Age difference for best married life

[mkrishna100]

Share:

Facebook X (Twitter) LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Share Link

How come I C / I R weddings entered THIS thread??

It will keep appearing in many threads as IC/IR Weddings are a reality which every TB family must face however much they may like or dislike them .

 

[Raji Ram]

Very true, Krishna!

or ???

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

That is வைத்தால் குடுமி, சிரைச்சால் மொட்டை logic. Not mine.(#45)

குடுமி is self generated & mandated unique ID It should be flaunted when needed​ I hold it tight in my hand ( imagine) the குடுமிs.of youngsters and when.that slips.away.I have one uploaded on my scalp - never my unique ID is.lost - சிரச்சா மாெட்டை - will never do that - It is my Aadhar!

 

[krish44]

That is வைத்தால் குடுமி, சிரைச்சால் மொட்டை logic. Not mine.(#45)

குடுமி is self generated & mandated unique ID It should be flaunted when needed​ I hold it tight in my hand ( imagine) the குடுமிs.of youngsters and when.that slips.away.I have one uploaded on my scalp - never my unique ID is.lost - சிரச்சா மாெட்டை - will never do that - It is my Aadhar!

JJ ji

Do you control sons thru DILs?

You must be enjoying that.

They are doing what you would not do with them.

Who holds kudumi?You or is it indirect thru DIL?

 

[Vaagmi]

Vaagmiji

Ref point1 above, time is on the side of younger generation. When one grows old, you might need them more than their needing you.In two cases I know, it is the IC next generation which looked after the parent who disowned them in last years of the parent.Your ego might be hurt that they made their own decision to marry not abiding your advice without your approval.One can forget and forgive.One NB son in law even performed the last rites of brahmiin father in law besides looking after him in his last days while his own son conventionally married refused to attend to him .

Krishji,

We differ vastly as two individuals with different value systems perhaps.

I believe self help is the best help while strongly inclined to help anyone who is in need of my help. Simply put I will help others without holding back anything if God puts me in such a situation. but I will stay independent at all cost until I leave this world and pray to God to help me in making that possible. I take care of my health for this reason. Even if I get angry it is always deleberate for a purpose. It will never be losing control to anger. I have the confidence that I can live this way and it is based on my present situation in life and my abilities to face uncertainties if they were to come.

So I won't be dependent on youngsters even at my old age as I have worked hard to make enough money that will see me and my dependents through this life peacefully. I may be of help to those youngsters rather. LOL.

I know there are people who compromise for a painless or dependent life in old age. But that is not my cup of tea.

This NB son in law frequently coming in in your narrative is because of your giving in easily to circumstances. Fight man. You will win. Giving in is the easiest thing to do. But you become a pathetic specimen when you do that.

if a youngster decides to marry outside the community, my ego will not be hurt. I may become sad and that is the end of it. When you lose a unique and valuable heirloom carelessly, you feel sad. You feel sad for two reasons 1. the heirloom is unique and priceless and you have lost it because of your ignorance and carelessness. 2. you have failed miserably in your duty to preserve and hand over the heirloom to the next generation in your family. And my advising the youngster to keep away from me is my way of expressing my controlled anger. And the purpose for that anger is obvious.

So your good NB son in law deserves just a well done from me and nothing more. I wont make him an example for following by others in the family. OMG!! when did being good and doing the right thing become a olympic feat to be flashed around with pride?

2.. you might believe that your advice based on years of experience is a better one. But the next generation has its own reasons for making their choices.

I advise and leave. The rest is karma phalan. I do not care.

Your stand is ambivalent both no and yes.ie They can come and go . But you will not transact with them. This is not the rational thing to do IMHO.

I am unable to agree with your assessment.

I know more than one senior who has suffered immensely sticking rigidly to his point of view punishing himself and the the erring/defying couple of next generation. In both cases after years , senior parent was looked after by the couple who got disowned.

Each individual lives a unique life in unique circumstances in this world. Perceptions too differ. Period.

 

[mkrishna100]

Each individual lives a unique life in unique circumstances in this world. Perceptions too differ. Period.

That's it .

