Golden Rules for aging Gracefully

[P.J.]

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The ten points are absolutely useful. Well written.

I would like to add one more. Please write and register (if needed) your WILL much before you leave this world. Then you ensure peace in the family even after you leave.

You are absolutely right Sri L. Ramakrishnan Sir

Apart from writing the will, registering it is also important.

Also to write all information like Bank account details, Locker key where it is kept, Gas connection papers, how the sarees and dresses are to be disposed off , eye donation matter, and any such important matters can be put into a Drop Box Facility (https://www.dropbox.com/) and let your children know the password for reading it so that, they need not search all Almerahs, Suitcases to know more about house matter.

 

[Raji Ram]

In a few families, the WILL becomes the VILLAIN.

 

[krish44]

most think they should settle everything before they croak.

a very false idea.

leave some mess for the net generation.

it will make their life interesting and make them remember you for more time.lol

 

[krish44]

In a few families, the WILL becomes the VILLAIN.

most times Wills are not objective and are biased documents.

better leave with nothing except memories for next generation.

live well instead. It is your right.

if you have left some wealth behind ,it shows bad spending habits

 

[renuka]

Dear RR ji,

I got my will made some years back.
All details of bank accounts etc are in a file that I have 1 copy..and my parents have a copy too.

One more important thing is when we age..to have a funeral planning instructions.

I see people run around the very moment asking people what to do and its not organized.

I see people also running to photo studio to get some small pic or old pic enlarged.

I feel everyone should take a nice pic and keep it ready just in case..so that it saves the trouble of running around.

 

[krish44]

when music director R D Burman died, his wife Asha bhosle opened his bank locker to find only a few

coins.lol

that is fond remembrance of wife

 

[renuka]

most times Wills are not objective and are biased documents.

better leave with nothing except memories for next generation.

live well instead. It is your right.

if you have left some wealth behind ,it shows bad spending habits

dear Krish ji,

Surely there will be something left behind like houses,shop lots,money,gold etc..further more none of us know when we will die..we might die when we are still in possession of property/money etc.

 

[krish44]

Dear RR ji,

I got my will made some years back.
All details of bank accounts etc are in a file that I have 1 copy..and my parents have a copy too.

One more important thing is when we age..to have a funeral planning instructions.

I see people run around the very moment asking people what to do and its not organized.

I see people also running to photo studio to get some small pic or old pic enlarged.

I feel everyone should take a nice pic and keep it ready just in case..so that it saves the trouble of running around.

I like keeping ready the photo bit.

most children would periodically click you praying this is the day and you will disappoint them

every time.

I also think that people who get funeral instructions die before the person who gives them.

best have joint accounts either or survivor , no hastles.better take loan on them and blow up

nothing stupid like deciding what is to be done after one dies.

I have no will .

no intention to have one. why create conflicts favouring one or the other?

 

[krish44]

dear Krish ji,

Surely there will be something left behind like houses,shop lots,money,gold etc..further more none of us know when we will die..we might die when we are still in possession of property/money etc.

dear renukaji

why do you have all these attachments.

directly give away when you are alive to intended beneficiaries with a small bit to last upto end of

your life.

life is meant for both earning and giving away and not for hoarding wealth. enjoy what you have reserved for

yourself and wipe the slate clean before death.

no one should shed false tears for you or pray for your death to get money or property.lol

 

[renuka]

no intention to have one. why create conflicts favouring one or the other?

For me its simple I only have 1 child and 1 husband..so easy to write a will.

 

[kiruku]

most times Wills are not objective and are biased documents.
....

if you have left some wealth behind ,it shows bad spending habits

How about leaving a will that is not biased?? (Many parents have a bias towards one or some of their children.)
also, leaving something significant and valuable will be appreciated.

one should try to avoid playing games from the grave.

