Dear Sri. Ravi, Greetings.
I refer to your message in post #60. I do not think your message is off topic; it is very well in sync with the topic. To a certain extend, you are exploring ideas in social skil development. In my opinion, there is no need for you apologise. If you choose not to reply further, it is perfectly all right. I appreciate your kindness to inform that before hand.
I request you to kindly look at my message in post #51. I am neither claiming any success not expressing any pain. I just wrote the simple jist of my life as I see it and as it happened.
My point was just to show, success and failures are only subjective feelings. Anybody watched me during my childhood and teen years would have considered me as an incapable person ( to certain extend even as a cowardly person). I was not a role model for success. But things happened... continue to happen.
Since you sought my insight, this is my insight - Even when we don't know about our life to the full extend, we should not let others pass judgement about our success or failures. Real success or real failure lies in our mind. It is only measured by the amount of satisfaction and the amount of happiness and laughter we share with others.... never measured by money/status/career success/catching a great looking or wealthy spouse etc. One serve of 'thayir sadam' we eat in peace at home is 1,000 times more tastier than a buffet in a 5 star hotel given by someone else for a show-off.
I will never judge a person as incompetent if that person is trying to acheive something. Sometimes it takes longer to taste the success... but usually would happen one day if we keep trying. Everyone's life is unique. Our goals are not the same. Ravi, what is life? We came with nothing; we 'earned and gathered' so many things..... which are not really ours! when the time comes, we have to leave everything behind anyway. So, why should we judge someone?
Sometimes people do feel cheated not so much by their spouse but by their children. I guess we may have to analyse case by case... but in general, such feeling may have some justification in many cases. Let me explain, please... In most cases, parents support, encourage and contribute for their children's success.. sometimes parents go for 25 to 30 years of hardship for their children... I know of cases where they even spend their provident fund for educating their children... When such parents stand tired after spending their prime years, savings, all the money they had, they are in ned of support.. if the children take off leaving them high and dry, that would be heart breaking. If such parents feel cheated, I think they have a point.
I wrote in my message I don't expect anything from my children..... that was not due to my broad mindedness though! I still have few years under my belt and I am confident to make enough to retire without expecting any help. That's all. Secondly, I live in a country where I do get a pension ( irrespective to whether I worked in private sector or public sector). Such facility is not available in India. So, parents after spending their prime years are right to look towards their children for support.
I sincerely hope I addressed your question.
I did not fall in either of the category highlighted by you. So, I did not go through that portion of your message.
There was a reason to write my message when I wrote it. I don't believe in 'poorva janma karma' is beside the point. Even those who believe in 'poorva janma karma' can not say whether a person is suffering or leading a happy life because happiness is a subjective term. So, we can't really say a person is reaping the reward or paying the penalty in his/her life. ( Let me provide an example... when I was young, like 11 or 12 years old, sometimes I would be asked to go to our small farm to do some chores there... other kids would be enjoying their time, playing... I would be going to the farm. Now, one may see this as an unhappy situation, considering I can't play with other kids... other side of the coin is, I possibly would be breaking a pole of sugarcane from the farm and eating that after completing the chore! or it could be fresh peanuts.... if I am really lucky, it could be sugacane juice & fresh made jaggery!... you figure it!).
Cheers!
out:
