வாழ்க்கைத் துணையை இழந்தவர்கள் சஷ்டியப்&#

[P.J.]

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வாழ்க்கைத் துணையை இழந்தவர்கள் சஷ்டியப்&#

வாழ்க்கைத் துணையை இழந்தவர்கள் சஷ்டியப்த பூர்த்தி, ஸதாபிஷேகம் போன்ற சாந்தி ஹோமங்களைச் செய்துகொள்ளலாமா ?


அறுபது வயது நிரம்பியவர், ஆயிரம் பிறைகளைக் கண்டவர் அததனைபேரும் ஆண்-பெண் பேதமின்றி அந்த இரண்டு சடங்குகளையும் நடைமுறைப் படுத்தலாம். வயதின் அளவை வைத்து நிகழ்த்தப்படுவதால் குறிப்பிட்ட அந்த வயதுகளை எட்டியவர்களின் பிறப்புரிமை அது.
திருமணம் ஆகாதவரும், அந்த வயதை எட்டுவார். ஆகையால் அவருக்கும் உண்டு. தம்பதிகளில் இழப்பு என்பது நிகழக் கூடிய ஒன்று. இழந்தவர்களும் வயதை எட்டுவார்கள். இருவரும் இருந்தால் மட்டுமே அதை செய்யவேண்டும் என்று இல்லை. அது தாம்பத்தியத்தின் அடிப்படையில் ஏற்படட் சடங்கு அல்ல. குறிப்பிட்ட அந்த வயதை எட்டியவர்களின் உரிமை. இறந்தவர்களின் நூ றாவது பிறந்த நாள் கொண்டாட்டம் உண்டு. வெள்ளி விழா, தங்க விழா, வைர விழா என்று அமரத்துவம் அடைந்தவர்களுக்காகவும் அனுஷ்டிப்பது உண்டு. ஆக, இழப்பைக் காரணம் காட்டி, உரிமையை மறுப்பது சரியில்லை. பண்டைய நாட்களில் இழப்பைச் சந்தித்தவர்கள், கொண்டாட்டத்தைத் தவிர்த்தார்கள்.

தனி மனிதனின் விருப்பு, வெறுப்பு, செயல்பட்டது. ஆனால் சாஸ்திரம் மறுக்கவில்லை.


- ஸ்ரீ சேஷாத்ரி நாத சாஸ்த்ரிகள் - சக்தி விகடனில் (08.02.2011)


Source: Hari Krishnamurthy

 

[Raji Ram]

Sri. Seshadrinatha sasthrigal is a very knowledgeable and practical person, known to our family very well.

He hails from my grandfather's village.

 

[krish44]

வாழ்க்கைத் துணையை இழந்தவர்கள் சஷ்டியப்த பூர்த்தி, ஸதாபிஷேகம் போன்ற சாந்தி ஹோமங்களைச் செய்துகொள்ளலாமா ?


அறுபது வயது நிரம்பியவர், ஆயிரம் பிறைகளைக் கண்டவர் அததனைபேரும் ஆண்-பெண் பேதமின்றி அந்த இரண்டு சடங்குகளையும் நடைமுறைப் படுத்தலாம். வயதின் அளவை வைத்து நிகழ்த்தப்படுவதால் குறிப்பிட்ட அந்த வயதுகளை எட்டியவர்களின் பிறப்புரிமை அது.
திருமணம் ஆகாதவரும், அந்த வயதை எட்டுவார். ஆகையால் அவருக்கும் உண்டு. தம்பதிகளில் இழப்பு என்பது நிகழக் கூடிய ஒன்று. இழந்தவர்களும் வயதை எட்டுவார்கள். இருவரும் இருந்தால் மட்டுமே அதை செய்யவேண்டும் என்று இல்லை. அது தாம்பத்தியத்தின் அடிப்படையில் ஏற்படட் சடங்கு அல்ல. குறிப்பிட்ட அந்த வயதை எட்டியவர்களின் உரிமை. இறந்தவர்களின் நூ றாவது பிறந்த நாள் கொண்டாட்டம் உண்டு. வெள்ளி விழா, தங்க விழா, வைர விழா என்று அமரத்துவம் அடைந்தவர்களுக்காகவும் அனுஷ்டிப்பது உண்டு. ஆக, இழப்பைக் காரணம் காட்டி, உரிமையை மறுப்பது சரியில்லை. பண்டைய நாட்களில் இழப்பைச் சந்தித்தவர்கள், கொண்டாட்டத்தைத் தவிர்த்தார்கள்.

தனி மனிதனின் விருப்பு, வெறுப்பு, செயல்பட்டது. ஆனால் சாஸ்திரம் மறுக்கவில்லை.


