Beating and controlling wives ..

[tks]

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I know the title is disturbing ..

Some years ago when we subscribed to SUN TV I started watching off and on this serial called 'Metti Oli'.

I used to ask my children to watch with me if they are home so they continue to be very fluent in Tamil.

In many episodes it was common for a man to beat his wife and slap her. There was almost this unsaid edict that one is allowed to slap and beat his wife.

In one such episode with a bit too much beating , my daughter said " 'this show is by the Porukkis, of the porukkis and for the Porukkis' .. Do you still want to watch this nonsense .. "

She was expressing her disapproval in a humorous way.. My point here is not to offend any Metti Oli fans for I am sure there may have been other aspects that people may have liked about that show.

Are men in the world, especially India so insecure that they think beating wife is an accepted norm even today?

I was reminded of Metti Oli epsode (and I stopped watching the show) when I recently came across news about a new book selling in Canada.

It tells Muslim men how to beat and control their wives (titled 'Muslim couple').

This issue is not limited to Muslim men only but applies to insecure men across the globe.

I hope at a minimum we boycott those serials that further domestic violence ..
Call out when such a practice is validated by misguided few through extreme interpretation of a religious doctrine ..
Speak against those superstitious few among TB who put women down (like bad omen to see a women who has lost her husband ) etc

By putting women down we are putting our own self down ...

 

[arjun]

I agree.his is a practice which has outlived its age and must be condemned.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I know the title is disturbing ..

Some years ago when we subscribed to SUN TV I started watching off and on this serial called 'Metti Oli'.

I used to ask my children to watch with me if they are home so they continue to be very fluent in Tamil.

In many episodes it was common for a man to beat his wife and slap her. There was almost this unsaid edict that one is allowed to slap and beat his wife.

In one such episode with a bit too much beating , my daughter said " 'this show is by the Porukkis, of the porukkis and for the Porukkis' .. Do you still want to watch this nonsense .. "

She was expressing her disapproval in a humorous way.. My point here is not to offend any Metti Oli fans for I am sure there may have been other aspects that people may have liked about that show.

Are men in the world, especially India so insecure that they think beating wife is an accepted norm even today?

I was reminded of Metti Oli epsode (and I stopped watching the show) when I recently came across news about a new book selling in Canada.

It tells Muslim men how to beat and control their wives (titled 'Muslim couple').

This issue is not limited to Muslim men only but applies to insecure men across the globe.

I hope at a minimum we boycott those serials that further domestic violence ..
Call out when such a practice is validated by misguided few through extreme interpretation of a religious doctrine ..
Speak against those superstitious few among TB who put women down (like bad omen to see a women who has lost her husband ) etc

By putting women down we are putting our own self down ...[/QU

It is disgusting to watch these serials in which the male degrades his wife so much and in the name of family and society.. and it is more disturbing when women put down women, a few years ago, I met one of the main guys who worked on Metti Oli and directly asked him about this slapping and he felt so bad and said in the future serials, they are trying not to do it.. I guess, since he was cornered, he happened to give me that answer.. I too stopped watching tamil serials, and I don't even have Sun TV anymore, it is the same in Hindi and telugu so it is so disheartening.. but I hope the future generation do not continue such uncouth behavior and learn to love themselves so they can permeate this love towards their spouse..

 

[renuka]

Wife beating is still going on cos no wife dare hit back her husband.
If a woman gives him back one tight slap on his face till he sees stars and is deafened for a while..then he might think twice about hitting her again.


You know alternately crush oral contraceptive pills and add it in the diet of an aggressive man and watch him after few months become effeminate and he might be useful around the house to help in housework!!!LOL

(Note: this is meant to be a joke only and I am in no way recommending chemical castration for domestic quarrels)

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The only way to control it is to nip it in the bud.
Wife is one's family.
Wife is one's friend.
Wife is not a slave.
Wife is not for beating and slapping.
If the woman makes it very clear that she will NOT stand quietly and take the thrashings, the husband will think twice before raising his hand again.
Man may be superior in physical strength but it is the woman who is spiritually stronger.

 

[renuka]

The only way to control it is to nip it in the bud.

Like Lorena Bobbit???

 

[கால பைரவன்]

Man may be superior in physical strength but it is the woman who is spiritually stronger.

How would women deal with men who think being spiritual is a weakness?

 

[Subhalakshmi]

You cannot convince anyone, when they don't want to be convinced, whether spiritual or even to believe that the wife is on his side but as a minister she has the right to counsel him.. but most men don't want to hear it.. My dad was quite a strong man, but never would interfere in daily affairs, of course, only time he would get upset when my mom tells him that the Nalli bill is ..... and to appease his anger she will add, O! bushukku rendu pavadai eduthen.. O boy my mom was clever.. just thought about this..

anyway Renu I was laughing at your post.. And Mrs. Visalakshi, some situations are such there is nothing you can do to nip it in the bud.. and some situations do not arise until the couple start having children, so it varies in the way of domination and also silent domination and intimidation.. it is all so common in this world, no matter where you come from what race religion .... nothing matters.

 

[renuka]

How would women deal with men who think being spiritual is a weakness?

We would make him SPIRITually high!!

 

[sravna]

I think women in general are more adept at psychology than men. A clever woman will surely have her way over the man and it is mainly only those who fail on the above count who are at a disadvantage.

Also today the woman is far more secure financially and hence it is possible now to not accept the typical male domination.

