Inter caste marriage - problems

[renuka]

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Just a general opinion...if just say a particular custom is not followed...does that spell doom and end of the world?

Is our human life that fragile that it should only revolve around tradition?

I am not finding fault with any specific community tradition here and do not want some members to start blaming me that I am anti TB tradition here. I very well know its a TB forum and would like some amount of less emotional responses.Going on lines of logic is always civil.

As a Hindu myself....I do not follow most tradition nor do I celebrate festivals cos I feel as human I have a mind to decide how I want my life to be and as long I do not harm anyone or myself that should be good enough cos life is more about finer thinking and finer actions that translate inwardly and outwardly for betterment of self and society.

But why does it seem that most people of which ever religion are more concerned about tradition and customs more than focusing on acute problems faced by the world today?

 

[renuka]

Marriage has become a convenience rather than a sacred ritual. It is not bad to look for money.But money should not be the prime motive for marriage.Why we have to preserve the tradition is if this world destroyed by nuclear bomb, the only option is to do Yaga and Yanghya to revive this earth to original condition. Because of inter caste, inter religious, intercontinental marriages, we slowly forget to preserve our old tradition. Manthram is not like science. It requires purity and selfless purpose to work out. Therefore if not immediately on a later time, it will definitely have serious repercussions. But if I say all these, nobody is going to support me. In Gita, Krishna is telling about how rain is made because of Yaga and Yanghya. Anyway, I wish all prosperity to the married couple. Several times, I felt that if I had been in my birth village, I would have been more peaceful without being exposed to outside world which has become rotten including myself because of a lot of constraints to follow our ancient tradition. I am not able to follow even what my father followed. My father never followed like his Grant father. Even I am not able to get all the better knowledge from my father in law because my scientific ego makes me think traditions are foolish.But in the longer term , looking for deeper cause and if you look at the root of every problem, adjustability and compromise with our principles is the key for al disasters.

Dear SS,

I am slightly confused reading your post..one part of you yearns tradition and a sense of regret but the other part of you feels your scientific inclination makes you think tradition is not within the scope of logic.

Why the divided reaction here...what is stopping you from being what you really want?

Why think that your father did not follow all traditions like your Grandad..but you can decide to start following if you wish so.

ā no bhadrāḥ kratavo kṣyantu viśvato adabdhāso aparītāsa udbhidaḥ |
devā no yathā sadamid vṛdhe asanaprāyuvo rakṣitāro dive-dive ||


May auspicious knowledge come to us from all sides, which harm no one; are unimpeded and victorious over the forces of division |
May the gods be always for our increase, never moving away from us, but always guarding us day-to-day ||

The above shloka is self explanatory in the quest for knowledge...provided there is effort and not regret.

 

[vgane]

Nobody other than Tamilians use 9-yard sari either. Customs change, we have to adapt or lose family members.

That is incorrect...Olakacche worn by Smarthas/Madhwa Brahmins in Karnataka, Nauvari by Maharashtrian Brahmins are all variants of the TB kosavam (Madisar)

 

[Raji Ram]

Just a thought!

We are in a world, where the parents will be happy if their son marries a woman and the daughter marries a man!

Some members might think more 'modern' --- Why not we support a gay or lesbian marriage also?? :lol:

BTW, one of members posted a funny short film (with Revathy Sankaran as the mom), in which the parents

discuss with the family about the wish of their son to go in for a gay marriage!

 

[Vaagmi]

Just a general opinion...if just say a particular custom is not followed...does that spell doom and end of the world?

Is our human life that fragile that it should only revolve around tradition?

I am not finding fault with any specific community tradition here and do not want some members to start blaming me that I am anti TB tradition here. I very well know its a TB forum and would like some amount of less emotional responses.Going on lines of logic is always civil.

As a Hindu myself....I do not follow most tradition nor do I celebrate festivals cos I feel as human I have a mind to decide how I want my life to be and as long I do not harm anyone or myself that should be good enough cos life is more about finer thinking and finer actions that translate inwardly and outwardly for betterment of self and society.

But why does it seem that most people of which ever religion are more concerned about tradition and customs more than focusing on acute problems faced by the world today?

Renukaji,

You have not factored in the history of our evolution into your understanding and that is the reason why you you keep wondering.

Man is a social animal. If a man remains in his house, not moving out, not interacting with his neighbours, not bothering about whatever is happening in his neighbourhood or the country, just keeping himself aloof then there is no need or urge for him to celebrate any festival. He can live his life as he wants. He need not even wear anything in his home because it is the ultimate freedom for him. His emotional responses will be restricted to his close relatives living with him alone. It will not extend beyond the four walls of his house. He can claim he is a good human being, who never interferes with others' affairs, who is never in conflict with others, who is never a load on others, he is a finer thinking individual who keeps to himself rather than imposing himself on others, he does not harm any one or himself etc.,

But It is not the case with most of the human beings because they are not wired that way.

Human beings are social animals. They are not lone wolves. The interdependence is complex and complete. So assembling to celebrate, meeting to share happiness and sorrow, working together to reach a common goal and sharing the benefits in the process, loving and be loved demonstratively, competing and excelling and celebrating that achievement by thumping the chest or sending the kisses through empty space, these are all natural to human beings. These over a long period become customs.

If there are no customs there would be no celebrations, no identification of the self with a group, no shared responsibility or duty, no security and the confidence that flows from that etc., A national flag would just become another piece of tattered cloth fluttering meaninglessly in the air at the edge of a long pole. Thus Diwali, Pongal, Pooja, Christmas etc., becomes time for celebrations and a custom is formed around such celebrations. Showing an open palm (saluting) was the ultimate sign of surrender in the western culture and we still do that to the National Flag on special occassions. It is a custom. we celebrate Pongal and Onam as they are times for celebrating the natures bounty and thanks giving to it. Customs are formed around such meaningful practices adopted by the human race over centuries.

