Logic/criteria - guidence

[kr subramanian]

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DEAR FRIENDS, i AM A PERSON GOING TO TEMPLE TWICE A DAY AND WHEN i MISS ANY DAY I FEEL THAT I HAVEMISSED SOMETHING. LAST WEEK IT SO HAPPED THAT ONE OF MY FATHERS ELDER BROTHER AGED 98EXPIRED. IT WAS YEARS BACK I MET HIM IN PERSON AND WE DID NOT HAVE ANY COMMUNICATION FOR PAST MANY YEARS. ALSO HE WAS STAYING SOME 1000KMS AWAY FROM MY PLACE , I WAS INFORMED BY ELDERS THAT I SHOULD NOT GO TO TEMPLE FOR MINUMUM 13 DAYS AND AFTER THE RITUALS DONE AT A PLACE 1000KMS AWAY ONLY CAN I GO TO TEMPLE. DEAR FRINEDS. KINDLY EXPLAIN THE REASON BEHIND THE SAME. AWAITING YOUR REASONS

 

[kr subramanian]

DEAR FRIENDS, i AM A PERSON GOING TO TEMPLE TWICE A DAY AND WHEN i MISS ANY DAY I FEEL THAT I HAVEMISSED SOMETHING. LAST WEEK IT SO HAPPED THAT MY FATHERS ELDER BROTHER AGED 98 EXPIRED. IT WAS YEARS [COLOR=#da7911 !important][COLOR=#da7911 !important]BACK[/COLOR][/COLOR] I MET HIM IN PERSON AND WE DID NOT HAVE ANY COMMUNICATION FOR PAST MANY YEARS. ALSO HE WAS STAYING SOME 1000KMS AWAY FROM MY PLACE , I WAS INFORMED BY ELDERS THAT I SHOULD NOT GO TO TEMPLE FOR MINUMUM 13 DAYS AND AFTER THE RITUALS DONE AT A PLACE 1000KMS AWAY ONLY CAN I GO TO TEMPLE. DEAR FRINEDS. KINDLY EXPLAIN THE REASON BEHIND THE SAME. AWAITING YOUR REASONS SORRY IN THE FIRST LETTER ONE OF CAME IN A WRONG PLACE GIVING A BAD MEANING . PLEASE IGNORE THE SAME

 

[v arun kumar]

well, i am sure there will be other great knowledgeable people how will give you the reasoning for the same

but if you are a believer of the rituals (most of them we do follow blindly), this is one more of them,

so there u are.

One possible reason i can guess, is in case of death in the family in the olden days, mainly due to epidemics etc, people mingling in common areas like temples, which is essentialy a communal gathering place, one could carry the infections around. hence it was a attempt to isolate the family in which there has been a death.

I can think of no other reasons, for all the theetu and stuff.

 

[tks]

It is not clear to me from your post what kind of explanation you are looking for.

There are unverifiable belief system as to what is death and what happens afterwards etc. Every religion has its own models.

Hindu models can be understood from Garuda Purana ( you can Google for this term) which has very captivating stories. Death related rituals and their significance may have been discussed in this forum I think. They are also explained in many books which are readily available. Based on those discussions you may be able to draw your own conclusions about why someone may not go to a temple for 13 days given that there are 13 day rituals in many households following death.

Let me give another possible reason.

Death is a natural phenomena but many people find it difficult to accept the loss of someone close. The genius of our rituals with their associated models in my view is that they allow one to have a planned mourning period to reach an internal acceptance of the event . Without acceptance it is hard to move ahead with life. During the planned mourning period it is important to free mourners from being distracted (or even feeling guilty) from daily rituals.

If the reason you want to go to a temple daily is to find an inner source of peace (not sure if that is possible these days in many of the overcrowded and under-maintained temples) then it may not be possible while feeling the loss of a near and dear.

Once the death has been accepted emotionally through the ritualistic mourning period it is possible to face the challenges of daily life. Visiting a temple and other rituals may be more meaningful and useful then.

 

[prasad1]

I am sorry for your loss.
We miss Mr. Sangom's wisdom.
My pov is Hinduism allows you absolute freedom. It is the family and society that imposes restrictions. The customs varies from family, region, and your location.
If going to any temple satisfies you, then you can get out of family;s reach and visit temple. In some parts of North India they do not have these practices.

You should follow the customs of your temple, and your family so it does not upset them.
Mr. TKS gave you good advice.
You also should know why you are driven to go to Temple. There is a thread on going to Temple, you should visit that.
All the best.

 

[sarang]

You can either follow your family's custom (if you believe in them) or the customs followed by the temple. Many temples close, if there is a death in the area near the temple. When I visited pillayarpatti after much planning, the temple was closed for darshan for this reason. In the temple town of srirangam, even the 'ther' will halt wherever it is if there is a death in the route ahead.

The temple administration or the priests may guide you.