 

[suraju06]

Renuka,

Your posts 4 and 6. Great aanis hit with with great force. Rekka neenga engeyo poyitteenga!!

 

[srijith1981]

What do you suggest for a women who mentally harass her husband?

Wife beating is still going on cos no wife dare hit back her husband.
If a woman gives him back one tight slap on his face till he sees stars and is deafened for a while..then he might think twice about hitting her again.


You know alternately crush oral contraceptive pills and add it in the diet of an aggressive man and watch him after few months become effeminate and he might be useful around the house to help in housework!!!LOL

(Note: this is meant to be a joke only and I am in no way recommending chemical castration for domestic quarrels)

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

With the passing time, the physical strength dwindles down

but the spiritual strength increases.

"The little lady round the corner" has so much influence in U.S.A

that a complaint from her will lodge the wrongdoer in prison

immediately!

Why do you think grandmothers are so much more powerful and

influencing than grandfathers??? It is because of their spiritual

strength.

How would women deal with men who think being spiritual is a weakness?

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

I Google searched for the unknown person you have referred to! :scared:

Like Lorena Bobbit???

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

We would make him SPIRITually high!!

But the problem started because the husband was spiritually high!

A question to the doctor in the forum...
Was the operation successful and
was he able to operate after the operation???

From wikipedia.

During the night of June 23, 1993, John Wayne Bobbitt arrived at the couple's apartment in Manassas, Virginia, highly intoxicated after a night of partying. According to testimony given by Lorena Bobbitt in a 1994 court hearing, he then raped her. (In 1994 he was tried for and acquitted of spousal rape, prosecuted by the same district attorney who prosecuted Lorena for attacking her husband.) Afterwards, Lorena Bobbitt got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a drink of water. According to an article in the National Women's Studies Association Journal, while in the kitchen she noticed a carving knife on the counter and "memories of past domestic abuses raced through her head." Grabbing the knife, Lorena Bobbitt entered the bedroom where John was sleeping and proceeded to cut off nearly half of his penis.

After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment with the severed penis, drove a short while, then rolled down the car window and threw the penis into a field. Realizing the severity of the incident, she stopped and called 911. After an exhaustive search, the penis was located, packed in ice, and taken to the hospital where John Bobbitt was being treated.

The penis was reattached by Drs. James T. Sehn and David Berman during a nine-and-a-half-hour operation.[SUP]


[/SUP]

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Yes sir! You said it right!
Today's woman will say,
My way or highway!"

I think women in general are more adept at psychology than men. A clever woman will surely have her way over the man and it is mainly only those who fail on the above count who are at a disadvantage.

Also today the woman is far more secure financially and hence it is possible now to not accept the typical male domination.

 

[renuka]

What do you suggest for a women who mentally harass her husband?

A new wife for him!!!(Sakkalathi)

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Chop off the most convenient part???

What do you suggest for a women who mentally harass her husband?

 

[renuka]

A question to the doctor in the forum...
Was the operation successful and
was he able to operate after the operation???

I really dont know..I wonder if he was normal after that.

 

[renuka]

Yes sir! You said it right!
Today's woman will say,
My way or highway!"

and they will charge you Toll for the Highway too!!!

 

[S.Ramanathan]

Many time when I open tv in the morning hours I hear death news, vulgur words from serials, etc. and only some channels I hear about god. It seems without bad words tv serial cannot run.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

In all probability his wife never had to fear :fear:
of being raped against her will!
Serves him well!!! :high5:
He is lucky that the part thrown away was not eaten by a dog or cat!
Then the doctors would have to had reconstruct the missing part-
involving more hours of surgery!!

I really dont know..I wonder if he was normal after that.

 

[renuka]

Many time when I open tv in the morning hours I hear death news, vulgur words from serials, etc. and only some channels I hear about god. It seems without bad words tv serial cannot run.

That way you guys are lucky cos out here every "bad' word is censored and bleeped off.(our censors are too strict.)

Sometimes some "bad" words need to be there to have full effect of the story and for the kickku!!!

 

[KRS]

Folks, especially dear ladies,

This is a very serious problem around the world.

When I was growing up, I remember liking a Shivaji Ganesan movie in which the hero hits his wife and sings 'Adikkara Kaithan Anaikkum'. I never gave a secong thought to it till my later years, when I heard it again, and it didnot make any sense to me.

Even in USA, where I live, there are quite a bit of instances of violence towards a wife - all because the predominant Christian religion practiced here tells a man that his wife and children are his property. Such teachings in any religion should not be tolerated.

But what I worry more about are the soft violence against women, like the guy here who posted about his wife having a Moolam nakshatram. I still often think about the fate of his unlucky wife.

I also know of an educated couple, whose mother of the son advised him that the way to keep his highly educated wife is to use physical force! Yes, this is happening today!

I only wish Sri Kunjuppu Ji is here to articulate this, as he chronicled a very poignant story about a friend who was abused!

As a community, I think, we need to hang our head in shame regarding this topic.

Regards,
KRS

 

[renuka]

When I was growing up, I remember liking a Shivaji Ganesan movie in which the hero hits his wife and sings 'Adikkara Kaithan Anaikkum'. I never gave a secong thought to it till my later years, when I heard it again, and it didnot make any sense to me.
KRS

there is a new version too from the film Natpukkaga.

BTW I hate to see scenes where the hero slaps the heroine and she falls in love with him!!

Who on earth will fall in love with a person who hits you??

[video=youtube_share;_e8GEdHS9u4]http://youtu.be/_e8GEdHS9u4[/video]