Beating and controlling wives ..

[renuka]

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We have to remember that even husbands are battered.
I have treated cases of battered husbands where there is injury and the man is so fearful of his wife and breaks down crying.

The difference is men do not like to tell that they are battered where else woman like to shout domestic abuse even for the slightest reasons!!

Further more men will look down upon another man who gets battered.
Actually come to think of it men are seldom given the freedom to express their emotions and they suffer a lot too in long run.

I have seen hen pecked husbands that have suffered the silent abuse of wives that control even their ability to think.
Abuse need not be physical only but mental abuse in form of extreme controlling of anothers actions and thoughts are destructive enough.

 

[C RAVI]

We have to remember that even husbands are battered.
I have treated cases of battered husbands where there is injury and the man is so fearful of his wife and breaks down crying.

The difference is men do not like to tell that they are battered where else woman like to shout domestic abuse even for the slightest reasons!!

Further more men will look down upon another man who gets battered.
Actually come to think of it men are seldom given the freedom to express their emotions and they suffer a lot too in long run.

I have seen hen pecked husbands that have suffered the silent abuse of wives that control even their ability to think. Abuse need not be physical only but mental abuse in form of extreme controlling of anothers actions and thoughts are destructive enough.

And when the abused, hen pecked husband wakes up all of sudden, realizing, enough is enough, may stand up as a man and slap his wife to bring her to normalcy. At this juncture wife may make all sorts of hue and cry, not withstanding the enlightenment of her husband, and alarm people to come to her rescue from her violent husband..LOL

And outsiders may say - What ever way your wife may be wrong, you should have not raised your hands and demonstrated your muscular supremacy. Today you proved yourself as male chauvinist. LOL

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

In fact very often the woman tries to control her husband's thoughts

through stinging words.

The man unable to talk as effectively as her, has to turn to blows to

show that he is unhappy.

For a bettered wife, the battering is a trump card.

For a battered man they are marks of shame.

Unless both the man and the wife listen to and speak reason,

the animal side of their relationship cannot be ruled out.

I am reminded of a quotation.

If all the wenches are so sweet,

whence come the shrew-wives?

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The law of the jungle is applicable to most human relationships.

Rule or be ruled!

If the husband does not dominate...his wife will.

If the mother in law does not dominate... her daughter in law will.

If the parents do not dominate... their children will.

 

[renuka]

The law of the jungle is applicable to most human relationships.

Rule or be ruled!

If the husband does not dominate...his wife will.

If the mother in law does not dominate... her daughter in law will.

If the parents do not dominate... their children will.

I follow a simple law..

You dont mess with me I wont mess with you.

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

Sing in the tune of :sing:

"Don't mess with Bill!":nono:

"Don't mess with me!:nono:

I won't mess with you!!"

I follow a simple law..

You dont mess with me I wont mess with you.

 

[C RAVI]

Folks, especially dear ladies,


But what I worry more about are the soft violence against women, like the guy here who posted about his wife having a Moolam nakshatram. I still often think about the fate of his unlucky wife.


Regards,
KRS

Shri KRS,

IMHO, it is not fair to project that guy who posted about his wife having a Moolam Nakshatram as cruel and a male chauvinist.

The guy said very clearly that he loves his wife a lot and so his parents. And both the guy and his parents are seeking for some genuine guidance/pariharam to ward off any possible evil vibrations due to Moolam Nakshatram so that the Home can have a peaceful and healthy environment.

It is fine, if we consider such astro related belief as superstitious and enlighten people to not be ill informed, worrying and complicating each others life. But accusing him, imagining his sense of atrocities and considering his wife as unlucky lady, suffering in the hands of her husband and in-laws would not be correct..


I know of a real life incident where a married lady with the help of her parents, divorced her husband only because he had Chevvai Dosham present in his true horoscope. He seem to have manipulated with his horoscope to get married.

 

[renuka]

And when the abused, hen pecked husband wakes up all of sudden, realizing, enough is enough, may stand up as a man and slap his wife to bring her to normalcy. At this juncture wife may make all sorts of hue and cry, not withstanding the enlightenment of her husband, and alarm people to come to her rescue from her violent husband..LOL

And outsiders may say - What ever way your wife may be wrong, you should have not raised your hands and demonstrated your muscular supremacy. Today you proved yourself as male chauvinist. LOL

Now you get what I mean?? Guys will get blamed anyhow!!LOL

 

[C RAVI]

Now you get what I mean?? Guys will get blamed anyhow!!LOL

I could not get you!!! Where and what you tried to explain me what you mean and I failed to understand?