 

[tbs]

hi

i know one NB gal loving a TB boy nine years younger than gal.....the gal is 9 yrs older than boy....both enjoyed well...

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

This NB son in law frequently coming in in your narrative is because of your giving in easily to circumstances. Fight man. You will win. Giving in is the easiest thing to do. But you become a pathetic specimen when you do that.(#55)

Don't be pathetic - become pugilitic !

It is a fight over Aadhar or குடுமி - naturally it will be குடுமி பிச்சுகர சண்டை!

 

[Raji Ram]

....... i know one NB gal loving a TB boy nine years younger than gal.....the gal is 9 yrs older than boy......

Do you think members are so dumb?? :crazy:

We DO understand ''a TB boy nine years younger than gal'' = ''the gal is 9 yrs older than boy''!

 

[krish44]

Post #55 and #58

The person is not my son in law.

However two parents are my relatives thru marriage.

One Parent at the age of 89 years [ more than twenty years of daughters marriage to a NB] was forced to accept his NB Son in law.He looked after him for one year

until his passing away.

Another younger in early eighties had nowhere to go and NB son in law took care of him and performed his last rites also.

Both were die hard brahmins and refused to accept for couple of decades and more until almost the last year before passing away.

I could not imagine that biases could run so deep on account of caste.

I was a mute spectator and nothing more.

My suggestion to one parent to not take it to such limits were brushed aside like vaagmiji.

I felt that both parents and son in laws were equally not correct. They hurt each other for a lifetime over caste.

 

[krish44]

This NB son in law frequently coming in in your narrative is because of your giving in easily to circumstances. Fight man. You will win. Giving in is the easiest thing to do. But you become a pathetic specimen when you do that.(#55)

Don't be pathetic - become pugilitic !

It is a fight over Aadhar or குடுமி - naturally it will be குடுமி பிச்சுகர சண்டை!

It is a matter of opinion who becomes the pathetic specimen.

Thee person who accepts and lives without caste biases with human values or one with steadfast adherance to caste to the extent undergoing all sufferings and

ultimately being forced to yield at the fag end of life.

In life it is a matter of choices.

Whether one maturely compromises with minimal pain or undergo lifelong suffering ultimately to yield.

 

[renuka]

Holding on to anything too rigidly forms a Karmic debt which one would face again in another life.

We might hang around life believing what we hold on to is something that can never be given up.

Its not about not adhering but its about adhering yet not being attached.

Finally the body which comes with a name and form is given up and it perishes only to take another body later which we might not even know would belong to which community or religion or even human or not.

So best is just do our duty..there is no need to disown anyone or anything for what do we really own finally?

 

[krish44]

A philosophical post from renukaji

What I have been trying to do is more pragmatic.

I am ensuring that children of these one brahmin parent marriages is get them married to boys/girls who have brahmin parents

Over time, their children will end up as full brahmins again.{ at least 75% brahmin lol}

we have succeeded in one case.

There are a couple more.

I love challenges like this.

It keeps me going.

 

[renuka]

I cant wait for the day humans marry aliens from other planets..then we can have IP marriage..inter planet marriage.

 

[krish44]

Who knows even aliens might also have a caste system. similar to ours.

When Bali hindus have a caste system why not aliens?

 

[krish44]

This tendency to reject caste polluters runs deep in blood for many.

How much indoctrination must have gone on over centuries to evolve and sustain this ?

Even in 21st century , we hang on to this firmly inspite of western education , being ruled over by british , mughals among others over centuries.

Even when one gets converted to another religion , his caste also goes to that religion.

 

[Vaagmi]

1) This tendency to reject caste polluters runs deep in blood for many.
How much indoctrination must have gone on over centuries to evolve and sustain this ?

2) Even in 21st century , we hang on to this firmly inspite of western education , being ruled over by british , mughals among others over centuries.

3) Even when one gets converted to another religion , his caste also goes to that religion.

How shallow can one get!!

1) Caste pollution is not a polution in the political sense in which it is brandeied about because of the effect of that evil influence by bigriver. It is retaining and improving on the assets gained over centuries for the sake of and for the welfare of society. Bigriver , his blind followers and others indoctrinated by his hatred opiate may not agree with this. But this is the fact.

