• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Mangala Sutra/Thali Kodi in Marriage

Status
Not open for further replies.
Raji Ram said:
Dear Krish Sir,

I burst into laughter reading your post about the dress of your Iyer sambandhis, during your son's wedding.

Do you think you can change the WHOLE family of that Iyer girl as T. Iyengars, just by this wedding? :lol:
Click to expand...
more humourous than that the girl father going to his spiritual guru to ask if he should give his daughter to a

vaishnavite in marriage. my son laughed saying he and his girl friend did not take spiritual gurus permission to fall in love.lol

I did change the girls side to some extent making them dance to bhangra beats in mapillai azaippu.
 
tbs said:
hi

generally telugu iyer grooms with NALLA POOSALU THALI....means small black beeds with round shape pendant......
Click to expand...
my daughter also got some black beads.

most working ladies hang them in almirahs to be taken out on ceremonial occassions or when inlaws visit.

all these thaaali sentiment is only in tamil films or as a fashion statement on certain occassions.

so are maang mey sindoor and metti.
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Krish Sir,

I burst into laughter reading your post about the dress of your Iyer sambandhis, during your son's wedding.

Do you think you can change the WHOLE family of that Iyer girl as T. Iyengars, just by this wedding? :lol:
Click to expand...
you know RRji
At least I can try.

recently I tried responding to an iyer family for another girl in a matrimonial forum.

the girls father was furious that an iyengar is doing this.

I tried telling him is that he is not the first iyer facing this issue and I have two iyer bride/bridegroom in my family.

he stopped corresponding with me calling me vile names.lol

see I am a trier and never give up.

the most recent one I collected from a kerala iyengar family which is an uncommon place to get iyengars. I did that

in 2 months flat. sometimes one gets iyengars from unlikely places
 
krish44 said:
when my son a vaishnavite married an iyer girl, I grandly said let each side make a thaali of their choice.

I did not want to get into a war on the the thaali signs. I told one of my relatives to take care of it with my

prospective sambandhi.my relative a senior conventional lady preserved the vaishnavite faith by buying two identical

thengalai brahmin sign thaali to preserve our faith.lol

I pitied my sambandhi as his daughter was getting transformed into a vaishnavite with our caste signs and madisar

the poor girl also ended up going to vaishnavite kovil kula deivam.

but at the maarriage , my sambandhis wore madisar their style , men sported vibhuthi.

my family ladies wore our style madisar. not to be left behind, I asserted my vaishnaavite identity with our caste sign

on forehead.I felt like a stage actor making a friendly appearance at an event in fancy costume
Click to expand...


Your story stops with marriage This is a story after marriage My friend an Iyegar has an Iyer daughter in law ! This story is after the birth of her 1st male child - over naming the child He insisted the child be named Prahalad only imagining he will be praying & reciting Naryana only! though his son and daughter in law were hunting for names in the web! and the child was named as per his wish finally!
 
jj ji

this iyengar identity and naming - most of the iyengars are fanatical about it.

in weddings, caterar servers would sport iyengar caste signs irrespective of their caste,

referring to dishes as amudu added at the end for curry, rasam and the thiru becoming an appendage to every word .

Complicated names such as thiru venkatacharya, thiruramanujacharya etc are definite tongue twisters.

the worst is the habit of using hands instead of spoons for serving curries and liquids by the more orthodox.

but modern families use names of politicians and cricketers the popular are rajiv, rahul,srikanth.etc

but there are a literally lakhs of raman,krishnan srinivasan, rajagopalan , narayanan parthasarathyetc. no iyengar

home is complete without one of these names

prahalad though is unusual.
 
krish44 said:
jj ji

this iyengar identity and naming - most of the iyengars are fanatical about it.

in weddings, caterar servers would sport iyengar caste signs irrespective of their caste,

referring to dishes as amudu added at the end for curry, rasam and the thiru becoming an appendage to every word .

Complicated names such as thiru venkatacharya, thiruramanujacharya etc are definite tongue twisters.

the worst is the habit of using hands instead of spoons for serving curries and liquids by the more orthodox.

but modern families use names of politicians and cricketers the popular are rajiv, rahul,srikanth.etc

but there are a literally lakhs of raman,krishnan srinivasan, rajagopalan , narayanan parthasarathyetc. no iyengar

home is complete without one of these names

prahalad though is unusual.
Click to expand...

Prabably they are not comfortable with Prhalad's father Hiranyakasyabu!
 
krish44 said:
....... most working ladies hang them in almirahs to be taken out on ceremonial occassions or when inlaws visit.

all these thaaali sentiment is only in tamil films or as a fashion statement on certain occassions. ........
Click to expand...
You think all are like the girls and ladies in your family circle! :tsk:

There are many working females, who consider thAli as a sacred symbol of their wedding and wear it always! :thumb:
 
We give morereligious importance to thalikodi - but many working women they hide it as far as possible - i do not know why- is it to show they are unmarried? Hindus why they attach more importance at the time of marriage and then do like this? I know few ladies got permission from their hubbies and hsng the thalikodi in shelf and go without it. And the funny part they perform homams. Poojas. Upanayanams to their sons? When now they are minus thalikodi what their daughters will do after 10-15 years in india or in usa? Let us folow either strictly or forget fully. No point in being a fish and bird in same janma? Let us realise our formalities and follow for the future too
[email protected]
 
With my little knowledge in the subject. I cannot say it is not at all mentioned in the scriptures. we have a reference in Lalitha sahasranamam regarding mangalya sutra and in turn a part of brahmanda purana. "Kamesha bada mangalya sutra-shobhita kandhara" ,

And when i think of the incidents happening around "Kodi", Just a simple thought like while ambal herself is having sutra(thread),we having a gold kodi seems ridiculous. I am really sure that we are not superior than her.

