adoption of brahmin boy or girl child

[Hemanth]

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Dear Sir, Your act is very noble.Instead of adopting a orphanage, it is better to adopt a very poor brahmins child of course the child being a father /mother less child.so that for practical and religious purpose thai is the gene of the child will be of abrahmin.This will be acceptable by sasthras to ensure that your forefathers will also get their pindas.
for this you can visit kanchimutt or sringeri mut and pray the acharyals to arrange one
s.gopalaswamy

neither are these places having any such procedures of late since 2005. i think all this happened because of some quacks who did some adoption scam and child trafficking. To hell with such people, because of whom , I am unable to realise my dream !!

 

[kunjuppu]

kunjuppu,

good that you people are sharing views here. we want to adopt out of affection towards the orphan child and willingness to give a bright future to the child rather than think of our last rites - dont believe in it and we are young to think about it !! touch wood !!

yes in our endevour to find such a child we have found many failures. Also we keep hearing bad experiences more often than not.

Anyways thanks for giving us a positive side too !! -- This is a boost for us, not to lose hope !!

hemanth,

thank you for your appreciative words.

in my view, a child is a child is a child. it is us who give it the coloration of religion, caste, creed etc.

i earnestly recommend you, to be very careful, take an orphan not more than a month old at the most. while it is very noble to adopt a handicap child, those need more care, and need special type of parents. so if possible have the child examined for good health and positive growth.

shower all the love and affection, and make it very clear to your near and dear, that this is your child and should be treated as one's own blood. once they take the cue from you, particularly your two parents, the society will fall in.

nobody talks about success. you want to be a success. only failures have enough stories to wag the tongues.

i would go to a honest orphanage and there are still quite a lot of them. maybe it is best to go out of chennai - kerala or karnataka. again, i would any day prefer a female over a male. the mother daughter bonding is very important, is the strongest bond between two humans, and your wife will thank you for this, for a very long time.

in my opinion, more crimes have been committed against the brahmin community by our people. i can write a book. do not trust the mutts or the religious heads. in my opinion every one of them is biased and tainted. i wonder if those who advocate mutts here would do the same, if they hear of the blasphemy that went in some of those 'temples'.

adopt a baby girl, and give her the values that you would like your child to have. enjoy every minute of it, for children grow too fast.

God Bless you and your missus.

 

[kunjuppu]

neither are these places having any such procedures of late since 2005. i think all this happened because of some quacks who did some adoption scam and child trafficking. To hell with such people, because of whom , I am unable to realise my dream !!

hemanth, it was a scam all along. with the blessings of many in high positions in the mutt. caveat emptor. buyer beware.

 

[sangom]

Shri Hemanth,

Permit me to say that your idea of a child which is "brahman by birth" sounds anachronistic today. No brahman couple - even the very poorest - will like to handover their child just like that; they will continue to pester you throughout your life, confuse the child with split loyalties and may even blackmail you if they so feel like. Many tabra couples have adopted from well-run orphanages and their adopted children are real brahman girls or boys for the world. No after-effects will be there in such cases.

I thought of writing this for your benefit and continued welfare. You are, of course, fully entitled to follow your way.

 

[kunjuppu]

sangom,

from another recently opened thread, hemanth and another person gayee_g appear bent on brahmin birth.

too 1 or 2 year old. i have suggested, based on experiences from several people, that it is best to take the baby a few days old. only for the reason of bonding, and going through the experience of bringing up a new born one. these are priceless life's experiences.

to me atleast, to put conditions like caste, especially food habits in the name of 'fairness', the higher the age group, etc. appears to be unwanted burdens assumed for the sake of brahminism. so be it. best wishes to hemanth and gayee_g.

i can only, once more, request them to heed to experiences of others and learn from it, so as to avoid the same mistakes. nothing worse than heartbreaks due to failed adoption. i guess caste is that much seeped in our psyche. sad.

 

[Raghy]

Sri.Hemanth Sir,

Greetings. Your desire to adopt a child is a noble one. It is a win-win situation. Personally, I don't know about adopting a 'brahmin child'. For me, a child is child. You may like to contact Dr.Sunitha Krishanan.

