being able to employ a brahmin cook.

• Actually, giving a caste label to a practical difficulty is hypocritical. Suggesting to subject a non-brahmin/non-vegetarian cook to the rigours of hygene, skills and habits which cannot be enforced on a brahmin/vegetarian cook is hypocritical.

When many of our own young brahmin women are ignorant, indifferent and careless to the habits of touching their hair (which they never plait) or teeth and practising the other hygenic ways suggested by their tradition, how can we enforce such rigours to a NB/NV cook?

• As has been pointed out, many non-brahmins are more religious, traditional and cultured than many unorthodox brahmins, and the only difference is their being non-vegetarian. Nevertheless, the question of being a non-vegetarian matters in cooking in the home of a brahmin who wants to be traditional, although in normal life can only be much less so.

• It has been pointed out that the Shaiva VELALa people are strict vegetarians. Yes, but how many of them would have a NV cook to cook their vegetarian food at home? Yet we brahmins brag about being modern and trendy that we have a Christian cook at home, that except beef all NV food is considered vegetarian abroad, and so on! Nothing wrong with it, but only if we choose not to come down on a brahmin who feels uneasy about having a NV cook to cook their vegetarian food, right?

• Do I suggest that it is wrong to employ NB/NV cook in a brahmin home? Far from it. My suggestion is only that brahmins who do it should not criticize another brahmin who wants to avoid it for trying to be traditional.

The practical solution to Smt.SudhA NArAyaNan's problem seems to be either to buy their food from private brahmin kitchens or have their own cooking. These days when a householder has the choice of an overwhelming array of kitchen applicances, IMHO, cooking the daily food need not be a problem, when the couple share the kitchen work.

 

[sudnarayanan]

Hi
I feel Brahmins are vegetarians and predominantly non-brahmins are not, though I am not talking about exceptions here. I am also not able to relate when folks say that there are unhygienic brahmins who are cooks, because the cook I had was very hygienic. The food tastes the same as we make at home, while being assured even without doubt that she goes home and cooks vegetarian saatvic food like us. I had several other advantages like

1. She would take bath, and be very clean and fresh, looking like a mahalakshmi with flowers when she comes home.It was almost having a periamma or athai at home to help me with the cooking.
2. She would prepare thengai pooranam, kozhakattai maavu and other stuff for neivedhyam for festivals, inform me the day before functions and vrathams
3. When my mother in law could not be here for varalakshmi poojai, she even helped me with the madisaar so beautifully.
4. During naal kizhamai I would even give her vethalai paakku

Why would I not prefer a brahmin cook? Probably there are some who are not good, but I have not had that experience before. And when I think about non-brahmin/non vegetarians, only person i can associate is my maid servant, as I have not seen/had any cook, and I do not think that is the hygiene level I want for the food we eat(probably there are NV cooks who are very clean, but I am just talking about what I have known and seen)

After all the inputs given by members here, when I try out a non brahmin cook I plan to ensure that she is clean and tidy and does not cook non-veg food at other homes and she is a vegetarian herself. I am very happy about being a vegetarian myself and also feel lucky that I am in India so that I do not feel pressurized to compromise on this.

Thanks saidevo for the options. My spouse has promised to help me with whatever help he can do, so unless I find a good cook who suit our needs, I will continue with my spouse's help till then. But striking a compromise on what we believe strongly about(unless it is really really unavoidable, which is not the case here), is not an option for us.

Thanks.

 

[Raghy]

Few practical tips..

Usually, when I and my wife or I/my wife think about cooking the 'thoor dhaal' prior to cooking, the whole cooking becomes tiresome. It will be nice to have 'paruppu' ready. Paruppu can be cooked the previous night and kept in the fridge. Paruppu for the next day can be cooked along with tonight's cooking. (After adding the paruppu to sambar and/or rasam, still it takes about 20 minutes to complete the cooking. That is the ideal time to cook paruppu for the next day. (once it got cooled, it can go to the fridge).

Tamarind is the next head ache. My wife never approves the usage of tamarind concentrate. It has to be fresh all the time, every time. So, often times, I soak the tamarind the previous night. When you have paruppu and tamarind ready, almost half the cooking is over!

