The lalitha effect

[kunjuppu]

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Not sure if this is already there in the forum. this is an interesting view of the women of that nobel prize winning tambram family of raman and chandra.

i dont know how these women would have fared in today's tambram world, where the females are just about almost equal to the male tambram. maybe these would not have married their famous husbands, but would have risen up in the world, on their own mite? only God will know.

The Lalitha effect

 

[vgane]

Not sure if this is already there in the forum. this is an interesting view of the women of that nobel prize winning tambram family of raman and chandra.

i dont know how these women would have fared in today's tambram world, where the females are just about almost equal to the male tambram. maybe these would not have married their famous husbands, but would have risen up in the world, on their own mite? only God will know.

The Lalitha effect

Thanks for the link...Not sure if ever a man can succeed without help from his or her spouse...The two have to complement each other...Same is applicable to the talented and successful woman industrialists, Doctors, Judges, musicians and other artists

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

Thanks for the link. Behind every successful man / woman - - - - - - - - -

One more funny (?) thought came to me! Just like the modern guys and girls, if Dr. C. V. R or L S amma

had thought of compatibility in height, they would not have married!

 

[sangom]

Not sure if this is already there in the forum. this is an interesting view of the women of that nobel prize winning tambram family of raman and chandra.

i dont know how these women would have fared in today's tambram world, where the females are just about almost equal to the male tambram. maybe these would not have married their famous husbands, but would have risen up in the world, on their own mite? only God will know.

The Lalitha effect

I surely feel that the wives of our so-called greats - CVR, Srinivasa Ramanujam, Bharatiyar, or even Rajaji as well as the very revered Acharyas - were greater personalities than the husbands. They were like the very strong foundations on which tall skyscrapers and facades could be erected safely and proudly. Hope someone will take up the project of writing the (available) biographies of "the greater women behind those great men".

 

[Raji Ram]

Since the women folk took care of the home front, those real great men (not so-called) could perform well outside!

But we can't say that those women were more brilliant in the fields in which their men excelled!

 

[sravna]

I surely feel that the wives of our so-called greats - CVR, Srinivasa Ramanujam, Bharatiyar, or even Rajaji as well as the very revered Acharyas - were greater personalities than the husbands. They were like the very strong foundations on which tall skyscrapers and facades could be erected safely and proudly. Hope someone will take up the project of writing the (available) biographies of "the greater women behind those great men".

I agree with Shri.Sangom and Shri vgane. Only people who can appreciate and therefore be influenced by their complementary aspects such as the wife or the husband can be a real and complete success.

 

[sangom]

Since the women folk took care of the home front, those real great men (not so-called) could perform well outside!

But we can't say that those women were more brilliant in the fields in which their men excelled!

It is not necessary that every such couple redlicated Pierre and Marie Curie. But it may not be just as simple as saying "those women folk took care of the home front, those real great men (not so-called) could perform well outside!". My hunch is that in many cases the womenfolk and the children were the sacrificial goats and it was their suffering and neglect which is plastered all over by the society eulogizing the greatness of the so-called great men. If those women had the courage to speak out and if the laws of the land were as favourable to women as they are today, many- if not all - of these so-called greats would have been convicted for criminal neglect and might have died as paupers unable to provide maintenance to their families.

 

[Nara]

I surely feel that the wives of [....] as well as the very revered Acharyas - were greater personalities than the husbands. .

If hagiographies are to be believed, at least in the case of Bhagavad Ramanuja, his wife was very petty and incorrigibly casteist for Ramanuja's liking. After three transgressions he sent her packing to her birth family, made financial arrangements for her care and took up sanyasam. His greatness came after that and he never looked....

This fond eulogy to the supportive wife behind the success of the husband is a trite smokescreen to mask the utter disregard, disdain and contempt the society had for female accomplishments. The point of the OP, it seems to me, is what these women would have achieved if only they were allowed to be more than mere foundation upon which the husbands could build their success.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear friends,

The ego in male is more than the ego in female in our society! In olden days, a woman was supposed to take care of the household

duties, bring up the kids and serve the old parents of her husband. Even when she was allowed to go out to do a job and give more
financial support to the family, she had the job only as an added burden. Now the tables are turned! :moony:

I know one S S O (simply sitting officer), who used to shout, 'Bring me a cup of boost!' as soon as his wife returns from her

eight hour duty as a scientist. Not a paisa was earned by that guy! Now, she is happy only because of her pension money. :thumb:

 

[Raji Ram]

Many divorces happen in the music field only because the male is unable to accept the name and fame of the spouse!

