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Child rearing!

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Raji Ram said:
I met one interesting mAmA in Connecticut. Right from the tender age, his two children were 'taught' to talk in Tamil at home and

eat breakfast and dinner with the family. Both his son and daughter are nicely brought up and the daughter has entered into one of

my extended families. They are so proud of her! :thumb:
Click to expand...
This kinds are difficult to find in US.

I have a grand niece , singapore citizen floating in newjersey after graduation from a top school in US. She is around 25 years

I am looking for a match for her only US or canada.

you know anyone?
 
You are right, Krish Sir! Most tambrahm children in the U S of A are not fluent in Tamil. :sad:

I think girls are very smart to find the correct match for them, if they are graduated from a top school in U S! :)
 
Any idea on how much the parents have to shell out to keep their kids happy?

It is very hard to please children of this generation; they want 'surprise' (gift) every day! :cool:

Once, I bought a toy for Ram's grand niece and she asked me point blank, "Can't you get a costly gift for me?"
I was about to :faint: !!
 
Raji Ram said:
You are right, Krish Sir! Most tambrahm children in the U S of A are not fluent in Tamil. :sad:

I think girls are very smart to find the correct match for them, if they are graduated from a top school in U S! :)
Click to expand...
This girl studied in singapore upto 12th , IB stayed with iyengar parents talking brahmin tamil home.

Later went to US for higher education and spent four years to get graduation degree.

Since they are liberals , do not mind any brahmin or any other close community.

She is not the dating type as far as I know.

Let me see if I can locate someone.

I do not have many contacts in US which I have avoided so far.
 
Raji Ram said:
Any idea on how much the parents have to shell out to keep their kids happy?

It is very hard to please children of this generation; they want 'surprise' (gift) every day! :cool:

Once, I bought a toy for Ram's grand niece and she asked me point blank, "Can't you get a costly gift for me?"
I was about to :faint: !!
Click to expand...
In india choices of gifts for kids are not many.

During birthday party of my grandson aged one , he received eight numbers of similar gift of dogs in fur of various sizes besides cars, buses and engines which are

lighted and making sounds.Most go to similar places to buy gifts.
 
The birthday parties for kids in the U S of A is a big headache. Parents book a hall, with facilities for the kid to play and run around.

Gifts are bought by each family. There will be one or two useful toys and the rest will be junk! (Later, all these toys are dumped in

big baskets / chest of draws). Cola and other cool drinks are served along with varieties of pizzas. All the adults gobble up the pizza

pieces. All the kids learn to eat pizza as soon as they are able to bite food. I was really surprised!

BTW, one kid told me that Tamil birthday is boring because she gets only vadai - pAyasam and a visit to the nearby temple. :D
 
Very true Raji Madam. It is a really big headache here. I see that in India too,nowadays, parents have lavish birthday parties for their kids. We follow tamil birthdays only in our home. When our kids question as to why we do not celebrate big birthday parties like other kids, we satisfy them by cutting a cake at home only with family members and take them for tours. As you say, all these birthday parties give kids lots of junk foods and toys only.
 
Pizza is actually Italian food..made well its not fast food at all.

It has carbs..protein and olive oil..olives etc.

I
 
Raising a child in affluent society whether it is India or USA it is similar.
I have seen very lavish birthday parties even in India, Maybe the TB in the USA have reached that state.
 
prasad1 said:
Raising a child in affluent society whether it is India or USA it is similar.
I have seen very lavish birthday parties even in India, Maybe the TB in the USA have reached that state.
Click to expand...

True...even here its lavish ..held at hotels at times.

But usually many opt to have it at Mc Donalds and Mc D organizes it with clowns etc.

For my sons bday my parents usually have a family bhajan with my in laws and then just a family party.

My parents advise not to go lavish cos its better to be moderate.
 
It is wise to have two parties. One traditional with vadhyar and homam etc at home in the morning and another in hotel with big balloons, colourful lights,kids ,cake and candles.It could be a dinner

with friends and immediate family- another set of people. In india we have limitations due to size of flats.
 
Affluent people don't have their kid's birthday party at home but in a star hotel. An event manager will 'conduct' it. :cool:

Hall is free if the number of guests are more than a specific number. Food is charged. Games / magic shows are arranged

paying money! In one such parties, I enjoyed a fascinating show by 'Meesai' Murugesan, in which he demonstrated varieties

of sounds he makes in Tamil movie scenes and songs, with very simple stuff.

1. Background for ghost scenes is made by moving a violin bow over the blunt side of a huge 'tree-cutting' saw.

2. Thunder sound is made with an empty two liter plastic water bottle! After full crushing is done, he brings the

bottle back to its shape by just blowing though its tiny opening! Wow!!

3. Two short bamboo sticks are used to make the sound of a running horse. (RAjAvin pArvai song is an example)

4. A huge ghatam covered with some skin, makes the folk rhythms - it is called 'Ghata singAri'. :)

Enjoy the sound of ghata singari in this song: Thazhayam Poomudichu
 
In Sing. Chennai, most of the Ayush homams are arranged in some mandapam. Catering and sAsthrigaL by contract!

Soon after the homam, cake cutting ceremony is done, with a different dress for the birthday kid - mostly western! :)
 
In many places in other metros, lighting of sacred fire for rituals are not permitted due to fire hazards.

Hence rituals home and food service outside in nearby halls? hotels.Works out fine.
 
In bangalore there are free lancers who take up these birthday celebration event arrange in hotels taking care of everything from decoration to cake cutting and food and

drinks. They are pretty economical and save a lot of headaches for working couples.
 
There is an adage in Tamil, which asks, 'aindhil vaLaiyAdhadhu aimbadhil vaLaiyumA?'

Unless a kid develops good habits and manners at the age of five, it is not possible to inculcate them later!

Is it not the duty of the parents to guide the child properly right from the tender age? A child should learn

to respect elders, not to speak ill of anyone and not to harm others by words or deeds.

In another thread, an eight year old is described as one with no decorum at all! The kid says slur words

about people of other religion and also uses words like 'mot**chchi', while attending a church wedding!

Can anyone bring up a kid in that manner? :shocked:
 
Raji Ram said:
There is an adage in Tamil, which asks, 'aindhil vaLaiyAdhadhu aimbadhil vaLaiyumA?'

Unless a kid develops good habits and manners at the age of five, it is not possible to inculcate them later!

Is it not the duty of the parents to guide the child properly right from the tender age? A child should learn

to respect elders, not to speak ill of anyone and not to harm others by words or deeds.

In another thread, an eight year old is described as one with no decorum at all! The kid says slur words

about people of other religion and also uses words like 'mot**chchi', while attending a church wedding!

Can anyone bring up a kid in that manner? :shocked:
Click to expand...


Dear RR ji,

I recently met a Middle Eastern person who introduced me to his whole family.

I was impressed to see such well behaved kids ..aged just 4 and 6 and so well mannered and the father of the children were teaching the kids how to salaam with me and smile..to maintain eye contact.. speak politely.

At every step the children were guided verbally to respect an adult and when the children followed instructions the father of the children also appreciated the children and praised them for it right away.

I felt it was a real good way to teach kids...give verbal instructions..make them follow it..correct them if wrong and praise and thank the kids too to make them feel appreciated.
 
Dear Renu,

Yeah! Parents have to teach the kids when they are very young. In our village, Gounders have the habit of

addressing kids with respect (vAnga; pOnga etc) and they also talk to others in the same polite manner! :cool:
 
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