More about Dr.Sunitha Krishnan, .... Sunitha Krishnan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

About Prajwala .... Prajwala - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

**PRAJWALA INDIA**

If i were you, I won't be too concerned about 'vegetarian baby' etc. I grew up a strict vegetarian, no garlic, no onion, no muranga bean (Drumstick), no noolkol, no turnip..... later on in life, I tried everything.

Cheers!

 

[Hemanth]

Raghy,
this site is basically for protection of girls from human trafficking. i very much doubt if they have adoption facilities.

anyways thanks for the lead.

Kunjuppu, sangom and rest all ---

i think its all in our opinion and perspective why we want to a brahmin child - nothing to do with fair skin, higher caste and blah blah as most of them have misunderstood.

 

[sangom]

Kunjuppu, sangom and rest all ---

i think its all in our opinion and perspective why we want to a brahmin child - nothing to do with fair skin, higher caste and blah blah as most of them have misunderstood.

Shri Hemanth,

It would have been better to avoid the highlighted portion. That would have helped in my continuing good will for your efforts; but these words have spoiled it because it looks like sincere suggestions have been simply rebuffed with utter contempt. (Not that my good wishes do matter to you.)

 

[kunjuppu]

hemanth,

i second sangom's sentiments and disappointed at your reply.

no where was 'fair skin' mentioned. you had brought up the issue of being fair to the child, that adopting a non veg whose genes might have inbuilt taste for non veg. i just denied that. atleast that is the way i understood your logic.

re fairness of skin, it is upto you to adopt what you want. no matter what, adoption is a blessed and sacred event. i wish you well.

 

[Hemanth]

Shri Hemanth,

It would have been better to avoid the highlighted portion. That would have helped in my continuing good will for your efforts; but these words have spoiled it because it looks like sincere suggestions have been simply rebuffed with utter contempt. (Not that my good wishes do matter to you.)

FYI,
I have not got any single genuine lead from this site inspite of being very courteous and appreciating valid pointers....

All I read is sermons again and again about not looking for brahmin child.... You urself can check the replies to this thread and decide...

There has been so much against brahmin adoption that even a person who genuinely wants to help will be backed off for the fear of rebuttal, insults in the name of old fashioned thinking and never ending discussions (me and many others like me are quite busy to keep arguing again and again with people who seem to have lot of time for tarkam - this is what I call blah blah) --- and surely they will not backed off because of my words. Those who are looking for genuine answers and not all these long winding discussions will understand what i have written

 

[gopalaswamy]

All children are born as Nan Brahmin only but by samskara he becomes a brahmin.Here Mr Hemanth is not interested inAdopting a child from Ashram. He is specific so that the traits of the child as he grow up will be to the quality of thegene of the real parents. that is why I sujested to Sri Hemanth ,to full fill his desire , to sadopt a child from a known poor brahminfamily whose parents are not alive and his relatives being poor is unable to bring them up. This will serve 2 purpose one Mr Hemanth will get a child Two.It is help to a "orphan brahmin child and to the relatives of the child.
My father himself was a adopted cild to a Sagothra distant relative as those days adoption was maily to continue the progeny of that vamsa

 

[kunjuppu]

gopalaswamy,

it takes a lot of care and courage to write here on this topic. easier it is, to pass. after all, who cares whether hemanth adopts. or whom he adopts.

sangom, took the initiative, and the care to share his 75+ years of experience. after all, all that he was saying, is 'do not repeat the mistakes of others'. hemanth is free to make his errors, but sangom felt sufficiently caring and concerned, as a fellow member of this forum, to caution.

that is all, he did. that he said what hemanth or you did not want to hear is another issue. that no one mentioned sweet words to your liking here, is another issue.. but, if i were you, i would sit up and start thinking. and start thinking too seriously.

wake up sirs. we are not out here to preach or make money. the path that you wish to tread has been tread in the past. what happens currently, is different from gopalaswamy's father's times. and who knows the politics then? but we know what happens now from first hand experience, if you adopt someone without caution or stepping through scenarios as what sangom said. the last thing you want is a heartbreak 15 years from now. right?

