படித்ததில் கலங்க வைத்தது...

[P.J.]

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படித்ததில் கலங்க வைத்தது...

படித்ததில் கலங்க வைத்தது...


அவள் ஒரு கிராமத்து அம்மா...... நான்பேருந்துக்காக நின்று கொண்டு இருந்தேன்...... என்னிடம் வந்தாள்....." ஆத்தா இத எப்படி பேசுவது? சொல்லித் தறியா?

கையில் புதிய போன்..." நான் சொன்னேன்:" அம்மா பச்சை பட்டன் அமுக்கினால் பேசணும்.....சிகப்பு பட்டன் அமுக்கினால் கட் பண்றது அம்மா என்று சொன்னேன்.... அதற்கு அந்த அம்மா:_" இது என்னோட பையன் வாங்கி கொடுத்தது....." எவ்வளவு பெருமிதம்...... . அந்த அம்மா முகத்தில்......

என்னோட பையன் வெளிநாட்டுல இருக்கான்...... மாசம் ஒரு தடவை பேசுவான்......... இந்த தடவை இரண்டு மாசம் ஆச்சு? பேசவே இல்லை..... அவருடைய பையன் பேரை சொல்லி அவன் எப்பையாவது போன் பண்ணி இருக்கான்னு பாரும்மா...?" என்றாள்...

நான் பார்த்தேன்..... ..அந்த பையன் call பண்ணவே இல்லை...... நான் சொன்னேன் ஒரு தடவை call பண்ணி இருக்காங்க..... .. நீங்க தான் பாக்கலை பச்சை என்று நெனைச்சு சிகப்ப அமுக்கிடிங்க போல் " அப்டி என்று பொய் சொன்னேன்... அம்மாக்கு அவ்வளவு சந்தோசம்.......

... சாப்டீங்களா அம்மா.......என்று கேட்டேன்.... எங்க என்னோட ராசா சாப்டானோ இல்லையோ? எனக்கு அவனை நெனைச்சா சாப்பாடே இறங்கல....

நான் சொன்னேன்........ நீங்க நல்லா சாப்டா தானே உங்க பையன் வரும்போது என்னோட ராசா என்று கட்டி பிடிக்க தெம்பு இருக்கும் என்றேன்...... அந்த தாய் அழுது விட்டாள்..... அப்டியா ஆத்தா சொல்ற இனிமேலே சாப்டறேன்....... எனக்கு அழுகை வந்து விட்டது....

வெளி நாட்டில் இருக்கும் வெளி ஊரில் இருக்கும் சகோதர்களே உங்கள் தாயிடம் பேசுங்கள்.... அம்மா என்ற சொல்லுக்காக ஏங்குபவள்......... அவளுக்கு என்றும் நீங்கள் குழந்தை தான்..



Source: Ananthanarayanan Ramaswamy

 

[krish44]

very nice. the story is for next generation. I wish some read it .and pnone their parents.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Children, when they grow up, facing the challenges of life is givenmore priority with love and affection towards parents pushed to the back seat.
Why talk of the son/daughter who is abroad, we have seenfamilies living within the same house, but don’t speak with one another.

 

[krish44]

Children, when they grow up, facing the challenges of life is givenmore priority with love and affection towards parents pushed to the back seat.
Why talk of the son/daughter who is abroad, we have seenfamilies living within the same house, but don’t speak with one another.

quite true . many husbands and wives also do not speak to each other staying under the same roof .

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Recently I had been to a Bank where the Bank staff at oneCounter was collecting data from an applicant of young generation for sanctionof some loan. When the Bank staff askedfor the name of applicant’s grandfather, applicant was blinking as thoughshe has asked some complicated question. He was unable to answer immediately. He spoke to his dad over phone and got the name then. This is a sample case to show how the young generationmaintains the relationship with parents…and so on.

 

[P.J.]

These days kids are very smart; they learn the names of their grand parents, date of birth, parents date of birth, their marriage date etc ; But in our young days we never learnt all these, because no celebration was done on those days.

 

[vgane]

In the 80's & 90's trunk calls were used for calling..It was very expensive..So the phone calls used to be a rarity..

We used to write lengthy letters

Now hand written letters are a casualty

Now the mobile calls are made to discuss what was made for lunch and dinner..

