Sumangali Prarthanai - Suggestions

[vijiramanan]

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Greetings!
I would like to perform Sumangali Prarthanai after my son's marriage. I come accross few differences. So I feel I may require to perform in different method. I need some suggestions too.

1. My relatives stay at very far off places from my residence. Therefore it would be difficult either for to come in time and join the function as also visiting the previous day and giving them the oil and shikakai for their oil bath.

2. Now a days mostly the ladies wear only jeans and salwar kameez. Very few still follow the culture of wearing 6 yds saree. Yes my daughter in law herself said she won't wear sarees. She wears only jeans or chudidhars!!!! Therefore requesting anyone to wear 9 yrds-feeling very delicate.......

3. The practice of sitting on fooor and eating around 13 items on plantain leaf....seems very difficult for them. Now the practice is eating on dining table. Apart from that dieting - no rice - no fried item etc etc.

To patch up all the above points- I feel can we invite Suhagan ladies from nearby/neighbours. Ask them wear the washed cloth -salwar kameez-as the katcham in 9 yrds appear in Salwar!!!! For food we can serve two curries, two dhals, raita, kheer, vada, salad, chutney - both meeta chutney and green chutney. Of course serving the food on plantain leaf but on table chair seating arrangement. In thamboolam instead of blouse piece we can give suit cloth.

I don't know how this would work out. I need some more suggestions/opinions.


Regards.

Vijiramanan

 

[krish44]

You could go to vaikuntanathar temple in munirka and request them to arrange five or any number of such ladies sumangali wearing 6 or 9 yds sarees.there are many who

are not well off or spouses of prohithars or priests there .you might present them sarees for the event.

also they will make the food for you with a limited menu and serve in their back yard hall - a small one accomodating some 25-30 besides any pooja to be done

you can try any other south indian temple in delhi depending on your location . there are so many.

 

[sangom]

Greetings!
I would like to perform Sumangali Prarthanai after my son's marriage. I come accross few differences. So I feel I may require to perform in different method. I need some suggestions too.

1. My relatives stay at very far off places from my residence. Therefore it would be difficult either for to come in time and join the function as also visiting the previous day and giving them the oil and shikakai for their oil bath.

2. Now a days mostly the ladies wear only jeans and salwar kameez. Very few still follow the culture of wearing 6 yds saree. Yes my daughter in law herself said she won't wear sarees. She wears only jeans or chudidhars!!!! Therefore requesting anyone to wear 9 yrds-feeling very delicate.......

3. The practice of sitting on fooor and eating around 13 items on plantain leaf....seems very difficult for them. Now the practice is eating on dining table. Apart from that dieting - no rice - no fried item etc etc.

To patch up all the above points- I feel can we invite Suhagan ladies from nearby/neighbours. Ask them wear the washed cloth -salwar kameez-as the katcham in 9 yrds appear in Salwar!!!! For food we can serve two curries, two dhals, raita, kheer, vada, salad, chutney - both meeta chutney and green chutney. Of course serving the food on plantain leaf but on table chair seating arrangement. In thamboolam instead of blouse piece we can give suit cloth.

I don't know how this would work out. I need some more suggestions/opinions.


Regards.

Vijiramanan

Smt. Vijiraman,

"Sumangali" Prarthanai, though known by that name, has been - for a long time - a rite aimed at satisfying (திருப்திப்படுத்துவது) the souls of the womenfolk in the family who have died as "sumangalis" due to various reasons such as complications in delivery, other fatal diseases, accidents, snake bites, drowning due to accident, and even suicides. In some Tabra families even now they have a special "PoovaaDai Paanai" or mud pot in which the newly purchased 9yards pudavai+blouse piece and a 'paavaadai' cloth and some jasmine are kept intact and this is to be given to a sumangali other than a member of the family or even extended family, and a kanyakai. In some small percentage of our people the custom exists of even compulsorily inviting a widow with Paatti Vesham (shaven head, the typical brown-colour pudavai, etc.) and presenting her with a new pudavai of the same kind called "Naarpattu Pudavai" which has become extremely costly nowadays!

This rite possibly started because our Sraadha rite is aimed only at the male pitrus and even the Tharpanam is mainly for the males, the female ancestors get only sesamum and water without any vedic mantra being recited and, in many families, the females were found to be troubled in several ways and the astrologers found that something had to be dome specifically to appease or satisfy the female ancestors especially when there used to be many deaths of young females, including young girls, due to the causes given above. (A Brahmanan marrying twice or thrice, after the death of the wife, was very common some fifty years ago!)