Potato/beetroot/carrot and such root vegetables should be cut and cooked as soon as we enter the house, even before making a cup of coffee.

It is a very good idea for the man to help the wife during cooking. For years I was the helper by the way of chopping vegetables, cleaning vessels and cleaning the kitchen.

Lastly, but importantly, kitchen is the best place to make love.

Cheers!

 

[Dr.T.N.Jambunathan]

Who cooks doesn't bother What he cooks is. My 2 sons both have lady cooks. Elder in Bangalore has a Ligayat Shardha She is great She cooks the food the way Brahmins would love in taste and cleanliness She enters the house at 7 AM and back home at 5PM She will phone to my wife get the recipe to make special specific dishes on occasions like Adi 18 Varalaksmi Vritham Karadyan Nombu etc . She enjoys her work and does well also She takes care of Dhanista well which is very essential.

But my second son Madras was keen on a Brahmin cook in house 24 hours. He had one for 1 year . Bitter experience. She turned out to be literally a white elephant Huge in size very fair skin wasteful in short சோம்பேரி more interested in TV serials Cell Phone and her skipping health & fitness etc than managing the house and taking care of Uddish the child.Nothing to write home about her cooking - poor . At the end of year she demanded a hike of Rs. 1500 which was not acceptable to my son the contract was terminated To hire her he had to pay 7000 to the agency as commission. Luckily now she has been replaced by another lady who is fine and suits us well and fits into our environment correctly You don't get Brahmin ladies They are terribly in short supply and hence dictate terms with you that is you should fit into their whims and fancies to retain her!!
I remember old film song
மனைவி அமைவதெல்லாம் It should be rewritten as
மாமி அமைவதெல்லாம்
சமயல் மாமி அமைவதெல்லாம்
and tune should be also a remixed to suit the current taste!!
Jambu:fear:

 

[Dr.T.N.Jambunathan]

Dear Sudnarayanan

"I am in a huge dharmasankatam " it is not only the employer but the employee also some times in this situation

They also feel it as சங்கடம் I recollect song about that

சங்கடமான சமயலவிட்டு சங்கீதம் பாட போறேன் . I think It was by Serukalthur Sama
Anybody has more info on this?:welcome:

 

[Brahmanyan]

Dear Sudnarayanan

"I am in a huge dharmasankatam " it is not only the employer but the employee also some times in this situation

They also feel it as சங்கடம் I recollect song about that

சங்கடமான சமயலவிட்டு சங்கீதம் பாட போறேன் . I think It was by Serukalthur Sama
Anybody has more info on this?:welcome:

Dear Doctor,

That was a popular song from the successful Comedy movie "என் மனைவி"- En Manaivi" produced by AVM Productions in1942. K.R.Chellam and K.Sarangapani were the main actors. This famous song was sung by inimitable charecter actor Sarangapani who acts as music loving violinist Cook, who wants to be a stage actor.

Regards,
Brahmanyan.

 

[Brahmanyan]

Who cooks doesn't bother What he cooks is. My 2 sons both have lady cooks. Elder in Bangalore has a Ligayat Shardha She is great She cooks the food the way Brahmins would love in taste and cleanliness She enters the house at 7 AM and back home at 5PM She will phone to my wife get the recipe to make special specific dishes on occasions like Adi 18 Varalaksmi Vritham Karadyan Nombu etc . She enjoys her work and does well also She takes care of Dhanista well which is very essential.

