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End of the goodnight kiss ஆசை அறுபது நாள் மோஹம் முப்பது நாள்

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Naina_Marbus

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End of the goodnight kiss ஆசை அறுபது நாள் மோஹம் முப்பது நாள்

End of the good night kiss

What happens in your bedroom when the lights go out? If new research is to be believed, the answer is not much.

80% of couples go to sleep without even a simple peck (and 90% don't even bother to say 'I love you')

'Inevitably, once the first flush of lust wears off, .....it is more likely that the need for a good night's sleep predominates, so sleeping back to back becomes a favourable position in bed'

Relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet

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How true ! ஆசை அறுபது நாள் மோஹம் முப்பது நாள்
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அடுத்த ஸ்டேஜ் செபரேட் பெட்தான் !
 
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The secret to lasting love

George Brown and Glynis Johnstone have been madly in love since 1977.

The Scottish couple got engaged 32-years-ago in 1980 and believe that if they had ever married they would have gone their separate ways by now.

Here is what they say:

'People keep asking me when I’m going to get married, but we must be doing something right as we’re still together.

'We’ve lasted much longer than most marriages, so it’s probably the fact we’ve not got done it that means we’re still here now.
 
dear naina sir !
[h=2]ஆசை அறுபது நாள் மோஹம் முப்பது நாள்[/h]பசி தீரும் வரைதான் உணவு வேண்டும் .பிறகு உறக்கம்
the finding is true. .our mind setup and decency is not allowing even to speak/sit together so avoid the
பொண்டாட்டி தான் title.
guruvayurappan
 
.......... the finding is true. .our mind setup and decency is not allowing even to speak/sit together so avoid the பொண்டாட்டி தான் title. .....
'தா' - 'ன்' இரண்டுக்கும் இடையில் ' ஸ' வைக் காணோமே!! :spy:
 
...... How true ! ஆசை அறுபது நாள் மோஹம் முப்பது நாள் .........
இந்த வகை ஆசையும் மோஹமும் தீருவதற்குள், நிஜமான அன்பு மலர வேண்டும் என்பதே நான் நினைக்கும் விளக்கம்!

இளமையும் அழகும் எத்தனை காலம் நிலைக்கும்? :noidea:

 
இந்த வகை ஆசையும் மோஹமும் தீருவதற்குள், நிஜமான அன்பு மலர வேண்டும் என்பதே நான் நினைக்கும் விளக்கம்!

இளமையும் அழகும் எத்தனை காலம் நிலைக்கும்? :noidea:



Very true!!!! Thats why and thats how its evident that, the growth of matured love with sense of commitment, responsibility and attachment can never be achieved, if a person understands wrongly that LOVE = SENSUAL FEELINGS ONLY, based on youthfulness and beauty.
 

வாழ்வை இன்பமாக்குவோம்!



இது என்ன? புது விஷயமா? நிச்சயமாக இல்லை, இல்லை;
பொதுவான கருத்துக்களையே மீண்டும் சொல்லும் வேலை!


வினைப்பயனால் அமைவதுவே நமக்குப் பூவுலக வாழ்க்கை;
துணை அமைவதும் விதியால் வந்துவிடும் ஒரு சேர்க்கை!


எப்படி இனிமையாக்குவது விதியால் வரும் அமைப்பை?
அப்படி எண்ணியதன் விளைவே இன்று எழுதும் கவிதை!


பிறரை மாற்ற விழைவதை விட்டு, நாம் மாறினால் என்ன?
துயரைத் துடைக்க இதை விட்டால் வேறு மார்க்கம் என்ன?


விட்டுக் கொடுக்க நம்முடைய துணை அறியாவிடில், நாமே
விட்டுக் கொடுத்துத்தான் பார்ப்போமே! வாழ்வும் மாறிடுமே!


உடனிருப்போருக்குப் பிடிப்பதை நாம் செய்து விடுவோமே;
உடனிருப்போருக்குப் பிடிக்காததைச் செய்யாது விடுவோமே!


நானே பெரியவன், நல்ல அறிவாளி என இருவரும் எண்ண,
தானே வந்து சேரும் விஷயம், தினம் வாக்குவாதம் பண்ண!


அரிது அரிது மானிடராய்ப் பிறத்தல் என அறிந்தும் – இந்த
அரிய பிறவியைக் கசந்து போக வைக்க முயலவேண்டாம்!


குறைவின்றி நம்மைப் படைத்த இறையைத் தலை வணங்கி,
குறைவில்லா இன்பம் பெற, இக்கணம் முதல் மாறிடுவோம்!


:decision: . . . :angel:

 
End of the good night kiss

What happens in your bedroom when the lights go out? If new research is to be believed, the answer is not much.

80% of couples go to sleep without even a simple peck (and 90% don't even bother to say 'I love you')

'Inevitably, once the first flush of lust wears off, .....it is more likely that the need for a good night's sleep predominates, so sleeping back to back becomes a favourable position in bed'

Relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet

--------------------------------------------------------------------
How true ! ஆசை அறுபது நாள் மோஹம் முப்பது நாள்
------------------------------------------------------------------------
அடுத்த ஸ்டேஜ் செபரேட் பெட்தான் !