- ஸ்ரீ சேஷாத்ரி நாத சாஸ்த்ரிகள் - சக்தி விகடனில் (08.02.2011)


Source: Hari Krishnamurthy

60/80 vayadhu Kondaduvathu thani manithan viruppam than . athil sastriam engey vandadhu.

 

[9868836164]

Thanks for this reply.

 

[Raji Ram]

60/80 vayadhu Kondaduvathu thani manithan viruppam than . athil sastriram engey vandadhu.

Sri S N says that sAstram does NOT deny the celebration but it is one's own wish to do it or not!

தனி மனிதனின் விருப்பு, வெறுப்பு, செயல்பட்டது. ஆனால் சாஸ்திரம் மறுக்கவில்லை.

 

[krish44]

Sri SN approval koduthu vittar. all brahmins,widows and widowers can have a gala time celebrating 60/80 yrs. LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

Anything wrong if a person's children invite the near and dear ones to celebrate a land mark birthday of their parent?

Surely it is better than celebrating 'Valentine's day' - like copy cats!

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

Anything wrong if a person's children invite the near and dear ones to celebrate a land mark birthday of their parent?

Surely it is better than celebrating 'Valentine's day' - like copy cats!

not at all madam. all these ladies/gents are entitled to have a celebration. one of my close relation is having his 80th celebrations on march1. his wife died more than five years ago. anybodys birthday is worth celebrating. it was insensitive to have commented loosely about old singles. the loneliness they undergo specially men ,it is pathetic.

 

[Raji Ram]

Sri SN approval koduthu vittar. all brahmins,widows and widowers can have a gala time celebrating 60/80 yrs. LOL

Dear Krish Sir,

The above post ending with LOL, seemed to mock the celebrations and hence I wrote

Anything wrong if a person's children invite the near and dear ones to celebrate a land mark birthday of their parent?

The 60th / 70th / 80th birthday of ladies is NOT celebrated. It ends with a simple temple visit! ray:

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

The above post ending with LOL, seemed to mock the celebrations and hence I wrote

The 60th / 70th / 80th birthday of ladies is NOT celebrated. It ends with a simple temple visit! ray:

I have already said it was insensitive remark . Ladies are entitled to celebrate 60/'80 in a fitting manner. children can ensure that. they do not require sanction of anyone including sri SN

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

One who lost his wife is treated much better than the one who lost her husband. It is obvious in tambram community!

In a few high caste N B communities also, widows are not treated as good as widowers. It is the reality. :sad:

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

One who lost his wife is treated much better than the one who lost her husband. It is obvious in tambram community!

In a few high caste N B communities also, widows are not treated as good as widowers. It is the reality. :sad:

Times have changed.widows get better integrated with family of sons . men often have a problem . they go to daughters house after death of wife instead of son as they become unacceptable in sons families. daughters are more caring.Men even in welloff families end up in senior citizen homes due to compatibility isssues. If you look around ,you will notice this

 

[Raji Ram]

Girls take care of their parents very well and do not care that much for the in laws and you seem to forget this fact!!

In olden days, it was like an untold rule that the son has to take care of his parents but now it is not. Girls have more

power in the family and the hubby has to dance to her tunes. That is why I repeatedly write that financially independent

parents are blessed people!

Many parents have single daughter or two daughters. Daughter /s take care of their parents ONLY. Guys have NO voice! :tape:

 

[P.J.]

Dear Krish Sir,

One who lost his wife is treated much better than the one who lost her husband. It is obvious in tambram community!

In a few high caste N B communities also, widows are not treated as good as widowers. It is the reality. :sad:

Raji Madam


Yes, It may be true in some families, i do not disagree.

My mother lived almost 22 years after my father's death, and she was always respected and for her advice on many matters; it all depends upon the Families.

Some widowed women start living their life for themselves as so long they were living for the husband!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear P J Sir,

The family members may seek advice from a widowed lady but in functions, they are not given preference.

If a widowed mother gives 'pAlum, pazhamum' during 'oonjal' in her son's wedding, many will frown, even now! :tsk:

 

[vgane]

Dear Krish Sir,

The above post ending with LOL, seemed to mock the celebrations and hence I wrote

The 60th / 70th / 80th birthday of ladies is NOT celebrated. It ends with a simple temple visit! ray:

We recently got an invite for the Sadabhishekam of our family friend who is 80 years..Her husband passed away a decade back...It was celebrated by the adopted son in a mini hall..It was a religious function..I think we should not discriminate between widow and widower for celebrating 60th or 80th Birthdays

 

[P.J.]

Dear P J Sir,

The family members may seek advice from a widowed lady but in functions, they are not given preference.

