Upbringing of Children

[P.J.]

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Upbringing of Children


Hindu philosophy says there are 4 ways of dealing with people. Sama, Dana, bheda and danda.
Sama: is the first method of explaining to people. By word. Common sense. And logical explanations
Dana: the quintessential carrot. This second option is to explaining along with giving an incentive.
Bheda: the third option is used if Sama and Dana don’t work. This is the art of selective discrimination and differentiation.
Danda: if none of the above methods work, then the last resort is to use force or the stick.

Last week in Neeya Naana Episode 3-2- 2013, is about upbringing of Children.
Most of the parents said they used the last technique to control their naughty kids!!


Three experts who came for the show did not agree on among themselves on the techniques to be used for upbringing the children.

I was born in 1939, even in those days when I was a kid, my parents never used to
“Danda ‘at anytime. We grew up with other brothers and sister and we learnt from them every thing. We had a very free social environment in those days.
But in Schools, in those days, Teachers used DANDA technique when students did not do ‘home work’.


My wife and I never used that DANDA technique to our son and daughter.

The same thing is with our Son/Daughter in law also our Daughter and Son in law; they never use any Danda at any time.

I believe that there is no specific way to teach how one should bring up his Kid, it all depends upon family to family, the economic condition of the family, where they stay, both parents working or not etc etc.

But one thing I am sure, by using Danda, children’s mind is affected to some extend and they remember those harsh punishment in their childhood till they are alive!!


Neeya Naana 03-02-2013 - Vijay TV Debate Show ~ Tamiltwist | Tamil TV Shows - Chellame, Nadhaswaram, Thirumathi Selvam

 

[renuka]

But one thing I am sure, by using Danda, children’s mind is affected to some extend and they remember those harsh punishment in their childhood till they are alive!!

Dear Sir,

I have got proper slaps before when I was growing up cos I used to be a messy kid.
I would sit and study whole day and not make my bed and also all my books would be strewn about on the floor and I will sit in the middle and study.

My parents used to tell me to tidy up my room,make my bed and I will never do so.

I used to tell them that when we sleep on the bed again..it will get messed up..so why bother making bed to start with?

So I had got it proper too from my mother....she used to tell me "when you get married..what will your husband think about your upbringing?"

So I used to answer back saying "I will marry a man who does not make his bed too"

And sure enough my husband hates making his bed too..so we take turns..one day I make the bed and the next day he makes the bed in our home.

I never harbored any ill feeling for my parents for slapping me.

I used to think that poor things..they don't know I will never change and till now I hate making my bed!

 

[P.J.]

renukaji

Why is keeping the place tidy, making the bed , not answering the call immediately , should be great problem for any kid?
i can understand if they do not eat properly, miss to do homework, not willing to go to relatives home etc. and likes to play all the time.

 

[renuka]

renukaji

Why is keeping the place tidy, making the bed , not answering the call immediately , should be great problem for any kid?
i can understand if they do not eat properly, miss to do homework, not willing to go to relatives home etc. and likes to play all the time.

Dear Sir,

I hate making beds..that's why I trained myself since I was a child to sleep on my back and lie like a corpse and when I get up the bed looks as if it is still made.

So I only have to fold the blanket..that also I don't like cos I hate to fold clothes too.

I hang all the clothes on the hanger in the closet.

 

[sarang]

Danda was quite common both at home and in school. All kids got caning for hundred reasons - intransigence, not doing home work, pranks, copying etc. But all understood and accepted that punishment was just and natural for their misdemeanor and there were no hard feelings; and definitely no scars (then or later) nor grudge against teachers.

Now, in this adharmic age, any punishment in school is considered objectionable. The teachers sell question papers, registrars/vice chancellors change marks and results. Transgression is viewed as a right, as most youngsters and tie wearing executives beat red light with impunity (and make fun of law abiders). Hyderabad traffic police was criticized for posting the video of a girl beating a red light and run over by a bus.

I am told by a friend in UK that even touching a child by the teacher is forbidden; neither the child nor the teacher can ensure whether it is a good-touch or a bad-touch.

The book - one minute manager - was popular; the praise or admonition must be short and effective without malice. I do not object to one short, sharp caning without malice or damage. Of course modern teachers will need training and sensitization. In those good old days, teachers never vent their frustration or problems on the caning.

 

[P.J.]

Danda was quite common both at home and in school. All kids got caning for hundred reasons - intransigence, not doing home work, pranks, copying etc. But all understood and accepted that punishment was just and natural for their misdemeanor and there were no hard feelings; and definitely no scars (then or later) nor grudge against teachers.

Now, in this adharmic age, any punishment in school is considered objectionable. The teachers sell question papers, registrars/vice chancellors change marks and results. Transgression is viewed as a right, as most youngsters and tie wearing executives beat red light with impunity (and make fun of law abiders). Hyderabad traffic police was criticized for posting the video of a girl beating a red light and run over by a bus.

I am told by a friend in UK that even touching a child by the teacher is forbidden; neither the child nor the teacher can ensure whether it is a good-touch or a bad-touch.

The book - one minute manager - was popular; the praise or admonition must be short and effective without malice. I do not object to one short, sharp caning without malice or damage. Of course modern teachers will need training and sensitization. In those good old days, teachers never vent their frustration or problems on the caning.

sarang Sir

Not only in UK, touching the kid is not appreciated in any foreign countries; this is because the motive behind the touch is very difficult to predict nowadays. Also not only punishment in School is forbidden, it is also forbidden by parents in their home also.
We were brought up in a different time, when Danda worked very well and accepted.
Recently the news about Norwegian Government taking the custody of the Indian Parents child was viewed by many Indians a strange one. Even certain type of treating the Child by parents are not allowed in Norway.

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[P.J.]

Dear Sir,

I hate making beds..that's why I trained myself since I was a child to sleep on my back and lie like a corpse and when I get up the bed looks as if it is still made.

So I only have to fold the blanket..that also I don't like cos I hate to fold clothes too.

I hang all the clothes on the hanger in the closet.

renukaji

It is very difficult to sleep the whole night without ever disturbing the bed!! Are you kidding?

 

[renuka]

renukaji

It is very difficult to sleep the whole night without ever disturbing the bed!! Are you kidding?

Nope its not....just lie flat on bed..clasps your hands on your chest and lie down.
If you ever need to move to the side..move slowly.

It is years of training for not wanting to make a bed..so practice makes perfect.