Sangom,
You are absolutely correct in that better grooming, body building and team spirted developed through contact sports, are not expensive at all. They need a mindset determination, to pursue, and the rewards are a lifetime of confidence and self assuredness. It is sad to read here, among posts, a (lame) excuse, that tambram boys will feed their brains, and hence have to suffer the consequences of bullying and such. Nothing so far from the truth. The more you develop your body side by side with the brain, the better wholesome the individual becomes.
Re girls? if yaanais had ruled once upon a time, today it is the time for the poonais I guess. Thanks to small families, girls only families, enlightened views of women’s education and opportunites, plentiful high paying jobs suitable for women thanks to their temperament (patience, diligence, due diligence, persistence, hard work, commitment work ethic etc etc.), today in many areas, women are more suitable and more sought after than men. Infact, the very values that have been inculcated in them through generations, and thanks to strong racial memories, today’s girls have the benefit of blending their natural instincts to the requirements of today’s work place. A field like IT, where I am involved, the girl is more suitable for many tasks, which do not require inspiration, but more of methodical meticulousness. It involves patience and forebearance, qualities naturally bestowed to motherhood and subservient wifehood. Ie yesterday’s ‘weakness’ becomes today’s strength.
In the yesteryears, my father, had to marry off 5 nieces, due to family circumstances. With no money, and just by his wit. I am only aware of the humiliations that he had to face. With that still fresh, I enjoy the current satisfaction with today’s girls’ parents have – ie the comfort of subsidizies from their daughters for a comfortable living, promise to being taken care in old age, a ‘demand’ based marriage market for their daughters and above all, hardly any difference in rewards from raising a daughter differing from that of a son. Justice meted out. At last.
For the girls, especially in arranged marriages, I would rather NOT see – demand for equal or better job and salary. It is a fact that many girls are very high achievers, and do exceedingly well. Mathematically it is impossible to find guys who are better off jobwise than the girl – especially taking into consideration, other restrictions like geography and place of work. Next, is age difference – I think girls in their late 20s or early 30s, must be willing to accept boys younger than them. again I am looking at distribution and availability here.
Girls should demand that marriage expenses be borne 50/50. it is the right thing to do. though if the boys are well off , nothing to prevent the boys’s side footing 100% of the bill.
Today’s young tambram wife, needs to educate her new husband, the way, his mother failed to do. ie house husbandry. One needs to list down all the activities in maintaining a home, and divide the labour fairly and equally, so that a house becomes a home, not on the back of the female’s sweat, but by equally loving divison of labour. Ie a true partnership. This, I think, is possible, only if the couple start the life alone, in thani kudhitham. Otherwise, I think, the girl gets the shaft. that is still a sad fact of life, if the mamiyar rules the brood, and looks upon any dirtying of the son's hands as cardinal sin
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