1980 to 2014

[P.J.]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

1980 to 2014

1980 ல் பெண் பார்க்கும்போது கேட்கப்படும் 5 கேள்விகள்.


1.பொண்ணுக்கு சமைக்க தெரியுமா?
2.பொண்ணுக்கு பாட தெரியுமா?
3.பெரியவங்கள அன்பா பார்த்துக்க தெரியுமா?
4.பொண்ணு அடக்கமா இருக்குமா?
5.வீட்டுக்கு ஏற்ற மருமகளா இருப்பாளா?



2014 ல் பெண் பார்க்கும்போது கேட்கப்படும் 5 கேள்விகள்.


1.பொண்ணுக்கு Facebook ல அக்கவுண்ட் இருக்கா?
2.Whats app,Skype உபயோகிக்க தெரியுமா?
3.வாரத்துல ஒரு தடவையாது சமைப்பாளா?
4.என் பையனவிட கம்மியா படிச்சிருக்காளா?
5.கராத்தே கிளாஸ்லாம் போகமாட்டாள்ளே?


PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN THOUGHTS



Source: Maalai Malar Thaiz

 

[cmano1981]

Parents have to ask their daughter(s) - whether they like anyone they know or they can proceed with arranged marriage.

If is arranged marriage, boys family need to ask a) how will she cope up with work life vs personal life b) if the boy gets relocated to a new location what will she want to do with her work c) what is her expectation from her husband d) Interests and e) Commitments

 

[JR]

I remember being seen by a prospective groom's family (without the groom) way back in 1993! The groom was just 1 yr older than me. And his brother-in-law started asking me questions such as i) Do you have a license? Do you know to drive a car? ii) Can you understand American accent? iii) Have you passed GRE/GMAT/TOFIL exams? ... and so forth!

I thought this person (groom's family member) was just showing off as they all knew very well before hand that we are middle class whereas they were kinda super-rich with a large, huge independent house right in the heart of T.Nagar's busiest streets and had multiple cars!

 

[renuka]

I remember being seen by a prospective groom's family (without the groom) way back in 1993! The groom was just 1 yr older than me. And his brother-in-law started asking me questions such as i) Do you have a license? Do you know to drive a car? ii) Can you understand American accent? iii) Have you passed GRE/GMAT/TOFIL exams? ... and so forth!

I thought this person (groom's family member) was just showing off as they all knew very well before hand that we are middle class whereas they were kinda super-rich with a large, huge independent house right in the heart of T.Nagar's busiest streets and had multiple cars!

dear JR,

I remember one of the marriage proposals I got was from an accountant who sat like a mouse and his father did all the talking.

His dad asked me these questions:

1)Do you drive..

I said "yes" and he said "good..cos my son does not like to drive and you can drive him to work after marriage"


2)Then his father told me to specialize in Pediatrics or Obs and Gyn so that I do not have to see adult male patients.



I told my dad right away after they left that my answer is NO.

Who the heck would want to marry a guy who cant drive? and also have a FIL who does not want me to see adult male patients.

 

[P.J.]

dear JR,

I remember one of the marriage proposals I got was from an accountant who sat like a mouse and his father did all the talking.

His dad asked me these questions:










.

Probably after seeing you, he became a mouse like person !!!

 

[renuka]

Probably after seeing you, he became a mouse like person !!!

Dear PJ sir,

There are some guys who are like mice when they are young but as they age especially when they cross 70 years of age they become angry birds!LOL

 

[Vaagmi]

dear JR,

I remember one of the marriage proposals I got was from an accountant who sat like a mouse and his father did all the talking.

His dad asked me these questions:

1)Do you drive..

I said "yes" and he said "good..cos my son does not like to drive and you can drive him to work after marriage"


2)Then his father told me to specialize in Pediatrics or Obs and Gyn so that I do not have to see adult male patients.



I told my dad right away after they left that my answer is NO.

Who the heck would want to marry a guy who cant drive? and also have a FIL who does not want me to see adult male patients.