In the same breath may I ask you a question? Will you go about kissing everyone on the street to prove that you have no tendency to reject any poluters? The crowd may include a few lepers too.

Now please do not turn around and tell me that I am calling every NB a leper. I am sure you are not that low in your wits.

It is my turn to wonder loudly how much of indoctrination you have been subjected to to hold on to this illogical position like a mule.

2) As if Western Education is a cure all medicine. And British and Mughals were great dynasties with great enlightenment ever to exist in the world. They spoilt our superior education system and injected poison in the society in the name of caste. And we have people like you who remain ever faithful to these alien master. Slave mentality.

3) So where goes your enlightened masters British and Mughals who are unable to get rid of this from amongst their herds of sheep?

Dear Krish, You can be ever thankful for your luck in getting good education. But do not give credit to the wrong factors that you think facilitated your achievement. Think about it. You need to come out of your shackles of indoctrination.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

What I have been trying to do is more pragmatic.

I am ensuring that children of these one brahmin parent marriages is get them married to boys/girls who have brahmin parents

Over time, their children will end up as full brahmins again.{ at least 75% brahmin lol}

we have succeeded in one case.

There are a couple more.

I love challenges like this.

It keeps me going.

Gold extracted from ore dust by Amalgamation! Your efforts to produce 75 percent pure Brahmin by Amalgamation with one successful experiment is appreciated . More trials are welcome! Get going to prop up dwindling TBs!

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Will you go about kissing everyone on the street to prove that you have no tendency to reject any poluters? The crowd may include a few lepers too.

Now please do not turn around and tell me that I am calling every NB a leper. I am sure you are not that low in your wits(#67)

Can a TB leper go about kissing ever one the street? Please don't turn around and tell me there are no Brahmin lepers

 

[Vaagmi]

Can a TB leper go about kissing ever one the street? Please don't turn around and tell me there are no Brahmin lepers

Could someone help with a bhashyam. I do not understand what is said here. This JJ sutra is a mystery I do not understand.

 

[krish44]

How shallow can one get!!

1) Caste pollution is not a polution in the political sense in which it is brandeied about because of the effect of that evil influence by bigriver. It is retaining and improving on the assets gained over centuries for the sake of and for the welfare of society. Bigriver , his blind followers and others indoctrinated by his hatred opiate may not agree with this. But this is the fact.

In the same breath may I ask you a question? Will you go about kissing everyone on the street to prove that you have no tendency to reject any poluters? The crowd may include a few lepers too.

Now please do not turn around and tell me that I am calling every NB a leper. I am sure you are not that low in your wits.

It is my turn to wonder loudly how much of indoctrination you have been subjected to to hold on to this illogical position like a mule.

2) As if Western Education is a cure all medicine. And British and Mughals were great dynasties with great enlightenment ever to exist in the world. They spoilt our superior education system and injected poison in the society in the name of caste. And we have people like you who remain ever faithful to these alien master. Slave mentality.

3) So where goes your enlightened masters British and Mughals who are unable to get rid of this from amongst their herds of sheep?

Dear Krish, You can be ever thankful for your luck in getting good education. But do not give credit to the wrong factors that you think facilitated your achievement. Think about it. You need to come out of your shackles of indoctrination.

In this age, everyone looks for an elitist as per his perception Towards whom anger can be channelised.

Tamil Brahmins whose privileges have been scuttled by dravidian movement,reservation policy, hindi imposition from a central power are looking for targets for directing their anger

Well When I say ,I am secular, enjoy the good life of elitist class and an urban consumerist besides being liberal then I become a fit candidate for directing anger.

A brahmin refusing to agree that he is being discriminated as he has escaped the dravidian anger , also freely mixes with all class of people poor, other castes and

religion, the fury can only increase.

In this age of discontent everyone is looking for someone to direct their anger because of inequalities.

Very poor in villages are jealous of organised poor in cities, working class looks at urban middle class with bad feelings. We middle class look at rich and super rich and

blame them for everything under the sun.

we have become a society where all are blaming one class of elites or other.

