Age difference in marriages.

[psnarasimhan]

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Why should not a girl (bride) marry a boy(bridegroom) younger to her. In what way their
married life will be affected or disturbed.

 

[sangom]

Why should not a girl (bride) marry a boy(bridegroom) younger to her. In what way their
married life will be affected or disturbed.

No reason why this should not be done. But, if you go by convention, the bride used to do namaskara to the husband on certain occasions, and, again, convention is that one should not do namaskara to a younger person. That is perhaps the only hitch!

 

[Vaagmi]

No reason why this should not be done. But, if you go by convention, the bride used to do namaskara to the husband on certain occasions, and, again, convention is that one should not do namaskara to a younger person. That is perhaps the only hitch!

so what?the boy can do a namaskaram to the girl. Lol.

 

[psnarasimhan]

Very good idea MrVaagmi. U r really great.Now most of the girls will run after young boys. The problem of marriagable girls will be solved inone stroke.

 

[biswa]

I think the namaskara tradition is long gone. Or not?

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

May be due to biological concepts

 

[psnarasimhan]

The convention and the tradition must be changed immediately. All husbands must be asked to do Namaskarams daily to their wives without fail. This will change their mindset and even go to the extent of helping their husbands in their household chores

 

[balak223]

May be due to biological concepts

The sexual age of man is around 5 to 7 years younger than of the woman. When woman attains puberty at around 12-14 years, the boy of 14 years is still a boy and is very childish. He thinks about sex only at around 17-19 years of age. Similarly woman attains menopause by around 55 years of age. Man is still inclined to sex till atleast 60 years of age , if not even more than that. Hence God must have created Adam first and after 7 years Eve should have been born. There is a healthy sex life when the age difference exists.
But this need not be followed by today's boys and girls because when the average life of a marriage these days is shrinking and shrinking to around 10 years, age difference does not matter.
For a change we can even expeiment marrying a woman 20 years older . It could be a different experience altogether. The age difference of the daughter in law and mother in law can be reduced to almost nil and hence the mother in law can treat her daughter in law as her sister. This could solve the age old mother in law Vs daughter in law problems once for all
Great idea indeed !

 

[psnarasimhan]

Not only agreat idea but is real. A30 year old woman is sure of getting her climax in sex when she enjoys sex with a boy of 15. Nowadays boys and girls around 10 know about sex better than elders. Therefore the question of age difference is a past thing and nobody cares for that.

 

[tbs]

hi

for the happy married sexual life....i heard that older age of bride may be affect of boy's

longvity of life....

 

[CHANDRU1849]

It is said Sachin Tendulkar's wife is 5 years elder to him.

 

[Iyyarooraan]

A man can bend even when his past 70/80. But it is not that easy for a woman, that too say for one of 30 after marriage. After marriage only this man does namaskarams for his omissions and commissions. But who ever does namaskara is fit as a fiddle. Sarva deva namaskarah: Keshavam pratigachchati.

 

[JR]

Even at the time I got married 20 yrs ago, the married ladies used to address their hubby as 'Neenga, vaanga, ponga'. But recently, 5 yrs ago, in a marriage of same aged people who were classmates, I noticed the girl (who is my relative) addressing her hubby as 'Vada, poda' (!). I told her to stop the habit and imagine herself in her 50's and Shashtiabdapoorthi calling her hubby like that, I don't know if she has changed any bit. Girls will continue this habit if they marry younger men and more importantly, maybe the girls parents will call their son-in-law as 'Avan, Ivan' and boys' parents will call their daughter-in-law 'Avar, ivar, avanga'. LOL. Times surely have changed.

 

[biswa]

JRji, I think the Shashtiabdapoorthi is now called Second Honeymoon. And appropriate forms of address for that are "Honey, Sweetheart" etc.

 

[JR]

JRji, I think the Shashtiabdapoorthi is now called Second Honeymoon. And appropriate forms of address for that are "Honey, Sweetheart" etc.

Nice!

 

[renuka]

A man can bend even when his past 70/80. But it is not that easy for a woman, that too say for one of 30 after marriage. After marriage only this man does namaskarams for his omissions and commissions. But who ever does namaskara is fit as a fiddle. Sarva deva namaskarah: Keshavam pratigachchati.

I dont get it..what has doing Namaskarams got to do with gender?

Anyone can be fit as a fiddle. ..I have seen fit older women too.

Its just that many women do not want to do exercises.

Daily Suryanamaskar yoga routine can be done by any gender and that renders full flexibility of body especially the spinal cord.

Bending and twisting exercises of the spine delays age related illness.

In fact Yoga exercises help body get back into shape after pregnancy.

The best exercise to have a flat abdomen is Agnisar Kriya.

 

[renuka]

Even at the time I got married 20 yrs ago, the married ladies used to address their hubby as 'Neenga, vaanga, ponga'. But recently, 5 yrs ago, in a marriage of same aged people who were classmates, I noticed the girl (who is my relative) addressing her hubby as 'Vada, poda' (!). I told her to stop the habit and imagine herself in her 50's and Shashtiabdapoorthi calling her hubby like that, I don't know if she has changed any bit. Girls will continue this habit if they marry younger men and more importantly, maybe the girls parents will call their son-in-law as 'Avan, Ivan' and boys' parents will call their daughter-in-law 'Avar, ivar, avanga'. LOL. Times surely have changed.