Renukaji,

I never knew Pediatrics involves seeing only female patients.

Or is there any rule in Medical sciences about when a male becomes a male or a female becomes a female?

I am weak in natural sciences. Help me. LOL.

 

[renuka]

Renukaji,

I never knew Pediatrics involves seeing only female patients.

Or is there any rule in Medical sciences about when a male becomes a male or a female becomes a female?

I am weak in natural sciences. Help me. LOL.

Vaagmi ji...did you see that I wrote :

2)Then his father told me to specialize in Pediatrics or Obs and Gyn so that I do not have to see adult male patients.

He did not mind me seeing kutty male patients.

 

[cmano1981]

I remember being seen by a prospective groom's family (without the groom) way back in 1993! The groom was just 1 yr older than me. And his brother-in-law started asking me questions such as i) Do you have a license? Do you know to drive a car? ii) Can you understand American accent? iii) Have you passed GRE/GMAT/TOFIL exams? ... and so forth!

I thought this person (groom's family member) was just showing off as they all knew very well before hand that we are middle class whereas they were kinda super-rich with a large, huge independent house right in the heart of T.Nagar's busiest streets and had multiple cars!

Many people do not know what to talk and what not to talk with strangers.. in this case I see relevance to asking whether to drive car and have license. If one lives in areas outside cities like SF or states like NJ/NY, having a car and driving is indispensable.. Probably Brother-in-law did not express his questions right... but his intention in asking them seems right

 

[JR]

Many people do not know what to talk and what not to talk with strangers.. in this case I see relevance to asking whether to drive car and have license. If one lives in areas outside cities like SF or states like NJ/NY, having a car and driving is indispensable.. Probably Brother-in-law did not express his questions right... but his intention in asking them seems right

Actually you are right! We never know the intentions of another person just from a single formal interaction, unless they explicitly do something to disrespect you... But in this case, what gave me that feeling was that i) Without living in America, how will I be following American accent? Even then, it is not something hard to pick up once you start living in America ii) My background (at that time) was in Life Sciences (Nutrition & Dietetics) and they knew that! So what is the point in asking me if I passed GRE/GMAT/TOEFIL, etc?.. Things like that.

But I do have to acknowledge that I appreciate them having come forth to see me for a prospective bride, despite the difference in wealth & status. This and some other experiences as this has motivated me to take on a very broad-minded outlook and perspective towards others of differing socio-economic statuses, when I am well in my life now...

 

[kama]

renuka I am proud of you and you are a gutsy lady :flypig: I love your answer :hurt:

 

[kama]

JR,
I think it is like one way traffic !! Only boy's side can ask questions and similar kind of questions, I wondered the girl's side can ask ??:noidea: !!!

 

[JR]

renuka I am proud of you and you are a gutsy lady :flypig: I love your answer :hurt:

Oh...! And I forgot to appreciate Renuka for her good thinking on the 'seeing adult males' issue raised by this oxymoron groom's father!

I agree with Kama ji, Renu, bravo to you dear! :hug:

 

[krish44]

Now the most commonly asked questions
1. if the girl is working in a different city, whether she will transfer to the city where groom is located
2. Whether she will give up her job to relocate
3. whether she is willing to put up with boys parents if they stay with the boy
most boys parents [retd parents] live with the fear that they will get thrown out after marriage by DIL
4.Whether her office workhours are reasonable[no one likes girls working in BPOs]
5. whether they will foist girls parents on the boy [this they ask the parents of the girl -where they will stay after the girl is married-how far?
6whether girls parents have homes of their own or would like daughters to support them upto end of life
7. most assume that working girls are unlikely to cook , definitely not for inlaws on a daily basis -though they do ask if the girls can cook. most boys parents boast about cooking capabilities of their bachelor boys.lol
8 Girls get probed on interests and pastimes just to verify partying , beauty parlour visits , movie going preferances
9. whether girls job involves going on tours or working extra hours or working from homes
10. food preferences- specially liking for non-veg food, drinking habits if any[this is enquired into discreetly]. Boys though like girls who can atleast share a light drink
or atleast put up with their drinking and make snacks for them for boozing sessions
11, most girls would like to chat with boys on skype a few times , meet out atleast once before saying yes.Many prospective alliances break after these chats or dates
when girls get horrified with boys value systems

 

[krish44]

Oh...! And I forgot to appreciate Renuka for her good thinking on the 'seeing adult males' issue raised by this oxymoron groom's father!