But my second son Madras was keen on a Brahmin cook in house 24 hours. He had one for 1 year . Bitter experience. She turned out to be literally a white elephant Huge in size very fair skin wasteful in short சோம்பேரி more interested in TV serials Cell Phone and her skipping health & fitness etc than managing the house and taking care of Uddish the child.Nothing to write home about her cooking - poor . At the end of year she demanded a hike of Rs. 1500 which was not acceptable to my son the contract was terminated To hire her he had to pay 7000 to the agency as commission. Luckily now she has been replaced by another lady who is fine and suits us well and fits into our environment correctly You don't get Brahmin ladies They are terribly in short supply and hence dictate terms with you that is you should fit into their whims and fancies to retain her!!
I remember old film song
மனைவி அமைவதெல்லாம் It should be rewritten as
மாமி அமைவதெல்லாம்
சமயல் மாமி அமைவதெல்லாம்
and tune should be also a remixed to suit the current taste!!
Jambu:fear:

Dear Doctor,
What you have written is true. In Bangalore, where we stay, it is difficult to get Brahmin cooks. Our experience with Brahmin cook is almost the same as yours. The lady Brahmin cook whom we got from Tanjore on full time basis started placing new conditions after a month of arrival when she found the demand for cooks exceeds supply in this IT city.
Now we have a part time male cook from Orissa, who claims that he is "one step below Brahmin by caste" to assist cooking. Though his knowledge of cooking Vegetarian cuisine is limited to Northern Indian items, he is a strict vegetarian. Interestingly most of the vegetarian Cooks available in Bangalore are from Orissa.
Regards,
Brahmanyan.

 

[kunjuppu]

a digression here. attached is a video clip from என் மனைவி though not of the song. gives the mood of those times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wleu8g2Cwo0

Dear Doctor,

That was a popular song from the successful Comedy movie "என் மனைவி"- En Manaivi" produced by AVM Productions in1942. K.R.Chellam and K.Sarangapani were the main actors. This famous song was sung by inimitable charecter actor Sarangapani who acts as music loving violinist Cook, who wants to be a stage actor.

Regards,
Brahmanyan.

 

[Raghy]

Respectable members,

You may dowload the song from this link. The song was too large to upload. So, I am providing the link. If you are not a member, then you may sign in and download.

Music: Title: vijayram_a_kannan - sangadamaana...EN MANAIVI

Cheers!

 

[Iyer]

Well. After my marriage, initially my wife had difficulty cooking Vegetarian food, especially food and cuisine that would be palatable to a Tamilian Iyer tongue. She also had to sacrifice her much cherished sea food, which is almost like a staple food to people belonging to the community where she was born. Then my mother gradually taught her cooking Tamilian recipes, the varieties of Sambar, of Rasam, of Poriyal. My Mother instructed her on every minute detail of Iyer cooking, of the proportion of the ingredients, the length of time to heat food etc etc. Besides my sister and other Maamis in the neighbourhood taught her the other items like Pickles, a wide variety of them. It took hardly a year for my wife to prepare Tamilian vegetarian food as my mother prepares.

Many years have passed since we got married. We are now living in a Cosmopolitan city which is my wife's hometown. No one can find any difference in the preparation between my mother and my wife. My wife wears Madisar on occasion. She is fairer than many Indian women ( courtesy her background ). We have concealed her original name from others and we call her Anita. She speaks chaste Iyer Tamil with the Brahmin ladies in the neighbourhood. Please note that she could not speak a word in Tamil when she married me. Any one would bet that she must be from an orthodox Iyer family. To that extent she has adapated to our culture and environs. She has even influenced her parents, kith and kin by her changed likes and dislikes, that my in-laws are now vegetarians and they cook as Iyers cook.

Till now my neighbours have not discovered and could not discover that my wife is from a Muslim background, of Arabic descendancy.

When my wife can, Sudha you too can adapt.

All the best.

 

[Nara]

...This thread is a typical example of how a genuine, practical difficulty is given the dye of caste to the extent of considering a person hypocrite!

saidevo,

Caste overtones of this thread started from the very beginning. It is not just in the title of the thread, but post after post is suffused with caste overtones, some even suggesting Brahmins are supposed to be hygienic and satvic. Nobody in particular "gave" it caste overtones, the practical difficulty expressed was how to deal with psychological problems of having an NB cook.

If there are people who don't mind eating in restaurants, even ones where NV is served, and then have qualms about NBs as cook in a B household is hypocritical by definition. Pointing this out is not any worse than having such feelings, at least it could encourage them to think about it.

This is not about TB diaspora.

Cheers!