If a widowed mother gives 'pAlum, pazhamum' during 'oonjal' in her son's wedding, many will frown, even now! :tsk:

This News might interest you

Widows Peak? Women Without Husbands Allowed To Perform Religious Rituals At Hindu Temple In Southern India


An historic event of sorts took place over the weekend in southern India when two widows performed religious rituals at a Hindu temple. At the beginning of Mangalore Dasara, an annual Hindu festival, two widows – identified only as “Lakshmi” and “Indira” -- conducted religious ceremonies at the Kudroli Shree Gokarnanatheshwara Temple in Mangalore in the state of Karnataka, after four months training as priests.

In a society where widows are typically shunned and regarded as inauspicious (and often kept away from temple events), the scenario at the Mangalore temple was quite unusual, perhaps unprecedented. The Bangalore Mirror newspaper reported that the women were taken inside the sanctum sanctorum of the temple, where the Hindu idols of Shiva and Annapoorneshwari were placed, and offered puja (reverence/worship) to the deities. BBC reported that hundreds of people watched the ceremony, which was also attended by Christians and Muslims, and featured a performance by accompanying musicians.
"Women who have lost their husbands should not be called 'widows',” said B. Janardhan Poojary, a prominent local politician and former federal minister, at a press conference last week, according to the Daijiworld news website. “They must not be discriminated against and kept out of religious rituals. They must be treated as equal to men.”

Poojary also said that the two women will subsequently continue to serve the temple as ordained priestesses, earning a monthly salary. "There is a saying… which means 'mother is God,'” he added. “All are equal in the eyes of God. All possess the same rights in society… Nowhere has it been written that women should not perform religious rituals after they become widows, nor should they be discriminated against. Hence, with a view to give a woman her rights in society and to respect her like a mother, this step has been taken.”

 

[Raji Ram]

There was a discussion about the widows performing religious rituals at temples, in our forum.

A good news indeed, since the equality is shown in real life and not in mere writing!

 

[krish44]

There was a discussion about the widows performing religious rituals at temples, in our forum.

A good news indeed, since the equality is shown in real life and not in mere writing!

in orissa and backward areas of jharkhand and bihar ,some widows are branded as witches and beaten and sometimes killed if any calamity strikes a village. tis is the other end of the spectrum

 

[krish44]

india is aq land of contradictions. in orissa and backwardareas of bihar and jharkhand widows are branded as witches and beaten and even killed in case of calamity in village

 

[Raji Ram]

I know Krish Sir! But let the tambrams stop celebrating ONLY the 'sumangalis'! :hail:

A lady who dies after leaving her children in her widowed mother's custody is prayed every year. ray:

Whereas, the one who struggled to bring up her children is not prayed at all! Sad, isn't it?

 

[krish44]

I know Krish Sir! But let the tambrams stop celebrating ONLY the 'sumangalis'! :hail:

A lady who dies after leaving her children in her widowed mother's custody is prayed every year. ray:

Whereas, the one who struggled to bring up her children is not prayed at all! Sad, isn't it?

I think TBs are sending a bad message to the community recognising sumangalis who die leaving their young children behind. lady performers need to be recognised for their contributions in bringing up children. some take care off 2 generations due to untimely passing away of first generation.I have met some amazing widowed ladies who are very talented with excellent organising capability in marriage functions of grand children whom they have brought up

 

[Raji Ram]

You have not understood my post, Krish Sir! 'Stop celebrating ONLY sumangalis' implies that we should celebrate ALL the ladies

WITHOUT any discrimination. Why not we have a poojA for praying ALL the elders who have left for heavenly abode? ray:

 

[krish44]

You have not understood my post, Krish Sir! 'Stop celebrating ONLY sumangalis' implies that we should celebrate ALL the ladies

WITHOUT any discrimination. Why not we have a poojA for praying ALL the elders who have left for heavenly abode? ray:

frankly I did not know that there was any discrimination in between sumangalis and widows as far as remembrances are concerned .we have not discriminated in our family . so I do not know . for all in our family we have an archana to God at the nearest temple - saivite or vaishnavite whichever is in close proximity and contribution to some charity in the name of dead relative male or female

 

[tbs]

You have not understood my post, Krish Sir! 'Stop celebrating ONLY sumangalis' implies that we should celebrate ALL the ladies

WITHOUT any discrimination. Why not we have a poojA for praying ALL the elders who have left for heavenly abode? ray:

hi RR madam,

now a days ALL ARE SUMANGALIS......some widows have affairs now....some times WIDOWS are sitting in the front row

of many functions....the days are gone.....many house widows are very happy with her husband's pension...i heard like this..

INTHA BRAHMANAN POI SERNTHAU ROMBA NALLA POCCHU...ILLAATI INTHA MANUSHAN DINAMUM EN KAZHUTHAI ARUKARAR....

many widows get sympathi/some money from kids/grand kids too...so sometimes widows are very happy than sumangalis...