We must have to gives some concession to selective memory. For those of us, past 50, our teens are a distant timeline, and most of us are orphans, such that our parents, who might have a different opinion of how we behaved, are long gone.
So far, I have only relative, who has confessed that he was a troublesome child, and brought problems (oor vambu) home.
All the rest including moi, consider ourselves goody two shoes - which means we tend to forget the bad, and remember only the good. which may not be bad in the ultimate picture of things.
For our times, our demands were probably more than what our parents could afford. Maybe we did not express our desires, in the knowledge that our request would be a futile exercise.
Times today have changed beyond the normal linear progression. One must not discount not only the improved communication, which makes a novelty in one part of the world, becomes a desirability for rest of the world, almost immediately. Thanks to the internet, sights and sounds of Europe or America, are no longer exotic. This I speak for most urban Indians, middle class and above.
Add to it the rise in living standards and increased prosperity. Today’s parents have far more disposable income, and small families – the result being that there is more money over fewer headcounts.
Just last week in Neeya Naana show of Vijay TV, there was a discussion on pocket money for teen aged college students. The selected group, across all tamil society, but all middle class (from the looks of it) were having a lifestyle and gadgets, much similar to any teenager in the west. Except, in India, it was considered an entitlement to be expected from the parents, whereas in the west, most teenagers, take up some part time job to fund their fancies and whims.
The teenagers in the neeya naana show had an average of over 1000 ruppees per month as pocket money, with many of them much more than that. Also 70% of these and their counterparts outside, confessed to taking money from their household, without their parents’ knowledge.
Rightfully, so, Gopinath summed this up, as parents not doing their job right. Strict discipline is not the solution. It is building of the trust, educating the child as to the value of the money and how to spend it wisely.
How many of today’s parents make it a deliberate habit to spend atleast an hour with their child, querying about what happened in their lives and providing input. So, it does come as surprise, when suddenly the child wants to marry someone, a progress that would have been evident, had their been continuous contact and interaction (hopefully)..
Parenting is always a challenge, if we take the role seriously. It is said, that the parents’ influence decreases exponentially, once the school age begins (at 6) with it being null around 14 or 15. Anything the parent says is opposed. It is only till the late twenties that the children come back, and appear to appreciate their parents (if ever).
So, if we search back in our own memory database, maybe some of us atleast, can accept the fact, that we were as much a challenge to our parents, as current day kids are to theirs. Atleast nothing has changed on that front.