 

[L. Ramakrishnan]

Very interesting discussion ! My wife and I live "alone". In order to help each other in emergencies, we have posted a SOP (in terms of bullet points) on our Cork Board, as to what to do in case of emergency, whom to call, e.g. hospital, children, where to look for documents, e.g. Insurance card, hospital registration card etc. The information includes telephone numbers of Family Doctor, Sastrigal (in case one breathes his/her last) and neighbours. These are required as it will be at least a few hours before help / children arrive.

As for the WILL, I (as the Chairman of our Coop. Hsg. Soc) have just faced a problem. A member expired without leaving a will or a nomination registered with the Hsg. Soc. The Society almost decided to transfer the shares to his "wife" (who is also an associate member). Before we could do it, we got a notice that the property has to be transferred to the "wife" of the deceased member, from someone else. Now the whole process is in the court and you know pretty well the time taken to resolve this issue.

 

[krish44]

How about leaving a will that is not biased?? (Many parents have a bias towards one or some of their children.)
also, leaving something significant and valuable will be appreciated.

one should try to avoid playing games from the grave.

I would love to be a ghost and haunt some in this forum.

mostly son in laws and daughter in laws enjoy the booty left behind

nothing would give them greater pleasure .

If you like I can leave some debts so that the next generation will remember me for years

 

[P.J.]

I would love to be a ghost and haunt some in this forum.

Very Good Krish Ji

You know whom you should haunt!!! I need not tell you.. the SHE DEVIL in this Forum!!

 

[kiruku]

mostly son in laws and daughter in laws enjoy the booty left behind


If you like I can leave some debts so that the next generation will remember me for years

You can set up a discretionary / family trust ( how to control things from your grave) and nominate the beneficiaries?

Sir, i am sure your daughter/son in-laws will never forget you (or lose an opportunity to remember you at the appropriate times) - your children and grand children may!

do the debts automatically get passed on to the next gen in India? What about individual bankruptcy?

 

[krish44]

kirukuji
you appear to be most knowledgable and wise in this forum

this concept of trust has always interested me

shall actively consider it if I happen to make more money.

coming to think of it SILs orDILs are also humans and deserve part of the booty for having got into

my family.

none of my next generation have behaved badly enough to leave something directly to grand

children.

one generation is good enough for me to take care off.

balance can befor some good causes.God if he exists will put me in priority queue for heavan and

change his opinion to send me to hell.lol

 

[renuka]

Very Good Krish Ji

You know whom you should haunt!!! I need not tell you.. the SHE DEVIL in this Forum!!

Dear Krish ji,

Before haunting the She-Devil make sure you inform her PA..Mr PK Sir!LOL

 

[rishikesan]

I have read 10 commandments. It tells the reality of life. However, I would like to add , in practical life , when we live on day-to- day basis. Take the case of Men & women crossed 70 years. These old couple I assume live with their son & daughter in-law , including one or Two grand children living to-gether. The role of the couple should be that both should devote time to the rest by way of offering support to whatever they do, with out offering any Advice on any matter , unless specifically asked for . The couple should ensure fitness at all costs to ensure not falling sick , because of wrong doings , which could cause the upset of routine work of others.
For this The male ,can perform some easy exercise for 20 minutes including Pranayamam, which has proven to keep your lungs fit ,including some Aerobics , suiting the individual, will ensure agility for whole day. You can continue assistance to others by way of filling the Gap , meaning ANY left-over tasks by the Son / his wife & also the children till you go to bed.
Your wife can join some Yoga classes which gives , not only mental but some physical exercises to keep her fit. She would also be able to have useful Gossip with her Co- yoga women,.This will ensure good atmosphere at home , not only with her husband, but also with every body else .
One golden rule for the aged couple is this :- If there is any difference of opinion, never take pride in winning, You get defeated ? That will be your success to lead a peaceful life with one & all ,esp. the youngsters.
This way your peace of mind will not be disturbed & your Closeness with the Old lady will feel good all the time

Rishikesan ( A. Srinivasan ).