Distance is no more a constraint..Calls are also cheap

It is almost a daily call in case of daughter and a weekly call for the son...

 

[krish44]

In the 80's & 90's trunk calls were used for calling..It was very expensive..So the phone calls used to be a rarity..

We used to write lengthy letters

Now hand written letters are a casualty

Now the mobile calls are made to discuss what was made for lunch and dinner..

Distance is no more a constraint..Calls are also cheap

It is almost a daily call in case of daughter and a weekly call for the son...

Vgane sir one thing I do not understand Why daughters call daily and son once a week . have tried to make son call more frequently as I think it should not be a gender issue . What do you
think?

 

[vgane]

Vgane sir one thing I do not understand Why daughters call daily and son once a week . have tried to make son call more frequently as I think it should not be a gender issue . What do you
think?

We expect the son to call daily..But he is under the tutelage of wife..So he calls less..I am joking Sir

Actually the need for building bond is stronger in women who would love to be in touch with near and dear as much as possible..This urge is stronger in women compared to men...The girl gets more indebted to parents and siblings more than the son!

 

[P.J.]

Daily talking between daughter and mother even without any matter for a long time is possible,

Usually sons talk less to their parents compared to daughters to their parents.

As nowadays Kids are put into various activities like Swimming classes, Music classes, Soccer, Tennis, and other classes daughters too find less time to talk.

In this respect Magic Jack , internet phone facility ,a device widely purchased by sons/ daughters residing in US for the benefit of their parents in India and other countries is very useful.

(magicJack - Plans)


The calls made from India/ or from any other country using Magic Jack Phone Facility is very cheap; it is like local calls made in US.

An yearly fees for 29.95$ for unlimited calls

We got this one in India also our daughter in UK has this one.

 

[krish44]

We expect the son to call daily..But he is under the tutelage of wife..So he calls less..I am joking Sir

Actually the need for building bond is stronger in women who would love to be in touch with near and dear as much as possible..This urge is stronger in women compared to men...The girl gets more indebted to parents and siblings more than the son!

It is interesting Vganeji
when a son does not call when he is a bachelor , mothers overlook and forgive . If after marriage ,he does the same , the blame goes to daughterin law that , she might have influenced this behaviour . but it is a fact that they call less . many sons say that they have nothing much to convey everyday .but daughters talk on nothing for hours.personal experience

both children are equally indebted these days as both are educated and economic entities and run their homes and go to offices for work.

equally interesting is sisters bond better with each other than men in families after marriage. They keep in touch and take care of each other . men -siblings drift apart and are more business like and less emotional about each other

is it the experience of many or am I generalising

 

[krish44]

Daily talking between daughter and mother even without any matter for a long time is possible,

Usually sons talk less to their parents compared to daughters to their parents.

As nowadays Kids are put into various activities like Swimming classes, Music classes, Soccer, Tennis, and other classes daughters too find less time to talk.

In this respect Magic Jack , internet phone facility ,a device widely purchased by sons/ daughters residing in US for the benefit of their parents in India and other countries is very useful.

(magicJack - Plans)


The calls made from India/ or from any other country using Magic Jack Phone Facility is very cheap; it is like local calls made in US.

An yearly fees for 29.95$ for unlimited calls

We got this one in India also our daughter in UK has this one.

useful info. on magic jack plans . I use matrix cards on foreign visits to keep in touch with people . very convenient and effective . tried all over europe . their home service in india is very good.

 

[renuka]

Vgane sir one thing I do not understand Why daughters call daily and son once a week . have tried to make son call more frequently as I think it should not be a gender issue . What do you
think?

Krish ji,

Dont you get it?? Females love to talk and talk and talk! LOL

 

[renuka]

equally interesting is sisters bond better with each other than men in families after marriage. They keep in touch and take care of each other . men -siblings drift apart and are more business like and less emotional about each other

Aiyoooo..the sister relationship is something I can never really understand..I have no sister..I have 2 brothers.

But my relatives and friends who have sisters..its sometimes scary to see how they think!

Its all about competition on who got the better husband..who looks more beautiful..who has a bigger house..whose husband earns more..who has latest jewelery etc.

I have a friend who wants to buy some property abroad even though she does not need it just becos her sister bought some property abroad..just to keep up.

More the females in a family...the more the desires that grow..but somehow they will get together to gossip when there is something to gossip.