'learning through the experience of others', it is said, the next best teacher, to 'experiencing yourself'.

it is upto you to make choices. but do not question our sincerety or bona fides. we have no axe grind.

thank you. God Bless you in your noble endeavour. i will include sangom here, in wishing not only success in finding your eagerly wanted ward, and also fulfilment for yourself, your spouse and above all for the little one.

 

[Nara]

Boy "or girl child" is better than only a boy child, I suppose. But what is all this talk about brahmin gene -- a scientific flavor to bigotry? Brahmin, brahmin, brahmin, when will you see humanity for just humanity, no more, no less. Of course you have the right to do what you please, but what you please, let it be pleasing as well.

 

[kunjuppu]

nara,

i hate to corner myself, without giving these an honourable way out.

but hitler would be proud of the genetic theory of these tambrams like gopalaswamy. the sad fact is i meet many of these in toronto.

the only redeeming feature, is 100% uniformly, their progeny reject it. 'dad's crazy is the kindest word'.

i have hope for the future.

every tambram, and i mean every tambram youth in the 20s i know, who has come from chennai, is uniformly against reservation with a built in feeling of entitlement deprived. all in the name of 'fairness'.

i had a very in-depth chat with one, last night - a very well beloved nephew. i love him, and i hope, comparing how much his hopes are in the usa, and how much he felt these are achievable .......... and pointing out that the dalit in the tamil nadu village, for him or her, these are not even but dreams.

..........................................?????????????????

i have come to realize, 100%, that the usa breeds the worst in tambrams - not one have i seen with empathy for either the minorities there, or for the shudras and panchamas back in bharat. 'if I can do it, why can't they?'

QED

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Hemanth,

We have been discussing the pros and cons of adaption from poor Brahmin family and recognized orphanage. The only way you can ensure that the child is a Brahmin is to follow the course suggested by Gopalaswamy and some others. I have pointed out the problems with such an adoption in my earlier post. Posts #19, 20, 21 and 22.

Now the decision is yours to make.

I am not able to understand why you want to drag these discussions.

It is not the duty of the members of this forum to provide solutions to your problem. We can only suggest alternatives.

Please do not attribute motives to senior members like Sangom and Kunjuppu who were only trying to help you.

Please do not go around asking for everybody's opinion. This only increases the confusion with so many different view points.

Wish you the Best in finding a Brahmin child to adopt.

Please request the administrators to close the thread.

 

[KRS]

Dear Sri Kunjuppu Ji,

What do you mean by this?:


but hitler would be proud of the genetic theory of these tambrams like gopalaswamy. the sad fact is i meet many of these in toronto.


Regards,
KRS

 

[gopalaswamy]

Hemanth,

We have been discussing the pros and cons of adaption from poor Brahmin family and recognized orphanage. The only way you can ensure that the child is a Brahmin is to follow the course suggested by Gopalaswamy and some others. I have pointed out the problems with such an adoption in my earlier post. Posts #19, 20, 21 and 22.

Now the decision is yours to make.

I am not able to understand why you want to drag these discussions.

It is not the duty of the members of this forum to provide solutions to your problem. We can only suggest alternatives.

Please do not attribute motives to senior members like Sangom and Kunjuppu who were only trying to help you.

Please do not go around asking for everybody's opinion. This only increases the confusion with so many different view points.

Wish you the Best in finding a Brahmin child to adopt.

Please request the administrators to close the thread.

Dear Sir,
I am not finding a solution for Mr Hemanths Desire. I have given my suggestion. Because some people/members get the the title as senior member , they have no right call me as tombran or any such thing. Let Moderator say and decide to close this but let him put his comments on the writeup of some people giving some names to people because they differ from the so called senior member. Being aged 76 the hurt When I receive is making me to consider unsubscribing from the forum. let the moderator decide

 

[sangom]

Kunjuppu, Nara, Nacchinarkkiniyan,

Thank you all for your support. I feel now, after all these posts, that Shri Hemanth might have thought that just like finding a bride/groom (for which some people post here) he would be able to get clear leads to a few "brahman" boys available for adoption in the circumstances detailed by him. Well he may be having children already yet, like some couples in the west, he may be sincerely trying to help a fellow brahmin child to come up in life.