I know this is a sensitive topic to written. If the points make anyone feeling incormfortable, I am extremly sorry. these are just my persona thoughts.
 
[email protected] said:
We give morereligious importance to thalikodi - but many working women they hide it as far as possible - i do not know why- is it to show they are unmarried?
Click to expand...

Becos it does not match with every outfit and it gives an elderly Aunty look.
 
Last edited:
renuka said:
Becos it does not match with every outfit and it gives an elderly Aunty look.
Click to expand...
Best joke of the day, Renu! ;)

You don't know the kind of new thin patterns of chains and cutely small sized thAli designs available in the market!

All the girls from our family settled abroad wear them with pride! :thumb:
 
Raji Ram said:
Best joke of the day, Renu! ;)

You don't know the kind of new thin patterns of chains and cutely small sized thAli designs available in the market!

All the girls from our family settled abroad wear them with pride! :thumb:
Click to expand...

dear RR ji,

Even thin Kodhis give an aunty look..cos any long chain gives that impression.

Short chains look cool ...that is why I wear a very short silver chain with a Silver AUM which is visible at my neck.

AUM matches all outfits and looks happening.

BTW what has pride got to do with wearing a piece of jewelery?LOL
 
Last edited:
Raji Ram said:
Best joke of the day, Renu! ;)

You don't know the kind of new thin patterns of chains and cutely small sized thAli designs available in the market!

All the girls from our family settled abroad wear them with pride! :thumb:
Click to expand...
Wearing these chains and proudly exhibiting them perhaps signifies their open display of ultimate victory over menfolk .[atleast one man who is under her thumb .],lol
 
krish44 said:
Wearing these chains and proudly exhibiting them perhaps signifies their open display of ultimate victory over menfolk .[atleast one man who is under her thumb .],lol
Click to expand...
Another untold rule is this:

When a bachelor in the U S of A gets engaged to a girl, he wears the engagement ring so that other girls will stop following him! :D
 
dear RR ji,

I do not know why some women want to show they are married.
Marriage is an addition to life..that does not change our true self in anyway.

For example I still remember one relative of my husband urging me to gain some weight cos she felt I was too thin and did not look like a married woman!LOL

I wonder why women are obsessed to look married.

Also once a relative of my husband told me that one needs to wear Thali and Pottu so that other men know we are married and stay away..to which my reply was "when did the Thali or Pottu ever stop any men from ogling at any woman?'
 
Raji Ram said:
They don't consider it JUST as a piece of jewellery! :)
Click to expand...

Dear RR ji,

Goundamani is right....in one movie he said women do not love their husbands ..they only love their Thali,Poo and Pottu to be able to dress up well.

I fully agree with him.

I have seen so many women who wear Thali and Pottu 24/7 yet treat husband badly.

So the importance here should be loving our husband and not merely displaying the Thali alone!LOL
 
We have some menfolk whose Sacred thread (Poonal) can be seen precariously hanging on coat stand and similarly ladies whose Thaalikodi will be safely deposited in Bank vault thus nullifying the very significance of our tradition and practice. We have all sorts.
 
there can be a separate island in the indian ocean for those who want only tradition and practices.

they can practice all their rituals and perform tribal dances besides doing penance to win favours from their special Gods.

their souls will go to a special place in heavan and join the absolute soul

there will be no rebirth for them

normal mortal like us will enjoy what life has to offer in this material world and probably have a number of rebirths to continue our merry lives.lol

just an idle thought not to be taken seriously by anyone.
 
renuka said:
.......... 1. I do not know why some women want to show they are married.
2. Marriage is an addition to life..that does not change our true self in anyway. ........
Click to expand...
Dear Renu,

1. The married woman are to be given more respect by men folk and men are not supposed to ogle them. In Tamil literature

there is something called 'piRan manai nOkkAp pErANmai', which means the manly virtue of not ogling wife of other man. :thumb:

2. It does change to some extents. We learn to tolerate more people, in addition to the better half! :D
 
krish44 said:
there can be a separate island in the indian ocean for those who want only tradition and practices.........
Click to expand...
No need for a separate island, Krish Sir. They practice at home as you practice something else at your sweet home!

BTW, many modern agrahArams are coming up, instead of islands! :cool:
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Renu,

1. The married woman are to be given more respect by men folk and men are not supposed to ogle them. In Tamil literature

there is something called 'piRan manai nOkkAp pErANmai', which means the manly virtue of not ogling wife of other man. :thumb:

Click to expand...

dear RR ji,

But isnt it normal for heads to turn when we see a good looking person be it male or female irrespective of marital status.

For example most airline pilots are usually very good looking..its is nice to watch an airline pilot.

Ok another example.. people go crazy when they see Aishwarya Rai even though she is a married woman.

I once saw a drop dead good looking more than 6 feet tall African guy out here..he looked like a male model.Everyone both male and females were just looking at him..even my husband asked me if that guy was a movie star or something.

So you see a thing of beauty is meant to be admired or even ogled at!LOL
 
Dear Renu,

FYKI, looking is NOT ogling, OK?

Admiring a person is totally different from imagining the same person in bed!! :lol:

Read the meaning of 'ogle' -

verb - stare at in a lecherous manner

noun - a lecherous look
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Renu,

FYKI, looking is NOT ogling, OK?

Admiring a person is totally different from imagining the same person in bed!! :lol:

Read the meaning of 'ogle' -

verb - stare at in a lecherous manner

noun - a lecherous look
Click to expand...


Dear RR ji,

OMG! I am conservative...I never imagine anyone in bed!LOL

RR ji..Ogle does not mean one has to imagine the person in bed.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Share this page

Latest posts

Latest ads

Follow us on Social Media

Back
Top