Dear JR,

I never use the Da or Di word..it somehow does not seem polite and I wonder why parents in India use Da word for their son so often as showed in movies.

Out here I note that Tamil speaking homes call their sons "Ayya" and their daughter "Ma"

But I call husband by name and he also calls me by name...its easier.

 

[sarang]

It is said that during sallaba-bhoga times, sastras permit reversal of roles - husband doing namaskaram, pressing of legs, less respectful language and the lot. Our ancestors knew more about harmonious role reversal.

JRji, I think the Shashtiabdapoorthi is now called Second Honeymoon. And appropriate forms of address for that are "Honey, Sweetheart" etc.

 

[krish44]

age equality among the married leads to more equitable inter personal relationship . it is all the more pronounced if they are similarly educated and both are economic

entities.

these also lead to these calling each other by their names besides the vada-podi culture.

this has become most common in love marriages not arranged by parents

These types are more friends than conventional husband -wife team where some age difference is insisted upon by parents

 

[JR]

Dear JR,

I never use the Da or Di word..it somehow does not seem polite and I wonder why parents in India use Da word for their son so often as showed in movies.

Out here I note that Tamil speaking homes call their sons "Ayya" and their daughter "Ma"

But I call husband by name and he also calls me by name...its easier.

Dear Renuka,

I noticed NB's usually refer to their little kids as 'Neenga, Vaanga', especially if they are kids of others.

Yes, this 'Da, di' thing is belittling others, at the best. My hubby is 7 yrs older than him, I call him by his name and all, but say, 'neenga, vaanga'. He calls me by my name and says, 'Vaama, poma'. But when it comes to our son and daughter, my hubby uses 'Da and di' but this sounds more from ownership than belittling. I do not address my son and daughter as da, di. Infact, I don't call anyone by these terms, including my own sister.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renuka,

I noticed NB's usually refer to their little kids as 'Neenga, Vaanga', especially if they are kids of others.

Yes, this 'Da, di' thing is belittling others, at the best. My hubby is 7 yrs older than him, I call him by his name and all, but say, 'neenga, vaanga'. He calls me by my name and says, 'Vaama, poma'. But when it comes to our son and daughter, my hubby uses 'Da and di' but this sounds more from ownership than belittling. I do not address my son and daughter as da, di. Infact, I don't call anyone by these terms, including my own sister.

Dear JR,

When I am in good happy mood I address anyone lovingly in English.

When I am not in a good mood I usually speak in Malay.

So when I start to speak in Malay my husband knows that I am not in a good mood.

Malay has a word called "Oi" which is pronounced very similar to the Punjabi "Oye".

But the meaning of Oi is not the same as the Punju Oye.

Malay "Oi' means 'hey you"

So when I am not in a good mood..I use lots of "Oi".

 

[JR]

Ooh! I will keep an eye out for 'Oi' from you, Renuka!

 

[Iyyarooraan]

I dont get it..what has doing Namaskarams got to do with gender?

Anyone can be fit as a fiddle. ..I have seen fit older women too.

Its just that many women do not want to do exercises.

Daily Suryanamaskar yoga routine can be done by any gender and that renders full flexibility of body especially the spinal cord.

Bending and twisting exercises of the spine delays age related illness.

In fact Yoga exercises help body get back into shape after pregnancy.

The best exercise to have a flat abdomen is Agnisar Kriya.

For so many reasons there is a physiological changes after marriage/pregnancy. The health conscious and helpful family heredity does not cause problem. But every body is not endowed with desirable health conditions. Older generation ladies could do namaskarams even after delivering a cricket/hockey team with extras in 9-var sarees. Present day life style would not either allow them to do namaskaram. Yoga can help but so can namaskarams for which you do not pay somebody but get aashirvadam. But I request the elderly not to insist on namaskaram from those who have no bend of mind. Again I will say today's children have more and sincere respects for elders in their mind. Scratch me to find how much respect I had.

 

[renuka]

For so many reasons there is a physiological changes after marriage/pregnancy. The health conscious and helpful family heredity does not cause problem. But every body is not endowed with desirable health conditions. Older generation ladies could do namaskarams even after delivering a cricket/hockey team with extras in 9-var sarees. Present day life style would not either allow them to do namaskaram. Yoga can help but so can namaskarams for which you do not pay somebody but get aashirvadam. But I request the elderly not to insist on namaskaram from those who have no bend of mind. Again I will say today's children have more and sincere respects for elders in their mind. Scratch me to find how much respect I had.

Dear Sir,

Even though there are some changes after pregnancy/marriage most of is mainly psychological as you said.

To a great extent a married woman thinks that she should be different and she has some new added responsibility and many try to actually mould themselves into what society expects them to be.

I have seen this even in western woman..there is a TV show called 'How do I look" where women are given a make over.

Many a times some of the contestants are married and have kids and the others complain that they dress too weird not like how a Mother would dress. So people want a mum to dress like a mum!

To a great extent many woman want to transform into wife or mother forgetting that both roles are phases in life and does not have to change the true person inside of us.

I can safely say that I am still very much the same person I have always been.Marriage or child birth never changed my mind set.

In fact at times I do not even feel married at all!LOL

I feel I am the same person and others have joined my journey in life but the journey even though combined still has it individuality.

 

[a-TB]

If a marriage is not forced age difference is none of anyone's business other than those getting married