We (at least I) probably overlooked such a possibility and imagined what would be most suitable for a childless couple to do and gave our - my - (uncalled for) advice instead of the contact address/es for brahman boys available for adoption.

The mistake then was mine, I accept, but I still feel Shri Hemanth could have been a bit more kind towards us and could have avoided the "blah blah". Well, we all learn from mistakes.

 

[Hemanth]

Dear Sir,
Because some people/members get the the title as senior member , they have no right call me as tombran or any such thing. Let Moderator say and decide to close this but let him put his comments on the writeup of some people giving some names to people because they differ from the so called senior member. Being aged 76 the hurt When I receive is making me to consider unsubscribing from the forum. let the moderator decide

i fully agree with what gopalaswamy has said. I feel sad that having joined this TamilBRAHMINS thread, i would get some good help, instead all i am getting is sermons and worst is someone mentioning to close the thread - what is the need for it ??

Just like so many other threads there were discussions and some were thinking that they can go and on and on with discussion and at that place, I made it very clear that I am not looking for sermons and only genuine help that's it. I am busy to keep retorting to each and every one's reply here and so have my intention clear in this one reply.

Even i feel hurt like gopalaswamy the way disussions are going on here.

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear Sri Kunjuppu Ji,

What do you mean by this?:


but hitler would be proud of the genetic theory of these tambrams like gopalaswamy. the sad fact is i meet many of these in toronto.


Regards,
KRS

KRS,

here is the quote from gopalaswamy.

He is specific so that the traits of the child as he grow up will be to the quality of thegene of the real parents. that is why I sujested to Sri Hemanth ,to full fill his desire , to sadopt a child from a known poor brahminfamily whose parents are not alive and his relatives being poor is unable to bring them up. This will serve 2 purpose one Mr Hemanth will get a child Two.It is help to a "orphan brahmin child and to the relatives of the child.
My father himself was a adopted cild to a Sagothra distant relative as those days adoption was maily to continue the progeny of that vamsa

the way i read it is, there is an implication that the brahmin gene is in someway superior to the (unsaid) NB gene. the concept of vamsa vriksha, iepurity of the blood and the lineage, would somehow be 'corrupted' by the inclusion of an NB gene in the tambram gene pool.

atleast that is the way i read it. i have seen in ever so many posts in the past here, implications along the same lines, of racial purity, which i have felt all along is pure bunkum outputs and conclusions of a pseudo science.

ofcourse i am just following Godwin's law here, which has been previously noted by prof nara. for the non initiated here is an excerpt of what it just means

Godwin's law (also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies or Godwin's Law of Nazi Analogies)[1][2] is a humorous observation made by Mike Godwin in 1990[2] which has become an Internet adage. It states: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."[3][2] In other words, Godwin put forth the hyperbolic observation that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope— someone inevitably criticizes some point made in the discussion by comparing it to beliefs held by Hitler and the Nazis.

Godwin's law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

hopefully this explains. if you need further clarifications, please let me know. thank you.

 

[Hemanth]

We (at least I) probably overlooked such a possibility and imagined what would be most suitable for a childless couple to do and gave our - my - (uncalled for) advice instead of the contact address/es for brahman boys available for adoption.

The mistake then was mine, I accept, but I still feel Shri Hemanth could have been a bit more kind towards us and could have avoided the "blah blah". Well, we all learn from mistakes.

Thanks Sangom for understanding !!
Yes we already have a biological child and we are wanting to help out another child by way of adoption

 

[kunjuppu]

i fully agree with what gopalaswamy has said. I feel sad that having joined this TamilBRAHMINS thread, i would get some good help, instead all i am getting is sermons and worst is someone mentioning to close the thread - what is the need for it ??

Just like so many other threads there were discussions and some were thinking that they can go and on and on with discussion and at that place, I made it very clear that I am not looking for sermons and only genuine help that's it. I am busy to keep retorting to each and every one's reply here and so have my intention clear in this one reply.

Even i feel hurt like gopalaswamy the way disussions are going on here.

hemanth, please accept my unconditional apologies. i am very sorry for hurting your feelings.