 

[sangom]

Dear friends,

The ego in male is more than the ego in female in our society! In olden days, a woman was supposed to take care of the household

duties, bring up the kids and serve the old parents of her husband. Even when she was allowed to go out to do a job and give more
financial support to the family, she had the job only as an added burden. Now the tables are turned! :moony:

I know one S S O (simply sitting officer), who used to shout, 'Bring me a cup of boost!' as soon as his wife returns from her

eight hour duty as a scientist. Not a paisa was earned by that guy! Now, she is happy only because of her pension money. :thumb:

Many divorces happen in the music field only because the male is unable to accept the name and fame of the spouse!

The question is not of divorce, male ego, etc. The wives of the many so-called great men whom society praises sky-high, must have suffered and sacrificed their lives in order that the husbands could build name and fame for himself and, in the process, criminally neglect the wives and children. If any man tries to repeat such a phenomenon, most probably the wife will speak out, go to court and claim compensation. This is what I meant.

 

[Raji Ram]

........ The question is not of divorce, male ego, etc. ........

It is male ego that make a man think that his wife has to sacrifice her life to let him achieve something in life!

Nowadays, women don't tolerate such things and end up in divorce! So all these are inter-related!

Obviously, those great men would not have had enough time even to think of their families.

P.S: If all women demand attention and time from their spouses, there may not be any achievers in the future!!

 

[renuka]

Many divorces happen in the music field only because the male is unable to accept the name and fame of the spouse!

Behind some capable/talented/intelligent women there is an unsuccessful marriage....some just dont divorce..that is the only difference.

 

[Vaagmi]

Many divorces happen in the music field only because the male is unable to accept the name and fame of the spouse!

Music, painting, poetry, acting are all forms of expression which require a very sensitive mind to make, understand and appreciate. It is natural for these artists to look for similar sensitivity and if it is absent unfortunately at least the understanding and appreciation from the closest of relations in the world-the spouse. When there is a serious mismatch there is this falling apart. This is the real reason than the name, fame etc., which all come later. When a spouse does not understand what is happening to his mate or what is happening inside his mate he is like a person who has lost the password of his most valuable record. It introduces all kinds of feelings of insecurity and the result is serious misunderstanding and parting.

 

[kunjuppu]

for the highly skilled successful professional women, whether they be in music or arts, a good kooja thookki is a must.

not only do these need protection companionship egoboostal consolation comfortofthambathiyam financemanagement householdhelp - all rolled in one. which only a kooja thookki can do and will be accepted by the society.

this is for the public here. i know a upandupcoming 28 year old female tambram carnatic singer. if i mention the name folks in the know, would recognize . hence i wont .

her mother is frantically looking for a goodlooking welltempered accommodating kind nurturing and well versed in all such kooja thooki activities. the parents who live outside of chennai, are very well off. will set these up comfortably and provide good sustenance income for life. they want their daughter to be happily married and beget children, as her career progresses.

at this point i think only iyers. though iyengars may be tolerated. i can find out if it comes to that.

not sure of jadhaga porutham. if anyone has any candidate please let me know..age upto 33.

 

[Raji Ram]

Behind some capable/talented/intelligent women there is an unsuccessful marriage....some just dont divorce..that is the only difference.

Very true, Renu! :sad:

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

It is rather difficult to find a koojA thookki (k-t) groom. But there might be some grooms who can let the singer come up in her

career but should not interfere in his career! This means that the father / another appointed person by him has to be k-t!

 

[Raji Ram]

One of the front line singers wanted ONLY a software professional as hubby because that guy will be tied up with his work

for nearly 18 hours x 365. She is happily married and has a son. Each of the couple do not interfere in other's business! :thumb:

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Kunjuppu Sir,

It is rather difficult to find a koojA thookki (k-t) groom. But there might be some grooms who can let the singer come up in her

career but should not interfere in his career! This means that the father / another appointed person by him has to be k-t!

yes. that appears to tbe the problem. the girl 28 and very very pretty too, and competitive talent on top of that.

they have gone through several applications, and between mother/daughter have found the candidates come short. oh well!!

 

[Raji Ram]

......... When a spouse does not understand what is happening to his mate or what is happening inside his mate he is like a person who has lost the password of his most valuable record. It introduces all kinds of feelings of insecurity and the result is serious misunderstanding and parting.

Dear Sir,

Not always! If there is 'live and let live' concept between the couple, both can excel in their own fields!

A few leading singers without k.t hubbies are the examples!

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear Sir,

Not always! If there is 'live and let live' concept between the couple, both can excel in their own fields!

A few leading singers without k.t hubbies are the examples!

There are two ways of dealing with a problem of incompatibility. one is to call it a day and go your way and the other is to live with it and manage it day to day.