The style of raising a Child

[prasad1]

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This last few weeks we were visiting family in California coast.
My observation of Child rearing in two families.

1. The child is 2 years old, can speak Hindi, Tamil and English fluently. There is that childish lisp but there is understanding of all language to the extent that she can translate words from one language to another. Self sufficient, very independent, eats solid food on her own, and knows when she has to go the bathroom. No diapers to worry about.

2, The child is 3 years old, can barely manage to speak broken English that the mother needs to understand. Gets very frustrated that we do not understand him and cries a lot. The mother smothers him and is constantly hugs him to the extent that he always wants his mom. Mom still suckles him (She says she only does it twice a day), he still wants his bottle in the morning. He is not trained so he is in diapers 24 hours.

The both the family the father is US born and the mother is Indian born. Both mothers work outside the home.

 

[renuka]

My answers in blue:

This last few weeks we were visiting family in California coast.
My observation of Child rearing in two families.

1. The child is 2 years old, can speak Hindi, Tamil and English fluently. There is that childish lisp but there is understanding of all language to the extent that she can translate words from one language to another. Self sufficient, very independent, eats solid food on her own, and knows when she has to go the bathroom. No diapers to worry about.


Good and bad..that is good that the child is a fast learner but bad if the parents are robbing the child of her childhood but imposing too much too soon. Some parents tend to pay less attention to a girl and make her too independent too soon.

I remember many years ago when my son was aged 6 that time I took him out with his female 2nd cousin who was aged 4 then..so I bought for him some Ultraman toy and I bought her a Barbie doll but surprisingly my cousin was not too happy that I bought her daughter a doll and said "she is not a baby to be playing with dolls..she is a big girl now"

I said "hey she is just 4...she is not a big girl yet"

So Prasad ji..sometimes parents impose too much too soon.

2, The child is 3 years old, can barely manage to speak broken English that the mother needs to understand. Gets very frustrated that we do not understand him and cries a lot. The mother smothers him and is constantly hugs him to the extent that he always wants his mom. Mom still suckles him (She says she only does it twice a day), he still wants his bottle in the morning. He is not trained so he is in diapers 24 hours.

Aged 3 can still be in daipers..no harm but by 4 they need to be off diapers eventually..coming to breast feeding..it is no harm that a child is breastfed even to the age of 3-4.
Ok since this child is a boy..boys usually have slightly less language skills..the other child you saw was a girl..linguistic skills are better in girls(that explains why we females love to blah blah blah!LOL)..

3 years is when most children learn to actually phrase their sentences and also its the time when some develop temper tantrums..some kids get angry when what they want to convey is not understood...its normal cos that's how one develops emotions and learns to exert their presence..and its all in the learning curve...so child No 2 is very normal.

So if you ask me I wont worry of child number 2..but I might worry for child number 1 that child number 1 might be pushed too hard to get out of childhood too soon.

The both the family the father is US born and the mother is Indian born. Both mothers work outside the home.


When it comes to children..no matter where they are born or where they are from of who their parents are...we should always cater to individual differences and a comparing and contrasting seldom works.

 

[dvrrajakumar]

This is my personal observation. It is something very strange and intriguing.

My grandson (Me and madam were there at that time) was born in Hornu hospital-Belgium. His fingers were open when he was born and through and through he was maintaining that.
My Sagalars (wifes elder sisters husband) grand daughter was born in Chennai-India just 2 months later. Her fingers were closed for quite many days.

Grandson is eating now (12months +) all baby food and normal food for babies at that age but less than a cup
Grand daughter is eating from 6th month more than 2 cups of rice and little pulses water and more rice

Grandson is mummas boy
Grand daughter is scouting freely

Grandson is adamant and if it does not happen he hits his head against wall and shows disapproval
Granddaughter (hits) pats with hand for disapproval

He understands all said in my mother tongue sourashtra and english and if o.k. obeys or disobeys
She understands sourashtra but least interested, doing what she wants

I am trying to decipher manythings through this.
Invariably in our literature it is written that when you are born you come with closed hand/fingers that you are given the prarabhdha karma of certain amount that is what it shows. If it happens the other way, come with open hand is it that no prarabhdha karma, only now the Sanchita karma starts. Open hand birth is frequent and common in foreign countries unlike in India?

All other points of course depend on environment.................

Prof.D.V.R.Rajakumar

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Prof. Rajakumar Sir,

Nice contrast between your grand kids! Does it mean that children are born with closed hands in India because we believe

in karmA theory? Do you know there is a ritual to scrub the dead person's right palm with coins and put them in the funeral pyre.

Later on, the black coins are distributed to the children in the family as 'kai kAsu' which is supposed to bring wealth to the owner!

Are we scrubbing out the good karmA of the dead person before his mortal remains is consumed to fire? If so, will he go away

taking only his bad karmA with him? Really no idea for me!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Prasad Sir,

I have also seen the two types of children as you have mentioned in the OP. Some children show interest in learning fast and also

to obey their parents. Some never pay heed and do whatever they wish to do! Also, of the two siblings, one will be very smart and

independent where as the other will be some what dull and dependent on parent/ parents. How does this happen, even when parents

try to bring up children in the similar way? Do these habits come in blood just as the 'swara njAnam', which I think, comes in blood?