I agree with Kama ji, Renu, bravo to you dear! :hug:

Parents who have to settle marriages of boys have to be treated with a lot of sympathy as times have changed.

Most pitiable are boys fathers. They frankly would not like to get involved in boys marriages

I had one relative who told me arranging marriage for his son is not his cup of tea.Mostly mothers of boys take up the role of finding a suitable match

On matrimonial sites , if one contacts boys parents, the father would normally either refer it to his wife to talk further confessing his ignorance or he would require to

be guided by his wife who would tell him what to talk continously from behind. if he fails in this , the mother of the boys would take over.

most mother of boys these days try to sell themselves to prospective daughter in law saying how they are non interfering and how they would treat prospective DIL like

their daughter . Some would even oversell saying they do not have a daughter and DIL will fulfill her wish to have a daughter in the family.

pl do not think , these are unreal stories it is really happening in TB matrimonial sites.

 

[P.J.]

Dear PJ sir,

There are some guys who are like mice when they are young but as they age especially when they cross 70 years of age they become angry birds!LOL

It all depends upon how one deals/ interact/communicate with such persons!!

 

[Raji Ram]

... I think it is like one way traffic !! Only boy's side can ask questions and similar kind of questions, I wondered the girl's side can ask ??:noidea: !!!

:noidea: for you, madam? When you find time, please go through some girl's profiles in matrimony sites! You see the list of

'demands' from modern girls. In arranged marriages, grooms parents mostly :tape: and bride's MOM fires the questions! :blah:

 

[renuka]

renuka I am proud of you and you are a gutsy lady :flypig: I love your answer :hurt:

Dear Kama,

I have many more weird stories about marriage proposals..some are really funny!LOL

This I have written many times in forum but I dont mind repeating it.

One other proposal I had..the guy was also a doc and he was a orthopedician and he did not come to view me..only his parents and sisters came and they brought just a picture of him.

I was wondering what type of guy wont turn up to view a bride unless he is having a girlfriend and being forced by his parents.

Anyway this is the best part..Ok..before that I am Non Brahmin but my family is veg.

This mappillais family was not happy that I was veg and wanted me to start eating non veg.

To that I said Nope..I will remain a veg and the father of the groom was not happy.

He said that both husband and wife should eat the same food and since their family was Non Veg I had to become Non Veg.

I still said Nope and he was getting a bit annoyed..my dad too was getting a bit pissed but he did not show it.

Than the grooms dad started saying "all my other Daughters In Law can cut chicken..fish..mutton etc..tell me what can you cut?"

I did not want to answer that cos I thought he was getting too much but he insisted I answer him in what can I cut!

Ok by this time I was getting real annoyed..cos I was not keen for such a family and also the guy did not turn up and he did not look that great too from the pic....so it was already a No from me and I replied the grooms father "I can cut humans..I have preformed many autopsies"

He got a shock when I said that!LOL

He was too much yaar..the family knew I was veg when they approached us..if they didnt wants a veg DIL they should not come to see me..its not fair they come see me and expect me to become non veg.

So too bad..it was a No from me.

 

[renuka]

Oh...! And I forgot to appreciate Renuka for her good thinking on the 'seeing adult males' issue raised by this oxymoron groom's father!

I agree with Kama ji, Renu, bravo to you dear! :hug:

thanks JR.

 

[zebra16]

dear JR,

I remember one of the marriage proposals I got was from an accountant who sat like a mouse and his father did all the talking.