There are still some families in which for every "Sumangali Prarthanai" some female ancestor's soul manifests in one of the chosen sumangalis and speaks, like an oracle, about the shortcomings in the function just conducted, what remedial measure/s should be taken, etc., drinks lot of coconut water and then blesses and vanishes.

In these circumstances, making radical changes to the contours of the rite itself will depend upon the mental grit that you have and your readiness to face any adverse developments at a later date. Since the entire rite is supposed to satisfy the unsatisfied desires of womenfolk who died unfortunately before completing a long enough married life, substituting today's dress, food items, etc., may or may not satisfy those diseased unsatisfied souls. In those families where the "Aavi" possesses one of the chosen sumangalis, they have not been allowed to change the function even a wee-bit, and even today, they try and somehow get old, practically unavailable items like "Perandai thuvaiyal", "Putthari Chundai Varuval" and so on. Of course "maruthani" is not substituted with mehandi available readily. But because of the difficulties of the present day, the chosen "Sumangalis" are invited on phone and requested to take oil bath using Shikakai and these items are offered to them as soon as they come to the house on the appointed day. Eating on dining tables has become common, but rarely is this function conducted outside in other venues.

So, I request you to think over all the pros and cons and come to your own judgment.

 

[vijiramanan]

Sumangali Prarthanai-suggestions

Smt. Vijiraman,

"Sumangali" Prarthanai, though known by that name, has been - for a long time - a rite aimed at satisfying (திருப்திப்படுத்துவது) the souls of the womenfolk in the family who have died as "sumangalis" due to various reasons such as complications in delivery, other fatal diseases, accidents, snake bites, drowning due to accident, and even suicides. In some Tabra families even now they have a special "PoovaaDai Paanai" or mud pot in which the newly purchased 9yards pudavai+blouse piece and a 'paavaadai' cloth and some jasmine are kept intact and this is to be given to a sumangali other than a member of the family or even extended family, and a kanyakai. In some small percentage of our people the custom exists of even compulsorily inviting a widow with Paatti Vesham (shaven head, the typical brown-colour pudavai, etc.) and presenting her with a new pudavai of the same kind called "Naarpattu Pudavai" which has become extremely costly nowadays!

This rite possibly started because our Sraadha rite is aimed only at the male pitrus and even the Tharpanam is mainly for the males, the female ancestors get only sesamum and water without any vedic mantra being recited and, in many families, the females were found to be troubled in several ways and the astrologers found that something had to be dome specifically to appease or satisfy the female ancestors especially when there used to be many deaths of young females, including young girls, due to the causes given above. (A Brahmanan marrying twice or thrice, after the death of the wife, was very common some fifty years ago!)

There are still some families in which for every "Sumangali Prarthanai" some female ancestor's soul manifests in one of the chosen sumangalis and speaks, like an oracle, about the shortcomings in the function just conducted, what remedial measure/s should be taken, etc., drinks lot of coconut water and then blesses and vanishes.

In these circumstances, making radical changes to the contours of the rite itself will depend upon the mental grit that you have and your readiness to face any adverse developments at a later date. Since the entire rite is supposed to satisfy the unsatisfied desires of womenfolk who died unfortunately before completing a long enough married life, substituting today's dress, food items, etc., may or may not satisfy those diseased unsatisfied souls. In those families where the "Aavi" possesses one of the chosen sumangalis, they have not been allowed to change the function even a wee-bit, and even today, they try and somehow get old, practically unavailable items like "Perandai thuvaiyal", "Putthari Chundai Varuval" and so on. Of course "maruthani" is not substituted with mehandi available readily. But because of the difficulties of the present day, the chosen "Sumangalis" are invited on phone and requested to take oil bath using Shikakai and these items are offered to them as soon as they come to the house on the appointed day. Eating on dining tables has become common, but rarely is this function conducted outside in other venues.

So, I request you to think over all the pros and cons and come to your own judgment.

Greetings!
I very much convey my thanks for all the guidance and details about the functions.
Definitely I shall visit Vaikuntanathar temple and get the details. i was not aware of such facilities available at this temple.
Once again, my thanks for the valuable guidance.

Regards.

Vijiramanan

 

[vijiramanan]

Greetings!
I very much thank you for all the details and guidance provided for the function. I shall visit Vaikuntanathar temple and find out the details to perform the function.
Thank you once again.

Regards.

Vijiramanan