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All response conversations are in the correct direction.

Being far away and having a feeling unable to participate shows your sradhdha. Srardham is basically on shradhdha (meaning involvement with faith). As quoted Sradhdhehi idhi srardhaha.

Varushaapdhiham ritual will have to be performed by the eldest son who might have performed the rituals on his father's death day and lit the fire to burn his eternal body remains. As far as possible, you can keep thinking of that departed soul and do and keep fasting till the varushaapdhiham ceremony is completed and brahmans leave after taking food in your Tamilnadu house.  Time difference may also help you in this regard I suppose.

From the next year as senior members advised here, srardham may be performed by all sons independently if they are not living together as an undivided family with a common kitchen.

These are all hearsay information from my childhood.  I submit that I am neither a purohit nor I know srardha mantras in full.


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