Brothers I have noted..dont really compete with each other..they are more like friends.

But if you ask a group of sisters "hey why are you so jealous of each other" that time they will forget their differences and jump on you!LOL


I being a female myself till now cant really understand female relationships etc..sometimes I wonder how lesbians get along!LOL

 

[krish44]

Aiyoooo..the sister relationship is something I can never really understand..I have no sister..I have 2 brothers.

But my relatives and friends who have sisters..its sometimes scary to see how they think!

Its all about competition on who got the better husband..who looks more beautiful..who has a bigger house..whose husband earns more..who has latest jewelery etc.

I have a friend who wants to buy some property abroad even though she does not need it just becos her sister bought some property abroad..just to keep up.

More the females in a family...the more the desires that grow..but somehow they will get together to gossip when there is something to gossip.

Brothers I have noted..dont really compete with each other..they are more like friends.

But if you ask a group of sisters "hey why are you so jealous of each other" that time they will forget their differences and jump on you!LOL


I being a female myself till now cant really understand female relationships etc..sometimes I wonder how lesbians get along!LOL

Sisters when they meet , they do not think much.

they compare notes on husbands , siblings , property , jewellery [ both real and artificial in pondy bazar and T nagar] , culinary delights , kitchen utensils and gadgets in various homes besides their inlaws , neighbours , pets , diyadesams they have visited and how many are left , sadhus ,sanyasis , politics of amma and other brahmins ., clothes- silk sarees ,shopping deals. the lists get longer depending on time availability

on my chennai trips , home town of my better half , I get a lot of time to pursue my interests
separately.

when I meet my brothers , we talk about the weather , health ,politics and not dig further

.I do not know if this can be called friendship

 

[vgane]

Aiyoooo..the sister relationship is something I can never really understand..I have no sister..I have 2 brothers.

But my relatives and friends who have sisters..its sometimes scary to see how they think!

Its all about competition on who got the better husband..who looks more beautiful..who has a bigger house..whose husband earns more..who has latest jewelery etc.

Though there is gossip which is uniform among the sisters fraternity, jealousy cannot be a uniform trait...Generally sisters will not wish any harm to the other..All curses and bad mouthing are for the in-laws and sambhandi mostly

 

[rishikesan]

All the above comments are real. When we say that a daughter is more attached to parents is true , because all experience this . When it comes to son, we say , he is , compared to daughters do notb talk daily but may be often as occasions would demand. It is said that the Son is influenced negatively by the daughter-in-law & hence it is an all prevailing situation.
On the other hand daughters must have conditioned her husbands mind/ out look & is able to talk daily with no objection from the Son-in-law. After all a Male is a Male & a Female is a Female ? So let it be " not to take it seriously since all Brahmin Families have reconciled to this & enjoy life by visiting U.S. at least a couple of times, & should be thankful to both Daughters & Sons.
One thing we know pretty well is that when a lady friend/ relative visit our place, even if it is with her husband, the 2 ladies would go on taking , changing topics with ease , not having time sense & , when it is time to leave, the ladies come out of the house & when bidding Good-Bye , would say something & that something would start a conversation for some more minutes. Then they leave . Men will not have much to converse, & for wife;s sake keep patience / that is how, deep friendship grows bet. women. Men have no way to change. ? Veetuku veedu Vaasappadi

Rishikesan

 

[krish44]

Rishikesanji
I liked the line , ladies would have a conversation again outside the house fora few minutes with the lady of the house after bidding goodbye inside the house while leaving . A situation most frequently faced by waiting husbands all over india.you are very correct sir

we do not escape to US . we prefer more exotic countries where there are no south indian ladies available for long conversations.lol

 

[renuka]

Though there is gossip which is uniform among the sisters fraternity, jealousy cannot be a uniform trait...Generally sisters will not wish any harm to the other..All curses and bad mouthing are for the in-laws and sambhandi mostly

Well you have a valid point here but somehow sisters tend to be busy bodies and interfere with each others lives.

I have seen when a younger sister gets married the elder sister will give all sorts of advice on how to control husband and how not to give too much face to inlaws etc..all these I feel is bad cos that poisons a persons mind.

I feel its up to a newly wed to see for herself how her in laws are..if they are nice then be nice if they are not that nice then we should know how to act accordingly but if we go in with the mindset that they are going to be bad we could be ruining a chance to be happy.