What is it **to sit like a mouse?** Some pictorial presentation would help !!

 

[krish44]

JR,
I think it is like one way traffic !! Only boy's side can ask questions and similar kind of questions, I wondered the girl's side can ask ??:noidea: !!!

What girls side would ask or would like to know
1.Whether the boy has bluffed about his salary[they might discereetly find out thru loaded questions]
2. Smoking ,drinking,partying habits
3. Academic credentials -whether truthful
4. whether would get out of country to US -could he be an enabler for daughters career goals abroad
5. whether the boy would be smart enough to get away from parents with girl to another city or country
6whether he is conventional or has a liberal mindset.
7. whether he is the temple going kind or extra religion and ritual minded .most modern girls shun these types
8. whether the boy has a vehicle -car, flat big enough.
9/.whether he knows cooking or help in the kitchen or settle utility bills and buy provisions. ie how much of a domestic help he can be
10. whether he can be persuaded to move to city where girls parents live and stay close to them . this is ambition of all working girls
11. Allgirls would like to talk on skype several times or date atleast once before saying yes

 

[zebra16]

Dear PJ sir,

There are some guys who are like mice when they are young but as they age especially when they cross 70 years of age they become angry birds!LOL

Only angry birds? Not aged lions or tigers?

 

[V.Balasubramani]

I would like to share a real experience of a relative groom of mine. This is real and not based on imagination.

The tradition of betrothal may be held with questions asked by grooms’ side as is being discussed. But in reality, in most cases, the post-betrothal scenario is quite different.

Once the girl is engaged, there is a commitment and the parents of girls grab the opportunity to corner the boy from day one andshall try to gain upper hand.

Now it is their turn, they will be asking all sorts of questions.

In my relative boy’s case, after the engagement, the girl telephoned and asked him to meet her at a hotel on an evening.

This boy who is from a conservative family was taken a back and agreed, failing to understand what is there to share so urgently before marriage.

He met her at the hotel and during the chatting session, the girl just laid out a list of demands that includes
1) She is the only daughter and needs to take of her parents through out
2) Her salary cannot be parted with and it is dedicated to their family
3) She has availed an housing loan and expects the boy to liquidate that
4) She wanted the boy to stay with her family after marriage which is far away to the office of the boy

Incidentally, the boy who is also the only son for his parent and who is supposed to take care of them , has agreed to all the conditions except the last one.

This boy asked that girl why do you differentiate your family and my family when we get married it is going to one family that is ours. She dissented. And the engagement broke.

He is married now and leading happy married life.

May be the groom side asks questions for convention sake just to break the ice, but the girls of now days have a demand list, really a lengthy list. lol

Their expectations are too much. It is fine to go for a grand dream and when it comes to reality one should learn to chew what one can.

Some girls of nowadays have developed attitude to ensure that their marriage is a 'jackpot'.

 

[krish44]

VB sirs post presents the real scenario in TB families these days.

For once I totally agree with him that it reflects the true scenario.

It is painful that girl set terms after engagement instead of before leading to broken engaements.

the issue of girls becoming economic entities specially in single child [girl] families, there is the issue of boys of having to economialy or otherwise support girls

parents.

the economic support can extend from paying off their marriage ,edu loans or housing loans of girls incurred by girls parents or help in medical treatment etc.

in more than 1 girl families , support might extend to helping in education and marriage of girls siblings.

money -girls income is the maximum cause of bitterness and break up of decent marriages

 

[renuka]

What is it **to sit like a mouse?** Some pictorial presentation would help !!

I can describe..

sitting down quietly only looking at the floor..the occasionally stealing glances and then never speaks a word...parents do all the talking.

You see a human should be bold enough to speak for himself or herself.

One of the reasons my husband married me is ..he said that all other girls he saw were shy or acting shy.


He said I was the only one who was not shy..spoke clearly and was expressive.


Frankly speaking shyness is one trait I do not have!LOL