So I would prefer to be a celebrating, chest thumping, laughing, participating, a soldiering, a politicking ordinary simple member of the world community than being a moron sitting quietly all to myself. This is partly because of my own choice and because of the culture of which I am a creature.

 

[alva183]

Who is a real brahmin. Any guess!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[renuka]

Renukaji,

You have not factored in the history of our evolution into your understanding and that is the reason why you you keep wondering.

Man is a social animal. If a man remains in his house, not moving out, not interacting with his neighbours, not bothering about whatever is happening in his neighbourhood or the country, just keeping himself aloof then there is no need or urge for him to celebrate any festival. He can live his life as he wants. He need not even wear anything in his home because it is the ultimate freedom for him. His emotional responses will be restricted to his close relatives living with him alone. It will not extend beyond the four walls of his house. He can claim he is a good human being, who never interferes with others' affairs, who is never in conflict with others, who is never a load on others, he is a finer thinking individual who keeps to himself rather than imposing himself on others, he does not harm any one or himself etc.,

But It is not the case with most of the human beings because they are not wired that way.

Human beings are social animals. They are not lone wolves. The interdependence is complex and complete. So assembling to celebrate, meeting to share happiness and sorrow, working together to reach a common goal and sharing the benefits in the process, loving and be loved demonstratively, competing and excelling and celebrating that achievement by thumping the chest or sending the kisses through empty space, these are all natural to human beings. These over a long period become customs.

If there are no customs there would be no celebrations, no identification of the self with a group, no shared responsibility or duty, no security and the confidence that flows from that etc., A national flag would just become another piece of tattered cloth fluttering meaninglessly in the air at the edge of a long pole. Thus Diwali, Pongal, Pooja, Christmas etc., becomes time for celebrations and a custom is formed around such celebrations. Showing an open palm (saluting) was the ultimate sign of surrender in the western culture and we still do that to the National Flag on special occassions. It is a custom. we celebrate Pongal and Onam as they are times for celebrating the natures bounty and thanks giving to it. Customs are formed around such meaningful practices adopted by the human race over centuries.

So I would prefer to be a celebrating, chest thumping, laughing, participating, a soldiering, a politicking ordinary simple member of the world community than being a moron sitting quietly all to myself. This is partly because of my own choice and because of the culture of which I am a creature.

LOL!


May be I am a lone werewolf who only goes out on a hunt during full moon days!

 

[krish44]

when is the next full moon.?

 

[renuka]

when is the next full moon.?

 

[krish44]

Very nice .thanks.

 

[prasad1]

Customs are regional, and customs change from time to time. There is no universal customs etched in stone.

A human grouping created their own tradition. What is important to one may not be so important to others.
So NO ONE is an authority on prevailing customs, that must be followed by others.
In difference to elders of the family we follow certain practice, but that not make it sacrosanct.

 

[prasad1]

That is incorrect...Olakacche worn by Smarthas/Madhwa Brahmins in Karnataka, Nauvari by Maharashtrian Brahmins are all variants of the TB kosavam (Madisar)

Oh sorry, I have a 9 yard sari used as a wall covering, my point was the second part of the statement. I am sure an intelligent man like you understood that.

 

[krish44]

Prasadji
Advise me instead on wallpaper for drawing room.

First time I am hearing of 9 yards sari option for walls

What on earth made you opt for it for wall covering?

I have heard of people using unstitched blouse pieces as window covering.

Where can I get good wall paper for drawing room.?

The prices range from thousand plus per roll to 15K .all look alike.

 

[Raji Ram]

Unused 9 yards saree has a new usage and saves money spent on a wall paper!
Let us :welcome:the idea!

 

[prasad1]

Prasadji
Advise me instead on wallpaper for drawing room.

First time I am hearing of 9 yards sari option for walls

What on earth made you opt for it for wall covering?

I have heard of people using unstitched blouse pieces as window covering.

Where can I get good wall paper for drawing room.?

The prices range from thousand plus per roll to 15K .all look alike.

I have to oblige my friend, here is a link.

http://www.urbanwallcovering.com/product-p/elitis-sari-vp-895-21.htm
https://www.google.com/search?q=sar...hUKEwivzb3LjrfPAhVLNz4KHbtCA48QsAQIIw&dpr=1.5

This one is the simplest. Just spread an embroidered Sari on the dinner table when you have guests over to give it a fancy makeover.

http://www.idiva.com/news-work-life/15-creative-ways-to-reuse-vintage-saris-for-home-decor/15051380

 

[Raji Ram]

Synthetic printed sarees are fresh even after many years of use. Some presented on special occasions

have sentimental value too. So, I stitch quilts and bed covers with them. :thumb:

 

[tbs]

Unused 9 yards saree has a new usage and saves money spent on a wall paper!
Let us :welcome:the idea!

hi

idea amma kannu knows new ideas....lol

 

[krish44]

I have to oblige my friend, here is a link.

http://www.urbanwallcovering.com/product-p/elitis-sari-vp-895-21.htm
https://www.google.com/search?q=sar...hUKEwivzb3LjrfPAhVLNz4KHbtCA48QsAQIIw&dpr=1.5

This one is the simplest. Just spread an embroidered Sari on the dinner table when you have guests over to give it a fancy makeover.

http://www.idiva.com/news-work-life/15-creative-ways-to-reuse-vintage-saris-for-home-decor/15051380

Many thanks prasadji

Let me see what I can do with these.

I will feed it to an interior decorator as input for a makeover.