Basic issue is disparity and change in the system to reduce them

 

[Vaagmi]

In this age, everyone looks for an elitist as per his perception Towards whom anger can be channelised.

Tamil Brahmins whose privileges have been scuttled by dravidian movement,reservation policy, hindi imposition from a central power are looking for targets for directing their anger

Well When I say ,I am secular, enjoy the good life of elitist class and an urban consumerist besides being liberal then I become a fit candidate for directing anger.

A brahmin refusing to agree that he is being discriminated as he has escaped the dravidian anger , also freely mixes with all class of people poor, other castes and

religion, the fury can only increase.

In this age of discontent everyone is looking for someone to direct their anger because of inequalities.

Very poor in villages are jealous of organised poor in cities, working class looks at urban middle class with bad feelings. We middle class look at rich and super rich and

blame them for everything under the sun.

we have become a society where all are blaming one class of elites or other.

Basic issue is disparity and change in the system to reduce them

Dear krishji,

Why this victimhood cry from an imagined agony?

I did not expect this from you. I thought we are in an animated conversation. It appears it was not so in your perception. I should be careful in future.

You think I am angry with Dravidian ideologues because I have been put down in my life. LOL. I am a brahmin. I came up in life despite all the hatred ( yes it was pure hatred. One day i witnessed in a bus in which I was riding, a purohit being spat on face with abusive language for just being a brahmin wearing a poonool. It is what is called pure , unadulterated hatred), despite all the odds loaded against me in my path of life. But I was winning laughing all the way. No hatred in return. My best friends are till this date from the NB community, who were my classmates in school and college.

And I am not angry with you. I only am arguing with you. If you do not like my way of arguing you can tell me. I will keep away. Dont hide behind victimhood barrier.

So you think you have escaped the dravidian anger and so you are happy being "secular"? This is called stockholm syndrome. Think about it.

 

[krish44]

Stockholm syndrome.Lol

If you are brought up in an environment since childhood { I am here since birth} one becomes alien I presume .

I have very few tamil friends, a couple or so from school days.

Most friends are from various colleges and elitist univ like IITs and IISc and delhi univ. they are from northern states.So there is a basic comfort level in hindi.

Here again there was no caste issues.

So I never related to anything brahmin much.

So I did not know about the dravidian movement until early sixties when I got first exposure at the time of anti hindi agitation and later emergence of DMK as the

ruling party in tamil nadu.

You might feel saintly inspite of hatred expressed by others in tamil nadu not hitting back.But these leave a mark internally .You carry the image of the assaulted

purohit spat on lifelong It could be any brahmin including you.I am happy you feel proud that you have done well despite odds and maintain friends from other

communities.

Pl feel free to express your thoughts . I am made of harder material .

I can only guess your mindset from your posts and draw conclusions .

 

[krish44]

Many of us are second generation tamil brahmins in other parts of india in north and west or abroad .We are born and brought up here. We got exposed to tamil brahmin

way of life mostly due to educational institution -Tamil school our last generation started besides vaidheeka association for religeous needs. Some cultural groups for music , dance

,theatre also came up. There were some one or two tamil writers from these parts.The schools got exposed to invasion from dravidian groups from tamilnadu in sixties leading

to falling standards and elite brahmins moved away from it. Vaidheeka association died a natural death .Cultural groups these days are promoted more by andhras than

tamils.

In last thirty years, the generation next to us has moved away from anything tamil,study in convent and elite schools, at best speak only tamil. Marriages with locals of

other castes mostly kayasths, yadav and others have become common place.They are more comfortable in hindi.

I suppose it should be same with next generation brahmin kids in US. They are born there and are more comfortable with english than tamil,relate to open society

there ,some bold inter mix and marry locals of other race.They would hardly ever think of returning to india. At best it can be a tourist destination for them

We have all become an inter mixed types half brahmin and half other caste, religion .These are inevitable changes and irreversible.

Those who have less exposure to these types might get agitated at these changes.But these are here to stay

 

[Raji Ram]

Whatever be the thread title, Krish Sir brings in I C / I R weddings in his posts!