Nice to read this.

So 80% and 90% of people can not be abnormal!

After many years of marriage surely some fizz will fizzle of cos our hormones will hit plateau.

BTW many of us do not like say I love you in English...feels uneasy.

I prefer saying it in Malay "I Sayang You"!
 
BTW there is no such thing as matured love its just that people get old and no time for action waction!
 
The secret to lasting love

George Brown and Glynis Johnstone have been madly in love since 1977.

The Scottish couple got engaged 32-years-ago in 1980 and believe that if they had ever married they would have gone their separate ways by now.

Here is what they say:

'People keep asking me when I’m going to get married, but we must be doing something right as we’re still together.

'We’ve lasted much longer than most marriages, so it’s probably the fact we’ve not got done it that means we’re still here now.


I get the point here..sometimes when we elevate a person to the level of husband or wife..that's where all the trouble starts!LOL
 
I do not feel that true love (அன்பு, that is) will bloom within 30 or 60 days of marriage (I am talking about conventional, arranged marriages of our days and one which I have had.), even though the saying is ஆசை அறுபது நாள், மோஹம் முப்பது நாள். True love will blossom when a man and woman face life jointly, face the trials and joys, laugh and smile on the same occasion and for the same reasons, and finally reach that stage when one can confidently say what the other partner will think, say and/or act in a given situation. But to reach such a stage we have to put in long years of patient "bearing with the other" and a firm resolve that come rain or sunshine, may we both will live together.
 

Even in arranged weddings, the real affection will start within a few days. If there is mutual respect shown by the couple,

this affection will surely blossom into true love very soon - may be within a month. I strongly believe this. The long life together,

which follows will have many ups and downs but unless the true love blossoms within a month, the couple will never be happy!

P.S: I have written this earlier somewhere. But it is worth repeating. My father always used the word 'wedding' because, 'WE'

comes before 'I'. In the word 'marriage', 'MAR' appears first!!
icon3.png
 

Even in arranged weddings, the real affection will start within a few days. If there is mutual respect shown by the couple,

this affection will surely blossom into true love very soon - may be within a month. I strongly believe this. The long life together,

which follows will have many ups and downs but unless the true love blossoms within a month, the couple will never be happy!

P.S: I have written this earlier somewhere. But it is worth repeating. My father always used the word 'wedding' because, 'WE'

comes before 'I'. In the word 'marriage', 'MAR' appears first!!
icon3.png

The important word is respect.
If there is mutual respect shown by the couple,

I think respect is a better term than love, as generally some "desire" is lurking in word love.
 

Post #12:

I do not feel that
[COLOR=#DA7911 !important]true love[/COLOR] (அன்பு, that is) will bloom within 30 or 60 days of marriage (I am talking about conventional, arranged marriages of our days and one which I have had.), even though the saying is ஆசை அறுபது நாள், மோஹம் முப்பது நாள். True love will blossom when a [COLOR=#DA7911 !important]man and woman[/COLOR] face life jointly, face the trials and joys, laugh and smile on the same occasion and for the same reasons, and finally reach that stage when one can confidently say what the other partner will think, say and/or act in a given situation. But to reach such a stage we have to put in long years of patient "bearing with the other" and a firm resolve that come rain or sunshine, may we both will live together.


Whenever people discuss this topic this picture which is etched in my mind comes and haunts me:

It is about a couple. The husband's name is Pitchandi Iyer. The wife's name is Rangam. They had no children. They used to live a நாடோடி life moving from village to village where there were agraharams. Azhagiyapandiyapuram, Pillaiyarkulam, Chezhiyanallur, Piranchery, Gangaikondan etc were small agraharams on the banks of the river Chitra in the southern part of Tirunelveli District. I do not know which village they belonged to. They used to keep moving and never stayed for more than a week or ten days in any village. They lived out of whatever food and clothes were offered to them by the people of these agraharams. Among the two Rangam was a raving lunatic. When she was in one of her state of seizure, she would treat Pitchandy as her number one enemy. She would beat him, bite him, spit at him and call him all sorts of names. But pitchandy would never loose his cool. He used to treat Rangam like he would treat a difficult to manage child. He would take her to the river, bathe her, help her wear her saree, apply oil ( from the meager possessions they used to carry with them) to her hair and carefully make pleats and tie it with a ribbon all the time telling her a story to keep her attention in one place away from him. He never left her alone in the temple thinnai which was their temporary abode, even for a moment. I was very young at that time studying in my village school in the 4[SUP]th[/SUP] and 5[SUP]th[/SUP] standard. At that time Pitchandy or Rangam did not make any great impression in me. Rangam was just a lunatic and poor Pitchandy was her husband. That is all. But we left the village and I lost touch with this couple for a very long time. Now they may not be alive. But whenever I think about the unfortunate couple I wonder what is it that kept the marriage going for them. May be Rangam’s life was a miserable one and God said “Pitchandy” and it was all light for her—in her warped mind. It is a picture in my memory which disturbs me even today so many years later. We do not understand many things. This is perhaps one among them.

