jokes/humour

[psnarasimhan]

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Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the goat give you?"
Student: "mutton"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

[psnarasimhan]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

 

[psnarasimhan]

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of Rs.125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

 

[psnarasimhan]

Mr. and Mrs. Joker had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

 

[psnarasimhan]

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."

 

[psnarasimhan]

Teacher: "What is the chemical formula for water?"
Student: "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "What are you talking about?"
Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

 

[psnarasimhan]

Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.":clap2:

 

[psnarasimhan]

10 Facts About You:
1. You're reading this now.
2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3.
5. You're checking now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid.
9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8.
10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again.
11. You're enjoying this.
12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.

 

[psnarasimhan]

Two mental patients were walking next to a swimming pool. One jumped into the pool and the other jumped in to save him. Their doctor saw the rescue and called the rescuer to his office. "Due to your actions, it appears your mental state is fine," the doctor said to the patient, "You can go home to your family, but before you do, you should know that the person you saved hung himself today." The patient replied, "He didn't hang himself; I hung him there to dry."hone:

 

[psnarasimhan]

Q: Why did that lady put water on her computer?
A: To wash the Windows.:behindsofa:

 

[KR SUBRAHMANYAM]

Very nice. Hope she might have used washing powder too!

 

[KR SUBRAHMANYAM]

Now the patient has to remain in the hospital for some more time. He can't go to be with his family. Poor chap!

 

[sivaramtss]

nice to read..

 

[KR SUBRAHMANYAM]

Thank God! Both could dream buying a diamond ring.

 

[psnarasimhan]

Very nice. Hope she might have used washing powder too!

Thanks

 

[psnarasimhan]

Thank God! Both could dream buying a diamond ring.

Thanks. But who will pay for that?

 

[JR]

Very nice jokes, Sir!