 

[saarangam]

Whatever be the logic (if any) in not going to a temple for 13 days, it is a social custom.
In the event of the death of a relative a person is expected to observe ASoucam or theettu for a certain number of days and not to go to temples for 13 days.In a Tambram
family only sandhyavandanam is permitted ( and it is a must ) during the mourning period.As a social being one has to follow the customs prevailing in the society even if there is no rationale behind them.

 

[Raji Ram]

The first thirteen days after the death of a person is the mourning period for the family. Even if it happens to be a 'kalyANa'

death of a very super senior, it is time for the close family to pray for the departed soul to rest in peace. The usual visits to the

temples could be avoided as a mark of respect, if not for any other reason. After the 'subha sweekAram', the family members

visit the nearby temple, wearing new clothes.

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Post # 6: Shri Sarang Sir: Yes in few places - villages/towns which have come up around temples - the temple authorities do not open the "Dwars" until the dead is carried to the cremation site. But I have found in Sindhis with whom we had been living, the dead body is carried right into the temple and placed on the Shiva Linga and then carried to cremation site. Different places/people, different customs. Respect what your mind tells and also the local custom.

 

[sarma-61]

DEAR FRIENDS, i AM A PERSON GOING TO TEMPLE TWICE A DAY AND WHEN i MISS ANY DAY I FEEL THAT I HAVEMISSED SOMETHING. LAST WEEK IT SO HAPPED THAT ONE OF MY FATHERS ELDER BROTHER AGED 98EXPIRED. IT WAS YEARS BACK I MET HIM IN PERSON AND WE DID NOT HAVE ANY COMMUNICATION FOR PAST MANY YEARS. ALSO HE WAS STAYING SOME 1000KMS AWAY FROM MY PLACE , I WAS INFORMED BY ELDERS THAT I SHOULD NOT GO TO TEMPLE FOR MINUMUM 13 DAYS AND AFTER THE RITUALS DONE AT A PLACE 1000KMS AWAY ONLY CAN I GO TO TEMPLE. DEAR FRINEDS. KINDLY EXPLAIN THE REASON BEHIND THE SAME. AWAITING YOUR REASONS

Shri subramanian sir,

You will agree that none of us (in fact, no man or woman) has come back after death to tell 'the other side of death'. So, we have to go by beliefs only; no other way.

According to our belief, the soul (whatever it may be, because no one has ever told us clearly what it is) takes the form of a "prEtam" and so the rites on all the ten days of death are for this prEta. On the eleventh day by means of a special rite the prEtatva is (once again) believed to be got rid of (prEtatva vimOcanArtham) and on the twelfth day the soul is notionally made to mingle with the pitrus or manes.

prEta is considered to be an impure entity, being controlled by all the six deficiencies latent in the dead personality (kAma, krOdha, lObha, mOha, etc.) and it is supposed to be roaming about in all the usual haunts to which its aforesid tendencies will take it; but places like temples, pilgrimage centres, etc., are out of bounds for the souls of ordinary humans. (A separate category called "brahmarakShas" is capable of even residing in temple idols and diminish the divinity of temple idol so afflicted, but that is a subject needing a separate treatment.)

It is therefore believed by brahmins ( as also many NB hindus) that for 12 days from the death of one's parents, and paternal relatives, there is "pollution" or aSuddham and one should not desecrate a common place of worship for all people by entering the temple during those days.

We people will not feel any symptoms of impurity during such periods. Hence, whether one follows these prohibitions or not, will depend upon how far one values public opinion. There are still some places in India where the public can get really agitated and then it will become a sure problem to convince them that one's "habit" counts more than social sentiment

 

[zebra16]

Shri subramanian sir,



(A separate category called "brahmarakShas" is capable of even residing in temple idols and diminish the divinity of temple idol so afflicted, but that is a subject needing a separate treatment.)

Please do tell me/us more about "brahmarakShas"

Regards,

 

[prasad1]

Mr. Sarma,
I agree with your following statement:

We people will not feel any symptoms of impurity during such periods. Hence, whether one follows these prohibitions or not, will depend upon how far one values public opinion. There are still some places in India where the public can get really agitated and then it will become a sure problem to convince them that one's "habit" counts more than social sentiment

 

[Iyyarooraan]

Leaving the shastraic dicta aside, is it not great if the body is handed to medical colleges/hospitals for studies/research? Parsis bodies are thrown into open ground, here known as "Tower of Silence", for birds/vultures to feed on. They mean to be useful at least after death.

 

[kr subramanian]

dear brothers,
thank you for your sharing knowledge and guiding me. My question (pardon if I am wrong) is when a person even if he is very closely related but have not been in speaking terms or have not met life long do have effect for 13 days. Here one more point rises in my mind? For my sister (who got married)with whom also the dead person had same blood relationship will have only 3 days mourning whereas it is 13 for me? I do not think Once she is married means her relation with the close relative is broken.