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A Harvard psychologist says people judge you based on 2 criteria when they first meet

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prasad1

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Harvard social psychologist Amy Cuddy.

People size you up in seconds, but what exactly are they evaluating? Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions alongside fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick for more than 15 years, and has discovered patterns in these interactions.
In her new book, "Presence," Cuddy says people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:

  • Can I trust this person?
  • Can I respect this person?
Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence respectively, and ideally you want to be perceived as having both.
Interestingly, Cuddy says that most people, especially in a professional context, believe that competence is the more important factor. After all, they want to prove that they are smart and talented enough to handle your business.
But in fact warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate you. "From an evolutionary perspective," Cuddy says, "it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust." It makes sense when you consider that in cavemen days it was more important to figure out if your fellow man was going to kill you and steal all your possessions than if he was competent enough to build a good fire.

Cuddy's new book explores how to feel more confident.

While competence is highly valued, Cuddy says it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too much on displaying your strength can backfire.

Cuddy says MBA interns are often so concerned about coming across as smart and competent that it can lead them to skip social events, not ask for help, and generally come off as unapproachable.
These overachievers are in for a rude awakening when they don't get the job offer because nobody got to know and trust them as people.
"If someone you're trying to influence doesn't trust you, you're not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative," Cuddy says.
"A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you've established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat."

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/harvard-psychologist-says-people-judge-153500132.html
 
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Life revolves more on trust than education or other accomplishments.

I first trust totally anyone I employ and I can put up with lot of incompetence due to lack of education or skills.

As long as a person does not betray my trust badly , I do not part with him/her.

Minor cheating/dishonesty I overlook in case the person is poor.

Specially the poor, hunger can make them do many unacceptable acts.

One learns to overlook minor lapses on financial front like pocketing small change .

Poor do not cheat much . Thats why they are poor.lol
 
In order to gain trust act vulnerable or silly! This is another study shared in a book titled 'friend and foe'! You may have competence but you need to let the hair down and mingle with the group! This is possible by acting funny or cracking a joke!
 
It is very difficult to identify the real cheats / fraudsters, in the first meeting itself.

They shall be most cunning and hypocrites and initially are capable of covering their real “personalities / intentions”.

Only after gaining confidence and creating of an impression in the mind of their “targets “, they shall show their real colours.
 
The above post appears filmy.

All, are made up of some good and a few bad qualities .

Even those most would consider not so good can surprise with good acts.

If any act gullible , they deserve to be cheated.
 
Its actually hard to size up a person right away.

Frankly speaking...I do not 100% trust anyone including myself sometimes!LOL

Really...can we really trust anyone or even ourselves a good 100%?

Not possible..so instead of trying to imagine we can trust anyone or ourselves its better just to deal with anyone carefully and have a back up plan just in case the relationship sours.

Coming to respecting anyone.

What exactly is respect?

Hard to define.
 
One does not need to look at others with coloured lenses fearing all the time when he is going to give you unwanted attention.

Most women are uptight all the time imagining men like animals can pounce on them anytime.

That makes them extra careful.

If one reaches out even the not so good men can be nice and decent and one can be comfortable and enjoy their company.

One does not think negatively that relationship might sour one day and act with reserve and extra caution.

Of course more one lets go more one enjoys company of other sex.

One can hold in esteem anyone even if his actions do not qualify by ones rigid standards.

He might work to satisfy your concept of him as an esteemed person if he desires your company
 
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One does not need to look at others with coloured lenses fearing all the time when he is going to give you unwanted attention.

Most women are uptight all the time imagining men like animals can pounce on them anytime.

That makes them extra careful.

If one reaches out even the not so good men can be nice and decent and one can be comfortable and enjoy their company.

One does not think negatively that relationship might sour one day and act with reserve and extra caution.

Of course more one lets go more one enjoys company of other sex.

One can hold in esteem anyone even if his actions do not qualify by ones rigid standards.

He might work to satisfy your concept of him as an esteemed person if he desires your company

The uptight females are those who are not confident of handling themselves well..so they fear each and every male cos they fear falling the males!LOL

If one is smart in handling extra attention..one can be the passive Dominatrix without others not knowing what even hit them!LOL


Dear Krish ji....these days its hard to trust anyone..so its better to thread with caution.

Its important that no one knows too much about anyone cos friends today..foes tomorrow and some are just our frenemies.

Sometimes relatives are the worst enemies in disguise.

Keep enemies close but relatives closer.
 
The uptight females are those who are not confident of handling themselves well..so they fear each and every male cos they fear falling the males!LOL

If one is smart in handling extra attention..one can be the passive Dominatrix without others not knowing what even hit them!LOL


Dear Krish ji....these days its hard to trust anyone..so its better to thread with caution.

Its important that no one knows too much about anyone cos friends today..foes tomorrow and some are just our frenemies.

Sometimes relatives are the worst enemies in disguise.

Keep enemies close but relatives closer.
If one has a choice between relatives and friends choose friends.

If it is friends and strangers , stranger might be a better bet.

Did you see 'Tamasha' the way ranbir and deepika bonded as strangers hiding their identities?

By the way do not take this post seriously. Only joking.lol
 
If one has a choice between relatives and friends choose friends.

If it is friends and strangers , stranger might be a better bet.

Did you see 'Tamasha' the way ranbir and deepika bonded as strangers hiding their identities?

By the way do not take this post seriously. Only joking.lol


I have not seen Tamasha yet...these days I am too busy seeing NCIS season 13,CSI cyber etc.

I like crime and detective stories.
 
All women -specially married ones like to remain close to their relatives.

They think they will help fight the invisible enemy[read men with killing looks]

These women are afraid of themselves more than the men.

The fear is they might end up liking the man instead of hating.

How interesting are women?
 
If one has a choice between relatives and friends choose friends.

If it is friends and strangers , stranger might be a better bet.

Did you see 'Tamasha' the way ranbir and deepika bonded as strangers hiding their identities?

By the way do not take this post seriously. Only joking.lol

The above post appears to be most filmy and tamasha.
 
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