So that way sometimes sisters damage each others life by dumb advice.

 

[veekumar]

I agree. Sons are equally affectionate.

 

[krish44]

Well you have a valid point here but somehow sisters tend to be busy bodies and interfere with each others lives.

I have seen when a younger sister gets married the elder sister will give all sorts of advice on how to control husband and how not to give too much face to inlaws etc..all these I feel is bad cos that poisons a persons mind.

I feel its up to a newly wed to see for herself how her in laws are..if they are nice then be nice if they are not that nice then we should know how to act accordingly but if we go in with the mindset that they are going to be bad we could be ruining a chance to be happy.

So that way sometimes sisters damage each others life by dumb advice.

what do you think is the secret ot TB marriages success. This wonderful earthy tutoring drawing upon their own experiences adding their own masala to make it interesting, they create a mindset to handle any monster after marriage

now you know how TB husbands become dociile through constant barbs about inlaws by their dutiful wives and made to resemble poodles after a few years of marriage . only TB husbands can put up with TB wives . others will suffocate due TB ladies extra attention and love

 

[P.J.]

renukaji

Why daughters talk so much with her mother even if it is going to cost high, i wonder!!

They will be happy if a hot line is connected between mother and daughter all the time.

Boys are different!!..even if they talk once a month they talk for a very short duration.. also tell mother to put on the speaker so that his dad can also hear!!

They hate repeating the same message, they never bother about formalities like.. Sowkiyama ... etc

They go straight to the point and finish it quickly..

 

[renuka]

renukaji

Why daughters talk so much with her mother even if it is going to cost high, i wonder!!

They will be happy if a hot line is connected between mother and daughter all the time.

Boys are different!!..even if they talk once a month they talk for a very short duration.. also tell mother to put on the speaker so that his dad can also hear!!

They hate repeating the same message, they never bother about formalities like.. Sowkiyama ... etc

They go straight to the point and finish it quickly..

Dear PJ sir,

I also like to talk straight to the point and cant stand those who are long winded and never get to the point.

Those who know me well know that they have to summarize what they have in mind before they talk to me.


I will give you an example how I talk to my mum...sometimes she calls me to ask about some friend of hers health..she will always start off in a semi panic tone..ok here goes:


Mum :Renu...you know Aunty so and so? You know what happened?

Renu: Did she die?

Mum: No

Renu:Ok..is she sick?

Mum: Yes..

Renu: Is she terminally ill or its just some old age related symptom?

Mum :She was admitted becos of some fever and some bodypain etc

Renu: Ok make sure is not dengue..

Mum: Its not..doctors said its some simple viral fever

Renu:Bye bye..dont get so worked up for small illness in life.

Mum: why did I ever call you! (she slams the phone down)



Ok PJ sir you know why I spoke like that? Cos if given a chance this will be the conversation.

Mum :do you know Aunt so and so the one who came for your wedding..whose son if working in this company and he has 2 cute kids and the last time I saw those kids..blah blah blah..it will go on and on a never ending story!LOL


But anyway she will still call me when she wants to know something cos she knows even though I am direct to the point...I will always help when she needs help.

 

[P.J.]

renukaji

your talk is exactly like my daughter who goes to the point straight without wasting time; this is because doctors used to hear many round about stories and they very well know how to cut short the conversation..

 

[renuka]

renukaji

your talk is exactly like my daughter who goes to the point straight without wasting time; this is because doctors used to hear many round about stories and they very well know how to cut short the conversation..

Dear PJ sir,

I really cant stand long winded conversations even since a teen..cos I dont have a good attention span and I get bored very fast.

Even when I attend medical talks if the speaker goes on talking and beating about the bush after a while I wont pay attention and I will start drawing some cartoon characters on the whatever piece of paper I can get my hands on.

Another style of talking I cant tolerate is those who are not specific.

When making any appointment to go anywhere some will say 'Ok we will go after lunch?"

Then I will ask "may I know what time that would be"

Then the person says "well a little after lunch"

Now then I will tell "a little after lunch can range from anywhere from 1pm to 4pm..so can you be specific?"

Only then the person will say "Ok may be 3pm"

See PJ sir..how irritating that is..when I make appointments to go anywhere I am specific and fix a time.