Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006 : Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006 : A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
walked into the Branch and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a
few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an
automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and
a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
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Number Five Idiot of 2006 : A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk.The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his loot.The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
hours later.
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Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. (probab ly Weyauwega , Wisconsin ) We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS .
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
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IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the
company due to" downsizing." Our manager comm ented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- headlights
stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers
side door. As I w atched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced
to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton , Mississippi !
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STAY ALERT!
They walk among us ..
and they REPRODUCE ...!!!
on't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother.[/FONT]
