teacher & student

[bagya]

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TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
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TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER : John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
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TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.


bagya

 

[Seshadri Subramaniam]

Though old, they still bring a smile... the joke section is the one area which holds my interest now...!

 

[G Vishwanath]

Testing embedding of graphic images

Thanks to bagya for the smiles.

Let me try an experiment here.
I have some funny stuff from my collection but in these jokes let the images /figures/diagram speak for themselves and I hope I am successul in getting them to appear here.
If they do appear below, I hope they bring the same smile on to your faces as they did to mine.

Regards
G Vishwanath
JP Nagar, (New member)

IMG]http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh200/geevishwanath/FunnyMathematics-3.png[/IMG]

 

[G Vishwanath]

Hoorray! My experiment succeeded. I got the images to appear right here.
Now we can post funny pictures, cartoons etc.
Regards to all
G Vishwanath, JP Nagar, Bangalore (New member)

 

[ambes]

peon to boss: Sir, Manager Banta is standing outside ur room with a suitcase full of underwear
Boss: "oh No! I only told him to disbrief his team and meet me

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Every husbands misery:
10 years ago when I used to return home my Dog used to greet me by Barking & my
wife by kissing. Now they have exchanged their roles

 

[ambes]

Lion came across a pig and said: "I roar and the whole jungle fears
Pig; "Nowadays I sneeze and the whole world fears

 

[RVR]

A businessman's mother in law expired. He paid all the funeral expenses from the company. He asked his accountant to write off the same as funeral expenses. His accountant said it will not allowed as expenditure by income tax authorities. Businessman thought about it for some time and said you write it as `Packing & Forwarding expenses'. His accounted said it is ok and Income tax authorities will not object to it.