 

[renuka]

I could not get you!!! Where and what you tried to explain me what you mean and I failed to understand?

Aiyoooooooo Raviiiiiiiiii!!!!

Didnt I just say that no matter in which ever situation a guy will be blamed if he hits his wife even in the case where there is awakening of a hen pecked battered husband.

 

[C RAVI]

Aiyoooooooo Raviiiiiiiiii!!!!

Didnt I just say that no matter in which ever situation a guy will be blamed if he hits his wife even in the case where there is awakening of a hen pecked battered husband.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yes dear Renuka..So you re-iterate that in today's society we can not sympathize anyone (husband or wife) conclusively, without knowing what's really happening inside the four walls.

A lady who got the hit from her husband may spare him and continue to stay with him with true love and care, IF she realizes without her exaggerated sense of Ego, as how wrong was she and how right was he.

A lady who truly suffers in the hands of her abusive husband should be bold enough to revolt against him and protect herself.

A Man should never be a hen pecked person and allow her wife to over rule and abuse him without her own knowledge.


What ever we speak out of our rational mind, sympathizing and idealizing, the real life incidents are too peculiar and complex. The reason behind a lady not revolting against her battering husband and that of a hen pecked husband bearing his wife's abuses may be many and may be peculiar, unjustifiable, uncomprehending and confusing to the outsiders.

 

[S.Ramanathan]

The law of the jungle is applicable to most human relationships.

Rule or be ruled!

If the husband does not dominate...his wife will.

If the mother in law does not dominate... her daughter in law will.

If the parents do not dominate... their children will.

Excellant Mam visalakshi Ramani. You are talking yadhartham that is what is happening in the world. At times Mamiar mecchia marumagalum undey.

Husband i Kurai sollatha manaivigalum undo?

Why there should not be fifty fifty? A life with equal participation, love and understanding. If there is no domination there will not be any violance. There will be sound only if two hands are clapped.​

 

[renuka]

Actually sometimes some people also deserved to be hit so if you dont want to land into trouble by hitting someone..hire some one else to do it!!LOL

 

[C RAVI]

Actually sometimes some people also deserved to be hit so if you dont want to land into trouble by hitting someone..hire some one else to do it!!LOL

Ladies are expert in this!!! They know how and whom to be instigated, even without spending money, to put her husband under depression and make him breaking his own head against a wall...LOLLL

 

[Visalakshi Ramani]

The law of the jungle is applicable to most human relationships.

Rule or be ruled!

If the husband does not dominate...his wife will.

If the mother in law does not dominate... her daughter in law will.

If the parents do not dominate... their children will.

Excellant Mam visalakshi Ramani. You are talking yadhartham that is what is happening in the world. At times Mamiar mecchia marumagalum undey.

Husband i Kurai sollatha manaivigalum undo?

Why there should not be fifty fifty? A life with equal participation, love and understanding. If there is no domination there will not be any violance. There will be sound only if two hands are clapped.​

Nature abhors vacuum.

Clean up a spot and see after ten minutes.

Already it will be occupied by something

which has appeared from nowhere!

The same thing with powerful positions!

They can't remain vacant for long. :nono:

Someone must sit and occupy them. :couch2:

One of the two hands remaining silent is O.K.
But the problem lies in deciding :decision:

WHICH of those two hands should remain docile!

 

[vasuchak]

Very funny.

Wife beating is still going on cos no wife dare hit back her husband.
If a woman gives him back one tight slap on his face till he sees stars and is deafened for a while..then he might think twice about hitting her again.


You know alternately crush oral contraceptive pills and add it in the diet of an aggressive man and watch him after few months become effeminate and he might be useful around the house to help in housework!!!LOL

(Note: this is meant to be a joke only and I am in no way recommending chemical castration for domestic quarrels)

 

[vasuchak]

Funny renu

You are so so funny. Can't control my laughter at all. Hahahaha hehehehe

Like Lorena Bobbit???