 

[kunjuppu]

KRS,

further to my earlier reply to your query..........

In the light of hemanth’s wounded feelings and probably gopalaswamy’s too: I am perforced to dwell a wee bit more here, more for my own clarification and (peace of) mind.

First and foremost, there is nothing wrong in insisting on adopting a child from Brahmin parents alone, and only Brahmin child. It is a personal decision and all personal decisions should be respected.

After all, I am openly a member of Kerala Iyers Trust, whose focus is solely towards assistance to tambrams, kerala or elsewhere in india. i would shrug off anyone questioning the narrow objective of my charitable instincts. it is my money and i can do what i want to do with it. right?

Again, it does not matter, whether the said adoption is based on charity towards our community or even ‘purity of blood’. our causes and reasons are ours own to cherish, as long as it deos the next person no harm.

With this as the baseline, I would like to clarify, that myself (& I feel free to include sangom here) focus is on the cautions that need to be taken during any adoption. We did not provide an answer or address to hemanth’s query, but out of our experience, threw in some arguments re need to vigilance.

I wish that hemanth (& gopalaswamy) had asked for clarification, just like the way you did.

But all this is water under the bridge.

At no time, I intended to comment on the choice of what caste or creed the baby should be. The presence of parents, could be an issue, regardless of caste.

Birth parents have their own complexities generated through giving away a baby, and the need to keep track and at some point deal with the guilt of sacrificing what I would call ‘the most blessed gift’ that one could possess. where such parents are known to have willingly given up the baby, the adopters must be aware of possible consequences and be prepared for it.

the world sometimes, has strange ways of expressing 'gratitude'. we adopt a baby and bring it up with a lot of love, only to find that the blood parents coming back to claim their 'pound of flesh'. any discordance here will only confuse the adopted child and bring him/her more into conflict of loyalties.

in no way the natural parents' current behaviour is an indication of what they will do in the future. they can even go to court, and claim the baby back successfully. the only way to avoid such issues is to adopt anonymously preferably to a child set for adoption, many times due to a mistake on the part of the mother.

the hurt experienced at the later date, is more severe and debilitating than can be currently imagined. i have such experiences in my family. the natural family is well taken care of by the adopted son, who managed to get the wealth transferred to him, and the adopter father is living in kalady in a old age home. the adopter mother, mercifully is no more on this earth to experience this agony.

what was sad in this instance was, the natural parents were secretly in touch with their son all along, and managed to keep this contact info away from my relatives who adopted this poor brahmin boy, thinking of the punyam they will get and a vaarisu to light the fire on their demise. the husband lit the wife's pyre. i think the old age home manager will end up lighting the fire for the father, who is now in his 80s.

Thank you.

 

[KRS]

Dear Sri Hemant Ji and Sri Gopalswamy Ji,

As you can see from the above posts by Sri Kunjuppu Ji, he has explained (I think adequately) what he said. In my opinion, perhaps, it could have been expressed better the first time.

There is no need to close this thread. Please feel free to continue participating - some times, we all use words here that cause unintentional hurt. Please go ahead and express your hurt as you have done above - that way, the person posting the hurt words can react, like Sri Kunjuppu Ji did above.

The Moderators are also on the look out for such situations, as you may have seen from my query to Sri Kunjuppu Ji.

Regards,
KRS

 

[gopalaswamy]

Dear KRS , He may be meaning the members of this group are like Hitler. he forgot that he claims to be Brahman . may be without his nithya karma eating non veg,, drinking etc. if such person marry ,his progeny will loose it Brahman hood. When you cycle and stop pedaling the cycle will travel safe for some more distance and then if you don't pedal you will fall down and if you pedal at least at the last moment then some how without falling you will be able to go further. Mahaperiaval has said that if our ancestors has to get their pindas basically, the trait folowing the sasthras must be in the gene of the progeny and also you can call yourself and your progeny as Brahmans. If you adopt an unknown kula/gothra child ,be sue that as we some of the present persons calling them self as Brahmans and join this forum , this forum will not be a Brahman forum but may be Hindu forum
s.