Cheers.
 
Yes Raju sir,
We have our memories of people in such dispair, but to an extent the commitment they had for each other.
 

Post #12:



Whenever people discuss this topic this picture which is etched in my mind comes and haunts me:

It is about a couple. The husband's name is Pitchandi Iyer. The wife's name is Rangam. They had no children. They used to live a நாடோடி life moving from village to village where there were agraharams. Azhagiyapandiyapuram, Pillaiyarkulam, Chezhiyanallur, Piranchery, Gangaikondan etc were small agraharams on the banks of the river Chitra in the southern part of Tirunelveli District. I do not know which village they belonged to. They used to keep moving and never stayed for more than a week or ten days in any village. They lived out of whatever food and clothes were offered to them by the people of these agraharams. Among the two Rangam was a raving lunatic. When she was in one of her state of seizure, she would treat Pitchandy as her number one enemy. She would beat him, bite him, spit at him and call him all sorts of names. But pitchandy would never loose his cool. He used to treat Rangam like he would treat a difficult to manage child. He would take her to the river, bathe her, help her wear her saree, apply oil ( from the meager possessions they used to carry with them) to her hair and carefully make pleats and tie it with a ribbon all the time telling her a story to keep her attention in one place away from him. He never left her alone in the temple thinnai which was their temporary abode, even for a moment. I was very young at that time studying in my village school in the 4[SUP]th[/SUP] and 5[SUP]th[/SUP] standard. At that time Pitchandy or Rangam did not make any great impression in me. Rangam was just a lunatic and poor Pitchandy was her husband. That is all. But we left the village and I lost touch with this couple for a very long time. Now they may not be alive. But whenever I think about the unfortunate couple I wonder what is it that kept the marriage going for them. May be Rangam’s life was a miserable one and God said “Pitchandy” and it was all light for her—in her warped mind. It is a picture in my memory which disturbs me even today so many years later. We do not understand many things. This is perhaps one among them.

Cheers.
hi
i agreed with u ..they had some kind of each other....they understand each other..even though miserable life.....i had another

story...an iyer married to girl in the banks of cauvery in thanjavur distt....they had 3 girls and 1 boy...after first delivery she started

behave like hysteria....she never give respect to him...still he loves her....i dont know why?....she mistreated her own children....

still he loves her....its really a mystery for me...after 2 decades...i still remember this poor guy....he is a tamil nadu govt

servant...he would have marry a some other girl....but still he lives with her....this is called of kind of real anbu even in the

adversaries...even today they live or not..im not sure....the husband never got happiness....the children never got

motherly affections...but life still goes on....
 
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#17 and #19

These 2 stories are indeed heart-wrenching. Yet, the question remains: when the husbands could easily have walked out, they did not. What prevented them? A belief in karma? That they were undergoing punishment for misdeeds in a previous birth?
 
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#17 and #19

These 2 stories are indeed heart-wrenching. Yet, the question remains: when the husbands could easily have walked out, they did not. What prevented them? A belief in karma? That they were undergoing punishment for misdeeds in a previous birth?

That is not necessarily true.
I see similar instances here in USA too.
They do not believe in karma, or rebirth but they keep their commitment.
 
That is not necessarily true.
I see similar instances here in USA too.
They do not believe in karma, or rebirth but they keep their commitment.

Commitment? That is just a convenient catch-phrase. What is the motivating factor or the driving force behind such actions?
 
[video=youtube;mPvxqTH0RlU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=mPvxqTH0RlU[/video]
Commitment? That is just a convenient catch-phrase. What is the motivating factor or the driving force behind such actions?

”It takes a deep commitment to change and an even deeper commitment to grow." --Ralph Ellison


Promises mean a lot to people because they suggest appreciation, value and empathy and carry some pleasure in fulfillment. The effect of broken promises is resentment, undue anxiety, missed opportunities and a lack of trust in future promises for one party, and a chain of guilt and feelings of incapacity and inadequacy for the other. Furthermore, a promise prevents alternative action being taken which means everyone loses out all round.

...
If you value someone's friendship, or truly respect them, or you value your customers, don't make promises you can't keep because it could have an impact on them that even you are unable to foresee!


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/456238


Commitment = promise.

I try to keep my promise in all circumstances social, as well as in business.
To me a person who can not keep their promise is worthless. A lot of people believe that to be true.
 
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......... I think respect is a better term than love, as generally some "desire" is lurking in word love.
Love towards elders is the respect shown to them + desire to seek their blessings.

Love towards friends is to respect their wishes + desire to help them in distress.

Love towards children is the unconditional affection + desire to give utmost care to them. :hug:

Love towards the life partner is to respect his / her talents + desire to get appreciation and concern!

Love = respect + desire!

But, the way we love varies from person to person!
icon3.png
 
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