What would you propose to stop violant culture among young boys?

[P.J.]

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The 26 victims of a mass shooting at a suburban Connecticut elementary school included 20 children all aged six or seven, in one of the worst shooting sprees in US history.

The alleged gunman was also identified as Adam Lanza, a 20-year-old, who was found dead at the scene.

"The violence in the entertainment culture, particularly with the extraordinary realism to video games and movies now, does cause vulnerable young men, particularly, to be more violent,"

Nowadays, In India, more and more Children play video games, particularly shooting games; also in movies we see more violence in the name of heroic act. Will this lead to violent tendency among young boys and adults?



In India, everyday we also read many News, about acts of violence perpetrated by young boys and adults; For example “A Class 9 student stabbed his teacher to death in a classroom on Thursday allegedly because she had reprimanded him and complained to his parents about his poor performance”


Chennai schoolboy stabs teacher to death in class - Hindustan Times

How do you see this trend among youngsters in India? And what you would propose to curb this trend in future?

US school shooting victims identified - FT.com
Connecticut School Shooting Sparks Assault Weapons Ban Talk - ABC News

 

[Subhalakshmi]

With all that is going on, I would first start with children very young, teach them tolerance and make them aware of themselves and they are all unique and special, A child should always be cared for at home and at school.. if there is a problem, it has to be addressed immediately and not condone that child but care for him in such a way, he does not fall off the cracks.. once you bring a child into this world, the parents are responsible to make sure he grows up to a good human being, he need not be the best in everything but encourage him in what he does best..

Educate educate educate that is the key.. patience, love, kindness tolerance should be taught to a child right from the womb stage, I do believe in it very strongly

 

[Naina_Marbus]

14 Dec 2012 Friday’s horrific tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and sixadults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut -- has ignited a fresh round of discussion on violence in America. ( The killer, Adam Lanza, age 20, had earlier shot dead his own mother.) It is a debate about the many faces of violence in America: gunculture, lack of mental health services, and the way children are raised.

Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, Idaho talks about her personal experience. Her account begins thus:

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now getin the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books.

You can read further here: LizaLong
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Some light on the personal life of Lanza :
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/17/nancy-lanza-peter-lanza-divorce_n_2316461.html

 

[Naina_Marbus]

What can you do to stop violent culture among young boys?

The problem is not limited to boys, it includes girls as well. Except that girls react differently.
What can be done?

That is the question that is raging through the minds of most parents these days.

The answer is necessarily culture-specific and country-specific.

Mental health issues are also part of the problem and while violence cannot be entirely stopped, deaths can be avoided.

In America, freely-available guns are the primary agents of power-display and violence. A similar incidence involving children occurred at about the same time in China, where the perpetrator of violence had no access to a gun, hence he used a knife and so caused injuries but no deaths.

Britain successfully implemented a gun control law following a similar incident several years ago. But, in America, the pro-gun lobby is the biggest hurdle to cross.

 

[C RAVI]

With all that is going on, I would first start with children very young, teach them tolerance and make them aware of themselves and they are all unique and special, A child should always be cared for at home and at school.. if there is a problem, it has to be addressed immediately and not condone that child but care for him in such a way, he does not fall off the cracks.. once you bring a child into this world, the parents are responsible to make sure he grows up to a good human being, he need not be the best in everything but encourage him in what he does best..

Educate educate educate that is the key.. patience, love, kindness tolerance should be taught to a child right from the womb stage, I do believe in it very strongly

....and make them spiritually inclined to some reasonable extent.

 

[Naina_Marbus]

Educate educate educate that is the key..patience, love, kindness tolerance should be taught to a child right from thewomb stage, I do believe in it very strongly

Madam Subhalakshmi :

Yours is an excellent point of view.

Nevertheless, there is the saying that “You can only take a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink”.

In our family, we were 5 brothers. Our parents were always ready to give us good education, send us to good reputed schools. The first 3 brothers went through this process without a hitch. But the next 2?

They were also sent to the same good schools, but that was also the time of the DK’s virulent hatred-politics. So, these last two brothers were in the midst of friends whose parents subscribed to DK philosophy, so these 2 brothers never studied properly, became bullies at school, never got good grades, flunked, stayed put in the same grade for a second year, and it was a herculean task to even make them finish school graduation. The parents were helpless. The only alternative would have been to move out of Tamilnadu, but that was not feasible.

These two brothers , now in their fifties, are still struggling to hold on to a steady job, found some girls on their own to get married to, and leading a hand-to-mouth existence, depending on financial help from parents and the other brothers.

We know what went wrong. But definitely it was not for lack of trying (to educate) on the parents’ part.

….patience, love, kindness, tolerance.. whatever, they were the same for all the brothers, our parents dished out the same treatment to every one, so why this differential ?

In my view, it is a combination of the influence of the surrounding community/society, school and social environment and inherent genetic/neurological dispositions. Especially during early adolescence.

Nevertheless, parents should pay attention to your recipe.

 

[P.J.]

Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.
Marriage and Divorce

Probably the children are more affected when a single parent nurse them; they do not see much love and affection in their homes, nor they they go to Churches for prayers.
So the kids do not understand the logic of Tolerance, when their parents themselves do not Tolerate each other in their own home.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I understand your point Naina Marbus.. It is not a easy world, specially these days the kids can be swayed very easily.. even in the name of political parties a lot goes on.. We can only wish them well and send good vibes towards them and pray that they are helped.

 

[biswa]

Mental illness is just that a disease. The best an educated parent can do is to spot it early and take remedial action.