 

[Iyyarooraan]

"We have heard enough about wars. Let us talk about peace." Nehru once said. Similarly, let me say, we have heard enough about husband beating wife, etc. Of course it is a current topic and we should campaign against the dirty. There have been a few cases of wife beating husband also in the past. A few husbands had committed suicide. All husbands do not beat their wives. There have always been quarrels particularly and only from the WEAK! I want to know the opinion of the ladies about the majority of the males (of course minus the wife beating clans). Are they reasonable husbands, caring ones or just lambs satisfied at getting some thing to fill up that span of belly?

 

[vgane]

Ladies are expert in this!!! They know how and whom to be instigated, even without spending money, to put her husband under depression and make him breaking his own head against a wall...LOLLL

In any relationship the scales are never balanced...It gets always tilted one side...With emotions, external advice, interference by family members combined with human frailties it becomes an inferno if not handled properly...There has to be some give & take...Otherwise ego clashes are bound to happen...With economic emanicipation of women the age of tolerating insults & innuendoes by men is over...The women react violently at times by shouting at the top of their voice(esp. the high pitched ones)...These are a taboo in a healthy relationship...If the glue in relationship is not strong (can be children's education, marriage, needing each other company etc) the physical abuse by men and mental abuse by women would continue to create havoc

 

[biswa]

Not condoning any sort of physical violence. But anyone else think that words can sometimes hurt as much?

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I have first hand knowledge what it is to be an abused wife.. a man so intelligent with so many degrees can have a complex against his wife,.. so then start the anger and vendetta and hitting, at the same time, the wife knows the husband is a super intellect person, excellent speaker, has a wonderful disposition with friends, family and clients, yet is highly opinionated and behaves to the family or the public so irrationally, fully realizing the folly, yet makes it look like he is not aware of it.. the beating comes easily for him since he feels that he is the victim... how strange..

Then there are wonderful men and women, who are truly gentle and cannot utter one bad word, not saying they don't get angry, even when they do it is at the most slamming the door and brooding for a while.. I know a husband who has bent over backwards for his second wife (first wife died of cancer) but since this woman has a terrible insecurity she has been blaming him of having affairs here and in India, and mind you this woman is good looking and has no reason to be insecure, she has gotten into a family where she has the world under her feet, yet she is not satisfied.. what can I say..

Whether it is a man or a woman, it is something in them that makes them behave the way they do.. their spouses are a threat to them, no matter how much the other party tries to appease them they keep piling more and more accusations, until the so called sacred bond breaks and brings havoc to the entire family " sadhu meranda kaadu kolladhu" my mother in law said that " bharya roopavathi sathru" I asked who is she the satru to.. herself or others. . I think she is her own enemy and if she had married the right guy, it would be " Bharya roopavati bagyam"

Communication is the key and I think the present generation is not putting up with any nonsense on either side..

 

[KRS]

Dear Sri Ravi Ji,

You said:
[QUOTEIt is fine, if we consider such astro related belief as superstitious and enlighten people to not be ill informed, worrying and complicating each others life. But accusing him, imagining his sense of atrocities and considering his wife as unlucky lady, suffering in the hands of her husband and in-laws would not be correct..
][/QUOTE]

Unfortunately, I have seen too many cases like this during my life. Any bad thing that happens, almost always is put on the girl, which is mental abuse.

I am sorry, but we agree to disagree on this one.

Regards,
KRS

 

[Nara]

A battered wife is one who gets beaten up by her husband. A hen pecked husband is one who always listens to, or obeys if you will, his wife, or to make it even more graphic, lacks the backbone to contradict his wife.

Now, I feel a certain male-dominated mindset is at play when an equivalency between the two is made.

Often, the hardship women face to first get a divorce, and to then lead a normal dignified life, makes ill-treated wives to stay on in a bad marriage. This allows these men to go on abusing their wives with impunity. The laws should be changed to allow women to seek and get divorces without their husbands blocking it. The prospect of wife walking out will act as a restraint at least in many cases, sadly not in all the cases of course.

Cheers!

 

[renuka]

Not condoning any sort of physical violence. But anyone else think that words can sometimes hurt as much?

Even silence can be a torture.

 

[renuka]

I want to know the opinion of the ladies about the majority of the males (of course minus the wife beating clans). Are they reasonable husbands, caring ones or just lambs satisfied at getting some thing to fill up that span of belly?

Most husbands and wives are Ok I feel..after many years of marriage life becomes a reflex.

In a reflex, signals do not reach the brain but only go tru the spinal cord.
Its like the famous Pavlov Experiment.

So dont worry..none of us really think that much after many years of marriage.